Edgar turns me on

:: 2008 15 March :: 1.17pm

ahhh success. I've never been so lively after a night like that but something in me clicked and it took about two seconds from when I opened my eyes to get up and moving. Now I have this whole day ahead of me.

:: 2008 13 March :: 2.01pm

I'm floating down a river
oars freed from their holds long ago

:: 2008 11 March :: 11.58pm
:: Music: metallica

strongbow on tap

it was a lot of fun going out tonight, and we got to see professor eick and stuff. he seriously gets more and more cool every time we hang out with him.

i didn't get anything done today, unless you count cleaning the bathroom floor. hopefully that will alleviate our ant situation.

but yeah. not very productive today. that's alright though. that's why we have tomorrow.

and the day after that...

and the day after that....

holiday

:: 2008 11 March :: 11.19pm

nope not true. just sayin.

oh, and...

i miss everyone!

:: 2008 11 March :: 1.55am

i think i just fell in love with four finger five.

i MUST see them next time they're at founders. which i believe is april 19.

i should go to bed.

but damn. this is the shit. it's just such a solid, soulful groove. right in the pocket. amazing.

:: 2008 9 March :: 11.48pm

so, i've been working on an idea for this scriptwriting project i have, and i think i like it.

i've been getting lots of help from people, but i think that you guys can help too.

basically, i have certain things i want to incorporate in the thing... certain details. but i still need more ideas to kind of fill in the gaps and create tension and conflict and stuff.

what i have so far:

this kid in high school is keeping a journal. shit happens. i plan on taking advantage of discrepancies between the journal and the "reality" of the situation.

but i'm kind of wondering about what kind of shit happens? what stuff is this kid into? who is this kid? what are they like? what are their friends and family like? etc.

this is where you come in. if you have any ideas, especially those related to journaling, since you are my journaling community, please let me know.

these ideas CAN be based on your own personal experience, but don't HAVE to be.

any and all help with this would be greatly appreciated, as i'm already three weeks behind schedule, after going in partway before completely scrapping my first idea.

thanks!

:: 2008 7 March :: 12.50am

kristi
mister jay,

kristi called me tonight. we talked about lots of stuff: me. the frank lloyd wright house that's near her apartment. me. her mom's obsession with american idol. my family. her dad's snoring. my snoring. her snoring. RED WINGS HOCKEY! me. her friend at home, whose name started with a B(ecky?). me. my journal. me. her myspace. me.

needless to say, it was a great conversation.

in other news, i went through all my old looseleaf stuff. it got me thinking about atman a lot. and katie. you know, i used to think he had a thing for her. what's more, i still think he had a thing for her. i'll cite a certain game of "king of the bed" as exhibit A. i know for damn sure he wasn't trying to get me on his bed. i'm pretty sure he was trying to shove me out the window. it was all in good fun, though. then again, maybe he really was just trying to be "king".

anyway, guess who i get to see tomorrow: kristi. and kevin. and probably emily. and maybe some other people. and dad and libby and joe. but still mostly kristi.

THE END.

p.s. this entry is still all about kristi, whether anyone (including her) fully realizes it or not. even the bit about addison and katie is really about her.

:: 2008 6 March :: 3.18pm
:: Mood: nostalgic again
:: Music: lots of it

por kebin
there are more, i'm sure, but this is at least a portion of "kevin" songs within my repertoire:

bnl - crazy. you know why.

311 - champagne. the whole of "from chaos" really. i know i make you listen to that a lot more than you probably want to, but it always means "kevin" to me.

the chemical brothers - block rockin' beats. yessir.

fastball - out of my head. we still need to play this song.

jamiroquai - cosmic girl. cruising in your car, the first time i'd ever heard of jamiroquai. always a good time.

jimi hendrix - voodoo child. Al groth is a god.

john mayer - 3 x 5. pick one of the many times. it's a recurring favorite, and has been for years.

led zeppelin - since i've been lovin' you. this song is the reason i miss your zeppelin phase. i love the hell out of this song.

maroon 5 - secret. from the solar experience days. ah, yes.

