Is it worth it can you even hear me

Is it worth it can you even hear me

:: 2004 25 March :: 3.16 pm

if you die right now i die too....

:: 2004 25 March :: 11.00 am

im in 4th period right now....yay...i came on hoping my buddy ahslie was on but she's not so there is no point in being on.....ok thats all bye bye....Dewitt is cool...

i <3 ray!! :P

~~~~Stef~~

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:: 2004 24 March :: 4.14 pm
:: Mood: um...
:: Music: Hoobastank-the reason

Ok so theres gonna be Tree climbing, frolicking ih the fields, a Bounce House, tu tu's, Donnie Darko, and a small T.V in a small room with a bunch of people who hate eachother..yay....can't wait..lol
Today was good, there is a new kid in my first and 5th period class, his name is dan and right when i saw him i was like hey lets go make friends with him so we did, and now we have a new friend, yayy!!he seems kinda shy but it was his first day and like 6 people bombarded him int he back of the room and started asking him all these questions..it was cool though

then at lunch they had the drug dogs which freaked me out, ahh and they had police and they put on a show trying to tell peopl not to do drugs, me ashlie annalou and danny got a kick out of that, we sat on the ground in the middle of the court yard and watched, it was fun.

In 6th and 7th we didnt have to go to class caus ewe went to the auditorium to see a presentation on drugs and such. it was really moving and sad :(. me and ashlie cried alot at the end, like forever and everyone was like are u ok,,, aww i love you ashlie!!!!!

then i got on the bus and went home, then got picked up in the middle of riding my bike home from my bus stop by my parents there like ahh we gotta go to your ortho appt. and i jumped in the car and off i went..

.....$160...ching ching, i had to get a new retainer cause i broke my old one, it has that new plastic taste, it kinda tastes alot like when u walk past the nail places in the mall and you smell that nasty acrilic smell well it tastes like that...um YuMmY!! not really...

.....Yes well i ahve to go caus emy annoyning little brother is kicking me off so he can play jump start kindergarten or some gay shit like that....i dunno what he does, whatever.

im out....

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:: 2004 22 March :: 9.28 pm
:: Mood: Happy
:: Music: blind side

Moose cakes
Spent the day with ray....took pictures, edited them they look soo cool, my new icon is one of them...thats about all, going to sleep soon :( schools tomorrow :( that sux alot!!!

Hmm im soo not looking foward to getting up at like 4:45 :( oh well i get to see my ashlie cakes yayy!! and everyone else

well thats all...

~*~Sleep~*~

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:: 2004 10 March :: 7.18 pm

i dont feel like updating........

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:: 2004 29 February :: 3.53 pm

ok.........maybe not

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:: 2004 26 February :: 3.30 pm

Do you ever wonder where
We would be if we'd have tried
A little harder?
It seems like yesterday
That we were making plans
For the future
But it's been so long
Since I have known the truth
These dreams we've left abandoned
And I'm haunted by your face
And the memory of your kisses
Sweet kisses
Do you remember?
I still remember so much
I remember never feeling so alive
Do you remember?
I still can't forget your touch
We swore that we would never end
We knew our love transcend space and time
These memories slip away
The ghost of what we were
Is fading
But there is no more pain
Which is funny 'cause that night
I was dying
Now I don't even recognize
The girl I swore that someday
I would marry
But I can't forget her face
And I can't forget her kisses
Sweet kisses
Do you remember?
I still can't forget your touch
Or how we swore that we would never be alone
Do you remember?
I still remember so much
I remember never feeling so alive
Do you remember?
'Cause I still can't forget your touch
We swore that we would never end
We knew our love transcend space and time
Do you remember?
God I remember so much

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:: 2004 23 February :: 6.05 pm

