. JuSt a QuiCk EnTry! .
s0o me and the best ever, miKe, are still together and stronger than ever. <33 it will be 2 years in juNe. i graduate high school in 29 dayys .. FiNALLY!! life is going amazingly and my bestest friend is down from college. my EriN .. loving everything considering all the shit the last 4 months. anywho, i'm going to sleep or i wont wake up for school. <33

. i'm in l0ve with y0u in l0ve with me .
s0o thanksgiving isz c0miing upp. i'm h0me t0dayy cuz i'm sick. i went t0 sch00l but left early. me nd miKe's 5 m0nthsz was yesterdayy. even th0ugh we were b0th siick, we still hadD funn. we rentedD shRek 2 ndD juss cuddledD. my *17th* biirthdayy isz c0miin upp in less than 2 weeksz. i thiink i'm g0iing t0 ask my m0m if i can spendD the niight at miKe's that niight. i thiink she'll sayy yes. s0o thiingsz have benn g00dD latelyy. we havent benn fiightiing t00 much. miKe ndD anDy are relle g00dD friiendsz n0w which isz c00l f0r md ndD riA cuz n0w we alwayysz see each 0ther. s0o besiidesz that i dun reel have t00 much m0re t0 sayy.

edDy has benn calliing me since hiim ndD his gurl br0ke upp but i t0ldD hiim staright upp i have n0 feeliings at all f0r hiim nem0re. it's crazy t0 thiink that less than a year ag0 i was writing my str0ng feeliingsz f0r edDy nd n0w he barelyy ever passesz my miindD. i'm s0o luckyy t0 have miKe .. lyke he isz the best thiing that c0uld've ever happenedD t0 me. newh0, juss hangiin 0ut ndD pr0llyy guna g0 back t0 bedD s00n. xoxo. <33

<33 SiSi

. UPDATE!!! .
0mg, it's benn f0rever siince i wr0te in herre. well, everyythiing has benn g0iin alriight. my leg is back t0 n0rmal nd my j0b isz the same 0ldD shyt. sch00l isz gettiing hardD nd i miss last year m0re than anythiing. last year was the partyy year. didn't give a shyt b0ut gradesz nd 0nlyy went t0 sch00l t0 get fuckedD upp everyy m0rning. i t00k everyythiing f0r grantedD ndD i wasn't h0me EVER. i changedD al0t thru0ut the year. i met a l0t 0f new pe0ple .. awes0me pe0ple at that nd we all became s0o cl0se ndD n0w we have all g0ne 0ur 0wn wayysz nd it suxx. this year, i'm takiing everyythiing seri0uslyy ndD my weekendD s0ber nd wit my b00b00 miKeYy. i l0ve beiing wit hiim but there are tiimesz where i juss wish i c0uldD g0 back t0 th0se amaziing weekendDsz but i cant. s0o me nd miKe are d0iing g00dD cept t0dayy isz the last dayy i g0t t0 see hiim untill next tueSdayy cuz he is 0ut 0f t0wn f0r hisz new j0b. nd he's g0nna be all the wayy in 0RLAND0!!! but i dunn0, it sh0uldD be a g00dD weekendD. me nd eRbeaR are guna be chyllaxiing ndD i'm makiing sum m0neyy 0n satuRdayy cuz i'm w0rkiing 0vertiime. will be a G00D paycheck. newh0, i'm g0ne t0 bedD. niGht . xoxo

