Fweeeah
Gah low self esteem...not much fun. I really don't have a very high self esteem about my body. I act like i do, but I really don't. I hate the wa I look. Trying on clothes doesnt make it any better. Sometimes it's nice to try on clothes other times it's crap like today I did not enjoy it today. Meh I'm gonna go watch movies to take my mind off things.

-Chasmin-

Blah blah
Well yesterday after I came home I did exactly what I said I was going to do. I went to sleep, I didn't wake up till about 9:30 last night and all I did was put the rubber bands in my mouth for my braces...then I went to sleep again. I slept the night away and I woke up at around 8:30am and now I feel rested this is exactly the thing I have been wanting. I needed all that sleep, now I feel refreshed. I think I am going to wear my dress today my pretty one that none of you have seen yet. You will soon enough. Well gotta go take a shower. Toodles.

-Chasmin-

Single face satin..
OMG I JUST WANT TO SLEEP SO BADLY.....IT'S ALL I WANT...WHY CAN'T I BE GRANTED THAT SIMPLE WISH....JUST STAY HOME AND SLEEP....RRGGG....

-Chasmin-

Supper time!!!!
Well tonight was the first show of Charlie Brown and oh my god it was fantastic, we pulled the whole show together and did it. It was way better then Life with Mother Superior, and more fun. You know what Costanzo really isn't that bad of a person. At first yah we were all against him cause we wanted Mr.Copolla back, but really he's pretty good. Once you get closer to him he's really nice and funny. Of course he has his moments where you wanna kill him but everyone does. I think Bradley is very immature for the way he is acting about this whole situation with drama, he won't even join cause of Costanzo. I mean if you really love something you will stick to it no matter how bad it is. This is my life the acting and singing and I love every minute of it. Theres nothing else in the world I would rather do. The rush of making people happy and smile, and thinking that I made their life sorta good for the moment...is like the greateset feeling. Sorta makes you feel important. Brandon did awsome tonight he has really come a long way and I'm proudidid. Lorelei of course was amazing she's the best and cutest Snoopy I love that girl. Everyone in the cast was great. Linus my lil' bro you pulled it off and you were great. God I'm just so happy that everything went so well. Everyone liked it, and thats all that matters. I can't wait for tomorrow night. Now to end with. "Do you see this hydrant, it's called a hydrant"-stupid Chasmin moments in drama.

-Chasmin-

5 different crayons
Today was a good day, drama practice went really well. I think were going to do fabulous in the show tomorrow. Ryan looked really sexy today, I liked his outfit and everything and I was watching him walk away after school and it was like I was seeing him for the first time and I was swooning over him..more then usual. I love that kid, even though I mess with other guys not like flirting but like I don't know it's like I love Ryan no matter what. I have no feelings towards any other opposite sex...it's just like him and only him. Ooo Whale Rider is on and thats a kick ass movie so I'm gonna just have to end this right now.

-Chasmin-

Isn't that good strategy
Eee I love Ryan, it's so cute how he sticks up for me....even when he is about to do something bad. Even though I thought bad things during this past week I really do love him, and i'm delighted to be with him even though i rarely get to hang out with him.

Toucha toucha toucha touch me I wanna be dirrrty
Hehe tonight was Kachinas 18th birthday party, and it was so cool. The theme was Rock Horror Picutre Show. I dressed up as Magenta, and it was fun. I would tell you more about the party but...I can't. Everything that happened there stays there, so yah funess.

-Chasmin-

Rose scented inscence
Well today was a much better day, Ryan and I talked and everything is understood and okay now. My mom is not being a bitch anymore, though I'm not too happy with my spanish teacher, everything was pretty normal. Today after school some of the cast from Charlie Brown painted the set and it looks all purdy. I found out that State is in about 2 wks and I think Steven is going to be my pianist which is pretty cool. He is an amazing piano player like omg good. I hope I do well at state. I'm going to see if Ryan will come with me to the drama banquet....I'm going to ask tonight who knows. Ok I asked him and he said yah so yayness that makes me all happy. I'm watching this good romance movie which is sorta like a romance book but...movie. I think I am going to get back to it.

-Chasmin-

Ooo shiny lava lamp
Wow I look like crap this morning. My eyes are all puffy and icky from crying so much last night...it's sad I have to yell at myself to stop crying or I can't. My mom came in last night telling me that Fran said she was too hard on me...I don't know but then she took back everything she said...but then the way she said it made me feel worse. Then after I fell asleep (which felt like I had slept for hrs) I guess I had only been sleeping for about 10mins or so. Well she comes in and sits on my bed and talks to me. I only remember bits and pieces of what she said, cause I was sorta half asleep. She was saying how my brother lost his job his like head position at the recruiting office because it was too much for him. Well that really sucks for him. I guess it's like brother like sister. Well everything my mom said had a point to it, but I was still too sleepy to pay much attention plus it was really hot. Well I have to finish getting ready for school. I think I have to say that yesterday was one of the worst day's of my life...

-Chasmin-

Who could ask for anything more?
God right now I just want to break down and cry. First the thing with Ryan, now my mom is all pissed off because my spanish teacher called (even though she called everyone) FUCK I want to just go to sleep and cry right now and thats what I'm going to do.

-Chasmin-