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m&ms487
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2008 24 December :: 4.26pm
:: Mood: content
I'm home with the parents right now. I've been home for a few days since my seniority at work actually got me valuable time off for once. I've leaving tomorrow afternoon, though, because I have to work at five thirty on the day after Christmas, although Meijer doesn't actually open until six.
I'm going to be alone for a few weeks since Rueben is staying down here to work and I have to go back to Mt. Pleasant to work. I've already planned on going on a baking frenzy to take up my time. I think I'm also going to start working out at the student activity center now that I'm feeling better.
And I am feeling better. I've been able to actually eat for about three weeks now. I've gained about ten pounds back, so I don't look so scary any more.
Grades are in, I got all B's and a B+ in my English class, and I'm okay with that. If I can pull all B's while almost dying, I think I did well.
I'm not looking forward to driving home tomorrow, but I think I'll be alright.
It was nice having a few days off, and I'll be ready when next semester starts in a few weeks.
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m&ms487
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2008 6 December :: 2.30pm
I turn 21 tomorrow.
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m&ms487
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2008 17 November :: 12.01pm
I have a french exam in one hour that I am not prepared for.
I'm fairly sure I just failed a math exam two hours ago.
But I think I'm going to be okay, and that's all that really matters right now.
[edit] I think the French exam went all right and I've almost eaten an entire tray of sushi. Yippee.
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m&ms487
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2008 10 November :: 2.58pm
I haven't updated in a while. I haven't had time. No. That's incorrect. I haven't had the motivation.
Something is wrong. I'm sleeping all of the time and always tired. It's not depression. I went to the doctor's and they told me I had a viral infection and anemia. A week later, it should be better, but I slept for over twelve hours last night and I've been laying down every chance I get.
I went home on Sunday for a family reunion and the only things people said to me is that I look like a poster child for anorexia and I look tired. I've lost almost eighty pounds. I'm trying to stay stable at 130.
Although my test came back negative for mono, I still think I probably have it. Why else would I be so tired all of the time? Everything is suffering because of it: my grades, my attitude, my dealings with my friends and brothers.
I just want to wake up and be okay.
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m&ms487
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2008 21 October :: 10.50pm
Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one laughing, the only one aware. I just can't shake the feeling that sometimes I see things in a way that no one else can even comprehend.
Central won against Western. For those of you who don't know, it's a big deal. There are five state troopers parked about two hundred yards away from my apartment to keep things "under control." This is probably the quietest Saturday night of the year as of yet.
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m&ms487
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2008 15 October :: 4.25pm
I am withdrawing from chemistry. It is going to make me a happier person.
I'm taking French and three literary theory classes next semester. Probably.
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m&ms487
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2008 16 October :: 7.58am
Monday.
Math at nine. Chemistry exam at ten that I feel like I'm going to fail, but I can't afford to.
French at one.
Follow up appointment with the doctor at three. Maybe I'll know what's going on then.
SGA at seven, meeting with Brothers at eight, eboard at nine, membership education meeting.
Oh, and I have to buy toilet paper sometime.
AHHHHHGGG!
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m&ms487
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2008 7 October :: 12.27pm
I got a straight A on my contemporary theory paper about Existentialism.
Yay.
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m&ms487
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2008 6 October :: 3.57pm
I'm finally getting into the swing of things this semester. My French Prof. told me I was doing fine in response to my comments about how I don't feel comfortable speaking in class or volunteering yet on my first participation review. I have things going with the Fraternity and I went to Mu Delta's (the chapter at Western) first degree on Saturday night. I have everything prepared for the chapter field representative visit when she comes the first week of November, and all in all, things are going well.
I have my follow up appointment with the gastrointerologist in a week and I turn twenty one in two months.
I still hate chemistry, but I'm going to stick it out because I have to. I'm doing alright in math, and I still don't have a graded paper back from my English class.
If I could live without the thought of death,
Forgetful of time's waste, the soul's decay,
I would not ask for other joy than breath,
With light and sound of birds and the sun's ray.
I could sit on untroubled day by day
Watching the grass grow, and the wild flowers range
From blue to yellow and from red to grey
In natural sequence as the seasons change.
I could afford to wait, but for the hurt
Of this dull tick of time which chides my ear.
But now I dare not sit with loins ungirt
And staff unlifted, for death stands too near.
I must be up and doing -- ay, each minute.
The grave gives time for rest when we are in it.
-Wilfrid Blunt
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m&ms487
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2008 2 October :: 12.39pm
:: Mood: annoyed
Classes, health, everything is quite overwhelming at the moment.
I had my scope last Friday. I was going to update something about it, but I was still too high from the stuff they gave me and then I took a four hour long nap.