<33 SiSi
miKe, i l0ve y0u s0o much ndD imma miss y0u! xoxo

. l0l .. i'M WEiRD .
l0l, i stayedD h0me t0dayy. 0kayy, lemme explaiin wut's wr0ng wit me. yesterdayy, me nd miKe we're watchiing TV at hiisz h0use nd my leg fell asleep. well, that was ar0undD 4pm nd well, my leg hasn't w0ken upp yet nd it's lyke 18 h0ursz later. l0l, i dunn0 wut's wr0ng wit me .. it's numb nd i cant feel s0o i'm g0iin t0 the d0ct0r nd then pr0lly gettiin an ultras0undD dun at my j0b nd then g0iin straight t0 w0rk. newh0, my wh0le weekendD was spent wit my baller babyy, miKe. we went t0 li0n c0untryy safarii 0n satuRdayy. we g0t t0 see 2 li0nsz fuck .. it was the shyt. we g0t int0 a huge fiight thuRsdayy cuz he sw0re 0n 0ur relati0nshiip that he w0uldn't get barsz 0ne niight nd he didD nd it made me feel lyke 0ur relati0nshiip was w0rth nuthiin t0 hiim. s0o wen i pulledD upp at hisz h0use, i c0uldD tell he was fuckedD upp s0o i went t0 get my keyysz nd start my car nd leave but he st0le my keyysz nd w0uldn't giive them back s0o i startedD walkiin d0wn the street ndD i was screamiin at hiim nd made hiim feel lyke shyt basicallyy. then i g0t my keyysz nd left. then i went back cuz he w0uldn't st0p calliin me. went back .. f0ught m0re nd dr0ve 0ff again. he calledD me nd t0ldD me wen i spedD 0ut 0f hiis drivewayy i ran 0ver nautica (( 0ur puppyy )) nd br0ke her 2 back legsz nd he made me feel badD s0o i dr0ve back 0nce again t0 fiindD that the d0gg was perfectlyy fiine nd he juss saidD that t0 get me t0 c0me back nd then he t0ldD me that he'd be heart br0ken wit0ut me nd that he l0vesz me m0re than anyy 0ther gurl he's benn wit. s0o we were fiine after that. it was a big drama fiight but i'm gladD it's 0ver. yesteRdayy, i calledD a t0w truck c0mpanyy f0r miKe s0o he c0uldD get hiis truck fixedD beiing the baller gurlfriendD i am .. haha. he hadda flat tiire but we didnt have a biig en0ught jack t0 liift it upp cuz he has a huge truck .. l0l. we juss hung 0ut nd y0u kn0. l0l, we hadda g00dD weekendD. i l0ve hiim s0o much .. ahh, it's great. later gat0rsz. <33

<33 SiSi

. HURRiCANE iS C0MiNG .
s0o we're gettiin hiit by a hurricane this weekend. all s0uth fl0rida sch00lsz are cl0sedD t0m0rr0w nd fRidayy .. 5 dayy weekendD! but i'm siick asz fuck n0w. it suxx. me nd miKe are d0iin great. he b0ught me fl0wersz last weekendD. l0l, madD ad0rable. i g0t t0 see hiim last niight .. went 0ver there after w0rk. s0o siince i'm 0ff my REG .. we did it. l0l, it was g00dD. went h0me nd w0ke upp relle siick. it suxx .. i have the flu. s0o t0m0rr0w i'm helpiin my rentsz b0ardD upp the h0use f0r the hurricane .. which isz guna ruiin my weekendD. but newh0, that's b0ut all that's g0iin 0n. sch00l's gettiing hardD. i 0rderedD my class riing yesterdayy. nd i b0ught the cutest purse. well, i'm tiredD s0o i thiink imma g0 t0 sleep. xoxo. LATER. ii l0ve miKe <33

<33 SiSi

. y0u are my 0nlyy 0ne .
me nd miKe's 2 m0nthsz was satuRdayy .. it was g00dD. we g0t a m0vie nd juss hung 0ut nd spent l0tsz 0f tiime wit each 0ther. went upp t0 hiLLsb0r0 miLe nd spent sum tiime at the beach then went t0 spRingsz nd came back d0wn nd st0ppedD at the gun range. l0l, he's lyke addictedD t0 gunnsz. we hung 0ut all weekendD. even th0 s0metiimesz we dun relle d0 nethiing but juss hang 0ut hiis h0use, we have s0o much funn. i've never felt s0o c0mf0rtable wit a guyy that i lyke. i feel lyke he's everyythiing f0r me. i cant believe that even f0r a sec0ndD, i wantedD t0 sayy n0 wen he askedD me 0ut. i dunn0 wut made me change my mindD but thank g0d i didD. l0l, yea, all my entriiesz are b0ut hiim .. i kn0w. but he's ALWAYYSZ 0n my miindD. sch00l aiint asz badD asz i th0ught it was guna be. it's all g00dD. newh0, shyt isz the same. n0 drama wit n0 0ne at the m0ment. yAy. 0hh yeaa, nd i hung 0ut wit atHena f0r a lil 0n fRidayy. she isz the shyt. haha <33. that's b0ut it. can't wait till fRidayy .. better c0me upp quick. i'm 0nj my REGG .. uGhh. LATER H0ESZ.

