【 Squallet's Sanctuary 】

【 Squallet's Sanctuary 】

:: 2005 24 October :: 2.44pm

midterm grades.

com - A
german - A-
eurociv (hist) - B
eurociv (lit) - B+
GPA: 3.515

all in all... could have been a lot worse. i really need to get on top of my homework stuff. no more puking out mediocre assignments at the last second. except for com. it doesn't matter how crappy those assignments are - they're all pass/fail.

i still need to step it up. or at least maintain. that'd be good.

as long as i keep it at or above a 3.5

8 Wasted Their Money | Spare Some Change?

spud

:: 2005 23 October :: 11.06pm
:: Mood: not bad.
:: Music: ambient circumstances.

sex.

yeah. it's been a pretty good weekend. not sure where it went though. not sure why i feel so tired.

car's still not right. i keep fucking up the timing. i can't get it to fire.
hopefully i'm going to have a guy or two from betten take a look at it with me on wednesday. i felt bad... because i couldn't really pay him. but i'll offer him food or whatever. i said i drew the line at fellatio. but if he gets it running for me, i might just have him whip it out right there on the spot anyway...

i'm joking. you guys realize that right? good.

i don't know why i get the 'gay' rep. it's not constant, but every so often, someone creeps up.

i read an amazing dissertation on oil viscosities. it was seriously incredible. next change i'm going to go to mobil 1 0W-20. and if i can't find 20, i'll take 0W-30. no more of this molasses shit. mhmm.

i have a speech tomorrow. shit fuckers.

time to do dishes. and maybe laundry. no wait. the laundry room closes at 10. nevermind.

8 Wasted Their Money | Spare Some Change?

spud

:: 2005 20 October :: 7.14pm
:: Mood: curious
:: Music: the police - king of pain

Harry Potter
okay. i reread the whole damn thing. all six books.

i'm firmly convinced that Regulus Black took slytherin's locket, the real horcrux.

and i've decided that, although there's evidence supporting both sides of the argument, i would say snape is evil and dumbledore is definitely dead. but really there's no conclusive evidence. and my reasoning is from the perspective of the author.

she (through dumbledore) has said that there are worse things than death, death is nothing to be afraid of, etc. so, really dumbledore's death wouldn't be devastating or tragic. and just the things he does leading up to the incident. i don't think he KNEW what exactly was happening, which clashes with his characteristic omniscience, but he wouldn't lie to harry. he has proven in the past to withhold certain things from harry until such time as harry is ready to hear them, but he's never actually lied to harry, or put on an act like that. and i don't see how it would be beneficial in this instance for him to do so.

and as far as snape goes, he's always been controversial. voldemort and dumbledore are both extremely powerful, and so snape could be lying to one just as likely as to the other. and i suspect that it's in his nature to use people to go places in the world, and he could obviously go farther with voldemort than with dumbledore. and dumbledore has also admitted in the past to making mistakes of judgement, and why would snape be any exception. this isn't verbatim, but he says "being rather cleverer than most men, my mistakes seem to be proportionally huger." snape was just a huge mistake. and there are the magical implications that he died. his spell over harry being instantly broken. his picture in the headmistress's office.

they didn't turn his hat inside out, or break his wand. i have no answer to those arguments. and it may be that fawkes regenerated him or whatever. but it really just seems against rowling's style. i mean. sirius is dead. harry's parents are dead. and yet, they've reappeared in some ways for harry, but never by coming back to life.

i'm sure there are surprises in book 7. surprises up the wazoo. because that's totally her style. i'm sure there's something up with aunt petunia. that may come into play when he goes back to privet drive. and he's going back to Godric's hollow. and he's going back to grimmauld place for sure: he has to retrieve slytherin's locket, once he realizes where it is. and the wedding at the burrow. the hufflepuff horcrux. the gryffindor/ravenclaw horcrux. then the snake and voldemort himself. marvolo's ring was in the gaunt shack. the locket was at the cave. there's gotta be something in little hangleton at the riddle house, i'm sure. surely not at the orphanage? maybe. i don't know. borgin & burke's? nah. there's gotta be more to the story. have to go back to the facts again. write them down.

