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2004 9 January :: 9.44 pm
I'm a lucky kid.
1 Little Tyke |
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2004 6 January :: 9.24 pm
i hate tuesdays.
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2004 5 January :: 8.41 pm
:: Mood: distraught
I'm a nice girl. I don't see what the big stupid deal is. We're kids.
And maybe I wouldn't seem like such a slut bag if you would just leave us be for like three seconds.
You're so scary, you don't even know it. If you could just stop looking at me like I'm crazy and making up these stupid rules I could warm up to you, and you wouldn't suggest awful things.
And I'd like you to know that I didn't push anything. It just happened. Coercion and guilt were not factors here. I am not a crazy obcessive kid. School nights are crap and weekly visits...it's not a big deal okay? It's supposed to be fun.
6 Little Tykes |
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2004 4 January :: 6.12 pm
:: Mood: hateful
i'm so annoyed right now. i don't want to eat dinner because i think i'll grumble at someone and then get yelled at.
1 Little Tyke |
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2004 2 January :: 1.31 pm
:: Mood: excited
things i am proud of today:
1. My reorganized closet
2. The things i bought yesterday
3. My feet
5 Little Tykes |
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2004 1 January :: 8.32 pm
:: Music: sponge-have you seen mary?
i'm so hopeless with money. i think when i grow up i'm going to be very poor because i don't know when to stop. i do look considerably hotter though.
being with renee was cool, we had a lot of fun stealing babies and coughing and acting like seventh graders.
tomorrow will be fun too
6 Little Tykes |
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2003 31 December :: 6.04 pm
the sky is really pretty right now, it's like the end of dusk and the light is still faint and i can see one star.
i guess i'm as disapointed as i thought. something like this usually happens. so maybe tomorrow.
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2003 31 December :: 3.03 pm
i am feeling the tremendous hurt right now.
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2003 30 December :: 9.44 pm
what's your poison?
12 Little Tykes |
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2003 30 December :: 8.34 pm
it was like being ripped away all over again.
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2003 30 December :: 4.08 pm
:: Music: coldplay-in my place
i don't know. i'd give it an okay with a side of brooding boys.
it would have been funner if we were in the right place. they aren't part of our normal lives. an invasion of that doesn't feel right.
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2003 26 December :: 4.55 pm
:: Mood: livid
:: Music: lifehouse-simon
the more you will something to happen the more it doesn't.
1 Little Tyke |
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2003 25 December :: 1.19 pm
the only present that matters is coming tomorrow.
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2003 25 December :: 10.56 am
if you're not going to put effort into it, you might as well just not waste your money.
asdasdasdasdasdasdasdasd
3 Little Tykes |
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2003 24 December :: 10.32 pm
i also hate the whole gift giving thing. i'm crappy at it, i hate shopping, i have limited funds. it would be more enjoyable if it was a holiday where we put decorations out for no reason and bought trees. but no presents. it would just be cute.
this is the only time of year i wish dad still lived with us, so he could help out.
my mom has one present. i'm such a jerk. and she's leaving us tomorrow. but if she stayed she'd just be grouchy all day.
1 Little Tyke |
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2003 24 December :: 10.24 pm
so far, worst christmas ever.
i feel so disapointed, so cheated.
it's a time for families to annoy each other and be all stressed about dumb stuff, like forks or exagerated misunderstandings.
christmas makes me deeply unhappy.
everyone ruins christmas for everyone else.
2 Little Tykes |
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2003 23 December :: 10.56 pm
:: Music: cardigans-lovefools
oh it's so very good. do you think the attachment stage has set in yet?
no, nevermind i don't think that would make me feel giddy.
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2003 23 December :: 7.53 pm
i saw that lady again. funniest thing to happen all day
big boy wasn't so bad. even though i am dying and i don't have any sucky candy for my throat.
1 Little Tyke |
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2003 23 December :: 2.07 pm
:: Music: billy joel-two thousand years
i think i need to find my spice world cd. asap.
i want to go to the gym but have decided against it since i don't feel good and i've done enough driving today.
and i think i'm going to stop going to Synagogue with Dad and start going to church again. I don't really like it. maybe that will end some turmoil.
_______________________________
the mayans were wrong. or maybe it was the aztecs.
1 Little Tyke |
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2003 21 December :: 11.18 am
yum
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2003 19 December :: 11.11 pm
:: Music: switchfoot
oh goody goody gum drops. i am not abandoned.
and today didn't suck. sure, it wasn't party central, but i found that i wasn't annoyed with anyone really.
i was even reluctant to leave because everyone was in such a good mood.
and i have my bop it pen.
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2003 18 December :: 10.41 pm
it's all over for the ideal. that's the only reason we stay.
if it doesn't happen, i don't know. i guess i'll throw up.
i hate the phone.
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2003 18 December :: 10.19 pm
:: Mood: very sad
being grown up isn't half as fun as growing up
ahhh
still. i my weekend will be ruined AGAIN. fff.
it makes me wonder if sabatage is in the mix.
---------------------------------------------------------
the nhs party was so much fun.
and what do you get for the girl who needs nothing?
a bop-it pen.
friday should be enjoyable.
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2003 18 December :: 3.24 pm
:: Music: blink 182 violence
it feels good to be home.
One agonizing day to go...everyone is freaking out.
i'm okay though.
3 Little Tykes |
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2003 16 December :: 9.51 pm
:: Music: the ataris
i'd rob a quicke mart for you
so today wasn't horrible.
english wasn't as scary as i thought it would be, and we watched a cool movie in spanish.
history frustrated me. the btp and reconstruction. i'm sick of it.
and bmmt wasn't toooooo sucky.
But after school was glorious!
Beans and I had a super cool pre-date at the gym and it was so nice. and then subway....mmmmm
and pep band was a lot of fun. power rangers, improv, candian songs, pretending to be men...philisophical discussions. good stuff.
although someone i wished was there was not, but i knew that would happen. saturday had better come swiftly.
goodnight
2 Little Tykes |
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2003 15 December :: 9.13 pm
wow. i didn't know how much this upset me until now. what an impact.
but saturday and sunday should be awesome.
1 Little Tyke |
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2003 15 December :: 3.12 pm
i'm so sick of myself. and school. so if myself gets taken out of school i'll be okay.
2 Little Tykes |
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2003 14 December :: 7.52 pm
as far as i can see, right now, there is no point to boys.
perpetually upset
1 Little Tyke |
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2003 14 December :: 5.56 pm
i am lazy and dumb
1 Little Tyke |
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2003 13 December :: 2.30 pm
:: Mood: sad
i really hate mustard. it's sick.
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