I love Hippies and guys that are engaged and/ or married, not fair

wow I havnet written in this thing for a long time! well I have 2 more finals and I am done with my 3rd year. i cant believe i am almost out of this place. I am happy, yet nervous b/c that means i will have a real life with a real job (hopefully) like a real person. I am going to Italy for a month this summer and i am leaving next week..I am so Fin happy i cant stand it. I never get excited for anything in my life, but this is something I am EXTEREMLY happy for. then I will be back 5 days before my 21st! hopefulli can find a job for 2 months.
This year has pretty much sucked i am not going to lie or surgar coat anyting it SUCKED. from classes and jsut being annoyed and pissed about everytign and everyone. I ve come to the conclusion I dont like people. Everyting is such a big freaking deal. I need to relax and just chill out, stop worrying and getting pissed. I am going to either have a heart attack or kill someone. So yeah 2 days and i am done. Stress..I cause stress i make shit more diffuclt than it needs to be, but damnit i am a perfectionsit mayeb a little ocd, but hey too freakin bad go suck a dick if you have a problem :) ok its 1:45 i have a final in 7 hours that i am going to fail. I did do well on my fiansl..and do you think i care. I dont knwo why but i have been really calm, i havent studied its b/c i am going to italy in a week, so i dont give a shit(but you all know deep down I care, i wish i would of studied more..oh well :)

get me out of here...
short update...i am counting down the days till this semester is over b/c it sucks..period...so much shit going on..the best part is i dont give 2 shits. b/c in about 6 weeks or so i will be on my way to Italy! yes going to Italy for a month will be great...then i need to find a job for the rest of the summer....but yeah the quicker this semester is over the better...i just need to graduate...its like highschool all over again. cant end soon enough..not saying a want a job..just dont want to be at kent anymore....yeah maybe i should of transfered like i was goign to...oh well to late. I got to get it done..hopefully sooner than later

Who falls asleep in the libaray back behidn the stacks, while studying.. for an hour......ME!!
hello...wow i am tired(havnet slept in a long time)
Havent updated in a while. School is killing me, so i am leaving this saturday for thanksgving break, i cant stand being here, so iam skipping out. anyways I passed my GSP! so now i dont have to worry about it, now i only need to get a B in media wriitng and my worries will be over! anyways i dont think i wrote this in here but iam a photo-ill major! haha the reason why i came to kent inthe first place, so iam doing that and i am not changing. i finally declared my minor in writing, so iam set, only a year and a semester to go. I know what I want to do and where i want to live, and that would be living in New York and being an art director for a magazine, until that happens i wont be happy. i swear everytime i update this is always about school, thats because thats all i do, i have no life, no love, just school and that is perfeclty ok with me (i guess).
I swaer in every class I have I find one person in every class that i just dont like and they find reasons to piss me off, or i find a reason to pick a fight with them...oh how i love to argue. This one kid in my poetry writing clas....we are going to fight. freakin ass hole who write for the stater....YEAH THE STATER SUCKS..there i got that out. by the way it is extremely cold here and it is anowing, i like winter, but ohio winter is another story...how many days till summer break...who knows what iam doing this summer? Stayign here-taking classes, or finding an internships and staying here and extra semester! who knows i will figure it out. well i am out, watching the O.C. on taope delay
WHo eles is pissed Lauguna beach is over....and for some odd reason iam going to watch it again..and 'the hills'...oh reality tv about a bunch of rich white kids...i love it 1 ) b/c i will never be that rich(maybe) and 2) I will never be white (thank the lord,no offence)

Hello..i hate that song
Hello...
I am not dead, i jsut dont have time ot update this thing. I have been living in the photolab fo rthe past week...I had a midterm due this week in photo and poetry..iam not too happy the way the photo midterm turned out..but its not worth much.. iam jsut ready to get started on the final. but nothing eles has been going on. I still have a boring BORINg life...everyone sucks. I feel bad i havent talked to anyone..like my good friends for such a long time...but oh well thats what happens. I guess halloween is next weekend...WHOOOOO HOOO...yeah i dont care...anyways
I am going to sleep b/c i cant keep my eyes open. I have class at 8:50....and i have no idea what is going on in that class...
The school of Journalism and Mass Comm is on my shit list!!

hmmm staying up till 3:15 studyign and waking up at 7:50 for a test is AMAZING..i better of passed that shit!
well there is noting to up date school is kicking my ass and that is about it. I think i am in the running for the most boring life of any college student
photography is going well. iam happy i have that class. poetry writing is great, i've been writign some good stuff (i guess) media writing...my class from hell is going ok after my slight break down after class on monday. its kind of early in the year to be freaking out but it is bound to happen at least 3-7 times in a sesmester...DAMN STRESS
but its ok now (no worries)
but i know some people who have in thier AIM profiles about ott having girl or boy friends..WAH WAH WAH
I have this to say.
" the one thing you are searching for, is seeking for you too"
- thanks to poetry class for that! b/c its very true!

