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2003 24 June :: 11.39 am
:: Mood: cheerful
:: Music: Vogue by Madonna
I'm going to the beach today with Bradley and Jessica Stewart. I went to the doller store and bought an inflatable football for hte beach! Its pretty nifty! Yeah, anyways I'm at my moms work until Stew comes here to get me. Its kinda boring and stuff but oh well. I'm going to grand haven for the 4th with my cousin and her boyfriend. Its going to be awesome! Yeah, well i'm going to get going. I have to get ready! Buh byez
Julie
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2003 23 June :: 9.40 pm
| julieslow | | Magic Number | 18 | | Job | Computer Nerd | | Personality | A Worrier, I Worry That I Worry Too Much | | Temperament | All Bark, No Bite | | Sexual | Straight | | Likely To Win | The World Cup | | Me - In A Word | Whirlwind | | Colour | | | Brought to you by MemeJack |
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2003 23 June :: 5.48 pm
:: Mood: good
OKay
this weekend was weird! My stepmom is like due anyday and I'm sooooo nervous! I'm going to be a sister!! WOOHU! Well a BIG sister seeing that he will be 16 years younger than me. Other than that, the guy that lives next to my dad, Mike is very hot. We have this thing starting to where I will go outside and then like 2 minutes later he will come outside and then he will just sitting on his car talking on his celly until i go in to the house. Its funny. His parents came out the other day and were like what are you doing and then they looked in my direction and were like OHHH i get it! It was great! Yeah, i worked today and the ni came home and layed out in the sun for about an hour and that felt good. Hey i'm looking for someone to go to Michigans Adventures with me on Saturday. Its going to be me, my aunt nad my cousins. It will be lots of fun and stuff. Anyways, I'm thinking about going to grand haven for the 4th. If anyone wants to come along they are more than welcome. Just tell me ahead of time. Like Brad, if you want to come you can, seeing that you dont have anywhere to go. Well, oh yeah i went to gunny and Robby's open houses. They were fun. Anyways, I'm going to go! I'll talk to you all later. Buh byez~
Julie Slow
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2003 19 June :: 11.57 pm
:: Mood: artistic
:: Music: Stupid Girl- Cold
~Untitled~
The water is where I'm meant to be,
with the sand, the sun and the sea.
I long to be there,
alone without a care.
i am able to collect my thoughts,
the things that get me through the day.
I think of my faults,
which in the end i throw away.
Why am I so lost?
is it just how I am?
or am i paying the price,
for not giving a damn?
This is why I come to the beach,
to let go to the feelings inside.
From there I can reach,
because there is nothing to hide.
The sunset is a brillant painting,
of the most viberant colors.
i feel myself fainting,
in the pain of the others.
Intaking the fresh air,
calms the soul.
Releasing the wear and tear
of what the day unfolds.
I'm not quite done with it yet but I will finish soon. I'm learning some things finally. Its just gonna take some time to let it all sink in. Patieces is a virtue...
Jules
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2003 18 June :: 9.01 pm
:: Mood: amused
:: Music: the used- taste of ink
He deserves her... I'm moving on for good, and I hope he wasnt thinking about trying to work things out because trust me, it aint gonna happen. i deserve someone that is going to respect my feelings and someone who isnt hung up on his ex. GGGRRRRRRR..... okay i'm done talking about that. Anyways, i'm finally dinkin with my guitar. Its quite fun except that my fingers hurt really bad. I saw this wicked guitar strap at Guitar Center. I'm gonna get it. Its blue velvet with this funky design. Its steller! I love that word! That is my word, no one can take it from me! Yeah, i think i'm going to write some music now.
Jules
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2003 17 June :: 10.20 pm
:: Mood: blah
Okay, today was okay. I hate my job at the golf course. Its boring and most of the time I have nothing to do! I hate it. I want to be on the move. GRRRRR... Anyways, I rented Just Married tonight and watched it. It was a good movie! I thought it was funny! Yeah, I have to work at 6:30am on Thursday! That bull! Anywho, I havent talked to many people. I've talked to Jay, Brad, and Megan and thats it. I did talk to Nickie one day back then! Yeah anyways, I'm talking about nothing in praticular. I must be tired or something, I dont know! I think its going to be another late night. Well, folks, I'm out!
Jules
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2003 16 June :: 9.47 pm
:: Mood: content
I'm done! I'm not giving up but I'm just not going to keep trying because all it does is make him want her even more. He doesnt realize that I'm not going to wait around while he fingers another girl! OOPS.. did I say that out loud?!! My bad! Anyways, I still ahve a thing for someone and I would like to see what happens with that. I never know, nothing may happen but then again maybe something will. I dont know, time will tell. ANyways, I'm soooo tired, late night last night... Yeah well, I"m leaving! I'll talk to you all later.
