:: 2005 10 December :: 5.18 pm

i'd say i don't care anymore. i think i want that to happen cause i'm not doing a very good job. why can't i have two or three? who says that's wrong? i'm still not over all those stupid things either. it's like it wasn't almost two years ago.

and it's official. again. christmas is horrible. it's so dumb. i don't want presents. i don't want trees or lights or family or friends. i want to do something good for someone who needs me. NOT because it's christmas, but because i should be a good person all year. then maybe i can feel decent. i miss my peepers. i think they're the only thing i don't hate.

i hate everything. la la la lala.

and the paranoia is coming back. good times.

so sad. meh. nothing makes sense. i'm contemplating jumping off a bridge. head's up.

love,
useless.

3 Little Tykes | Watcha got there?

:: 2005 9 December :: 11.05 am

ha ha ha ha i'm homie home home home homies.

just hanging out with griffin and tyrone and apollo. it's good stuff.

i love being here so much. i'm all alone all day and i'm watching boston public. best show ever.

i don't even feel sad. i like school, but i'm not overly attached to anything.

1 Little Tyke | Watcha got there?

:: 2005 7 December :: 11.43 pm

my last night in 120 shilling. it's good. everyone is being so cute and nice. i wish it had been like this the whole time. ahh. life.

going home tomorrow. my goodness. i'm so excited.

1 Little Tyke | Watcha got there?

:: 2005 6 December :: 9.03 pm

algebra final finished. i can say that i paid attention, never skipped class, passed all of my tests, did all of my homework, asked questions.
i even though i understood most of it.

that's never happened before.

so if i don't pass we can finally say that i don't get it. and then i can take it again.

or drop out of life. whatever.

and if i do pass. . .hmmm. it's cause for celebration because i can't even add in my head. or count.

10 Little Tykes | Watcha got there?

:: 2005 2 December :: 1.07 pm

some people make me so sad. if you're drunk at 1 in the morning and wake everyone up and get written up for it you should probably just go to hell. cause i'm sick and even if i wasn't i wouldn't want to be woken up at 1 in the freaking morning.

i almost passed out in target yesterday. that was fun.

and i'm kind of sad to be moving out. christan is being very cool.

3 Little Tykes | Watcha got there?

:: 2005 28 November :: 10.12 pm

there is a violence in me.

anger and resentment all the time. uhhhhhhh.

i'm sorry sorry sorry. i pray all the time, but i don't think i'm doing it right cause i don't feel any better or changed.

and avoiding the situation? is that good or bad? is it right to sit here in the tension and the silence wishing i could not be so mad.

ok.

Watcha got there?

:: 2005 28 November :: 4.04 pm
:: Music: motion city-when you're around

5 Little Tykes | Watcha got there?

:: 2005 27 November :: 4.15 pm

my stomach hurts now. i think i left my english folder at home, but how could i have done that? i remember packing it.

everything isn't shitty and still i want to throw up and die.

3 Little Tykes | Watcha got there?

:: 2005 15 November :: 12.18 pm

here's a warning for everyone. don't hang out with AARON DANIEL COHEN. not only does he listen to the backstreet boys and billy joel, he has really dumb ideas and makes people cry.

but only i can say that because he's my dumb brother and i love him*





*sometimes.

7 Little Tykes | Watcha got there?

:: 2005 13 November :: 10.44 pm

I wanna be I wanna be like that mountain
I wanna stand taller and bigger than rest
See I just wanna be a guy who wins all the time
I wanna be a big star a king and rule my own life
And God I know that it's wrong
So please just make my heart right
Inside and destroy my pride

_the rocket summer

2 Little Tykes | Watcha got there?

:: 2005 9 November :: 10.55 am

so this is one of those days where everything feels kind of crappy and i can't work up any gratefulness.

andrea and alli got me to skip aerobics. that's okay with me as long as i don't do it next week.

but seriously. i woke up in such a bad mood this morning.

my roomate is so dumb.

she woke me up no less than five times last night. it's usually only twice.

but here's the deal. every tuesday my floor goes out for chicken strips at the roadhouse. i don't like to go because they come back to late and i have to get up at 7 on wednesdays. so i'm up in my bed reading and you can't see me very well from the floor. chuck comes in and wonders asks where i am and christian says the lounge because she knew i didn't want to go. i thought she was just covering me like a good roomate.

but maybe she's just stupid and didn't know i was in my bed. she's like that. so she leaves to somewhere, i don't know where and i didn't really care. except that she left the tv on which is why i don't think she knew i was there, but you never know. she's pretty rude.
then i called her to see if she was coming back. but she didn't take her phone. i decided to turn the tv off anyway.

i went to bed around 10:45

at 12:30 ish i get a phone call. from ole' roomie. i didn't answer it because i was sleeping.

But then. . .i hear my voicemail from my room.

ummm?

Then christan starts talking and leaving a message for her sister on my phone because she thought she got a new phone.

we don't even have the same area codes. and my voice mail says 'this is sarah'

so this means she isn't paying attention to my phone ringing or hear sarah or reconize an area code and she didn't put my number in her phone when i gave it to her a month ago.

and then she calls again so i turn my phone off. and then she woke me up from moving around and lights and stuff like that.

i'm being so mean. but i don't even care. she drives me crazy.

And then this morning we had to have a debate in english about globalization. does that make sense? everyone was just making stuff up and one person in my group didn't even understand her topic and was getting all mad when the judges called her out on it.

