::
2003 3 April :: 4.20 pm
:: Mood: ecstatic
:: Music: bowling for soup - "girl all the bad guys want"
and when she walks, all the wind blows and the angels sing
my day?... thank god it is OVER! this day was almost all torture for me. the math test.... whooooo. i dont know how i did. either really really bad or really really good. hopefully it's the latter. *crossing figers* but after, i felt so much better it was over and all stress left my body. and bio went by fast today! that was surprising. and of course i HAD to go to my locker cuz greta had a note that i supposedly NEEDED to get after bio... psh. that girl. best thing today? i finally got what i've been waiting so long for... i feel like it's not real... wanna know what i got? ... i got my angel . . . not that i dont already have 20 [my friends] who are my angels. let's just say, i'm happy =)
take my hand |
::
2003 2 April :: 6.56 pm
:: Mood: anxious
:: Music: soluna - "i'll be waiting for you"
can't you see? you mean everything to me
sigh. this week is soooo damn long! history today was just like BLAH like always. art was pretty good, considering it's usually boring. it was boring for like the first hour but the second hour, i made my drawing look so awesome... i just realized what talent i have lol. then we went to pe. we didnt even go out to the damn portable, but that was fine with me! we were all playing with each others hair. especially me, i always play with people's hair cuz for some reason, my hands are like magic and everyone loves it when i braid or comb my fingers through their hair. *shrug*. lunch was ok, nothing interesting. english was also a little pointless, we just did some stupid worksheets on irony for TFA. then once i got on the bus, i was extremely tired... why? i have no idea!
i can't wait til this week ends, i'll be EXTREMELY happy. we're leaving on friday to go to orlando and then on saturday we're leaving to go to gainesville to see my brother. i really wanted to spend the weekend @ danielle's casa but my mom made me feel guilty so. hopefully the hours in the car and listening to music will give me time to think and relax from all the frustrations of school. i have a test in math tomorrow. and i dunno when hock will ever ask us to do the thing where we have to orally explain photosynthesis and/or respiration. and then i'll probably have a history test on friday. and i have a test on things fall apart for english. tests tests... i hate it. and not only that... but i'm waiting for someone to do something. cant say exactly what it is, but lets just say it's torturing me.
lyrics: cant you see? you mean everything to me. you're in my heart, you've touched my soul, you're all i'll ever need. and it hurts so bad not to have you by my side. nothing's right, i cry all night just waiting for your call. i'll be waiting for you til the sun dont shine. i will wish on a star til i make you mine. i'll be dreaming all night that you're by my side. i'll be waiting for you til the end of time. cant you see that i need you in my life? you're all that i want, i can't deny... i'll be waiting for you
take my hand |
::
2003 30 March :: 11.49 am
:: Mood: confuzzled
:: Music: amanda perez - "angel"
has god finally sent me my angel?
*i have to tell the one i once adored that they cant have my love no more* ... why not? cuz i think i've finally found the one to give it to who'll cherish it. question is, do i want to give my love to him?... i need help
aaaaaah! i can't defeat luan... just wait for the 2-liter coke bottle... we'll see who wins then!
take my hand |
::
2003 26 March :: 8.40 pm
:: Mood: eternally romantic, in need of loving someone
:: Music: prince cornelius and thumbelina - "let me be your wings"
heaven is where you are
so everybody's back in the swing of things, and school has continued. school makes me so tired. sometimes i feel like i won't ever be able to make it through pib/ib cuz im so sick of striving for perfection. nothing is new in school, everything is still monotonous and boring. my parents are in london right now and my older cuzin, gilbert, is taking care of me. let's just say it's been interesting. i miss my parents! lol. we might go to orlando this weekend but it's all my decision and i don't know what to do. i dont know if going to orlando will be a better waste of time than staying here. *shrug*. tonight, thumbelina is on disney. i used to love that movie as a little girl, and i just watched some of it just now. i was watching my favorite part ever, when the prince takes her for a little flying. i love cartoon romances. and i want a damn boyfriend!
thumbelina lyrics:
let me be your wings, let me be your only love, let me take u far beyond the stars. let me be your wings, let me lift you high above. everything we're dreaming of will soon be ours. anything that u desire anything at all, everyday i'll take u higher and i'll never let you fall. let me be your wings... leave behind the world you know for another world of wonderous things. we'll see the universe and dance on saturns rings. fly with me and i will be your wings. wondrous things are sure to happen. heaven isnt too far... heaven is where you are. stay with me and let me be your wings.