pink floyd - the great gig in the sky. didn't you come to laser floyd with us senior year? either way, this song reminds me of you.

sixpence none the richer - puedo escribir. it's obviously not spanish, but that doesn't make it any less kevin for me.

soad - chop suey. this was when i was hanging out with tony putt and ryan gravelle a lot. and james golden, actually. but while you were busy ignoring me with bruce said checkers, i was secretly wishing we were in a band, playing this song. i know, i'm creepy.

weezer - only in dreams. you already called buddy holly. i just really like this song, and again, had imagined someday performing it with you.

weird al - since you've been gone. another recurring favorite.

average white band - pick up the pieces. Dr. Strangeglove. fun times. i still need to see that movie, though.

suggestion:
plain white t's - stop. this whole album reminds me of the sound that you were into back in the day. i only got it recently, so it has no specific attachment to any memories, but the overall sound is enough to hearken back to that era.

p.s. you're so fuckin' gay....

:: 2008 6 March :: 2.36pm

why did they ever cancel this course?

and, more importantly, why was i sifting through the 1998/99 course catalog for audio classes? because i'm what they call "mentally retarded". that, and, apparently the reason i like grand valley is because it is so much like me. at least in the sense that it never throws anything away - even if it is obviously completely useless.

PHY 125 Introduction to the Physics of Music and Sound. Physical, musical, architectural, psychological, and anatomical aspects of sound. Particular emphasis will be placed on the physical basis of music and the acoustical properties of auditoriums. (3-0-0). Three credits.

:: 2008 6 March :: 12.00pm

So... I'm doing my usual re-hash the past thing. Whatev. The point is that between last night and now I've been scanning some of the old songs that I used to listen to alot. We're talking my freshmen/sophmore year. This has been a couple week process but I"m not making a list so I can look at it later when I forget about these songs again, plus maybe you'll see something you remember from way back when and we can have a moment... together!

List of Songs:

Weezer - Say it ain't so ( I thank stewart for this song which started this journey), El Schorcho, Sweater Song, Buddy Holly, etc. It's weezer, just about every song is a "bring back good times" song.

Lost Prophets - Shinobi v. The dragon ninja/ Fake Sound of Progress. Dusty and I used to crank this song alot.

The Get Up Kids - I'll catch you/ Holiday. I totally forgot about this band. summer of 8th grade man... god damn I'm old.

All-American Rejects - Last Song. Wasn't always their biggest fan but I loved this song.

That fucker Chris Carraba - Living in your letters/ Bitter Pill. I know... I know... But there was a time, even if he is a narcassistic asshole who wines till he gets his way. Plus I'd be lying if I said I didn't still like the bitter pill song. I think it's the progression that gets me. Maybe I'm gay, who cares...

311 - Well, you know, just about every song, but if I had to be specific I'd say All Mixed Up/Confusing Use of Time/Purpose. Confusing Use of Time was a song that reminds me of Ski Club, those were the best of times.

Incubus - Anti-Gravity Love Song/ Here in my Room. I still listen to these, of course. But based on the whole vibe I have going, the songs are transcending their usual sounds and providing me with some good emotions. Summer Romance is a dusty standard from a LONG time ago, and here in my room will always be me and Chris, that fag. I love you.

Brand New - I still hate them. Gotcha bitches! And don't you forget it future Kevin. Classic me, really.

Thursday - How Long is the Night. Hilary turned me onto them, and I still like them like I like TBS. Not really fond of their newer stuff though.

Bad Ronald - Let's Begin (Shoot the Shit). Dude... how did I not know what this song was about? I guess I was 15.

311 - Tribute - I know I said 311 already... but I totally fucking forgot about this song, and I was borderline stalker obsessed with this one.

Blink182 - Party Song/Josie. Dusty made his TV pro video to Josie and we did a bunch of "jackass" stuff., and the other one is just fun.I refuse to put any other songs up there, because they hold no super significance to me other than the ones I may have attempted to play in a band.

