【 Squallet's Sanctuary 】

:: 2007 2 February :: 12.25am

I'm going to be a brother.

:: 2007 1 February :: 11.00pm
:: Mood: restless

Formalism
New Critics
Motif
Realism
Character
Dialogue
Exposition
Image.

Waiting. Tired. Eleven O'Clock. Packing. Dirty Socks. Memoirs of a Drunk.

I hate when people get their futures handed to them on a silver platter, and they piss it away. If only they could know how hard it is sometimes. If only they could realize...

I can't even describe how angry I am. There are people in Cedar that are working at fast food jobs for menial pay that are more intelligent, and have more insight than many people that I've met here.

In my edu 107 class we had to take a survey of our high schools. Cedar Springs ranked as a rural school (on the chart, it was at the bottom). Out of 115 people, two were from a school such as ours, and 100 were from "elite" schools (one notch below private). Most of those kids don't deserve to be there. They're there because their parents can pay for them to. They skip classes and aren't there for the academics. It makes me angry. It makes me angry that so many people from Cedar feel like they can't do anything with their life except work at a minimum wage job and hope for a promotion, or go for vocation training, or, go into the armed forces, when all these little bitches here sleep for most of the day. They don't study, they don't do anything. They complain about writing papers and having to actually participate in classes. Sometimes it's a little much, but I LOVE being here and having intelligent discussions. I love my professors and their dedication to their area of study. I even love having to write papers and work my ass off, because I know that it'll pay off one day. It'll make my life better, and I'll be able to make a difference somehow. But these bitches don't do anything. They 'try' a little so that they won't fail enough to get kicked out, or get bitched at by their parents. How are kids suppose to be encouraged in school to "do their best" and succeed, when there is little hope of them doing anything better than their parents after graduation. What's the incentive? What's the point? Why don't we just put everyone that has enough money to go to college in one school, and then train everyone else that doesn't to be a plumber. That's pretty much what China does. A communist nation is kicking our butt because the privledged are too good to get their head out of their asses, and the poor kids have no hope for anything better. Whatever.

*end rant*

[edit] In retrospect, I've realized that plumbers actually make good money, and therefore, please substitute plumber with another vocation that doesn't make much money...such as a stocker at a grocery store, or a security guard (the ones without guns).

:: 2007 1 February :: 7.16pm

Why does my foundation (make-up) have caffeine in it?

[ponders]

:: 2007 1 February :: 7.10pm
:: Mood: determined

I'm leaving for closed rush in a bit. It's at eight and they told me it would just be an interviewing process. I'm really quite excited.

p.s. I'm coming home this weekend. :)

:: 2007 31 January :: 11.43pm
:: Mood: calm

Failure is only the opportunity to begin again more intelligently. ~Henry Ford

If only you would be a little sensible, this wouldn't be quite so difficult, I think. I'm here when you need me.

3 Wasted Their Money | Spare Some Change?

:: 2007 30 January :: 10.41pm
:: Mood: calm

I'm very content today. I'm not sure exactly why, but I simply feel content.

There are a few directions I could be going very soon. I'm not quite sure which I will take, or even if I will go anywhere.

I don't see the need to separate yourself because of the things you do to relax. Just because I drink and smoke doesn't make me any better or any worse of a person. Just because I don't believe in a Christian God and don't go to church doesn't mean I'm any better or any worse than anyone else. Just because I've wanted to stop living, or just because I've had premarital sex doesn't make me good or bad.

The way I act, the way I present myself, the way I treat other people is what makes me who I am. You can't decide someone's station by a single action. It's the sum of all the parts, and how those parts are interpreted.

I just felt I need to say that, and that's all.

Goodnight.