. laSt dayy 0f suMmer .
s0o t0m0rr0w i start sch00l .. yuCk. my fiirst real dayy isz WED. t0m0rr0w isz juss 0rientati0n. newh0, lyfe's benn 0k. i get my car back t0m0rr0w. yeSterdayy was g00dD. went t0 miKe's h0use after i w0ke upp. we washedD 0ur puppyy nautiCa nd cleanedD his r00m. went t0 walmaRt f0r shyt he neededD. my rentsz invitedD uss t0 dinner s0o we b0ught beer at the st0re nd br0ught it 0ver t0 my h0use. ate dinner. we left nd went t0 bl0ckbuSter nd g0t kiLL biLL AGAiN. l0l, nd again we didnt watch it. last niight was A M A Z i N G. it was 0ur first tiime haviin sex nd it felt s0o riight. it was perfect tiiming nd i dun regret it at all. then we fell asleep in each 0ther's armsz nd miKe w0ke upp at 12.5o nd t0ldD me i hadda g0 h0me. s0o i left nd g0t h0me lyke 5 minutesz late but the rentsz didn't n0tice. it felt s0o g00d t0 fall asleep next t0 hiim. we were s0o c0mf0rtable. theyy alwayysz sayy y0u feel cl0ser t0 a pers0n 0nce y0u have sexx wit them nd i felt that wayy wit edDy .. that's why i was s0o attatchedD nd wit j0hn carmich. i th0ught b0ut hiim a l0t. but wit miKe, since we waitedD .. i alreadyy felt s0o cl0se wit hiim. it didnt make uss cl0ser but i feel lyke we care b0ut each 0ther m0re n0w. it was s0o perfect th0. but n0w that summer's 0ver i can 0nlyy see hiim 0n the weekendsz which t0tallyy suxx. but siince my rentsz lyke hiim i h0pe i'll be able t0 see hiim lyke sum niightsz. i saw hiim t0dayy. my daddyy let hiim c0me 0ver bef0re i went t0 w0rk. we talkedD nd cuddledD nd juss layedD in my bedD nd watchedD TV. it felt g00d. then my daddyy left nd the LiL anDy stayyedD at the h0use. s0o me nd miKe did sum babysitting. i c00kedD nd then miKe t00k anDy 0utside t0 playy f00tball nd baseball nd taught anDy h0w t0 swiing a bat. nd then everyy 5 minutesz anDy w0uldD be lyke 'miKe .. c0me here'. l0l it was cute th0. miKe isz s0o g00dD wit kidDsz. we juss g0t 0ver a stupidD fiight cuz he gave thisz kidD my number the 0ther dayy f0r weedD nd n0w the guyy w0nt st0p calliing me nd miKe g0t pissedD cuz he thiinksz that i talk t0 hiim lyke all the tiime which isnt true cuz i'd never d0 nethiing t0 hurt miKe. but we g0t 0ver it. newayysz, g0tta get shyt t0gether f0r t0m0rr0w. xoxo

