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2005 21 June :: 1.25 am
Well, I really haven't updated in such a long time...so much has happened...
I've finally graduated...I went to band camp, made some great friends...I really don't think that I'll have any problem making friends in college...so yeah...but as great as my new friends were, I couldn't forget about my awesome friends at home, especially Kelsey...she's been such a great friend, it's wonderful...take last night for instance, Monday night that is, we just spent a couple hours talking...and it was awesome...i really wish I could just do that more often, especially with girls...
1 seed |
it takes a death and only God can allow it |
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2005 30 April :: 6.02 pm
Wow, I just had the most wonderful dream...it was so happy, and awesome...
1 seed |
it takes a death and only God can allow it |
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2005 24 April :: 7.47 pm
:: Music: \m/Burzum\m/
\m/ Erblicket Die Tochter Des Firmaments \m/
I wonder how winter will be
With a spring that I shall never see
I wonder how night will be
With a day that I shall never see
I wonder how life will be
With a light I shall never see
I wonder how life will be
With a pain that lasts eternally
In every night there's a different black
In every night I wish that I was back
To the time when I rode
Through the forests of old
In every winter there's a different cold
In every winter I feel so old
So very old as the night
So very old as the dreadful cold
I wonder how life will be
With a death that I shall never see
I wonder why life must be
A life that lasts eternally
I wonder how life will be
With a death that I shall never see
I wonder why life must be
A life that lasts eternally
1 seed |
it takes a death and only God can allow it |
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2005 20 April :: 9.54 pm
:: Music: Limbonic Art - In Abhorrance Dementia
Holy shit! Why do I feel this? I've been so happy, so far from depression for a long time, why am I plunging back in now? What went wrong? goddammit!
it takes a death and only God can allow it |
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2005 19 March :: 3.00 pm
:: Music: My Journey to the Stars
Wow, finally, I update...a whole lot of shit has happened since my last update...umm, all of my auditions came and went, a relationship came and...went?..and lots of other stuff...I got accepted into all 3 schools I applied to, with Wooster offering me 11,000 dollars for my academics, and Capital offering me $12,000 for my musical abilities...Miami still hasn't returned to me with their monatary offering, if there will be any...some other good news, I am going to get a new bassoon on the first of April, I hope...My relationship with Jackie was good...until it ended that is...although that's not saying it got bad or anything, it just wasn't working out, I guess...but it was 2 months and 3 days or whatever...longer than the one before...It did make me sad that it ended so quickly...but, as Orleanna says, in The Poisonwood Bible "Oh, it's a fine and useless enterprise, trying to fix destiny"...probably the only quote I know by heart from that book, and probably my favorite one...but I guess it fits in rather well with my life about now...
More later, if I care enough...
it takes a death and only God can allow it |
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2005 8 February :: 4.18 pm
I haven't updated in a long time...I don't know if that plans to change...so don't get your hopes up
it takes a death and only God can allow it |
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2005 22 January :: 2.57 pm
I guess I need to update...Britt says so...it's coming, hold your horses...
2 seeds |
it takes a death and only God can allow it |
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2004 30 December :: 9.37 am
Let me just say...umm...I dunno...
2 seeds |
it takes a death and only God can allow it |
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2004 21 December :: 12.28 pm
Another time, another place
I don't care no more
I am the one you can't replace
A fact you can't ignore.
Can you face it
I'm forever gone
Dug your own grave
Shot with your own gun.