Kayne West is my hero!
Well i am in my 3rd week of my jr. year!
So i dont have much to write. I am doing good i can't complain. I am oddly happy so some unknown reason. but always annoyed! i love photography and poetry writing. my professor is the most inspiring person i have ever had the joy of listening to. But yeah i joing NABJ which is the national assoc. of black journalisr. Which is cool its good to be around people that are intered in the same things you are and are focused and alot liek you. So this is the update. I am going to go watch tv. Later
" I hate grammar more than president bush hates black people"
hahaha i love people who speak thier minds on National TV ven if they make an ass out of themseleves.

I for some reason feel in love with these lyrics written by Patty Griffin- but i found this cover by one of my favorite people Marc Broussard.
We are swimming with the snakes at the bottom of the well
So silent and peaceful in the darkness where we fell
But we are not snakes and what's more we never will be
And if we stay swimming here forever we will never be free
I heard them ringing the bells in heaven and hell
They got a secret they're getting ready to tell
It's falling from the skies
It's calling from the graves
Open your eyes boy, I think we are saved
Open your eyes boy, I think we are saved
Let's take a walk on the bridge right over this mess
Don't need to tell me a thing baby, we already confessed
And I raised my voice to the air
And we were blessed
It's hard to give
It's hard to get
But everybody needs a little forgiveness
We are calling for help tonight on a thin phone line
As usual we're having ourselves one hell of a time
And the planes keep flying over our heads
No matter how loud we shout
Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey
And we keep wavin and wavin our arms in the air but we're all tired out
I heard somebody say today's the day
Big old hurricane she's blowing our way
Knockin over the buildings
Killing all the lights
Open your eyes boy, we made it through the night
Open your eyes boy, we made it though the night
Let's take a walk on the bridge right over this mess
Don't need to tell me a thing baby, we already confessed
And I raise my voice to the air
And we were blessed
It's hard to give
It's hard to get
It's hard to give
But still I think it's the best bet
Hard to give
Never gonna forget
But everybody needs a little forgiveness
Everybody needs a little forgiveness

I DECLARED MY MAJOR BITCH!
Its offical I declared my major today.( you should be clapping for me) I declard in visual journalism (concentration in info design) then some time this week i might declare my minor in writing, I might be double minoring in PR b/c i only need 9 more crdits for it. so iam happy. its done! i finally did it. i know i will change it so oh well
hello, this will be short. ok iam back at Kent... i wasnt overly happy about going back, i mean i wasnt excited, but do i ever get excited or happy abotu anything? No. Anyways i moved in on saturday, was a bum on sunday. Went to class today (monday)
8:50-9:40am Principles of Thinking
then i have a long ass break
6:15-8:05 Media writing
Ok my morning class is too early...I dont funtion before 12:00pm so what the hell.. i fell asleep in class, mostly b/c i coudlnt see the projector screen becuase this guy on the football team sat in front of me, and he had a big ass head not to mention he was like 6'5...thank god my prof is giving notes in a packet.
ran into some friends...went to the Rec
seeing some people was awkard, b/c everyone is freaking strange.
so that was my day, tomorrow is going to be long, another night class, i have a damn night class everynight, boo.
Ok i am going to sleep...

