【 Squallet's Sanctuary 】

:: 2013 5 November :: 8.56am

Wake up, stumble to the bathroom, wonder why it's so bright, take my eye mask off, suddenly SNOW.

:: 2013 28 October :: 12.07pm

"Sometimes you need to step outside, clear your head, and remind yourself of who you are and where you want to be."

:: 2013 13 October :: 7.13pm

If he was in the same situation, he wouldn't listen to me either.

Sometimes I wish there would just be support from his end and not judgment. I live in constant fear of saying the wrong thing... that it will lead to a disagreement... that I will feel worse by telling him something.

Instead...

:: 2013 2 October :: 8.08pm

Until Friday, I wouldn't say I've ever really "made love". I can't describe it in a way that you can understand... it's something you must experience for yourself. It was as if no one else existed in that moment but us. The whole world disappeared... it just melted away... there were only our bodies, our breaths, our love.

It felt like... an explosion of stars.

spud	:: 2013 18 September :: 9.01pm who vs. whom i am guilty of using who instead of whom often, but not inappropriately using whom. i mostly use it when it's following a preposition. but still. do it for the bourbon. do it for the moustaches. Spare Some Change?

:: 2013 16 September :: 9.57pm

Seriously? Fuck them.

m&ms487

:: 2013 15 September :: 8.47pm
:: Music: Man on Fire-Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros

PhDing and teaching. It involves lots of reading. And grading. Eventually, there will be writing. This year marks my 4th academic publication, and 2014 will hold conference presentations 7-9 at major conferences.

I really hope there will be some semblance of a good job at the end of all of this.

:: 2013 10 September :: 11.56am

Ahh, I love schooling idiots on the internet. Feels soooo gooood.

:: 2013 7 September :: 11.52pm

All I want right now are his arms around me as I fall asleep. Is that really too much to ask for? Why can't I just fall asleep on his chest like I used to? Why can't I just get kisses on my nose? Why can't I just be snuggled and loved and adored?

Long distance relationships blow. I feel so lonely. It's overwhelming.

:: 2013 4 September :: 10.50pm

Phillip J. Fry, though you may be stupid and gross, you are perhaps the best partner ever conceived. I wish you weren't a figment of some amazing cartoonist's imagination

:: 2013 3 September :: 8.55pm

We are long overdue for a revolution.

:: 2013 28 August :: 8.32am
:: Mood: <3

The sky looks like a painting this morning. It fills my heart with hope and wonder.

m&ms487

:: 2013 31 July :: 3.18pm

We move to Indiana in five days. I start my PhD in two and a half weeks.

3 Wasted Their Money | Spare Some Change?

spud	:: 2013 9 July :: 9.10pm :: Mood: content Lake Tahoe it's hard to stay mad when you live in paradise. seriously, i love this place. and it is making me a better person in the process. 1 Wasted Their Money \| Spare Some Change?

spud	:: 2013 30 May :: 1.41am kind of glad i don't have to pay attention to hockey anymore this season. kind of disappointed i moved to the pacific time zone when the wings are changing conferences next season. 2 Wasted Their Money \| Spare Some Change?

spud

:: 2013 23 May :: 8.10pm

fucking tots
1 bag of frozen tater tots
1/2 onion diced
3 cloves minced garlic
1 can large black olives, pitted, strained, and diced
2 tbsp. basil pesto
cayenne pepper to taste
1 fuckload (but not too much) butter

lightly saute everything but the tots. veggies should not be completely cooked, just softened.

toss sauteed mixture with frozen tots in large mixing bowl.

evenly distribute in a casserole dish (metal works better than glass). cover with tin foil.

bake for 30 mins at 425. uncover. bake an additional 15 mins (or until desired crustification is achieved)

don't burn your mouth, and devour indiscriminately.

you're welcome.

spud	:: 2013 17 May :: 3.57pm Spare Some Change?

spud	:: 2013 14 May :: 2.37am so i was asked today why i don't have a michigan accent. i'm pretty sure it wasn't intended as a compliment, but i took it as one. 2 Wasted Their Money \| Spare Some Change?

spud

:: 2013 12 May :: 3.35am
:: Mood: fuckin' weird

greetings, from lake tahoe!

welp. we're here. i was pretty excited on the drive out. there was some drama the night we were supposed to get here, which delayed our arrival until yesterday, so we spent the night in reno. it also put me in a less pleasant space than what i probably should be in. but, it was worked out (ish), so i just need to get over it.

then this morning, mom called to tell me that uncle pete died. i wasn't nearly as close to him as bruce was, but it's still a shock. yet another reminder that none of us are here forever, and something rather opposite a boon to my emotional state. there's still so much in the air. i can't stop trying, that will be the end of it. so i will keep trying. because i have to. but it just doesn't have that thrill of adventure that i was hoping for. it's just a constant oscillation between being awestruck by the fact that i'm here (and here is absolutely amazing, by the way), and mortified that i've made a terrible, terrible mistake.

so, it's great that i'm alone and i'm here and it's super neat. and it's awful at the same time.

i don't know. just keep trucking. that's the main thing.

2 Wasted Their Money | Spare Some Change?

spud

:: 2013 26 April :: 12.21am
:: Mood: the usual
:: Music: David Bowie - The Next Day

Auschwitz, this one's for you
i don't even know if you bother to read this shit.

hell, i don't even know you bother to do this shit. so, i obviously am not reading yours. so, no. odds are good you won't be reading this.

but, nonetheless, this comic made me think of you. and i hope it helps. i'm somewhat afraid to encroach upon some of the touchy, weight-related subjects. but this seemed important.

WE have body issues. societal cultures and norms and gender constructs, in addition to inferiority complexes and mental and physical shortcomings and inabilities. but we are all people. and people need to get better at being a society that thrives on support of one another as opposed to condemnation of those that are, well, not us.

(my post about modern medicine and society's struggle with death is closely related, but for a later time.)