Please forget the words that I just blurted out. It wasn't me, it was my strange and creeping doubt. It keeps rattling my cage and there's nothing in this world that will keep it down.

Even though I might, even though I try, I can't.

So many things that keep me underground. So many words that I can never find. If you give up on me now I'll be gutted like I've never been before.

And even though I might, even though I try, I can't.

If you give up on me now I'll be gutted like I've never been before. And even though I might, even though I try, I can't. Even though I might, even though I try, I can't.

I would just like to say that I don't really like people very much right now and that also I hate my internal clock and hope it gets smashed and dies or something.

That is all.

By the time I finish writing this, it won't be Christmas anymore.
When was the last time I actually wrote something instead of posting pictures? I can't remember. But I have this idea that's been in the back of my mind for a few days now..if I decide to do it, you'll be able to figure it out. Until then, no details. Don't die from the suspense now. Okay, like always, it's picture time.

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Adventure!
So tonight's original plans to hang out with Sir Garid Berman somehow transformed into something even more awesome than it would have been at first. The telling of the adventure will be partly in words and partly by picture. So pay attention!

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Ahahaha it's almost three in the bloody morning the day of the first finals and I am still awake. I still need to study for math. Goddamn.

Sometimes I irrationally hate my life. This is one of those times.

Cool, pictures.
These are from my birthday and beyond. I meant to post them sooner, but it happens. As usual, click below.

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Less than three weeks left of the semester. That's pretty exciting, but that also means less than three weeks until finals and semester grades. Oh, lovely. I need to maintain my English grade and raise my physics grade, but I doubt that will happen. I might end up inadvertently drop-failing physics because I miss it so much. You know, I really wouldn't consider it my fault if I don't wake up because BOTH of my alarms fail to function. Hey, I tried. What do you want me to do, buy another one? I guess I could set my watch or something..but I don't really care that much.

Speaking of physics, I have not started either the four to five page paper or the PowerPoint presentation that is due in two days. I figure I'll write the paper tonight because then the PowerPoint will be easy to do and I won't have to spend too much time on it tomorrow. Of course, I also have to outline chapter twenty-one tonight, so who knows what will happen.

Physical therapy tomorrow. I hope they can at least give me an estimate of how much longer I'll be out. Sitting on the sideline watching is getting really dull. I was talking to Lorme today about being injured and we came to the conclusion that no one understands it..they all say "Oh I wish I could sit out!" or "You're so lucky, you don't have to run!" or some crap like that. Trust me, it sucks and I would much rather be running and playing. It's been over three weeks..that's quite a long time to do nothing for someone who's used to working out every day. Incredibly frustrating. I suppose though that I can sacrifice a soccer season as long as I'm better by track. It'll suck, but I won't mind. As long as I can run..that's all that matters.

I do believe I have procrastinated writing this damn paper and outlining enough. I've already put both things off for about a week. Time to get moving.

HAHAHAHA.
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This is the part of me that needs medication. This is the part of me that believes in heaven. This is the part of me that thinks outer space is all dead. This is the part of me that wishes it was with it. This is the part of me that's trying to be funny. This is the part of me that loves my parents. This is the part of me that thinks that ants are cavemen. This is the part of me that thinks all humans are ants. This is the part of me that learns from sitcoms. This is the part of me that means nothing.

And I don't know where I could go away and you could wish that I had stayed or just stayed gone. And I don't know..and I don't know at all. So, out of the context and into what you meant. And you know your reasons. You don't know who you are but you know who you wanna be. I don't know. So you go to the library to get yourself a book, and you look and you look but you didn't find anything to read. And I don't know at all. Left all my kinder parts rusting and peeling.

That guy was complaining as he looked at the ceiling, "My nose isn't that big it looks nothing like me." We're all doctors trading sadness for numbness. Grass looks much greener but it's green-painted cement. The mayor's machines are there cleaning the pavement. You can't make dirt clean so we'll just lemon-scent it.

This plane is definitely crashing. This boat is obviously sinking. This building's totally burning down. And my heart has slowly dried up.