Im going to make my journal friends only, so if you cant see it log in then you can see what i have updated, if you really WANNA BE A FRIEND and your not on my friends list the im me or somthing and tell me, K :)......

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:: 2004 23 February :: 6.05 pm

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:: 2004 23 February :: 6.05 pm

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:: 2004 20 February :: 9.46 am
:: Mood: pain

owtchee
im home right now cause i got my wisdom teeth removed yesterday.........i cant even begin to explain the amount of pain that i was in yesterday when i woke up from the surgery.....

they gave me laughing gas at first, that was fun, they wanted to calm me down so i dint know or care what was going on, then they put me to sleep and the only thing i remember is waking up and not even remembering going to sleep at all, and i strted crying when i woke up cause i was in schock and it hurt alot!! that was soo bad!!

im getting ready to eat oatmeal...yippee skippee,

ehh i typed A whole other entry uising one hand because with the other hand i am holding a ice pack up to my face cause it is the size of a football yah and i went to post it and the whole thing got erased so that makes me mad!!! eww i look soo gross. not all the makeup in the world would make me look pretty right now!!:(

i dont no if im going to be spending the night at tylers tonite with ashlie and phil cause it hurts alot, and i feel bad about it cause if i dont spend the night then no one is going to spend the night, cause tyler said that it would be gay with just the three of them :(:(.

i can barely even open my mouth is sux... misty is making jello for me for later, cause thats all i can eat practically..

i slept alot yesterday, like all day after my surgery..im tired of sleeping, but i guess it will make me better, im waiting for ashlie to get online in 4th period so i can talk to her about this weekend...i hope she can at least spend the night saturday night and go to the parade with us...

i taste blood in my mouth.....ew

eww i can feel the stitches in my mouth and i was just informed that they are amde of the lining of a cats gut!! eww yay only a few more minutes untill ashlie will be on

i have to take 3 medications for this, one is a type of steriod and i dont no if thats good cause i dont want to get all big and buff, but phil says its probaly not that kind of steroid. so thats good

ok im gonna o now, and sit....and talk to my best buddy ashlie!!

i love ashlie!!

~stef

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:: 2004 18 February :: 8.34 pm
:: Mood: full
:: Music: billy talent-nothing to loose

hi :)
hhhmmm.......today was, .....normal, i want to get off the computer and draw, i think im gonna do that.

I came home and wet to sleep fo rlike 2 1/2 hrs, yummy that was good.

um tomorrow im only gonna be at school till like 10:00 and then friday im not even gonna come to school, because im getting my wisdome teeth taken out tomorrow!!:( owtchee!! ill be sleeping when they do it tho, so thats good.

Im gonna try to go over to zacks sometime soon...

like my new background its incubus, arent they awesome!!

~the end~

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:: 2004 17 February :: 6.43 pm
:: Mood: loved
:: Music: at the drive in- mannequin republic

cheese and rice
today is my dads birthday..... hes 42 wow!! ehh neways i just got home from iguana mia, i had chicken quisidillas, they were yummy!! and i saw my good friend Brian Thaggard there... it was his b-day too!!, i havent seen him since 8th grade(he went to ft. myers:(..)...

neways..besides that, me and zack are ok now, we have settled things.. and i think me and teddy bear are ok! i htink, sometimes i wonder with him.

this weekend ashlie is probaly gonna spend the night again, we are gonna go to the parade with phil and r e l.

R e l is really cool, and really short, i think me and her are gonna be good friends so thats cool...

hmmmm..not much more to say, today was ok, i guess nothing interesting really happened, i went to sleep when i got home, then i had to wake up and i didnt want to , i was stilkl sleepy, im gonna go to bed early tonite!!

ok thats all for my exciting life today bye everyone!! :)

