In the Mind of the Mellow

:: 2006 5 April :: 12.42pm

OMFG...

It's my negative four months' wedding anniversary.

I'm officially freaked out.

10 Smashy?s | Step in a Mellow

:: 2006 4 April :: 12.47am

As long as I don't fall asleep... I won't wake up... which means I don't have to go to school all day... and I won't have to come home... and then not work or make money... so I can't go to japan... fuck me sideways... I use alot of elipses...

:: 2006 2 April :: 8.11pm

125 days! 125 days!

Rehersal dinner: booked!
Bridesmaids gifts: purchased!
Bridesmaids dresses: in!
Invitations: in!
Shoes: totally cute!
Vows: almost finished!

1 Smashy? | Step in a Mellow

17 Smashy?s | Step in a Mellow

:: 2006 28 March :: 7.35pm

This is the funniest thing that's ever happened to me...
So I get out of my enlgish class today, and usually I head to the library and I just sit on a computer for a couple of hours.

most of you on my MSN list know of the guy who stole my e-mail because he could. well he's been saying some pretty bad things to everyone...

So I pull up to a random computer and login. THe ferris login system is novell but it has no password and programs are saved, but when it goes to screen saver it goes back to the login screen. Well someone had left their MSN logged in... I was just about to go logoff when... oh my god. In the place of the Online list and the Offline list... theres... Tuwang, and not Tuwang. Now I dont' know if you've ever heard the name used before , but I haven't, so I was intrigued, who would use this in such an obscure place... so I check the e-mail : john6751@hotmail.com... nothing rings a bell at first because I'm not in the mindset... but then I look at the name... it's "Hey, I'm dumb and leave my MSN on at the library!!!" I think for a second... thinking little by little... and then I put it together... It's John, the guy who stole my hotmail account. I'm elated. I have ultimate revenge capabilities in my hang. But this is too coincidental... or this guy is just cocky... so what is my first move, I think to myself. Then BAM, a friend of his talks to me and asks me who it is. we talk for alittle bit and eventually he finds out he's not me. I ask him, is there a guy with the e-mail Tuwang128@hotmail.com on your list? And he says, "yep , that's the guy who's e-mail he stole, he went on and on about it for like a week." This guy thinks like me and thinks it would infact be hilarious if I were to show up at his doorstep. He gives me his phone number... and then his address... and then says " Have fun kickin his ass, he'll shit his pants..."

ofcourse This is a brilliant idea. But I have to add fuel to the fire... SO I send an e-mail out to everyone on his list confessing that Jon is gay, and here's how it goes.:

well, I think the time has come...

I've been trying to think of a good time to say this, but I never have been able to find it until now...

I know what ur probably going to think about me after this... but I can't hold it any longer...

I'm gay... and I just want you all to know...

sincerely,

jon

that was sent out immediately. Come tonight I get back on his address just to see if there's any early bird retorts, and low and behold I get hit with..

Laugh when you can, apologize when you should, and let go of what you can't change!! says:
you really gay?

and so then the conversation was on...