Julie Slow*
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2003 14 June :: 1.35 pm
:: Mood: Mixed emotions
t-bone
I'm laying it all on the line right now! I wnat Tony and I will go to any measure to get what I want. And if that means having to get in the way of him and Erica well then so be it! I'm sick of being lied to and walked on, so I'm going to show them that I have what it takes to be with him. GRRRR..... I know that I'm not supposed to be all pissy nad I'm supposed to let it take time and shit but you know what ... I've been waiting for Tony for about 8 months now. When BSC played at the Bean for the first time I told Tony that i liked him and he said well when Erica nad I break up I'll tell you and we'll see where things go. So if school starts up and he doesnt want to try things well then he just might as well say goodbye to our friendship as well. But maybe I'm just sayingthis cuz I'm pissed or something I dont know. But I will say that when you break up with someone you shouldnt go back out with them. See I think that if you have to break up in the first place well then when you get back together there arent going to be feelings like that first time. I have no clue if I'm making sence but ohh well. I know what I'm talking about! Yeah so I want Tony and I hope that one day he will realize that there is a girl right here that is willing to do anything to be there for him and who wouldnt hurt him at all. Honestly...
Jules
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2003 10 June :: 11.06 am
:: Mood: crappy
:: Music: I'll meet you there- Simple Plan
Goodbye to you
Now you're gone
I wonder why you left me here
I think about it on and on again
I know you're never
coming back
But I hope that
you can hear me
I'm waiting to hear from you
Until I do
You're gone away
I'm left alone
A part of me is gone
And I'm not moving on
So wait for me
I know the day will come
I'll meet you there
No matter where life takes me to
I'll meet you there
And even if I need you here
I'll meet you there
I wish I could have told you
the words I kept inside
But now I guess its just too late
So many things
remind me of you
I hope that you can hear me
I miss you
This is goodbye
One last time
And where I go you'll be there
with me
Forever you'll be right here
With me
I'll meet you there...
I guess this is goodbye to what we could of had... you know who you are...
Julie
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2003 9 June :: 11.49 pm
Disorder | Rating
Paranoid: Moderate
Schizoid: Low
Schizotypal: Moderate
Antisocial: Low
Borderline: Low
Histrionic: Moderate
Narcissistic: High
Avoidant: Moderate
Dependent: Low
Obsessive-Compulsive: Moderate
URL of the test: http://www.4degreez.com/misc/personality_disorder_test.mv
URL for more info: http://www.4degreez.com/misc/disorder_information2.html
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2003 9 June :: 10.59 pm
:: Mood: depressed
:: Music: The Used- taste of ink
i wonder if he ever really thinks about him and I. What we could have. I wonder... does he know that we would be good together? Does he know that I would do anything just to be there for him? I cant pretend I dont care when he doesnt think about me, do i deserve this? I'm confused and wish i could just talk to him about the whole thing. But I'm afraid to bring it up. Is it worth it to even try? I think I lost him... i lost the guy I thought i would be with for a long time... i guess it was just too late... this sucks.. what would happen if i was to just dissappear? Would anyone miss me? I know a few would but not many. I hate feeling like this because once i get to the point of depression, I'm in it for a long time. I think its time for me to leave... to go away... where no one can find me... ever...
Goodbye to all who care... i love you to the one who got away... you know who you are...
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2003 9 June :: 10.44 pm
:: Mood: angry
Fuck life! It sucks majorly. I wish someone understood everything that i'm going through but its not possible. GRRRRRR..... i want to go somewhere where no one can find me and just sit and think of the guy that i'm choosing to wait for. So in the end, fuck everything that i've tried to do to have him think of me as a good person which i shouldnt have to impress anyone but i chose to and it went to hell. FUCK IT!
Jules
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2003 9 June :: 10.16 pm
:: Mood: crushed
:: Music: Addicted- Simple Plan
The guy...
Well, I have this really ugly feeling that hes going to go back to her and leave me here with my millions of feelings for him. I know its his life and everything but still, I got to know him for who he is and I went against what people said and then it went to hell from there. I have no clue what to do, so I think I'm going to just leave it alone for a while. I guess we're still going to hang out and stuff which is cool, then after the summer is done he did tell me that he would consider starting something once school started. I'm happy to hear that and everything, but i know that all summer I'm going to have this feeling in my heart and gut that he wont live up to his word. But I have to think positive and have patience cause time is the best thing at this time. Anyway, I finally got the 'Simple Plan' CD and 'The White Stripes'. Well, I have to get out of the house every soon!! I want to go to a party or something!!! BEAVER!!!!!!!! PARTY BEAVER!!!!!!!! (hint hint!!) Anyways, i'm going to go. so I'll talk to ya'll later or something. Beav, help me with this situation! Buh bye!
Jules
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2003 7 June :: 9.59 pm
:: Mood: blah
:: Music: the Whit Strips- Seven Nation Army
Well, i'm bored. We just had a baby shower for my sis in law and then had a little party afterwards. It was quite fun. Yeah, well school out. Another year gone and everything that happened is to be forgotten. I'm oging bowling monday! WOOHU! I'm excited because I suck at it and everything and i'm going to make an ass of myself but oh well, its just Tony. Its not like I'm trying to impress. Anyways, I feel quite stupid because supposivly, she didnt write that on the wall. I apologized and everything and I want to drop the whole thing. I have no hard feelings and nothing against her so i'm done. Tony is a big boy and he can make his own decisions. Anywho, I'm outty!
**Julie Slow**
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2003 5 June :: 3.53 pm
:: Mood: pissed off
:: Music: Angry music (Godsmack- Voodoo)
I'm so pissed! God Tony is so blind and cant see that in front of him is a girl who would do anything to make him happy. Unlike a certain person who makes him all upset nad everything, I would make him laugh and such. ANyways, no use trying. I need to get away from here or something. well, i have to get ging i'll be back soon.
Julie slow
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