1 lost in the moment |
take my hand |
::
2003 24 March :: 12.27 pm
:: Mood: like i have a hole inside of me
:: Music: relient k - "getting into you"
nothing to do on the last day of spring break
so... it's over. last night, we celebrated the end of spring break with gettin our groove on in riviera. it was me, danielle, briana, ashley c, vanessa, and ashley. it was a little different from the last time, but lots of fun. yeah i danced with guys, but i think when i was lying in bed, i realized how much i'd rather be with somebody i like/love and just cuddle rather than grind with some random guy with his hands on me. am i crazy? lol. i didn't think vanessa had it in her to dance like she did! you could see it in her eyes, she was lovin it, especially when she got the dudes she wanted. i think it was her first dude, but one of them was hot.
clubbin is a great form of exercise, but makes the legs [mostly thighs and knees] hurt majorly. i think it'd be cool if we could go every week to get our exercise, but i guess we have to wait til we're a little older. i dont think my parents liked the fact that i would be going out every night and coming back at 12 or 12:30. oh well, the experience was much worth it. now, i think i'm actually ready for school, if you can believe it. i never thought i'd be ready for school, but after all this tiring fun, i think it's time to go back to the routine and see everybody again. here are some quizzes... the first time i took the criminal quiz, i got vlad the impaler but i lost it and i took it again and i got the freaky girl... *quivers*... about my being "heavily depressed"... lol, yes i love cocoa!
Jude Law: you like them romantic and British with beauiful green eyes.
Which guy are you destined to have sex with? brought to you by Quizilla
You are Mary Bell. At the ripe old age of 10 you strangled a neighbor boy, afterwhich you carved your initals into his skin. At his funreal you laughed. Your next victim was a 3 year old. You pushed him off the roof, resulting in a broken skull. After he was found you went to his mothers house and asked to see him, she replied tha t he was dead. You smiled brightly and said 'Oh, I know he's dead. I wanted to see him in his coffin."
You horrid little girl you.
-smacks your hand-
Which Imfamous criminal are you? brought to you by Quizilla
Hey Princess! Get off your cell phone and listen up! There is more to life than the mall, boys, and your hair. You are the typical look- obsessed, popular "cool" girl.
What kind of typical high school character from a movie are you? brought to you by Quizilla
You're depressed. Really you are. And you definitely have a reason. You often space out and stare at things blankly, even if you're normally hyper and energetic. This is because nothing really seems important anymore. You might just be sad right now, or you might be manic depressive. Don't worry. Have some cocoa and stuff'll be ok.
How Depressed are You? brought to you by Quizilla
Emotional Wreck. You are extremely emotional. You feel contentment moreso than happiness and your emotional lows are to the extreme. You need to cheer up and start enjoying your life. Where there is rain there is a rainbow and you need to see it more than others. Do something that makes you happy.
How Emotional Are You? brought to you by Quizilla
You're Christina Ricci. Beautiful.
What sexy girl are you brought to you by Quizilla
1 lost in the moment |
take my hand |
::
2003 22 March :: 10.09 am
:: Mood: awake
:: Music: stacie orrico - "stuck"
quizzes
i hate you but i love you, i can't stop thinking of you. it's true, i'm stuck on you...
You are Mia Thermopolis. Your just a typical confused and outcasted teenager who happens to be a Princess and have your own country. Thank goodness you're eventually smart enough to realize that Michael Moscovitz is way more swoon worthy than Josh Bryant.
Which Princess Diaries character are you? brought to you by Quizilla
You're the smirk,a frown-smile hybrid that's a little bit cocky and usually associated with evil or arrogant,but attractive people.You probably just don't give a damn,but it's everyone else's fault if you don't because you're too awesome to have any real faults.
What Kind of Smile are You? brought to you by Quizilla
Yuffie:A sneeky little theif, who's alway trying to get her hand on materia.And if it isn't materia it's money!