Smokey McFaggston says:
... you don't hate me now do ya?
Laugh when you can, apologize when you should, and let go of what you can't change!! says:
why in the hell would i hate you for being gay?
Laugh when you can, apologize when you should, and let go of what you can't change!! says:
isnt that kinda steryotipical, you tihnk id hate you? i aint that k inda person darlin
Smokey says:
well... thanks...
Smokey says:
that makes me feel better
Laugh when you can, apologize when you should, and let go of what you can't change!! says:
no problem
Laugh when you can, apologize when you should, and let go of what you can't change!! says:
perhaps u should check ur mail
Smokey says:
oh, thanks
Smokey says:
and it was me
Laugh when you can, apologize when you should, and let go of what you can't change!! says:
haha aight
Laugh when you can, apologize when you should, and let go of what you can't change!! says:
well good for you man. I knew you were
Smokey says:
hang on...
Laugh when you can, apologize when you should, and let go of what you can't change!! says:
to what
Laugh when you can, apologize when you should, and let go of what you can't change!! says:
jk
Laugh when you can, apologize when you should, and let go of what you can't change!! says:
aight
Smokey says:
man, i don't know what to do now
Smokey says:
big day
Laugh when you can, apologize when you should, and let go of what you can't change!! says:
haha, so what made you come outta the closet?
Smokey says:
I was just tired of hiding it
Smokey says:
itll kill ya somtimes ya know?
Laugh when you can, apologize when you should, and let go of what you can't change!! says:
yeah..good for you... so ya got anyone in mind?
Laugh when you can, apologize when you should, and let go of what you can't change!! says:
so have you fooled around with a man before? tis why you always said you were a virgin casue ya never had sex with a woman? (just curious)
Smokey says:
yeah... haha
Smokey says:
never sex though....
Smokey says:
just like kissin and stuff
Laugh when you can, apologize when you should, and let go of what you can't change!! says:
ahh i see, that's cool..
Laugh when you can, apologize when you should, and let go of what you can't change!! says:
glad to hear ya family crawled outta your shelll
Laugh when you can, apologize when you should, and let go of what you can't change!! says:
musta takin ALOT of courage
Smokey says:
you have no idea
Smokey says:
2 years since the first time
Laugh when you can, apologize when you should, and let go of what you can't change!! says:
ohhh, i have an idea, not in the gay category, but there is shit i have had to admit that took all the courage in the world..
Laugh when you can, apologize when you should, and let go of what you can't change!! says:
since what first time?
Smokey says:
haha, ya know
Laugh when you can, apologize when you should, and let go of what you can't change!! says:
haha
Laugh when you can, apologize when you should, and let go of what you can't change!! says:
yeah
Laugh when you can, apologize when you should, and let go of what you can't change!! says:
well hey i gotta go, gettin ready to make some dinner n shite, i ll proly be on later
Laugh when you can, apologize when you should, and let go of what you can't change!! says:
so ya have a good night, take er easy (not hard)
Smokey says:
haha thanks
Smokey says:
lata
Laugh when you can, apologize when you should, and let go of what you can't change!! says:
no problemo
Laugh when you can, apologize when you should, and let go of what you can't change!! says:
ta ta.....
Smokey says:
thanks for talkin to me
Smokey says:
really
Laugh when you can, apologize when you should, and let go of what you can't change!! says:
oh no problem man, any freakin time....but im gettin rid of the net, so youll have to email me, or visa versa, ill be keepin in toucch with everyone..
Laugh when you can, apologize when you should, and let go of what you can't change!! says:
you have a good one jon
Smokey says:
thanks
Smokey says:
just stop by my place anytime if you want
Smokey says:
we can talk some more
Laugh when you can, apologize when you should, and let go of what you can't change!! says:
no prob
Laugh when you can, apologize when you should, and let go of what you can't change!! says:
haha, yeah sure, ill be there in bout 2 months
Laugh when you can, apologize when you should, and let go of what you can't change!! says:
peace out

I think I did a damn good job of pretending to be coming out of the closet. SO much , infact, that I considered it... Until I realized how large of a boner shakira gives me... I only like the cafe ole! you know...

so, now I get to organize a party together, of men. We're going up there with bats... gonna give him a little scare... anybody interested?

here's his number...

796-1824

everyone give him a good hassle...

:: 2006 28 March :: 2.12pm

on a more positive note, 32 days until graduation!

:: 2006 28 March :: 2.10pm

you have NO IDEA what you are getting yourself into!

:: 2006 26 March :: 6.14pm

The odds are against me... I keep trying to do what I need to do sooo hard but for some reason theres this road block that I can't seem to get around...

2 Smashy?s | Step in a Mellow

:: 2006 26 March :: 12.43pm

I just realized that I said a couple entries ago that I needed a MONTH off for my honeymoon....lol. That would be sweet but not true. Only going for 7 days.

Need to do:
Schedule engagement pictures (c'mon warm weather)
Find florist
Find bartender
Order centerpieces
Decide on tuxes
Set menu with caterer
Order reponse cards
Get dress fitted
Rent dancefloor
Find makeup person?
Buy attendant gifts
Buy wedding rings
Write vows

I'm trying to pretend that that list isn't totally overwhelming me right now. I'm sitting here trying to tie little white bows on bells. ARGH!

I've kissed...Read more..