Here are some good things though
I made my schedual early because they still think i'm in the honors college

i love jake huizenga

i don't think i even have to write paper five in english

that's it.

6 Little Tykes | Watcha got there?

:: 2005 3 November :: 12.04 am

oh yes. score and a half for me.

who got a 95 percent on their math pretest??

hmmmm???!

AND ALSO STARTED MY JOBBIE???

me. that's who.

i'm so awesome you can't even stand it.

3 Little Tykes | Watcha got there?

:: 2005 1 November :: 1.12 pm

alright. good times. i didn't know you little guys would work so fast, but i'm already feeling it.

ABCDEEE. ha ha ha ha.

that one's for my sunshine/robot!

yay for everything!

6 Little Tykes | Watcha got there?

:: 2005 31 October :: 11.36 am
:: Music: early november-ever so sweet

4 Little Tykes | Watcha got there?

:: 2005 30 October :: 4.43 pm
:: Mood: shame
:: Music: lumberjack song

1 Little Tyke | Watcha got there?

:: 2005 29 October :: 10.07 pm

i don't know why i can't grow up.

4 Little Tykes | Watcha got there?

:: 2005 29 October :: 9.40 pm

this can't even be happening.

i feel so sick and wrong and exhaused.

Watcha got there?

:: 2005 27 October :: 3.37 pm

i'm sorry. i feel really bad.

BUT I AM NOT CAPABLE OF WORKING IN GROUPS.

i cannot do it, even with people i like. even if the project is super hard, i'd so much rather do it alone.

that way i don't have to depend on anyone except myself and then no
on has to depend on me.

and this time i got forced into the leader position. SARAH COHEN is the most aggressive person in this group. . .

so i don't know how to lead people and they don't do what i ask anyway, so what the hell does it matter?


it's painful. excrusiating.

i don't trust anyone to to their own work right (the way i want it) if they even do it at all, so i take all the work and i can and get mad because no one is helping me.

ps-i think i hate my roomate too.

5 Little Tykes | Watcha got there?

:: 2005 20 October :: 4.06 pm

no seriously. umm i got a job in september and it hasn't started yet. they finally called me yesterday to ask about my availabiltiy and then i call back and there isn't anyone in the office. for two days.

and i can't even work during break. so i'll have like a month of a job and then nothing.

WHAT THE DEAL???!!!!!??!?!?!??!?

2 Little Tykes | Watcha got there?

:: 2005 20 October :: 3.57 pm

so i'm trying to be a good person. like not so bitchy and complainy and mean and two faced. i'm annoying myself.

but i feel so spiteful and vindicitve. and guilty. esp. guilty.

i want to go home right now. it's not that i hate it here. i actually like it a lot, but my house sounds really good right now.

5 Little Tykes | Watcha got there?

:: 2005 19 October :: 10.49 pm

it's that feeling where you hate everyone, but still want them to love you.

4 Little Tykes | Watcha got there?

:: 2005 18 October :: 4.12 pm

so yesterday started the official sarah is not a jerk era in my life.

i'm doing okay considering.

except that i was just mean to my mom. i didn't mean to be. but now i just feel like punching something big time.

2 Little Tykes | Watcha got there?

:: 2005 15 October :: 5.22 pm

and why do people act so suprised when you do things alone?

i don't want pity. i want silence.

Watcha got there?

:: 2005 15 October :: 5.15 pm

oh my gooooosssssssssh........!

can't you even take a hint? can't you ever stop talking or making noise?

i can't stand your stupid face and voice. you're really dumb and annoying.

can't you just go away?

far far away. go. now. leave me.

Watcha got there?

:: 2005 14 October :: 7.01 pm
:: Music: all american rejects-it ends tonight

1 Little Tyke | Watcha got there?

:: 2005 11 October :: 6.30 pm
:: Music: red hot chile peppers coming from kevin's room at an unnessarily loud volume

10 Little Tykes | Watcha got there?

:: 2005 6 October :: 3.27 pm

okay so. . .every time i walk my building i am screaming in my head. not any words, but yelling.

there's something creepy in my room and i think it's going to kill me.
seriously.

i am going to freak out because i'm not sure what's going on.

am i being picky and judgemental and mean? am i really trying?

yeah. so i bet god is way pissed at me because i can't even bother to be sincerely nice.

ahhh. i don't know. i just don't like it. am i supposed to like everyone? am i supposed to be good to those i like the least. it's hard. it's really really really really hard. and i'm not even good at faking things.

plus i'm really petty. seriously a hugh bitch is what i am. and i hate pretending. i hateeeeeeeeee ittttt.

ugh, but other people have told me the same thing, so it's probably not just me. still. i'm not being good.

4 Little Tykes | Watcha got there?

:: 2005 6 October :: 1.14 pm
:: Mood: delicious

right now i am eating taco sause off a cheese stick.

sooooo good

Watcha got there?

:: 2005 3 October :: 4.01 pm
:: Mood: sickish

i don't know about you guys though. i want you to go away, cause i don't feel like talking.

Watcha got there?

:: 2005 29 September :: 6.56 pm

1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction and air conditioning.

2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britney Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

7) Obviously, gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

9) Children can never succeed without both a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans...

*Re-post this if you believe that laws against gay marriage are just plain stupid

3 Little Tykes | Watcha got there?