spud
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2014 4 April :: 4.06am
the more things change, the more they stay the same
*greetings from michigan:
my first lengthy stay away from home has come to a close. i haven't touched any alcohol in two weeks. i still don't know what the hell i'm doing with my life. and i already miss tahoe.*
i'm beginning to remember why i really didn't miss having the internet that much.
i don't need to know about your stupid kid, or what you're having for dinner, or the 10 reasons you belong in house baratheon.
i really don't.
the only time i missed it is when there was some silly piece of trivial knowledge that i couldn't remember, or i had to file an important form, or needed to pay a bill.
that's basically it. maybe watch videos, or steal music from somewhere, since i'm online. download shit to make my laptop work when i invariably fuck it up and delete something i wasn't supposed to.
not spend hours poring through meaningless babble about shit that doesn't really matter, in the lives of people who i haven't seen in years, who are only trying to make themselves look as accomplished and successful and happy as they possibly can. apparently it's working, because what started as mild curiosity - purely for the hell of it - proceeded into nostalgia, and eventually progressed to the inevitable "what have i done with my life?!" there are also a few unfortunates thrown in that (i would assume, in the light of those apparent successes) have resorted to more of a cry for help or attention, because they are at least honest about how much life can suck sometimes, combined with buying into everyone else's bullshit.
the sad part is, it is so enticing still. sure, i don't NEED any of this stuff, but why not enjoy some diversions, right? i'll read the entirety of that blog, just because i can. i guess it was marginally entertaining. enriching my life? no. i suppose, if nothing else, it kept me occupied for three hours. and that's something. maybe. i don't know. depends on what your time is worth. and what you choose to spend it on.
time to be more discerning about what it's spent on, rather than finding ways to burn it.
Spare Some Change?
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goodbye
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2014 2 April :: 2.22am
It feels better in the dark, it feels better in the dark
I feel closer to your heart, nothing can come between us
Spare Some Change?
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goodbye
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2014 31 March :: 8.41pm
Great talk with the boy tonight. So happy there <33
Spare Some Change?
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goodbye
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2014 29 March :: 8.54pm
And when the sun shines it will shine the clearer.
Spare Some Change?
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goodbye
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2014 27 March :: 8.27pm
Our bodies fit perfectly intertwined.
Our days spent together are like little special secrets, cupped in my palms, safe and warm and beautiful. When I see you, it feels like looking at the open night skies riddled with stars, lit by the moon reflecting off the treetops, crisp air biting your skin.
There's little I can do to control the heart floating in my chest.
Spare Some Change?
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goodbye
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2014 14 March :: 5.34pm
Qualms.
Spare Some Change?
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goodbye
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2014 13 March :: 3.41pm
Never ever trust anyone.
Spare Some Change?
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m&ms487
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2014 17 February :: 9.27am
:: Mood: pensive
I'm twenty-six and probably buying a house in a few months.
Spare Some Change?
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goodbye
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2014 16 February :: 11.10pm
dissimulation
Spare Some Change?
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goodbye
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2014 5 February :: 8.44pm
I've never been this speechless. I've never had to hold in so much.
Spare Some Change?
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goodbye
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2014 30 January :: 5.04pm
Oh fuck.
Spare Some Change?
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goodbye
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2014 30 January :: 7.25am
I can't be something to you now, I'm just gone.
Spare Some Change?
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goodbye
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2013 1 December :: 10.23pm
Back home. I gotta get a jorb.
Spare Some Change?
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goodbye
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2013 23 November :: 9.26pm
Don't you wish you had enough courage to tell all those assholes you're friends with on Facebook that they're all cunts and you hate everything about them and all the bullshit they post? And you get so close to it when you're drunk and still find that you're a goddamn chickenshit who everyone would be better off not knowing? And that you actually hate everything. Except for your family and true friends? I just want to punch the living shit out of a stranger tonight. I want the purge to be real and I want to be the one to experience someone else's sacrafice. I fucking hate them.
Spare Some Change?
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goodbye
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2013 5 November :: 8.56am
Wake up, stumble to the bathroom, wonder why it's so bright, take my eye mask off, suddenly SNOW.
Spare Some Change?
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goodbye
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2013 28 October :: 12.07pm
"Sometimes you need to step outside, clear your head, and remind yourself of who you are and where you want to be."
Spare Some Change?
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goodbye
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2013 13 October :: 7.13pm
If he was in the same situation, he wouldn't listen to me either.
Sometimes I wish there would just be support from his end and not judgment. I live in constant fear of saying the wrong thing... that it will lead to a disagreement... that I will feel worse by telling him something.
Instead...
Spare Some Change?
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