This is your life, is it everything you wish it would be?

2 New hotness | Old and busted

:: 2005 4 May :: 9.11pm
:: Mood: ecstatic

whoaaaa.. best night EVER!!

:: 2005 3 May :: 10.11am
:: Mood: cold

I'm cold.. and I look like crap. Buuuut anyways.

Jim and I are going to Kennywood after prom. I got my dress, Becky and I went to get ours together.. mine is dark blue.. I'll put a picture of it up sometime next week.

Kelly and I have been going to Drivers Theory everyday from 5-8:30.. it's so boring sometimes, but we always end up ordering pizza or eating something. So that's cool. It's a small class- which is good because I hate big classes.

Jim and I? I don't know what to do.. we're so good together, but I can't ignore that I like someone else. Should I ignore the feelings and just get back with Jim? I mean, he's trying so hard to do everything that I want him to.. I wish I knew what to do.

Gabrielle is 7 months already.. I'll have to put up a picture of her when I put up a picture of my dress. She's getting so big.

Sunday=Mothers Day!!! It's my first Mothers Day! Awww.

I'm so bored right now, Becky told me to update because I never do anymore.. I'm so busy. Weekends I try to please everyone and go out with friends, with this one guy, Jim, my Aunt Loraine and it's hard. Weekdays I'm busy with school, then going to Drivers Theory.. I hardly get to see Gabrielle anymore.

I don't know whether or not to send Darlene (my "mom") a Mothers Day card.

:: 2005 3 May :: 9.35am
:: Mood: celebratory
:: Music: Some weird play school song

Birthing day
So...its my birthday today. Its gotta be a first that Im actually in the mood for it hmm? My father bought me a scratchie (I won 5 bucks! Of which I shall buy another scratchie with and put away 2 lol) but the rest of my "present" is to come on Friday....I wonder what it could be...and thats not sarcasm either....its either money or hopefully JTHM!! Either would be fan freakin tastic. Anyhow, Im off to celebrate with a bacon and egg mc muffin and a round of mini golf, hoorah!

:: 2005 1 May :: 10.50am
:: Mood: predatory
:: Music: REM

Scary bitches that climb well wall's in freaky positions
Ring 2, had three best parts: Scary bitch Samara (the dead girl the story kind of revolves around) climing up the side of a well like a fucking spider, I swear, bodies are not meant to bend that way.

Secondly, the whole bath tub scene where water is falling up to the roof and its in droplets and spirals everywhere. (Amazing graphics guys, round of applause)

Thirdly, Crispy M & M's and the company of loz. Naw just kidding, though they would easily be first *chuckles* Aedin's performance, the kid actually acted this time ties with the scary bitch antelope that completely messed up that ladies car.

So yes, I did go see Ring 2. Yes it was pretty good. It had its ups and downs and it was a little jumpy (Jump around not scary (However Loz did nearly shit herself at the start) but all in all pretty good. Crispy M & M's are now my favourite M and M, and theatre coke isn't actually all that bad.

Also, I stopped being into playstation a while ago, about 2 years. After that only played it occasionally, never thought I was a fan of war games either, but recently found a game called Conflict: Desert Storm. Which is really well designed over all and Play boy: Mansion which is hilarious in terms of what you can do (Taking topless photos for cover shoots and centre folds and asking stars, celebrities, published play mates and porn stars for interviews and essays) But it just got me back into the mind set that I really....really want to design and sell games.

I also showed my ideas for my business to Lauren, she said the location around here isnt good enough for good business, which Im sure is true in some locations...but on a MAIN highway just out of sale...we cant do that badly...Im still very interested in this and how it will turn out....

Anyhow, Im off before my computer decides to have a hissy fit, throw a tantrum and delete all this info. Take care all. And ChaosDecrepit (Im sure I spelt that wrong) You need to send me your story, you WERE online but you went to bed :-P.

Take care all.
Matt/Fade

P.S Off of Ring 2: Aedin (pronounced Ay-e-din), Samara and Evelyn are cool names....also Gideon is a cool name. Afternoon all.

*Update* Just looked at the date and its my birthday in two days. Yay for me. :-)

**SECOND UPDATE** Sorry guys, lol just remembered a moment last night in the movie theatre, I had my hand on Loz's wrist and my hand was around my neck sort of propping my head up...and I could feel my pulse and her's at the same time...You know where this is going....They were beating at the EXACT same time...same rythym and timing and everything...I just sat there going...Awww lol. Yeah yeah Im emotionally retarded. Later all.