~~~~~~~~~~~stef~~~~~~~~~~

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:: 2004 16 February :: 6.29 pm

ok wow what a weekend, it was indeed very eventful!!

um first of all im not going to go into detail about my weekend caus ethat would take alot of time and typing to do, and i might get bitched at for writnig somethings, so im just gonna say that it was a very good weekend and i had alot of fun...

everyone seriously needs toget a life, im soooo tired of everyone minding everyones elese business, it s bullshit. i dont see how ppl can start saying things about ashli, when none of the ppl that are saying stuff were even there at all this weekend.

zack read the really long comment that i left in your journal cause that explains alot!! i dont no exactly what has happened between us. we used to be really good friends but lately you have been really depressing and its depressing being around you, i try to help and all you do is shrug your head and tell me nothing is wrong, so i just gave up, what am i suposed to do seriously. im tired of caring about people, (not just you) who lie to me and talk about me behind my back or ar efake or dont tell the truth. its BS!! and im tire dof getting hurt.

and just to let all of you opinionated people who like to stick up for ppl who normally you wouldent give the time of day to. I dont want any of your comments in my journal that say im mean or a bitch or balh blah blha becaus ehtis is MY journal and i have the right to say whatever i want to in it>> dont I? so dont waste your time reading it if you dont want to hear it.............

anyway, now that i got that out of the way.

what ever you guys seem to think happened between ashlie and tyler, isnt even your business anyway, at all, and nothing even happened anyway, i read acomment somewhere in someones journal that was calling her a slut and saying she gave him a bj well that is bs.

i was there the whole time and all they did was makeout and she had a hicki from him,,,so dont all you go and have a kiniption fit now over that....ok ok..good....

and i dont see why everyone thinks that me and ashlie being friends is a bad thing, ??? i mean wtf, i understand what she is going through and i have been there. we get along really well and i can tell that if i need her she will be there for me and vic verse..

to be honest the only other person i have ever had like her was stephanie kirkwood. guys just cant do the justice as a best friend for me, i really really dont mean to offend anyone by saying that but it is true, guys just dont understand girls and vice versa.

i have hung out with guys for the past like 2 and a half years and i have been fucked over so many times bye them, i never have with girls that are best friends, so basically im tired of that.ok!!! geeze

ahhhh i cant even explain it, there is seriously no point at all , cause right when im happy with everyone, someone starts hating me again or there is another fight there is no point at all in explaining my self because in the end someone isnt happy, well i dont care if that is how its gonna be.

im content with being by myself, or being with my family, or being with the true friends that i have if that is how its gonna be..

or maybe everything is getting blown way out of proportion and everything will still be ok with everyone like it was before, i hope so......... i have nothing elese to say so im gonna go. im just hoping for the best :)
~~~stef~~~

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:: 2004 16 February :: 2.15 pm
:: Mood: very happy
:: Music: korn...somebodys someone

..thuis weekend was exciting i spent the night at ashlies house friday night and we went to the movies then i wentt o a wedding on saturday and i was the "photographer" it was fun,,,,kinda, then ashlie came over and she has been here al weekend......umm yah ashlie and phil are here right now so im gonna go intertain them or somthing,,ill write later when everyones gone about our exciting weekend,,,,,bi

~~~stef~~~

zack whats wrong.......

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:: 2004 11 February :: 6.13 pm
:: Music: Thursday....cross out the eyes

cant wait till this weekend
.....hmmm school today, nothing out of the ordinary, i got mi iflurtz thing back, it sadi that i was most compatable with jon economy ewwww!!!!!,

Yah and me ash and kaitlin still ahbvent made plans for this weekend yet, all we know is thta we are gonna spend the night somewhere together and stuff...yep i came home and i was really really sleepy so i went to sleep and was awoken by phil calling me at like 4:45, but thats good cause i didnt want to sleep all night...i think im gonna be "artistic" later ad draw and stuff, i love drawing and i dont do it enough.

I was talking to my 11 year old cusin on the computer earlier, she imed me, she lives in kansas it was interesting!!!

im talkin to like 6 ppl right now, its crazy i get on and like everyone imes me....its alittle anoying but its ok

i hope this weekend is good, cause for the first time in a long time im auctually happy and not really sad about anything, and im goood with everyone, ther isnt really any person who im enimies with, and thats good well besides stacey, but i dont really care avbout that, shes dumb!!

ahh my hair, im gonna get it colored,, what shouldi get it done like????
im probaly gonna die it all like a brownish red coor and get alot of blond highlights so i still have alot of blond in my hair....

or........................

im gonna get it colored blond agaion with like platinum highlights so ill be really blond, bu ti think ilike the first idea better,, ilook soo weird tho like not all blond, i havent seen it like that since 6th grade...its gonna be weird

i hope nothing happens this weekend that will make me sad..

ashlie needs to come online!!

i was acting all weird today for some reason i was really abnoxiuos! oh well

ok well thats all for my fun exciting life for now
>:~the stage is set to rip the wings from a butterfly~:<

<3 stef

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