Hello Lovely People..it jsut dawned on me i have to go back to Kent in 26 days :( I am VERY SAD
Well I got to see Gavin Degraw in concert at 7 Springs on July 29..he was amzing I mean this man, this very talented and good looking man walked through the crowd as he sang Chemical Party. I was blown away. I like him even more now. There is something about being within 2 inches of someone that you listen to almost everyday or have seen on tv. Its Great! But I had so much fun. I got to spend time with a great friend. Someone that will be one of my best friends for a long time. I am very happy Shane came with me b/c we dont get to see eachother alot and it was just cool to pick back up and discover we still have alot in common, You know there are jsut some people in this world that are on your wavelength. That no matter how much time passes by, there are some people who are just there, and there are many who arent. And I guess friendship is jsut being there with the people that have always been there. Ange aka Big AL and Gina L. came with me too. It was alot of fun, your typical Concert,,,the 5 girls who are drunk off of one beer,,,,yes the scared 1 shared beer " This is going to be a fight" and the Drunk boys not men that were dragged there by thier stupid ass girlfriends and these "men" bitching about how much everything sucked...and me wanting to beat someones ass, Ive never been to a concert were peopel talk while someone is performing... LAME!! well after the concert, the peope with yellow wrist bands were suspose to stay and us with the purple wrist bands were suspose to leave. SHIT~ we stuck around and met Mr. Micheal Tolcher who opened for Gavin. He was Great,,, I am a fan now. and he is a relaly nice guy too bad he is like 31, but what a nice guy, you know he didnt have to talk to us, he didnt have to at all. But he did, it was a great Night. I saw this kid who looked familar I jsut thought I new him from town or something....No he goes to Kent! So later after running into him I am getting some pictures from him b.c iam a dummy and didnt take my camera with me! an ig to Cold ( what a surprise) so i had on my Kent Sweatshirt and in the middle of the concert this girl turns around and asked me if I went to Kent. I said "Yeah" shae said me too...that was the end of the conversation. But how odd, I mean thats like 3 hours away form Ohio,,,What can I say its all about Thoes PA Mountatins!!!
And Holy Crap I jsut saw Gavin Degraw in concert. defitenly in my top 3 (out of 7..i know sad) best concerts I've been to, this was very low key and i didnt loose my voice, but it was good. I am glad I went, the high point of my summer!
ok I've been checking out new music
1) Micheal Tolcher- Becasue I jsut saw him Live and he Coverd the song "Da Butt'''....doin the but/ohh sexy sexy....You better look that up if you dont know!!
2) Citizen Cope- b/c he is damn good
3) Marc Brossard- prob one of the best voice of any singer/songwriter otu there, I dig his Cajun stlye, his funk, his soul, and his Rasspy Voice,,,I have to get his cd

We are all searching for inspiration, like it or not
OK this is my new favorite song even though i have liked it for a while now.
I have been thinking for the past few days that inspiration is missing, not just in my eyes, but in everyone's life. You know its not love that is missing, or hope, or fear that is missing. It is inspiration. now that inspiration could be love or friendship or hope, or the 20 other million feelings we have in our hearts, or at least in mine. No i haven't figured anything out. i just realized that we all put blame in why our lives suck and why we are unhappy with what we have, but how many of us have something to work for. What is driving us? if you don't have an absolute love in your life, weather it is a person, a hobby, a sport, or an art , nothing is truly driving us to have fulfillment in our oh so very short lives. So what am i trying to say. I guess i am trying to figure that out as i randomly type all this rambling. It just comes down to wanting something, bitching about it till you get it, being temporarily happy, then when it leaves b/c your hopeless since of perfection is completely destroyed, Your true and i mean TRUE happiness can never be fulfilled forever b/c you are a feeble minded human that is never entirely satisfied until the next big thing comes along. That you will never get what you need, not what you want. Take everything and everyone person that enters an exist your life as a tool. (Even if they are a Tool) that these people no matter hoe insignificant they might be in the big scheme of you life. You are connected to the for a reason. That someone my exude a spark of inspiration. That spark that makes a difference between yes and no. That spark that puts you on the right path. So yes we blame this things that go wrong in our lives on how God or you personal higher being Hates you! but we need to blame it on lack of want in out lives. We all have heard we live for love. That love is happiness. but how is love anything with out the inspiration or want or yearning to drive that powerful feeling. How can you be passionate about anything without being inspired to want it. How do we find this inspiration? I can't answer that or I would have insiparation in my life now. I wouldn't be sitting here at 2 am writing about needing inspiration.
I need it more than anything, not to be happy but to feel and be alive. So Yes, We are all looking and searching for inspiration, weather we like it or not. The only thing I can say is look in the unlikely, small places, get low and look high, reflect and breathe, you might find it, I will try this along with you.
* OK I am done and if you read all of that God Bless you and if you think i am insane...i think you are amazing!

More Lame Quizzez, b/c i have no life
I found this funny....yet true, if you really know me, beyond a name and a face,then you know its ture, if you only know me on the outside and you don't think any of this is true, you dont know me. You only know my name and my face. That my friend is sad. Invest your self in getting to know people.

You Are An Apple Tree

You are quiet and shy at times, but you have lots of charm and appeal. You are quite attractive: your pleasant attitude, flirtatious smile, and adventurous spirit draw people in. Sensitive and loyal in love, you want to love and be loved. You are a faithful and tender partner - who is generous in sharing your many talents. You love children, and you need an affectionate partner.

I thought this was funny....
I found one of thoes dumb things you put in your journal...so I took this quiz, and damn it was true!....my middle name is Lame