11 Smashy?s | Step in a Mellow

:: 2006 23 March :: 11.06am

all I wanna do is go home, be a loser, and play elder scrolls 4 all day... but I have to sit here at school.

Oh well, I've got ALL weekend I suppose... no work at all until monday.

fuck I need the moneys so i can catch the last train to japan...

Rachely

:: 2006 21 March :: 9.31pm

WARNING: Hypocrisy ahead
I know that I am supposed to feel compassion for other people, but I just cannot take this. He is constantly complaining to me about not having found the love of his life. About how sad he is. About how nobody knows the real him. And then he tells me he doesn't want anyone to know the real him because it would make them sad and he doesn't want other people to be sad. And he says all this to me only using about half of the words correctly and misspelling the other half. Every day he is complaining to me, and all I can think of is "do I complain this much? If I do I need to stop if I want to keep my friends." I just want to smack him, and I think that makes me a bad person...

And yes, I realize that just by writing this I am complaining. The difference is you don't have to read it, and even though you just did, at least you don't have to respond and try to make me feel better.

10 Smashy?s | Step in a Mellow

:: 2006 21 March :: 2.53pm

i woke up last night around 4 in the morning, shot up in bed, and said to myself, "how old am i? am i really only 21? 21 is way too young to be getting married! i must be crazy to be doing this! am i totally crazy?"
for some reason that question made a lot of sense, and i calmly said to myself, "yes, yes i am" (crazy, that is).

3 Smashy?s | Step in a Mellow

Tuwang

:: 2005 1 January :: 3.34am

new graphics card in.. yay!

14 Smashy?s | Step in a Mellow

:: 2006 16 March :: 12.04pm

I've kissed...
01. [x] on the cheek.
02. [x] on the lips.
03. [x] on their hands or fingers.
04. [x] in my room.
05. [x] in their room.
06. [x] of the opposite sex.
07. [ ] of the same sex.
08. [x] a little younger than me.
09. [x] a little older than me.
10. [x] with black hair.
11. [ ]with curly hair.
12. [x] blonde hair and blue eyes.
13. [x] with red hair.
14. [x] with straight hair.
15. [x] shorter than me.
16. [ ] with a lip ring.
17. [x] who i truly love/loved
18. [x] who was drunk.
19. [x] who was high....
20. [x] in the morning.
21. [x] right after waking up.
22. [x] just before bed.
23. [x] late at night.
24. [x] who i had just met
25. [x] who I really didn't want to kiss.
26. [x] just talking not dating.
27. [x] on a bed.
28. [ ] in a graveyard.
29. [x] at school.
30. [x] against a wall
31. [x] at a show. (what kind of show?)
32. [x] at the beach.
33. [x] at a concert.
34. [x] in a pool.
35. [x] who was/is a good friend.
36. [x] in the rain.
37. [x] with a mole on their body
38. [x] in the shower
39. [x] in a car/taxi/bus.
40. [x] in the movies.
41. [x] in a bathroom/laundry room
42. [x] in the dark.
43. [ ] on a roof top.
44. [x] under water
45. [x] while driving
46. [x] a stranger
47. [x] more than one person at once.... ( ha ha... funny story... )
48. [x] crying
49. [x] goodbye forever
50. [x] when i was drunk.
51. [x] who didn't speak english
52. [x] in a hot tub
53. [ ] in an elevator
54. [x] an ex
55. [ ] last night.
56. [ ] Just today.

all I know now is I feel like a whore... I shouldn't have taken that...

14 Smashy?s | Step in a Mellow

:: 2006 15 March :: 11.30pm

Some dude hacked my e-mail... sorry to those angered by the things this guy said but it wasn't me...

His excuse? it was done to him so he did it to me....

Tuwang128@gmail.com <----- add it

and andy, if you can at all help me figure out where this guy is loggin in from than that would be nice...

:: 2006 15 March :: 4.28pm

Woo! Tax refund to be deposited Friday...plus it's payday!!!

Thank god. Life is too expensive.

Time for me to get a real job...I interview on Friday and if I make it through this time, I get an offer. We'll see what kind of offer though. Plus they have to agree to give me at least a month off because we've already booked our honeymoon...to CANCUN...woooo!