2 New hotness | Old and busted

:: 2005 29 April :: 10.23am
:: Mood: gloomy
:: Music: papa roach - done with you

I count the days that we have spent apart
I've got a bad liver and a broken heart
Theres no salvation in the comfort of you
I finally realized your tearing me apart

So help me, save me, tell me that the end is near
Help me, save me, tell me that the end is near
I am done with you

You make my life completely miserable
You drove me to the edge,
you've caused me all this pain
But I've always loved you
cause your oh so special
I'm broken and I'm alone and I can't maintain

:: 2005 29 April :: 10.18am
:: Music: Manson-Disposable Teens

Clean clean everywhere, whats a little litter?
Hey people,
Well, for once, no complaints. Yesterday was...decent...and somewhat good. I think Matt's getting used to the idea that I dont have to be in the same room as him when he comes over and visits when Loz is already over. Last night I had no complaints as to my being "Anti-social". I mean he does come over knowing that Loz is gonna be there, and knowing that whenever she is were in my room. It's just our thing, we like our privacy. If we wanted to share what we do we'd walk down the street.

Anyhow, should be a movie tommorow, Ring 2. Should be going with Nicola, Sarah and Loz. And...I just realised I have to go so dad can copy the grudge for me....Loz wanted to see that. Ah well, if its not The grudge, she'll have to deal with You Got Served, theres some awesome dance moves in that movie, and Im not normally a fan of dancing.
Take care all.

P.S Annoying isnt it? The day with no complaints is the shortest entry. lol

Old and busted

:: 2005 27 April :: 4.44pm
:: Mood: annoyed
:: Music: AFI

Lifes little piss off's
Today...hmm Im not quite sure what you might label today as. The day was an utter bore, until annoyances set in. First off, the fourty dollars yesterday that I "Miraculously" found in my account? It was my entire centre link payment for the next two weeks. I received a letter today "Your centrelink payment has been suspended" Im like...Ohhhh the fuck it has. So I go in there, and they say they sent me a letter. Im sitting there just thinking: *Cough* Bullshit you did *cough* But of course I kept my manners and did not *rolls eyes* Then I find out that my foolish fucking school has sent them a letter saying Im in year ELEVEN. *shakes his head* This is how goverment institutions are run. By fools. Then they took ten minutes to find someone to say to me (However he was nice and seemed genuine) "Look mate, we dont need verification or proof of your enrolment just call up and find out if your full time" Im just sitting there thinking...And this lady couldn't tell me that because...? So now I urgently need to get in touch with DECV and get them to tell me whether or not Im a full time student. Fan-Fucking-Tastic.

Merh, hopefully from here the day can do little but improve. Ah and also, had lauren telling me last night that we wouldnt be doing anything today because of her homework, turns out it was because Sarah was coming over...Seriousley, can anyone tell me the need to lie about something that small? Honestly? Why couldn't she just say... Oh no, Sarah's just coming over so we cant do anything. *rolls eyes* Seem to anyone else like the phrase compulsive liar is going to turn up?

We are, regardless, going to see a movie tonight. Interpreter. Oh, *chuckles* Sorry, I know I refer to her too much, but another little annoyance. I asked her today whether we'll go see Amytyville horror, and she says "Oh Im going to see that with Sarah" And I just sat there stunned and thought...Right...and we organised to go how long ago? But I let it go and all I said was "Well am I going to come or...?"

*shakes head* Sometimes...its not worth the effort...but then sometimes...the good times make that comment so obsolete. Love is terrible no?

Did have a great night last night however. Not to mention my birthday comes in rather less or in exactly one week. Im hoping to receive "Johnny the homicidal maniac" and some money.

Also lately, Ive been looking into business idea's. I want to start up a laser skirmish in my area, I think the revenue would turn out ok, its on a main highway that you generally have to go on to get to Eden or NSW from melbourne or to get to lakes entrance. Im hoping to get some figures by calling up other skirmish places and pretending im a school student doing a project.

Also looking into finding another job, Ive been notified of a full time position with workways, and a 12 hour a week position with a fruit and vegetable shop...which honestly would be fantastic....it'd turn out to be about 120 dollars a week...thus 240 dollars every fortnight, the maximum I can earn is 260...so quite honestly it would be a fantastic oppurtunity for only 12 hours a week...extra cash.