but i'm sure dumbledore's dead dead dead. and i am equally sure that he hasn't left harry alone. maybe unprotected, yes, but certainly not unaided. there's still aberforth. and maybe slughorn and everyone in the order/hogwarts. yeah! the order! they're all still there. now that dumbledore's gone, they're bound to look to harry. i don't know. i'm starting to confuse myself.

she's got something up her sleeve. i know she does. in the meantime, we'll wait. there's definitely a theme about pushing the boundaries of magic, and how there's a line that sometimes gets crossed. it's gotta be a commentary on the scientific revolution.

if this doesn't have a good ending like lord of the rings did, mark my words, there'll be blood.

12 Wasted Their Money | Spare Some Change?

spud

:: 2005 19 October :: 4.57pm
:: Mood: sehr gut!
:: Music: BnL - Some Fantastic

Deutsch (with translations provided by yours truly)
One of the things you will learn is that Germans aren't so good with making words up on the spot. I'm sure they do it, but not like we English speakers do. And if you're speaking German with an accent, then forget it ... they'll just assume you're an idiot. :) Of course, I probably sounded like an idiot even when I was using the right words.

Ja, das Umlaut. (yeah, the umlaut) Das ist schwer. (that is difficult)Einige Beispiele sind einfach, andere sind unm�glich. (they are simple to play with, and at the same time are impossible. )

� = long "a" sometimes: �rgern = air-gurn
short "e" other times: h�sslich = hess-lich
� = "ur" without the "r"
h�ren = hur-enn is easy because the "r" is already there
(But you need to figure out how to trill the "r" on your
own. I'm terrible at that.)
bl�d = blurd but de-emphasize the "r"
sch�n = schurn, again de-emphasize the "r"
� = A total mess. We just don't have that sound in English.
You need to literally learn to round your lips when you say it.
Try saying EEE-EWWW but with rounded lips on the EWWW (and
don't say it like you're disgusted!). The EEE kinda gets your
mouth going with the voice and the EWWW with the round lips
gets you closer to the final sound. You really will need a
true German speaker to teach you that one. I still don't do
it very well. But learning this one is necessary, it can mean the
difference between hot & humid, and homosexual! Honest!
schw�l = shvuel, kinda like "fuel" = hot & humid
schwul = shvool as in "fool" = gay (I'm not trying to be
politically incorrect and equate gay with fool!)

Genders are something you just need to memorize. But I will say, once you get a good number of them memorized, then you'll be able to get new words right probably 80-90% of the time without looking them up. I can do that.

Some are absolutes, like anything ending in -heit or -keit is always "die" and anything ending in -chen (the diminutive form or a noun) is "das". I'm sure your textbook has the rules. Others aren't absolute, but are damn good guesses. Ending in -e generally makes it "die" and the plural generally adds an "n" on the end. Of course, two extremely common exceptions are Der Name and Der Junge, although the plural still works.

Hey, it's lunchtime. Gotta eat something.

Viel Spa�! (have fun! )

Ryan (which is completely unpronounceable in German!)

*

wow, that really helps. a lot. seriously.

Ich habe viel Arbeit. Ach.

2 Wasted Their Money | Spare Some Change?

spud	:: 2005 18 October :: 11.11pm :: Mood: aufgeschlossen Was spielen Sie gern? Ich bin im das Wohngemeinschaft immer. Ja. Und Ich bin vielleicht teil-Ent. Nein. . . . Ich habe keine F�deren. - i totally just hax-jorbed the plural of feather. go me. Spare Some Change?

spud

:: 2005 18 October :: 7.15pm
:: Mood: contemplative

... as ever.

fun times, i guess.

this damn computer sucks my soul away. and i let it.

i took a nap in the common room this afternoon. that was flippin' sweet. definitely a do-again, as grandpa would say.

i'll just go look at porn now.