Which FF7 Character are you like??? brought to you by Quizilla
take my hand |
::
2003 19 March :: 12.00 pm
:: Mood: in the mood to be held in someone's arms
:: Music: relient k - "getting into you"
another new fave song: do you know what are getting yourself into? im getting into you, because you've got to me in a way words can't describe. im getting into you because i've got to be your essential to survive. im gonna love you with my life. i love you and that's what you are getting yourself into.
songs im listening to that are making me feel like having a boyfriend... or at least a crush:
relient k - "getting into you"
old 97s - "question"
ewan mcgregor - "your song" [moulin rouge]
jon b - "you're my angel"
sade - "by your side"
amanda perez - "angel"
k-ci and jojo - "this very moment"
disney, cinderella - "so this is love"
daniel bedingfield - "if ur not the one"
edwin mccain - "i'll be"
elvis - "i cant help falling in love w/ you"
glenn lewis - "fall again"
jaci velasquez - "imagine me w/o you"
shakira - "the one"
Vi3 - "eyes closed so tight"
usher - "separated"
boredom results in emode quizzes which result in:
-my zodiac match is cancer
-"purchasing power", aka shopping, renews me
-on a scale of 1-100, my attraction factor is 66
-when i'm in love, i am an idealistic romantic
-i'm single because i dont want to settle... i have high standards
take my hand |
::
2003 19 March :: 11.08 pm
:: Mood: aggravated
:: Music: relient k - "mood rings"
she's so pretty but she doesn't always act that way
so, spring break... it's been interesting! i wait ALL day today for my mom to stop working and i finally come online and there's NO ONE to talk to. thanks danielle! so our vacation is about halfway over and i feel like i don't have enough time to relax, im still emotionally drained. since i last wrote, these events happened:
*sunday- went to town center in the day and went clubbin at riviera in the night : all pretty damn fun but wasnt so fun when i realized that i'm not attractive to the opposite sex at all
*monday- danielle slept over but she had to leave so the whole day i just watched movies
*tuesday - went to wellington mall with alexis and it was pretty good catchin up with an old friend. she wanted me to sleepover but i didnt think my parents would want that. then later i went to movies with danielle and we went to see agent cody banks and a little repeat screening of how to lose a guy in 10 days. personally, i loved the movie [cody banks]... maybe cuz it had such a happy ending. but it was cool cuz frankie muniz was like all skilled and stuff. and him and hilary duff are too cute! i cant wait for the lizzie mcguire movie lol. and danielle slept over, we stayed up pretty late eating popcorn.
*wednesday- woke up, talked bout dreams, and then we had a little chicken soup for the soul. and guess what we had for lunch!.... no guess!!... TACO BELL! YES! i love my mommy. thats the third time i've had taco bell in like the past two weeks. i need to lose lotsa weight man!! no seriously, my clothes are getting tighter, i have to start eating less. rest of the day was spent just chillin. and now here i am sitting alone with no one to talk to. PLEASE SOMEBODY... break this cycle of loneliness
lyrics for my new favorite song... cuz i am definitely an emotional girl and i need a mood ring cuz even i dont know what i feel:
we all know the girls that i am talking about. well they are time bombs and they are ticking and the only question's when they'll blow up. and they'll blow up, we know that without a doubt. cuz they're those girls that let their emotions get the best of them. and i contrived some sort of a plan to help my fellow man. lets get emotional girls to all wear mood rings. so we'll be tipped off to when they're ticked off cuz we'll know just what they're thinking. she's so pretty but she doesnt always act that way. her moods are swingin on the swingset almost everyday. if its drama you want, then look no further. they're like the real world meets boy meets world meets days of our lives. and it just kills me how they get away with murder. they'll anger you then bat their eyes, those pretty eyes that watch you sympathize. we all know the girls that i am talking about. she likes u wednesday but now its friday and she has to wash her hair. and it just figures that we'll never figure them out. well first she's jekyll and then she's hyde... at least she makes a lovely nice pair. mood ring, tell me will u bring the key to unlock this mystery?... of girls and their emotions, play it back in slow motion so i may understand the complex infrastructure known as the female mind.
1 lost in the moment |
take my hand |
::
2003 15 March :: 8.18 pm
:: Mood: exhausted
:: Music: im watching "bring it on" on tv
interesting past few days
thursday: was so relaxing. it felt like spring vacay already cuz all the major tests were done and i already knew i'd get all a's. its surprisng how fast this nine weeks went! danielle came over at night to sleep over. and the electricity went out! it was fun. my mom is so funny. she cant live without lights. she used flashlight to do her work. and she got this new gucci purse! i LOVE it. but she wont let me use it. she put the flashlight right to my face and was like "miss kwan! step away from the gucci purse!"
friday: fiesta!... flan caused me much emotional distress but it was all good. every class was easy sailing and i loved school like that. we had probably over 4 hours of chill time throughout the day. i also saw jenny wang's art exhibit. wow... i want my own art exhibit one day. spanish was fun. then i slept over at danielles house.