She told me that I don't have an ulcer, and they took some biopsies of my stomach lining/bacteria to test for super acidity. She said that I might need a CAT scan. My follow up appointment is a week from Monday.
Classes. French. Je ne comp pas. J'aime la francais, mais je deteste l'examens. I have a 79% in the class right now. I keep on failing all of the quizzes because we take them after five minutes of review. I think I'm doing better than a lot of people in the class, though.
Chemistry. I would drop it if I could.
Contemporary Literary Thought. I've only written one paper, which was two weeks ago, and I haven't gotten it back yet. There is a TON of theory and philosophy. I feel like I need a philosophy minor to know what's going on. I like my New Criticism, and it's definitely NOT that.
Math. It's just a lot of work.
I can't wait until next semester when I'm taking two English classes and a political science class along with my next installment of French. I think this semester is going to be my rut semester and I'll be happy if I pull all B's.
I think I'm taking History of Literary Criticism this summer and that excites me.
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m&ms487
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2008 30 September :: 2.01pm
Rueben,
My phone won't let me call anyone. If you need me- I'm in Pearce on the fourth floor in the computer lab, and I'll be checking woohu.
If not, I'll see you at home around three or three thirty.
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Upchuck
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2008 24 September :: 11.11pm
What is wrong with this picture?
A "compassionate conservative" at the start of his presidency, George Bush is now asking us to socialize the banking sector. I wouldn't be suprised if Canada was planning to invade because of some crazy domino theory that the rest of the free world will slip into a quasi-communist system.
But seriously folks. This is a little prepostrous and hard to swallow. McCain seems to be playing right into it. What if this gets worse? Then are we just going to suspend the election? Is it just me or does this have the potential to unravel the American government, and not jus tthe American economy? I guess it doesn't matter because after the bill pass they will be one and the same I guess.
And by the way, I do not see how this is going to affect me. I guess I can understand how a slow down in financial markets is going to impact investor confidence. I can also see how the reduction in credit is going to force business to not invest in costly new projects with a ton of risk. I can see that this will slow down "progress." But will it really matter? Not to me I don't think. As long as there is a job, then I will be okay. Now if were talking Great Depression proportions, then we might not be okay. But if we let things get that bad, then shame on our government. I know, it sounds kind of ironic. Not wanting the government to do something now, but wanting them to step in if it gets worse. Yes, it makes perfect sense in my little libertarian train of thought. This is why regulation is good. To prevent these kinds of things. We need a 21st Century Teddy Roosevelt. I'm sorry, McCain, you are not it. Maybe Palin, but her business suits scare me and make me think that all she would do for domestic security was wag her finger at a gun toting Iranian cab driver. It would be the worst pr mess since someone landed on an aircraft carrier declaring total victory.
Wall Street has no guilt and no shame. That is why I have no guilt and no shame. These guys should be sent to Wyoming, or Nebraska, or wherever (not Iowa because they get to vote for president there first, we don't want to give them anything ressembling power) to live out their days farming corn and soy beans. Then we should take all their private money and use it to bail out the firms that they've run into the ground. And then give ownership of those firms to the people who's mortgages are owned by those firms so that they are not getting screwed for missing a month's payment.
Then and only then can we turn our heads and watch "It's a Beautiful Life" on TV.
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m&ms487
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2008 23 September :: 12.39pm
Time is slowly slipping through my fingers like a silken cloth.
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Upchuck
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2008 18 September :: 6.39pm
RSS in Plain English
poop
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m&ms487
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2008 17 September :: 12.25pm
:: Mood: hungry
So, I finally went and saw a specialist (gastrointerologist). I couldn't play last week in band because I was so nauseated and I finally got fed up with everything, so I went and saw a regular doctor at university health services and they referred me to a specialist in town.
I went on Monday and saw her: I'm having an GI ultra sound today at three thirty to rule out any possibilities of enlarged things (like my gull bladder) and I'm having a scope a week from Friday. The scope is where they shove a camera down my throat to look at my stomach and esophagus; I will be asleep when they do it.
For now I'm on Protonix in the morning to help to try to heal any errosion I've had, and Zantac at night to reduce the acid in my stomach.
The specialist said it's probably not an ulcer, but that the medication I was on (over the past year) probably relaxed the sphincter between my esophagus and my stomach allowing acid to come up in my throat. She said there's a strong likelihood that I will have acid reflux disease for the rest of my life if the sphincter doesn't heal.
I can't eat:
gum
tomato based foods
spicy foods
large meals
food high in fat
fried food
alcohol
coffee
caffeine
carbonated beverages
So, there it is. I'll get poked and prodded a bit more in the next few weeks: my follow up appointment is on October third.
Weight lost as of today: 66 pounds (scary)
On to french class (which is also scary).
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