Michelle

:: 2007 30 January :: 1.41pm
:: Music: dave brubeck - time out

ROAD TRIP!!!
alright, since phil and tracey both expressed an interest, i think it would be a cool idea to get a group going to the intersection for this jazz thing. if i had any money, i'd say we could do dinner or something as well. since i don't have money i won't be doing any such thing, but for those of us who do, it's certainly a possibility.

here's the info (off of sectionlive.com):

Monday, February 5
THE MONDAY JAZZ SERIES
Featuring GROOVE MERCHANT
IN THE FRONT LOUNGE
FREE! 7pm - 9pm.

i'll plug it on my show tomorrow night as well.

and also, i may forget somehow between now and then. hopefully somebody will remind me, so i'm not a total asshole for ditching on my own party.

:: 2007 29 January :: 6.26pm
:: Music: the song on kevin's journal

so, i guess there's a free jazz show at the intersection, monday nights from 7-9. i'm strongly tempted to check it out.

winter camping is this weekend. i'm super-pumped about that.

in other news, it's hella-cold.

:: 2007 28 January :: 11.32pm
:: Mood: amused

My face got windburnt from walking to and from my car.

Poo.

Now I know why Rueben doesn't misspell so much these days, Firefox has spell check and it underlines all the words that it think are misspelled.

I find it annoying, but oh well.

I bought those Kool-Aid things today that are plastic and have the twist off caps. It reminds me of being five. They were only $1.00 for six, and I needed some berry cheer.

I finally went and picked up my driver's license. Now, it's time for a job.

Michelle

:: 2007 26 January :: 2.10pm
:: Mood: cheerful

I'm having such a good day today!!! I woke up and watched some CNN and my hair was still curled from last night, so I did a touch up and it still looks really great. In American Literature, we were discussing Emily Dickinson, and I had a validating, but short, converstation with the professor and another student about how we admire her life and her convictions, but we don't necessarily like her poetry. Then, in Literary Analysis, I shared my response paper and the professor told me that it was the perfect aim of a Formalistic Critic (probably the best in the class, he said), and the only problem was that I didn't include that the message of piece was desirable, or in that case, that I just didn't include an opinion, which, of course is negotiable, but still a good piece of advice. And, when I walked back to the dorms, the ground was a slushy. but my socks didn't get wet!

I find it a little odd that I'm so cheerful, but it's just one of those days where everything is going right! I'm eating with Rueben in fifteen minutes at the RFoC, and then I'm on to finish up my homework for the week. This leaves all weekend to lounging and mayhaps a bit of cleaning (my side of the room is in sore need of some tidying).

Michelle

:: 2007 25 January :: 9.38pm

I went to a social event for Kappa Kappa Psi tonight. It was really great and I'm really excited to join. It's so nice to be with band kids again. Those are the only people you can have debates about legalizing prostitution, abortion, and which star trek series was the best all in the same half an hour.

:: 2007 23 January :: 10.47pm
:: Mood: crazy

I just got back from working out with Rueben. I don't understand why the fitness center is so busy at ten thirty at night. It's the only time that we can go together, but I would go in the middle of the day if I had a choice.

I went to an open rush tonight. I'm going to join Kappa Kappa Si. It's music/band co-ed fraternity that is based in service work for the music, mostly band, organizations. I'm excited. Now the only thing left to do is get a job!

I finally figured out how I'm going to get out of college in four years without killing myself. The answer: Summer classes. I have an appointment Thursday with my academic advisor to see if this is a real possibility. I hope it is.

Time to shower, do some homework (Ugh, EDU 107 video quiz), and got to bed. Tomorrow is my busy day (five classes!).

Michelle

:: 2007 20 January :: 5.42pm

And the sunset was blood red, a beauty stolen from the flesh. It coursed through the sky and splayed out into the clear blue that held it in. Not a cloud in sight to mar the too perfect spectacle.

Considering this sight, the boy wondered. He wondered in the way a new parent marvels at the ten perfectly tiny fingers and the ten perfectly petite toes of her newborn. A wonder of nature created by man.

For the sunset, the beauty of it all, was only a sign of his destruction. One last plea from the sky before it fell to the hand of man. The blood red was merely a product of his modern life.