<33 SiSi

. LiFE SUXX .
i'm such a h0rrible daughter. my m0m's in the 0ther r00m cryiin her eyesz 0ut cuz she dun have en0ugh m0neyy f0r the billsz cuz she put s0o much t0wardsz my car nd n0w .. it's all d0wn the drain. why d0 i have t0 c0nstantlyy disapp0int my parents. i relle feel it w0uldD be better if i juss went awayy f0r awhile. i feel lyke me beiin here hurts my familyy nd i hate it. i hate kn0iin i'm hurtiin them nd feeliin lyke such a failure. why d0 i alwayysz have t0 screw upp everyythiing. it makesz me s0o upset t0 kn0 that i can d0 nuthiin b0ut it either. nd i've benn crazilyy depressedD the last c0uple dayysz 0ver my car. wut the fuck d0 i d0. i juss want my familyy t0 get 0n a g00dD track nd i wana st0p wastiin their m0ney awayy. i hate myself. i d0, i g0 0ut nd have a g00dD tiime while my m0m w0rksz her fuckiin ass 0ff. why d0 i have t0 be such a fuck upp?!

<33 SiSi

. WUT THE FUCK? .
i swear everyythiing fuckiin happensz t0 me?! wen everyythiing seemsz t0 be g0iin great nd everyythiing isz alm0st perfect .. the w0rst happensz. s0o if y0u d0nt kn0 .. i have put alm0st everyy cent 0f all my paychecksz t0wardsz fixiin upp my car nd i was s0o happyy a week ag0 wen i g0t it back wit it's new paiint j0b nd then t0niight .. the wh0le new fr0nt endD getsz T0TALLED. i feel lyke i've benn wastiin my m0neyy nd w0rkiin f0r free. my lyfe sucksz s0o badD. nd t0 make it w0rse n0t 0nlyy d0 i get bytchedD at by my parentsz but by miKe t00 cuz he was madD cuz he thiinksz 0ne 0f these dayysz imma get seri0uslyy hurt. i feel lyke i'm beiin punishedD f0r sumthiing nd i dunn0 wut it isz. lyfe sucksz s0o badD riight n0w nd i dun wanna be here .. i hate it. it's g0nna c0st 0ver $2ooo nd guess h0w much 0f that m0ney i have .. maybe a little 0ver $1oo. s0o in 0ther w0rdsz .. i have n0 car until i can c0me upp wit 2 grandD. hmm .. thats juss great!! fuck it .. fuck it.

<33 SiSi

. ii l0ve y0u .
w0w, i have the greatest b0yfriendD ever. he makesz me feel lyke the luckiest gurl in the w0rldD. he can make me smile wit juss his eyesz. he's amaziing. we never g0 wit 0ne sec0nd 0f silence .. we alwayysz have sumthiing t0 talk ab0ut. we have s0o much funn t0gether t00. lyke we laugh ab0ut everyythiing nd fiightsz juss dun last wen it c0mesz t0 uss. he is 0ne 0f my best friendsz nd he is s0o riight f0r me. i seri0uslyy l0ve hiim. i l0ve hiim a l0t. i dunn0 where the fuck i'd be wit0ut hiim riight n0w .. pr0lly riight back wit edDy. but h0nestlyy, he is the best. lyke last niight, it was s0o incrediblyy stupidD but the greatest feeliing in the w0rldD .. we hadda tickle fiight. nd w0w, we c0uldnt st0p smiling last niight. lyke he's everyythin i ever wantedD nd i cant believe i alm0st saidD n0 wen he askedD me 0ut. i dunn0, i juss feel lyke sumtiimesz i dun deserve hiim. he l0vesz me s0o much nd i l0ve hiim juss as much but he's such a g00dD pers0n nd i'm n0t. i dunn0 but anyy gurl w0uldD be s0o happyy t0 be wit hiim. he treatsz me lyke i'm his wh0le w0rldD nd he c0uldD giive a shyt b0ut nethiing else. i feel s0o l0vedD. i can be myself ar0und nd i dun 0nce thiink b0ut wut he's guna thiink cuz he actsz a f00l juss as i d0 .. l0l. this is great. i dun ever want this feeling t0 leave. i l0ve hiim.

<33 SiSi

-->> he was w0rth waiting f0r nd gettin hurt s0o manyy timesz. he's the shyt. xoxo