You can block comments? Me too.
How do I start this? This is not the first time you have blown me off. I stand by, making sure I do not have plans, for YOU. I make sure I don't leave the house because YOU are supposed to be coming over. Fuck that, I'm done. Everyone knows that it's just common courtesy to call and say "Hey, I can't make it" or at least answer a goddamn phone call. This has happened so much, it's ridiculous. This is the reason you have to fill your life with new voices, memories, and laughs. Because the old ones are sick and tired of your shit. I'm stepping up and finally saying what I have been thinking for quite some time now. No more defending you, No more keeping your secrets, No more pretending I think it's okay that you sleep with a new guy every other week. DONE. I don't care if you don't answer your phone, because I won't be calling anymore. And if you call me, expect the same thing. I'm tired of your bullshit.
Death to the ladies first, then the gentlemen.
Last night, somewhere between my first beer and Casey coughing up blood all over me and Sam, something hit me.
I don't know what, exactly.
I just know that I felt.. hit, like something was staring me in the face and I couldn't single it out.
Every time Adam would make a smart remark, or funny quip, I'd laugh hysterically and lighten up like your typical girl-at-the-party-giving-hair-cuts-to-the-drunks.
And I look around at some of my oldest friends, drinking and laughing and singing around me, and console myself that whatever is trying to get my attention, it will never slip past these people.
My protection; my shields, my bodyguards, my dreamcatchers.
Because, no matter what, they have always been there.
Forget these so-called "besties" that pose for glorified photobooth snapshots.
Forget these amateurs that don't know what "anything" really means, but swear they'd give it readily for me.
I'm tired of them
and their needs
and their secrets
and their voicemails
and their take take take take lifestyles.
I have realized that I have given so much to so many people, who never offer anything in return.
No compassion, or concern, or regard for who I am.
You just want me to give you a ride,
or you need a hair cut, or colour,
someone to ride shotgun for you,
or someone to vent to,
someone to run to the store for you because you can't drive,
or you don't have a car,
because you don't have a job,
but you know you have me.
And that's enough for you.
It's a method called, "You get what you give."
My advice to you would be: expect nothing.
Exactly what you gave.
Exactly what you're made of.
So whats everyone up to for halloween? I have already posted this on myspace but we are having a Michigan Speed halloween bash if anyone would like to come your invited. Should be a great time, we've already made 350 + jello shots and will be making more tomorrow night. If you'd like to come contact me for directions and details. 616-808-7510
Tonight I lack the strength to even move,
When you walked, now watch me die
But I know this is harder for you,
For love has let you down
yeah C'mon
I am not alone
The road ahead is lined with broken dreams,
So walk, yeah walk on by
And I failed to give you everything you need,
For the fears, behind your eyes
When I can’t feel you,
I’m not alright, I’m not alright,
When I can’t feel you,
I’m not alright, I’m not alright
When I can’t feel you
Jesus as you throw me on the rocks,
For love I left your side
'cus I believed in love and beauty’s wiles,
Where heaven shone from your eyes
Chained to your tree
I wanted you to say
I wanted you to say
I wanted to believe
Chained to your tree
I wanted you to say
I wanted you to say
Tell me that it wasn’t all for naught,
It’s such a waste now, It’s such a waste now c’mon
I know your scared but baby don’t you hide,
It’s such a waste,
You'll stand alone now, you'll make it somehow
::
2009 20 October :: 9.45am
:: Mood: content
:: Music: "The Underdog" By: Spoon
Picture yourself in the living room
your pipe and slippers set out for you
I know you think that it ain't too far
But I hear the call of a lifetime ring
felt the need to get up for it
oh you cut out the middleman
get free from the middleman
You got no time for the messenger,
got no regard for the thing that you don't understand,
you got no fear of the underdog,
that's why you will not survive!
I wanna forget how convention fits
but can I get out from under it?
Can I gut it out of me?
It can't all be wedding cake
It can't all be boiled away
I try but I can't let go of it
Can't let go of it,
Cause you don't talk to the water boy
and there's so much you could learn but you don't want to know,
You will not back up an inch ever,
that's why you will not survive,
The thing that I tell you now
It may not go over well
And it may not be photo-op
in the way that I spell it out
But you won't hear from the messenger,
don't wanna know bout something that you don't understand,
You got no fear of the underdog,
that's why you will not survive!
Finally the hills are without eyes
They are tired of painting a dead man`s face red
With their own blood
They used to love having so much to lose
Blink your eyes just once and see everything in ruins
Did you ever hear what I told you
Did you ever read what I wrote you
Did you ever listen to what we played
Did you ever let in what the world said
Did we get this far just to feel your hate
Did we play to become only pawns in the game
How blind can you be, don`t you see
You chose the long road but we`ll be waiting
Bye bye beautiful
Jacob`s ghost for the girl in white
Blindfold for the blind
Dead siblings walking the dying earth
Noose around a choking heart
Eternity torn apart
Slow toll now the funeral bells
”I need to die to feel alive”
Did you ever hear what I told you
Did you ever read what I wrote you
Did you ever listen to what we played
Did you ever let in what the world said
Did we get this far just to feel your hate
Did we play to become only pawns in the game
How blind can you be, don`t you see
You chose the long road but we`ll be waiting
Bye bye beautiful
It`s not the tree that forsakes the flower
But the flower that forsakes the tree
Someday I`ll learn to love these scars
Still fresh from the red-hot blade of your words
...How blind can you be, don`t you see...
...that the gambler lost all he does not have...
Did you ever hear what I told you
Did you ever read what I wrote you
Did you ever listen to what we played
Did you ever let in what the world said
Did we get this far just to feel your hate
Did we play to become only pawns in the game
How blind can you be, don`t you see
You chose the long road but we`ll be waiting