Rival Schools - My Echo. Another one hilary turned me on to. Good times, you should look it up. here I'll do it for you. http://www.last.fm/music/Rival+Schools/_/My+Echo

FenixTX - Threesome. Lol. I know, I forgot about it too! If I were any older when this song came out it would have been my mantra. Because you both deserve a good time, and any position ;).

Silverchair - The Greatest View/ Emotion Sickness/ Ana's Song / Hell pretty much the entire "Neon Ballroom" album and then some. Probably who I view as one of the most underrated bands ever. THey had hit's sure, but Neon Ballroom is timeless and is some of the most Musically competent "alternative" music ever. Go Aussies.

The Vines - I'm only Sleeping (Cover). I thought it was well done to their style, plus I loved the vines, and God Knows I HATED the Hives... I dont' remember why though. I think it was a song they did I just thought was obnoxious. Who cares...

Taking Back Sunday - Ghost Man on third/ There's no "I" in team/ that whole first album. Very few people I know weren't into them at some point. I did my TV Pro video to Ghost Man, and it came out alright. Remember the Trilogy.

Something Corporate - If you C jordan/ 21 and Invincible. C'mon, we all know if you C jordan. and here I am now, 21 and Invincible.*tear* /wrist

Glassjaw - Worship and Tribute - Thanks Chuck for that one.

Saves the Day - At your funeral/ She

I'm sure there's more, but that's enough for now. Instead of dwelling any further I'm moving towards the future. If there is, however, any songs that you remember that I have not listed that you tie someway to me and you know I'd remember, let me know.

11 overdoses | perscriptions

:: 2008 6 March :: 12.49am
:: Mood: nostalgic
:: Music: pink floyd - the division bell

denham's dentrifice

so, got four cavities filled today. that was fun times.

had an interesting talk with mom. and libby's growing up. it's so weird / cool / frightening all at the same time. i think she'll turn out just fine. but it's really a bizarre experience to watch her going through it. it feels like seven years was such a long time ago. and it was. it just freaks me out knowing (or, not knowing, rather) that i'm going to be someplace unimaginable, doing something i can't even begin to guess at, once another seven rolls by.

and tuesday was mom and bruce's 10th wedding anniversary. we were looking at the wedding pictures. it was crazy. pal's is the same as ever, though. which, in some ways, makes it even more weird.

i really need to get rolling on this homework, before it's too late.

but i love this song.

in other news, my tax returns finally came back, so i can pay rent tomorrow. i was starting to get a little worried. five days is a pretty close call.

:: 2008 3 March :: 9.34am

I suppose today is the day of reckoning, eh gents? Get your guns.

3 overdoses | perscriptions

:: 2008 29 February :: 9.38am

GG guys on the Phantom of the Opera.

You know... everyone was all talkin about how they'd like to bone the girl in the green dress. I don't know... the whole time I'm thinking, I kind of want to have sex with her maid.

:: 2008 28 February :: 3.01pm

I received my letter of acceptance, which means that it's official. I leave september 1 and will not be back until May. Believe me, I was estatic to hear it. The only problem is that now they want me to give them a million things in a week. It's like a really stressful scavenger hunt. Kind of fun, really.

What would you do for a klondike, or two dykes that look Christina Milian like? yeah, I'd be on time for that...

:: 2008 26 February :: 11.34am

Stopped by the bookstore today. Noticed that the girl working the front desk was quite attractive. She really pulls off the hot librarian scheme really well, and in the end comes out looking fairly sincere. "I'd hit it," is the phrase I guess I would use. The way she asked me if I had any Bulldog Dollars, mmm mmm mmm.

Maybe I was so turned on by the $30 I saved by going to that bookstore in the first place. I hate Ferris and their horrible price mark-ups on their books. They want my soul, man.

4 overdoses | perscriptions

:: 2008 22 February :: 9.33am

So I had this dream that I was on a tropical island, drinking a mojito (does that mean I'm gay? oh only if the mojito was wearing loafers) and walking down the beach. Then I saw Bill and Phil with laptops but they wouldn't talk to me. I kept on walking and saw a plethora of old high school friends, but none of them seemed to want to pay any attention to me, so I kept walking. Then there was a John Mayer song playing in the background ( yep, gay), one of the old ones. And then I saw Andrea Groner, and she said Hi. Then I woke up.