Anyhow...Im off all, enjoy this entry eh?
Fade/Matt

:: 2005 26 April :: 10.13am
:: Mood: dorky

I have the worst cramps.

Old and busted

4 New hotness | Old and busted

:: 2005 23 April :: 10.25pm
:: Mood: depressed

Okay, sorry about the last entry, I was just upset. I'm okay now? But anyway..

Jim came to pick me up at Beckys and we talked. We're still just friends, and we're both okay with that. But he does have a date tomorrow with some girl. I'm happy for him.. He was like "Jena, I do still love you. You know if anyone hurt you, I'd kill them." then he paused and said "But I know someone already hurt you by the way you're acting." Haha, it was cute. We went to Sheetz around 7:00 to get some gas, then we went out to the mall. I got a whole bunch of cute things and spent all my Kennywood money since I don't think I'm going anymore.

Yeah, I love you Becky and Amy.. thanks for being there for me. I know I let things get to me more than I should. But I'm okay now. :-P Love you girls..

:: 2005 23 April :: 4.31pm
:: Mood: disappointed

Well this weekend sucked, I stayed over Amys.. Things happened, Jim 'found someone'. I suck, I'm over Beckys house right now.

So fuck you, and you and you. And just leave me alone.

k thanks!

4 New hotness | Old and busted

:: 2005 22 April :: 10.28pm

Ill paste a conversation I had so you understand. Sorry for being short but im really pissed off.

shirt says:
K...she organised to come over...stay till 9....we get to my house at 7:15 and she gets a call at 7:25 its her dad, he says were picking you up at 10:30, she says thats too late, he says well you can come home now, she says fair enough and does because she needs to do HOMEWORK and wants to watch not another teen movie. I was pissed cos she had organised to stay then changed plans

F�d��w奷�� The truth is that u could slit my throat and with my one last gasping breath Id apologize for bleeding on ur shirt says:
THEN

F�d��w奷�� The truth is that u could slit my throat and with my one last gasping breath Id apologize for bleeding on ur shirt says:
Her friends turn up looking for her, cant find her and go to her house, she goes out with them. I didnt know this and had to call and talk to her dad to find out. She lied about the homework and the show and basically put me at the BOTTOM of her priority list...shes full of fucking shit. She said she NEEDED to get homework done and then WENT OUT anyway....then she fed me some bullshit about

F�d��w奷�� The truth is that u could slit my throat and with my one last gasping breath Id apologize for bleeding on ur shirt says:
"I need alone time and time to contemplate" and I said "Well FUCKING NEWSFLASH lauren, your with your god damn friends"

F�d��w奷�� The truth is that u could slit my throat and with my one last gasping breath Id apologize for bleeding on ur shirt says:
Then she goes "I think maybe we need to hang up" And I said, yeah, and you LOVE me right? Bullshit. Then said "Look, im not talking to you about breaking up on the phone, I think its gutless, come over tommorow and we'll talk about it"

F�d��w奷�� The truth is that u could slit my throat and with my one last gasping breath Id apologize for bleeding on ur shirt says:
break up

F�d��w奷�� The truth is that u could slit my throat and with my one last gasping breath Id apologize for bleeding on ur shirt says:
not hang up

2 New hotness | Old and busted

:: 2005 21 April :: 9.14pm
:: Mood: sad

School was okay, I brought in the 2 big bag of starbursts for study hall.. we had that ice cream party today for 7 & 8 period.. I walked around half the time. 'Cuz I'm a loser like that.. then after school I had to go with my Aunt Loraine to take care of somethings.. we stoped at Toys R Us, and we bought Gabrielle some clothes.

I came home and left again, Amy and I went up to Carmel Park to see George.. we hung out.

Then we dropped Amy back off at her house then I stopped at McDonalds then came home. Now here I am.

4 New hotness | Old and busted

:: 2005 20 April :: 10.23am
:: Mood: sad

Blahhh.. nothing's going right. I suck, I'm a loser. No wonder why no one likes me, and I have no friends. Ha.

:: 2005 19 April :: 5.16pm
:: Mood: blah

Ahhh Mr. Malecki is finially back so we can actually talk again in study hall.. YESSSSSSSSsssssSSSSSSS

Today was good.

I don't really have anything else to say.

Old and busted

:: 2005 18 April :: 9.03pm

TODAY- Amy, Becky, Kelly, Jake and I went to the baseball game. I went to see my best friend George play. He's the coooooooooolest guy I know.

It was a good time. ;)