today: i worked for danielleys dad at a wedding. some people are so impatient! oh well, i got money for it so its all good. im just tired. my legs and back hurt. now im jus chillin and watchin bring it on. im havin nice down time by myself. anyways ttyl
1 lost in the moment |
take my hand |
::
2003 10 March :: 9.08 pm
:: Mood: morose
:: Music: amanda perez - "angel"
send me an angel from the heavens above... please
so my weekend was pretty damn good. i was absolutely dreading the return to school and with good reason too. history was pretty pointless. math we had our chapter 10 quiz. it didnt seem hard at all, but you know how when u get something quickly you doubt yourself cuz u think it shoulda been harder? thats how i felt. *shrug* then bio we had our bullet quiz for chapter 5 and it was easy. we spent the whole day doing nothing! yay. he couldnt find the lecture so. and i got an A in bio!!! YES!! now all i need is to reassure myself in math. then i got a splitting headache near the end of bio and for the rest of the day. it hurt like a bitch. i was crying from the pain on the bus and at home. i took a nap but it didnt work. then i took motrin ib and had dinner [moms home cookin] and i felt all better. it was nice to know that people cared about me. =D. emotion wise? i dunno how i am.
lyrics:
*its been months since you went away. you left without a word and nothing to say when i was the one who gave you my heart and soul. but it wasnt good enough for you. so i asked god...and i know it might sound crazy but after all that i still love you. you wanna come back in my life but now theres something i have to do. i have to tell the one that i once adored that they cant have my love no more. my heart cant take no more lies and my eyes are all outta cries. you had me on my knees, begging god please to send you back to me. i couldnt eat or sleep. you made me feel like i could not breathe. all i wanted to do was feel your touch, to give you all of my love. but you took my love for granted. want my loving now? well you cant have it. "god send me an angel from the heavens above. send me an angel to heal my broken heart from being in love. because all i do is cry. god send me an angel to wipe the tears from my eyes." *
take my hand |
::
2003 8 March :: 8.45 pm
:: Mood: sneezy
:: Music: none... the sound of me sneezing and sniffling
my family.... please do not take any offense from our remarks.
hahahahahahahahah. i was laughing SO hard, i CRIED. literally!! tears streaming down my face! well it helped that it was an allergy sniffly day for me but STILL. danielle slept over last nite. today we woke up and we went to go eat some dim sum. we ate so much! then we went to the artfest by the sea in jupiter! it was so awesome. me and danielle felt like we were on a vacay get-away! cuz the shuttle bus. and we walked down the street looking at the artists, sweatin. then we went down to the beach and walked the opposite way and we got our butts wet. it was so funny. we have so much relaxing fun moments together. then we went up to get clean and watch people in the sun so we could still tan [although we didnt much]. gosh, those surfer boys!!! damn. i found guys that ashley c and valerie would jus LOVE. i loved all of them. and then we went to palm beach gardens. no sales! we actually didnt buy any new clothes. arent u proud? then we went to eat at don ramon. cubano comida = muy bueno. and me and danielle had our flan! haha ... you shoulda heard our conversation on "shiny food" and how its related to high cholesterol. lmao. my family is so funny. especially my mom. then the ride home... OH... GOSH. so many laughs!! you shoulda heard our sacriligious conversation too. my mom... wow. she was talking about how she always went to go up to "eat the bread thingy" and she'd eat it and then go back and get another one! lol. she's like "you jus put it into your mouth and it disappears!" lol. and we asked her why she did it and its cuz "i was wondering what that cookie tasted like" ... LMAO!!! haha. you HAD to have been there. me and danielle couldnt stop laughing. sooooo damn funny. too bad you werent there luan! well now im home and i need to go rinse off and finish bio bullets. let me tell ya, my weekend has been verrrry entertaining. thanx danielley!
take my hand |
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2003 4 March :: 6.19 pm
:: Mood: like giving love
:: Music: daniel bedingfield - "if ur not the one"
if i dont need you then why does your name resound in my head?
school lately has just been so blaaaaaaah. every day i come to school, i dread it, just waiting for the end to come. i could tell today wasnt gonna be a good day. and it turned out being okay, just not good. i just feel like if i started to pour out my feelings on here, then i would tire my heart out even more. i'm just in a state of dormancy right now. and i hate being like that, but i also hate being so head over heels. i'm never excited much anymore or really happy in school either. i have my good moments and everything cuz my friends loving me but never those... those times... when you smile to yourself just because. when you really mean it. i never smile like that... and it worries me. anyways, i dont wanna delve into all the depressive shit so imma bounce now! ttyl all.