Spare Some Change?

spud

:: 2005 17 October :: 10.02pm

home sweet home.

i have to quit doing this shit to myself. gotta start being the college kid i'm really supposed to be.

which means i shouldn't be in here on the compy right now. i should be out in the common room with all the other turbo geeks, trying to do whatever. they're probably playing euchre.

the gig was fucking sweet. i had an awesome time. and everyone seemed to think i was pretty kick ass. i don't see what's so special, but i still enjoy the compliments. it's just hard to not let words like "phenom" get to your head... but it feels good. he had me stand up and take a bow and everything. it was just amazing. i've never really done anything quite like that before. i mean, band yeah, but it's not the same.

anyway.

the contour puked. so i helped dad put in a new alternator and serpentine belt. should be all set to rock and roll for awhile. needs new tires and an alignment, though. that'll be to the sum of like $300, give or take. and after $175 for a new alternator, the tires have been pushed back a bit. i know none of this is coming out of my pocket... but i still really feel for him. and i just know there's nothing i can do.

lifters on the gti probably came in today. i didn't pick them up. i need to order shims yet. this is taking forever. it needs to be done by next friday, so i can go down to kalamazoo. i'm excited about that.

and hopefully this sunday will work out. it really doesn't matter what we do... just as long as we're together.

but i definitely have a couple of things in mind...

ahem.

.
.
.

i'm a very bad influence.

Spare Some Change?

spud

:: 2005 14 October :: 12.39am
:: Music: franz ferdinand - fire

practice went pretty well, i think.

my band aid fell off. it was disgusting. as a matter of fact, i still haven't replaced it. *looks* yep, still disgusting. it just better not get infected. i need my thumb. no sense getting it lopped off. none whatsoever.

i guess i'm picking up the drumset tomorrow. and the new lifters for the car. then hopefully i'll be able to finish the car tomorrow night. that'd be sweet.

color tour on the 30th. don't know if jackie can make it yet or not. i hope she can.

i'm running out of money. i don't want to have to get a job.

and i'm not doing my homework. again. shit fuckers.

Spare Some Change?

spud

:: 2005 13 October :: 12.49am

skiving off of homework...

yeah. so i got the car all apart today. made some good progress. dad did an awesome job on the valve cover with the PCV hose. i think i'm going to run it to a separate breather tank, as soon as i can find a place to mount it. and i'll just put the old filter on the breather. i don't like running it straight to the intake for some reason.

but anyway. the timing belt is off. old valve cover is off. the cam is out. i have the wrong fucking lifters. and i guess the right ones are like $100 more than i had originally budgeted. marvelous. so i don't know what i'm supposed to do about that. and i managed to slice my thumb wide open while i was rerouting some fuel lines. fan-fuck-tastic.

honestly, it's been a good night. there was a lot of great progress. and like i said, dad did an awesome job with the PCV stuff. but my thumb is fubar, the lifters still need to be addressed, and i didn't do squat on my homework.

maybe next time. but all in all, a good night.

9 Wasted Their Money | Spare Some Change?

chain-wolf

:: 2005 12 October :: 5.34pm
:: Music: Android Lust - Amnion

If The Words On a Page Ever Gave A Damn...
Song: Default - One Thing Remains

You ever just want to sit down and just type, or write, or whatever? When you really don't have a reason to do it at all. You've said all there was to say earlier in the day. So what else do you have to talk about? There are always those little things on your mind and all the secret things you'll never admit to or talk about. Things no one should know, and that no one would care to know. Maybe you just want to ramble on about useless things that people will end up not reading once they get to a certain point of intep babble. Ah hell, they could be bored and read your entire pointless rant. I don't know. I guess right at this moment I am putting off finishing up my second project for my Graphics class.

Song: Gorillaz - Kids With Guns

For this project we had to look at some magazine adds of our choice. And then looked at it from a designer or engineers point of view I guess. Like, before they put all the shit on the add they have a layout or something... So, we pretty much turn the text into lines or whatever, images into shapes and concepts. Pretty much ending up with a black and white layout looking thing. Kinda odd to explain without something to look at and say, oh.. that's what y'mean.