The boy turned away from the window as the red faded into the horizon, behind the skeleton trees. The realization of the conception of the wonderfilled sight came to him. It was only then that he understood his place in his world. He would honor, celebrate, and even write of scenes of beauty, but with every car ride to the mountains, every piece of plastic discarded, every flip of a light switch, he would silently acknowledge his part in the murder.

In the last rays of the sun, the blood red shone upon him, casting him in his fitting color.

:: 2007 19 January :: 4.10pm

My intro to literary analysis professor proposed a unique idea to my class today. He offered that, at every moment, humans are in one of the five stages of grief. These are onset by loss, and we lose something in every minute that passes in our lives.

Although I have to memorize seventy two words (dealing with literary analysis, such as Accent, Enjambment, and Doggerel) and their definitions in a week and a half, it's still my favorite class this year.

chain-wolf

:: 2007 18 January :: 9.39pm
:: Mood: artistic
:: Music: 36 Crazyfists - I'll Go Until My Heart Stops

All The Pretty Colors
Kind've how I've been feeling as of late... [ Piss off! I love my colored pencils! ]

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting All The Pretty Colors

6 Wasted Their Money | Spare Some Change?

:: 2007 17 January :: 2.14pm

wcks radio show

this semester my show is the same format as always (jazz, with some talk in there).

there is a new addition to the crew, as katie booms is now my co-dj.

also, there is a new time and place. it is wednesday nights, 10 to 11 pm, at http://www.thewhale.org/

if anyone has any questions, just say the word.

:: 2007 14 January :: 2.57am

"I anchor my ship for a little while only,
My messengers continually cruise away or bring their returns to me."

-Walt Whitman "Song Of Myself" from Leaves of Grass

1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 36.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the sentence in your journal along with these instructions.

:: 2007 13 January :: 10.00pm
:: Mood: contemplative

I was just affirmed in my nerdishness of English Literature. I just watched Bridget Jones's Diary for the first time with Liz, and couldn't help but pick out all the similarities between it and Pride and Predjudice. I'm sure upon more viewings, I could recognize even more similarities. To start, the love interest was named Darcy, there was a phase that started the exact same way as the first line of the novel ("It is a truth universally acknowledged..."), and the relationship between the two love interests was very similar (save modern 'amping up') to that of Wickham and Mr. Darcy. It was all quite interesting.

Waiting for my hair to dry, it's taking an awfully long time.

Happy Saturday, Everyone.

:: 2007 12 January :: 2.38pm
:: Mood: good
:: Music: led zeppelin

first week back on the horse. so far it's been a good ride.

i'm taking calculus, media production I, audio production I, speech, and weight training.

calc is cool. it's nice to have math again. too bad my prof is so dry.

media I should be cool, probably my hardest class. but i get to make movies, right. and my professor is pretty cool.

audio I is my favorite class ever. i'm seriously more excited about this class than i have been about anything before. flippin' sweet. and i'm taking it with my advisor, who happens to be my dad's friend from river city. it's totally awesome.

speech is going to be arduous, but my professor is nice. she's seriously a sweetie.

weight lifting is pretty much what you'd expect. again, cool prof.

that's about it.

i've gotten up at about 8:30 every day this week. and i have to get up at 8 tomorrow.

i'm sore, i'm tired, and i'm ready for a nap. but i don't get a nap. that's cool though. i made muffins. muffins fix everything.

:: 2007 12 January :: 12.03am
:: Mood: drunk

The world is spinning around me,
Or is it just my head,
Listening to foreign melodies,
Strangers in my bed.

So sad, so sorry,
You feel so bad for you,
I can't think about it all,
How deep is it through?

Approving all your friends,
Laughing loudly all,
Are we going to be caught,
I'm not responsible for the fall.

Making spontaneous shreeks,
Far into the midnight,
The train goes by,
We turn out the light.