You see Andrea, as creepy as I may be, this is inevitable... :P

no more 3x5's Andrea, no more 3x5's...

On a less creepy note, good weekend ahead of me, but first I must get through class today. I managed to get all the homework done for b-law despite the ridiculous requests the professor makes.

I've managed to wash my hands relatively clean though... and it feels good, and is a plus for my mental status. From now on one step at a time, no more trying to change everything at once. Should be interesting, I'll keep you posted.

wish me luck trying to park... fucking Ferris...

8 overdoses | perscriptions

:: 2008 22 February :: 12.45am
:: Music: temple of the dog

i shot ten minutes of b-roll, and twenty minutes of interview today. so, nobody can say i'm slacking off. i have a com midterm tomorrow at two. filming some more b-roll from 3 to 5. not sure what's happening after that. possibly another interview.

saturday morning i have the studio from 8 to 10, so stewart can come in and lay down some phat bass grooves. midday might do some more interview action. and in the evening, kevin requested my company doing god-knows-what.

sunday i planned on doing church, lifting, maybe a movie, and then making up a bunch of shit for that scriptwriting assignment i wrote about last time. i also have an article due monday by two, so that might happen sunday night as well.

it looks pretty when i say it like that. very neat and orderly. everything fits.

however, reality is very very different. reality includes all the stuff i know about but didn't add to the schedule. it also includes all of the unfortunate (and sometimes fortunate) random shit that i'll never see coming, no matter how hard i try.

i don't know which i'd prefer, the reality as it is now, or the reality as it would be if it followed the paper exactly. the paper would be boring, but i feel like i'd be much more productive and much less stressed out. and i wouldn't feel as guilty about forgetting people (since it wouldn't happen) and i would never have to deal with the trauma of "picking favorites" (regardless of whether they're actually favorites, or just necessary damage control).

meh. life treats me well though. far better than i deserve. i just hope to god there's a light at the end of the tunnel. because, it feels like there is, but that it's never going to come. as we all know, light moves faster than i do, so i have zero chance to ever catch up with that shit. none whatsoever.

but i guess i'm supposed to be okay with that.

thanks once again, mr. j. for letting me bitch into you, and for having you not judge me. or even notice me at all, really. i appreciate that sometimes.

:: 2008 18 February :: 8.41pm
:: Mood: whelmed

scriptwriting, and so on.

i'm completely overwhelmed by this assignment. i think it's really cruel to make us go right into writing a full-on script. i have NO ideas. none! i like documentaries, because you can just find something to observe, and then manipulate what you see into something artistic. i like working with small groups of people, where you collaborate and build on each other's ideas. not like this. i'm so small and alone and insignificant and inexperienced. i suck at writing scripts, because - while i am good at writing, at least in certain ways - all of those qualities are things that don't make a damn bit of difference in scriptwriting. i have NEVER done theater, whether writing or performance. my short stories have all been bad - with some good parts in there - but as a whole, bad. and i understand that the point of the class is to get better at it. but i don't see how you're going to get better when you're bogged down and stressed out and completely nonplussed. i mean, i can look at a script, once it's written, and probably pick out some of the things that are good and some of the things that are bad. but in the process of writing it, i'm so lost in the formatting and the coming up with any ideas - anything at all - that i have no attention span left for critical analysis.

i'm just pissed.

calm down chris. you're okay. you're going to the studio tomorrow night, and it will be beautiful. you're done for the day, you only have one class tomorrow. it'll all be just fine. quit being a fucktard, and just enjoy it.

okay?

okay.

:: 2008 17 February :: 8.37pm

the one time i forget to copy my text before i submit, is always the time the whole entry gets deleted.

anyway, kevin:

dad's getting a band together. i want you to come try out. i will get you more information as soon as it's available. even if it's only for the summer, it'd still be fun.

also, i'm going to try applying for my passport this week. wish me luck.