Turning his head to monsters... turning his head to fire...
Drinking out. Pascifier. ...... Hm hm hm. Kids with guns.
Easy does it, easy does it........

Woohu.

Song: Ljungblut - Twirl

October is goin' by at a moderate pace. I've got an orthodontist appointment on Monday. I need to talk to the guy about getting my wisdom teeth pulled. I only have three coming in. But I had to pull teeth to get braces. They had to pull a tooth forward too. And now with the wisdom teeth crowding, that tooth is moving backward... I'm a bit freaked out. I lost my retainer.. havn't had it in since Saturday night. I can feel my tooth back further than the others, but still align with the rest thankfully. $110 for a new retainer. A piece of plastic. It's fucking insane. And dumb. Bah. ... And mom is low on money this time of year. $500 to get the oil tank half filled to heat the house. $160 to fix the heater pump so we could heat the house. $120 to fix the washer machine. $110 for my sister's retainer that she also lost 'cause she's a dumb blond. I was drunk and really stoned and don't remember where I put mine. I could've eaten it for all I know. XD .... $1000+ for college for me and Matt, our classes. $210 for art supplies for me for my class. Around $150 a month for food and stuffs. Probably a ton of other crap I can't think of right now, but yeah... But anyway. I feel SO bad about losing my retainer and mom having to pay. Grr... I'll give up Christmas presents for a retainer. I want good teeth.

That moves me onto the subject of holidays. I don't care about them. Lets start from January and move to December! =D

Song: Voltaire - God Thinks

January: New Years. I don't give a damn. Just an excuse to drink a shit ton and pass the fuck out. Woot. Good holiday.
February: Valentines Day. I no longer care. I've left my heart out on the curb and its been stepped on and ran over. I ain't got no valentine, and ain't no one gonna pick me... the holiday just seems so Grade School to me. It's pointless really. You can tell your spouse or girl you love them ANYDAY.
March, April, May, June... Easter is in there somewhere. I don't really want to explain it. It's Easter. It sucks ass. IT's a RETARDED Christian holiday to keep the kids interested. How do you get chocolate bunnies, colored eggs, crucifiction, ressurection and that shitty green plastic tinsel grass in the basket?! Fuck... did Jesus love rabbits or something? I bet he fucked rabbits. Rabbit fucker. DIRTY RABBIT FUCKING JEW. .... Oh, yeah. I hate Jesus. =D Prick!
July: 4th. Another excuse to drink some beer and set off explosives. All at the same time. Another dumb holiday. But whatever. I ain't a patriot. Fireworks... I don't care.
August, September... N/A.
October: Halloween. Ok, who doesn't like this Holiday? I don't care how old you are. You can dress up all fucked up and cool and steal candy from kids! Or just... try and go door to door. I'm short, so.. heh. Rawr.
November: Thanksgiving. Fuck you. What do I have to be thankful for? A retarded holiday I havn't celebrated for about six years now. You eat and eat more. IT's disgusting. And more so, pointless now a'days.
December: Christ.. er.. X-Mas! Last year I started to hate this holiday. This year I really do hate it. I don't like getting gifts from people cause I never have money to buy anyone anything so fuck it. IT's a religious holiday. I don't need to celebrate it. I don't need to waste my money. I can buy a gift for someone at anytime.

Song: Scarling - The Last Day I Was Happy

I asked Ash if I could have my NINJA hoodie back. She said she'd either drop by and give it to me if she had time or just give it to my sister at school. Last night anyway, she said she'd give it to my sis today. Looks like she forgot, 'cause my sis didn't bring it home. Or maybe she did give it to Shaina (my sis).. and maybe my dumb sister didn't bring it home. Heh. I bash on my sis all the time, she's actually pretty cool some of the time. Though, annoying mostly. But whatever. Good at keeping secrets from mom. ^_^

Clicking back and forth from talking to someone I ain't talked to in ages on AOL, to writing .. uh.. whatever the fuck this is. Pointless ramble of crap going on in my life I guess. Rawr.