take my hand |
::
2003 2 March :: 12.01 pm
:: Mood: at ease
:: Music: the starting line - "this ride"
here's the things i meant but never said
so yesterday i came home from devon's house and my parents left me to go to miami to see a flower show. i was all alone all day. i ate carabba's leftovers... yummy. i watched moulin rouge and the little mermaid. mr. sniffles was here too! i couldnt stop sneezing and sniffling, i was soooo stuffy and my eyes were watery. then my parents came home and my mom was like "ooohh christina you look bad" and so i took medicine. and then my parents left me again to go to a party. so i invited nicole over and we chilled and watched donnie darko. she was so freaked out it was funny, she ended up not getting the story really cuz she was so freaked. and then she left at like 11 and my parents came home at like 11:30. then i went sleepybyez.
today i woke up at 10 and i went out driving with my dad and my mom. driving is getting a tad easier each time i do it. i cant wait til i can actually really go places. but im scared cuz i dont wanna kill myself. i just took a shower and im dressed all *spring-y* and we're gonna go out to eat and mall soon. i dont know which mall but probly wellington or town center... i feel like town center again but we'll end up going to wellington. this weekend has been so tiring! and its been a danielle-free weekend! i miss that girl. *you are my sunshine, my only sunshine. you make me happy when skies are gray. you'll never know dear, how much i love you. please dont take my sunshine away*
take my hand |
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2003 28 February :: 3.58 pm
:: Mood: exhausted and down
:: Music: usher - "separated"... d/l if ur in the mood for sadness
if love was a bird then i wouldnt have wings... if love was a choir i would never sing
school: it's there. history was.. quick. math was really easy and chill! basically so far chapter 10 is review so the work was simple. bio... sigh. i did bad on my test. it was fucking hard cuz it was impossible to guess the right one! there were only 39 questions. i probly guessed half of them. i was like damn it. i felt like just killing myself. i hate not doing well in school cuz i feel so shitty cuz i know i coulda done more to get reddy for this test but i chose not to. ugh. i HAVE TO ACE the next one. espanol was ok, nothing special. haha ash and adam dancing... freaky.
me: no one noticed i was a little down today cept for greta, vanessa, danielley. my friends love me, and i feel bad for not being interested in their business today but i was just blaah. i dunno wtf is wrong with me. that bio test helped kick me down a lot. and just... argh im frustrated with myself in general. i mean, im getting annoyed by myself. is that possible? well if it is, than that's me. the bus ride home wasnt much better but it was nice that jose wanted to make me feel better =) and listening to jb's logic makes life a little simpler so. and now im sittin at home waitin until i gotta get reddy to go out with and sleepover devon's house. i hope im excited by then.
btw, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO BRIANA [for tomorrow].
2 lost in the moment |
take my hand |
::
2003 27 February :: 4.17 pm
:: Mood: there are no words for how i feel
:: Music: j.timberlake & 50 cent - "cry me a river (remix)"
*i would never break his heart*
so yesterday of course i wasnt online cuz it was a wednesday and mi madre was working all night. yesterday was ok, it was valley's bday! yay! all of my classes were pretty much like doing nothing cept bio where we took a quiz. then on the bus it was ok.
today... hmm. fcat was ok. i like the people in my homeroom. we have valerie, heather, adam, christine, sumeen, josh and other ppl but its pretty entertaining. pe was ok, we didnt dress out. art was so awesome and ya know why? cuz half the class skipped art and it was so quiet and i wish it was a whole two hours like that! cuz i started to refine the shadows on my still life and then the bell rung! i was like ugh! and then english... english was pretty cool. no one was listening to mr.mcmanus, i felt bad for him and i was paying attention to him and he was like "i wish i had more students like you christina" and of course he said that! everyone loves me! lol. but only about three groups presented their project. christie l. and elizabeth h. were giving us food [bacon, bread, berries, watermelon, pie, etc] and it was yummy. jimmy and mason's political cartoons were hella funny.
how i feel right now is hard to describe. i was perfectly fine and happy the WHOLE day til i got to the bus and all of a sudden my mood changed. it was like i was angry or something and i dont know why. greta was really concerned and i could understand why cuz when i'm not feeling happy, i definitely show it cuz i dont babble about stuff i just sit there... and do nothing. i started to go to sleep but i didnt get into deeeep sleep. but im glad im home now, its almost like relief but i dunno what i feel relieved of. *shrug* like every single day of my life, i just need a pick-me-up right now. luan!! where are you? lol.
1 lost in the moment |
take my hand |
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