1 seed |
it takes a death and only God can allow it |
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2004 19 December :: 9.46 pm
:: Music: SunnO)))
A Fucking Headache, from SunnO)))
Something should be said about my dreams...and I guess I shall say it, that my dream last night surely capped off this weeks weird dreams...although, the two on Monday and Tuesday nights were probably my happiest and dissapointed me the most upon waking up...
it takes a death and only God can allow it |
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2004 16 December :: 8.29 pm
| What metal band are you? Opeth You are Opeth! You are very poetic with your lyrics, and your music flows like a waterfall. Your emotions change from angry to sad very quickly. Some people don't like you because you can sound too depressing. You're one of the best metal bands in the world, and you worship your fans! 
| Click Here to Take This Quiz
Brought to you by YouThink.com quizzes and personality tests. |
1 seed |
it takes a death and only God can allow it |
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2004 13 December :: 7.07 pm
Well, this weekend had its ups and downs...maybe downs more than ups, but who knows...Starting off at Thursday's concert, which went well...Brittany's solo turned out well, and she picked me up before hand...afterwards, I hung around with Alex at DQ, and had a few laughs and what not...after that, he showed me his boss acceleration...I went home, worked on my essay, and got it checked by Carmen...
Friday, I went down to Capital, and had a blast...I met with Cynthia, who's the professor down there for bassoon...I played a few duets with her, and she said I sounded good...met a girl ^_^, who happened to be the other bassoonist...she was nice, ended up talking with her for most of the day, but unfortunately did not get her email address or anything...I sat in on both of the wind ensemble's rehearsals...I could sight read the music of the lesser two bands, and then the higher band took some work...after that, we drove home...after stopping at Wendy's, I slept the way home, until we got to findlay...we went to Dietche's to get some ice cream, and then came home after stopping by Madhatter's...Eventually, Jax called me, and we went for a walk...this kinda led to not good things...thing U could have done without...eh...
Saturday, I woke up, went to BGSU and took the ACTs...I think I did fairly well...after that, I came home, screwed around a while, and then went to work...after work, went to pick up Carmen and then to the Christmas party...it was fun, and then afterwards, we went to Meijer and Kroger to look for books for my mom...didn't find them, took a drive so we could talk...I learned a few things that hurt a whole lot, angered me, and well, in turn, will probably help me get over Carmen...
Sunday, I did some homework, went to WaldenBooks with Carmen to get my mother some more books, and then came home, ate lunch, did more homework, etc. Went to Olive Garden for dinner, and then came home for bassoon lessons...after all that, worked on AP, and then read a lot of Franken Bitch...and then went to bed...
Quote of the day:
"Forgive me Father
For I know not what I do;
I leave a void to fill one,
Hear my prayers from far below."
3 seeds |
it takes a death and only God can allow it |
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2004 3 December :: 12.08 am
"Hell's polyhedron has blessed you
Your peerless beauty drips of sin
In this time of configuration,
blessed order shall prevail
Two sides to the war on flesh
Leviathan, who can't smile, beams"
Lord Worm
2 seeds |
it takes a death and only God can allow it |
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2004 16 November :: 12.11 am
:: Music: There you are - Flaming Lips
I really wish I knew what you wanted...half the time I'm doing stuff that you want me to do...like pretending do sound happy on the phone...I'd think that you'd want to hear me happy rather than sad when you do talk to me...maybe you'd like to hear that I'm doing alright, through all of this, rather than being the wreck that I am...I don't know...it'd be a pretty poor excuse to say that I do this all for you, so I'm not going to venture there...a lot of the stuff, I know, is pure shit...and that's how it seems that I treat you, which is unfortunate, to say the least...I don't know why I do it, but I sure wish I wouldn't...I mean, I love you more than anything in the world, and here I am making you hang up on me and not answer my calls and even dread my phone calls, which were something you used to look forward to...how far have I fallen...A lot of this comes from my inability to figure out what I want...I'm not sure what I want in terms of you...I do know that I want to get back together with you, but that is rather unfortunate, because you do not see it happening...also, why would you want to be with me, with how I treat you and everything, and how all we can do is fight anymore...I keep telling myself I want to move on, and I even believe it, until I see you...it happens everytime...everytime I see you, it's like the first time...the first time I realized I'd fallen for you, and the first time I realized I'd never get up, because that is how it would be, that is how I want it to be...to be always falling for you...
1 seed |
it takes a death and only God can allow it |
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