Song: Gackt - Dispar

Woot. I love this song. =D

In other news; my right pinky knuckle is still bruised from hitting my monitor. I really need to stop hitting at an angle like I do. Ugh. Oh well. My bad I guess. .... Hm. Seems I am running out of shit to type! Oop. The song changed again. Rawr.

Song: Killing Heidi - I Am

And I don't know. 6:20pm. ... I made myself french toast for dinner. Made most of the upper house smokey too 'cause I burnt a couple pieces a bit cause I don't cook french toast often. I'm even worse when it comes to pancakes. Heh. Like... way,way worse. I suck with pancakes. Oh well. ... I got Laurell K. Hamilton's "Incubus Dreams" on paper back a few days ago. I love the Anita Blake series. Probably cause I'm obsessed with werewolves and werecreatures. Woot.

Song: 10 Years - Fault Line

Can't wait till the first few months of 2006. She's writing a book just for one of the other main-ish characters in the Anita storyline, and another book for the series. 'Micah', and 'Danse Macabre' ..... So, yay! ........... God damn I really need to get on my homewor.... er... I have to piss. .... BRB.

Song: Ayumi Hamasaki - Because Of You

And I'm back. Yep, yep. ... I really don't know what else to talk about right now. Maybe I'll just do another one of these long pointless things later on when I know what else I want to babble on about. Maybe get some stuff off my chest? Heh. Not like I'm brooding over anything. Hm. Random chicks from Sandy still trying to hang out with me. Have my home phone numer now, thanks to Matt. Oi ... Whatever. ... Nothing more to say about Ash. Hm. ... Dai's going out with Mary; no real surprise there. Blah, blah, blah. Oh! On the way home from school yesterday when me 'n Matt left early we saw Sarah on the way back into Estacada. She's a cool friend. Said she'd come stay the night Thursday. Well, about eight last night she knocks on the door and I answer it. She's so completely drunk that she can't ride the bus home, so, I let her stay over. Me being a good friend. ^_^ ... I took care of her. She threw up about fourteen times; all in the toilet though, so that's good. I got her water and helped her read shit when she wanted to check her MySpace. Ect, ect. She finally passed out, and that's when I went into my room to start writing the short eight poem compilation 'Chapter 1: Chloroform Revelations' ...

Song: Mad At Gravity - Keroseen

Apparently Adam came over last night, way later it must've been after I went to bed. Him 'n Matt woke me up this morning jumping on my bed at like 9am. Matt holds me up, and Adam stuffs his bong under my face and lights it. What a fucking way to wake up. Had a nice few hits of that. Woke the fuck up. Heh. Everyone went back to bed. At about 10:30am Sarah left to go home. Adam left later for work. His computer still here.. so he probably staying the night again.

Song: Nightwish - Romanticide

Guess that is all for now?

Song: Dark Tranquillity - In Sight

Yeah... that's it.

...

4 Wasted Their Money | Spare Some Change?

chain-wolf

:: 2005 12 October :: 3.39pm
:: Mood: creative
:: Music: Gackt - Dispar

Eight Tiny Stones
I was in an odd mood the other night after winding down from my spout of fury. I sat in my room listening to the album 'Dead Heart In a Dead World' by Nevermore. Good disc.

I started writing. Lyrics/poetry type. I sat there for a couple hours and wrote a few pieces. After that I went to bed.

I woke up this morning and after a while I sat back down to write more and put on Gackt's new album 'Diabolos'. Which in my opinion kicks ass. It's one of his best. Anyway. I continued to write.

I have eight pieces that all seem to flow into each other. Well, sort of. Some I think not at all, but a few seem to. It's a little collection I've titled 'Chapter 1: Chloroform Revelations' ... Titles of the lyrics/poems are as follows... (As if you care.)

