The word of the day is Guster. That's all I've been thinking about, mostly. There's a Guster show on November 8th, at the Wiltern in LA, and I want to go quite badly. But uh, no one I know shares my love for Guster! Eh, whatever, you can all just come anyways. Then you'll all be instant fans.

There's only one slight problem. It's twenty-five dollars. So if that deters anyone, then you'll just be missing out on one of the best bands ever.

Okay okay, this un-excited tone I'm trying to write with is NOT WORKING! IT'S GUSTER! ON NOVEMBER EIGHTH! AHHHHHHHHH! I WANT TO GOOOOOOO!

*breathes*

Now I need to scrape up twenty-five bucks and a friend or two. Shouldn't be too hard..

Okay so, here's the long journal entry I promised. Pretend that it's Sunday, because then it will make more sense. Also, I apologize if anyone's eyes fall out and burn from staring at the computer screen forever. But don't say I didn't warn you.


Ha, today we played some random Canyon team, and we killed them 7-0. It was kind of funny. The fields were awful though..every time I kicked the ball, I'd be sliding around. Crazy stuff. I did score two and assist like, three or something. That was kind of cool. And yeah, you all totally care.

Uh, let's see. Today I thought that I was going to be able to sleep in because my game wasn't until one, but no, I have to wake up at 8:30 to go to church. Oh, joy! How I love church. I've basically had the Christian religion shoved down my throat since the day I was born. I never even had a choice in the matter of going to church and all that crap. I remember the first day that I decided I didn't want to go, and my parents went nuts. Sure, in the end I got my way and got to stay home, but you can't forget the half hour screaming match that led to that. I think the only reason they stopped yelling at me was because they were going to be late to their precious church. Then, about a month or so ago, the whole family loaded up in the van and went to church as usual, but there weren't really any seats left when we got there. So me and Celia decided that we would just sit outside and wait for the service to be over, because it's not like we get anything out of it anyways. I think it's just a stupid waste of time, but what does my opinion matter? When my parents noticed we had kind of disappeared, my dad came out and lectured us for the whole service (a bit over an hour). It was so stupid, because I told him that I saw no point in church, and he told me "the further you take yourself away from church, the further you take yourself from good, moral things." He was basically saying that if I don't go to church then I'm a bad person, and I'll go to Hell. Speaking of that, me and Celia were talking to my mom the other day, and somehow Heaven and all that came up. She said something like, "Oh, when I die, I'm going to go to Heaven!" I don't quite remember the whole conversation, but Celia said something like, "Did you know that the Bible says that if you aren't a Christian, then you'll go to Hell? It says that Jewish people are going to Hell, along with every other non-Christian." Well, my mom just couldn't even comprehend that the Bible would say such things, but she didn't care. I was like, "Oh, so Lauren, Jessica, and Gabby are all going to go to Hell?" She got all flustered and tried to defend her point, but it wasn't really working. I told her that I didn't believe in the concept of Heaven and Hell, because what about the Buddhists? I'm not quite sure what they believe in (Melody, a little help? heh), but I'm almost positive that it's not Heaven and Hell. What about the Islam people? They believe in Paradise (I think). And Hindus, reincarnation. I think. But all of these different religions believe so strongly in their different..beliefs (yeah, that was a good sentence) that it's hard to figure out what's going to happen to all of them. If you're a Christian, then you believe everyone who isn't a Christian is going to Hell, and it's the same with all the other religions. I just don't get it. Sorry if I don't make sense, but whatever. I think that when you die, you're dead, kaput, the end, it's over. No reincarnation, no nirvana, no Paradise, and certainly no Heaven and Hell.

I found this online..it's rather interesting, especially the first few paragraphs. The more I research religion, the more I find that it doesn't really make any sense. It's funny, because Christians preach that material objects don't matter, and it's the treasures you store in your heart, not your house, that matter. Then I look in one of the inserts in the bulletin, and find these things (here and here). I'll explain them by number.

1. Okay, about a month ago there was a sermon preaching that you should build up your treasures in your heart, not on earth. If you ask me, the underlined part completely contradicts that sermon. Yes, because material things will allow everyone to "fully experience God." I'm totally going to believe that.
2. "Worship Furnishings Crusade"?? CRUSADE?! Alright, whenever I hear the word "crusade" I think of the Crusades themselves, when the Christians went around killing everyone who wouldn't convert to Christianity. Honestly, a much better name could have been chosen.
3. Here we are back at the treasures in the heart business. It's the same point I've made twice before, so I'm not going to bother to state it again.
4. Okay.."Building a Life That Matters." So they mean that your life is meaningless if you don't go to church and worship God? For some reason, this quote sounds awfully close-minded. Also, I can imagine someone saying this quote, and then after it, saying something like, "If you aren't a Christian, then we hate you! If you aren't a good Christian, we hate you more!" I don't know, it just doesn't sound like something a church person would say.
5. This whole passage is kind of more of the same. I'm interpreting it as the only way to find comfort and direction is God, the only way to end lonliness is God, the only way to be happy is God, and the only way you're ever going to find meaning and purpose in life is through God. Sure, that may work for some people, but really. I'm fairly sure that God is not the answer to everything.

There's more, but it's all the same sort of thing, so what's the point? If I offended anyone, then that's too bad, because this is what I think. I think that I shouldn't be forced to go to church and praise some God that I don't even believe in anymore. Actually, I'm not sure if I ever believed in Him..it's just been force-fed to me my entire life. When I was little, there was no option of not going to church, or not praying, or not worshipping. It just wasn't acceptable. You would think that now that I'm growing up a bit, I would be able to make my own choices in such matters. But no, I guess not. I'm still stuck under the dictatorship of my parents. "If you don't go to church, then your privileges will be taken away! If you don't go, then you aren't a good person!" Just some of the lovely things my father has said to me..nice, isn't it? I'm getting sick of writing about this crap. So whatever.

"I have yet to see any problem, however complicated, which, when looked at in the right way, did not become still more complicated."
-Poul Anderson

"I'm not really in a place in my brain that is for making up a decent story so let's talk for a minute about depression. Depression is bad and really it is kind of silly to even have depression at all, but sometimes you can't help it. Sometimes you have depression and you kind of sit there and and feel like something's wrong with your guts. So I think that if you get depression you should just think about why you have it and maybe use the Force or something and not have depression anymore. Or maybe just read a bunch of books that are not sad (there are fewer than nineteen books ever written that are like this). I don't know how it works, but I really hate the depression a lot. Man there are just too many awesome things for any human that is capable to do out there, instead of sitting around thinking about reasons why they suck."
-jeffR


Yeah.