You Know You're From Michigan When...

You define summer as three months of bad sledding. You think Alkaline batteries were named for a Tiger outfielder. You can identify an Ohio accent. Your idea of a seven-course meal is a six pack and a bucket of smelt. Owning a Japanese car is a hanging offense in your hometown. You know how to play (and pronounce) Euchre. The Big Mac is something that you drive across. You believe that "down south" means Toledo. You bake with soda and drink pop. You drive 75 on the highway and you pass on the right. Your Little League baseball game was snowed out. You learned how to drive a boat before you learned how to ride a bike. You know how to pronounce "Mackinac". The word "thumb" has a geographical rather than an anatomical significance. You have experienced frostbite and sunburn in the same week. You expect Vernor's when you order ginger ale. You know that Kalamazoo not only exists, but that it isn't far from Hell. Your favorite holidays are Christmas, Thanksgiving, the opening of deer season and Devil's Night. Your snowmobile, lawn mower and fishing boat all have big block Chevy engines. At least one person in your family disowns you for the week of the Michigan/Michigan State football game. You know what a millage is. Traveling coast to coast means driving from Port Huron to Muskegon. Half the change in your pocket is Canadian, eh. You show people where you grew up by pointing to a spot on your left hand. You know what a "Yooper" is. Your car rusts out before you need the brakes done Half the people you know say they are from Detroit... yet you don't personally know anyone who actually lives in Detroit "Up North" means north of Clare. You know what a pastie is. You occasionally cheer "Go Lions- and take the Tigers with you." Snow tires come standard on all your cars. At least 25% of your relatives work for the auto industry. You don't understand what the big deal about Chicago is. Octopus and hockey go together as naturally as hot dogs and baseball. You know more about chill factors and lake effect than you'd EVER like to know! Your snowblower has more miles on it than your car. Shoveling the driveway constitutes a great upper body workout. When giving directions, you refer to "A Michigan Left." You know when it has rained because of the smell of worms. You never watch the Weather Channel - you can just assume they're wrong. The snowmen you make in your front yard actually freeze. Solid. The snow freezes so hard that you can actually walk across it and not break it or leave any marks. All your shoes are called "tennis shoes", even though no one here plays tennis anyway. Your major school field trip includes camping and cross-country skiing. Half your friends have a perfect sledding hill right in their own backyard. You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Michigan.

Step in a Mellow