[I:] The Decreation Of Self-Remnants
[II:] The Hollow
[III:] The Ephemeral Dream
[IV:] The Laughter
[V:] The Gallery
[VI:] The Collapse and Revision
[VII:] The Second Ignition
[VIII:] The Waking Soul

I need to rework 'The Laughter'... It's kind of unfinished. I wrote part of it badly in my opinion. The words and stuff I used. And once I fix that I'll probably type them up and get them on here somewhere. Probably jot them down over at Fiction Press and Deviant ART. I guess I'll post them in one long/huge journal entry too. So no one has to crawl all over the web in search.

Yeah. With all that said and done...

I'm gone.

Spare Some Change?

spud

:: 2005 11 October :: 10.24pm
:: Mood: holy shit!

i just landed a gig!

wow. cool. i just. man.

in less than an hour i've managed to hear about and accept an offer for my first paying gig.

at a place called Franco's. this saturday night. from 9pm-1am.

everybody come see me!

it's on 36th st. between burlingame and clyde park.

practice is thursday. which means i'm going to need to freak out or something!!!! oh wait, i already am!

AWEXOME CROSS!!!

yeah. i'm giddy like a two-years-old girl. shut it up, you.

7 Wasted Their Money | Spare Some Change?

spud

:: 2005 10 October :: 10.41pm
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: self-propelled oscillating fan device thingy

sometimes i wonder if maybe i'm totally fucking up this car thing. doing it all wrong. i should buy a cheap american car as a beater. sell the red rocket. and then wait until dad has a pole barn where i can build my cheap race car.

i would so totally like to buy evil betty. and a beater. that would be teh sweetness. but i'm not in a position to do either. and i can't help but think i fucked myself. it looked like a winner at the time. i thought i had it all figured out. it seemed to be everything i wanted. i guess now i'll just have to make it what i want.

this is the first time i've ever upgraded a car without HAVING to repair it. i'm just upgrading because i feel like it.

to me that's a dangerously easy way to spend a couple hundred bucks.

this does not look good for homestarrunner.

i wonder if i could get a job at a shop. that seems to be the way to do this cheaply.

Spare Some Change?

chain-wolf

:: 2005 10 October :: 5.25pm
:: Mood: amused
:: Music: Assemblage 23 - Horizon

Picture-Esque.
I took some pictures... you can look at them here...

http://photobucket.com/albums/b124/CerebrusX/

Spare Some Change?

spud

:: 2005 9 October :: 11.12pm
:: Mood: liebevoll...
:: Music: heart - dog and butterfly

and just like that. life is good.

i was really afraid that i'd never be able to listen to heart again without crying.

and honestly, i'm still very close to tears. but that's okay.

i'm just tired of being a screw-up. and asking everyone else to just tolerate me. and they do it. maybe out of pity? nay (yeah, i said "nay". deal with it), out of love; unjustified, though that love may be.

and rachel's cool. she seemed really happy for me. i just hope she can find someone. or at least find peace with being single.

i'm still dirty though. i'll take a shower in the morning. at least 2 of my worlds are meshing. it's a start.

6 Wasted Their Money | Spare Some Change?

spud

:: 2005 9 October :: 6.51pm
:: Mood: contemplative
:: Music: nuffink

growing up (post-divorce), i felt like i lived three different lives. one at school. one at home. and one at dad's.

i'm pretty sure i've graduated to like 7 different lives by now. and they're all constantly clashing with each other. they're not tidily separated like they were in the past.

i would really like to get back down to, oh say... one. that would be fantastic.

*

i got together with jackie. we talked. it was wonderful. but now i'm left with this tremendous guilt. like i don't deserve jackie's forgiveness, and i'm a horrible person for using rachel like i did. and just. messy.

and my homework is not doing itself, either. not that that is unusual.

and i forgot to get fucking groceries. so i'm going to have to remember when i'm out and about tomorrow. SHIT. i just remembered, i also forgot grandma's care package of cookies. which she gave me because i ditched on brunch to be with jackie. which was important. and then i ditched on dinner at kathy's... 'cause. i don't know. i just needed to get away for awhile.

the car has been postponed to next weekend. i get the parts tomorrow. i'm doing the valve cover, valve cover gasket, lifters, timing belt... and maybe the shift lever, if i get the chance to run to that place in cornstalk park. i need a boot and lever. and a dome light. and rear seatbelts.

i guess i could always remove the rear seat entirely, and that would solve the WHOLE problem. yeah. when i get a winter beater.

i'm just so emotionally overwhelmed and exhausted. and i know that it still pales in comparison to what jackie's going through. i'm just too numb to go through it twice. and i never wanted to do that to her. and that's exactly what i fucking did.

i'm supposed to give a persuasive speech tomorrow.

oh dear.

Spare Some Change?

spud

:: 2005 7 October :: 10.34am
:: Mood: ass.
:: Music: the mars volta - "i'm totally freaking out, man!"

wow. i'm really disoriented. and this music isn't helping. oh well. it's still fucking cool.

i guess i'm going to work on the car tonight. hunter invited me to the haunt, but i'm not sure if i'm going to go or not.

it reminds me of a few years ago. the time i went to dee's house for halloween. and i was single, and miserable. considering i've spent the last 3 years un-single, and intermittently miserable, i don't know how to feel now.

i hate being this big of a jerk. but i know it's the only way.

this is what i get for taking romance advice from dorkus.

5 Wasted Their Money | Spare Some Change?

spud

:: 2005 6 October :: 10.23am

okay. well. everything is packed. and i did laundry last night. there's still one little spot, but the majority is gone. it smells good, and it's folded nice and pretty. that's more than i can usually manage.

i'm just really weirded out about the whole thing. but last night was a good talk. didn't really accomplish anything, but it made me feel better.

i just remember sometime back in march asking myself "why?"
and getting the response "why not?"

i couldn't find a good reason not to, so i did. and now we both have several reasons not to, and we're hard pressed to convince ourselves "why".

from that perspective, it seems pretty obvious. it's still really sad though.

Ich habe nicht gut gl�ck mit die Fr�u...

2 Wasted Their Money | Spare Some Change?

spud

:: 2005 5 October :: 5.02pm
:: Music: uno melodic (funk compilation old skool)

dear diary, (mood: apathetic...)

i must be eeemo...

well. i about crapped my pants. i put the stopper back in the throttle linkages, so the butterfly would open sooner. i could NOT possiby start from a dead stop without squawking them in first. until the stop screw fell out.

i have to devise a way to change the setting. i like how it is now for road driving. it's doggier than sin, but it's smooth, with good low-end torque. then when i'm "racing" i can shove some sort of stopper in, then just take it out when i'm done. but first i'll need to be fixing my hood latch. it sucks having to open it with a screwdriver.

"the mating call of the teenage girl"... i need to buy me some techno to blare on my system. and some mid-ranges for the back. i'm thinking some 6-8" woofers or something. i think that would cover what i'm missing. maybe closer to 5" i don't know. we'll see. i'll just try a bunch of different stuff. whatever dad has lying around the trailer.

i don't really want to drive the gti this winter. but i don't want to get a beater either. and i don't have anywhere to store it. fuck. i don't want to HAVE to get a job on top of school.

plus next semester, i'm bumping up to 16 credits and possibly an internship for even more credits. yes. i'm pretty insane, that's for certain.

i think jackie and i are over. but i'm not really sure. she's not saying anything. i guess i'll operate on the assumption that she hates my guts. and then if she doesn't, i'll provide her with ample reason to. which would prove difficult, because i hate being mean. but then again, maybe if i just keep being myself that will be reason enough.

i'm sore from lifting yesterday. and i did a mile on the treadmill. a WHOLE mile! aren't you proud of me? i knew you would be. i need to stay on top of the lifting business. i want to feel huge. not necessarily look huge, but feel huge. and right now i don't.

that's enough for now, i think.

funkalicious.

6 Wasted Their Money | Spare Some Change?

spud	:: 2005 5 October :: 8.42am :: Mood: i'm awake, honest... okay. so maybe it wasn't such a great idea. but that's okay. i had fun, right? shut up, brain. i wanna take a nap. german quiz in T-15. Spare Some Change?