Had a good day today with Carmen...sushi for lunch...got a new nut for my sunglasses...went to Kroger to buy rat and cat food...then went to see Calendar Girls (good movie by the way)...went into Madhatters and bought a Kansas album and an Yngwie Malmstreen album...then into Squeakers to watch Daniel Webber perform...then down to Grounds to grab Doug...sat there with Joe, Kat, Tony, and Heath (Tony's friend)...after Grounds, we went to pick up Esther, which resulted in visiting many food chains...then back to Carmen's to watch some Cirque du Soleil...yeup...

Quote of the day:
"Something on the windowsill
Caught her eye and held her still
The cars pass by outside
Nowhere left to hide

Picture this now crystal clear
Nothing left to hold her here
And creeping up meanwhile
Traces of a smile
Eyes open wide to see if I could fly"

I'm hungry currently...that's because I didn't eat dinner...and all I ate for lunch was a can of Pringles, and a can of lemonade...along with a small slush...hmm...need to start eating healthy...so today, I didn't really pay attention in school...after school, I ran into Lauren in the hallway, and I finally got her screen name...saw Carmen after school, and then hung out with her...went to work after hanging out with her...and then, after work, I went to see Eternal Sunshine on the Spotless Mind...good movie...went with Carmen and Emily...had a good time...after the movie, we went to Grounds, where a lot of people were...then, Carmen and I went to Wendy's and got an order of fries...the line was kinda long, so I guess the manager felt bad, so she gave us a Biggie fry...it was nice of her...took Carmen to visit Chris at work and then went and hung out at her place...yeup...

GunBound isn't working right now...

Quote of the day:
"She awakens from a dream to a silent room
where shadows speak of memories
Another sleepless night,
afraid to face the day
It seems so long ago she shared the love
she feels so deep inside
Her love will never die
but still she feels so lonely..."

Tonight is Wednesday...w00t! One day till Spring Break! That's time to relax and...yeah...

Monday...hmm...I'm not remembering what went on that day...I know I watched Identity with Carmen that night...and we went to Panera for dinner...I guess school was alright if I don't have anything bad to remember...heh...nice to think of it that way, eh?

Tuesday, I went to the social issues workshop...that was a good experience...impacted upon me wonderful things...other than that...hmm...

Today, Carmen was ill...so I stopped by her house after school and before work...and then after work (eventually)...Much thanks to Amandalynn for visiting me today at work...it was wanted...and helpful...

I've started listening to my lps again...while I'm on the computer...I figure that I can listen to a bunch because I spend so much time on here...it's working so far...hehe...

Quote of the day:
"Climb a tower of freedom, paint your own deceiving sign.
It's not my power to criticize or to ask you to be blind
To your own pressing problem and the hate you must unwind."

Hmm...This weekends been fun...Friday, I couldn't wait for school to end, to go home and not go to work...I've never looked forward to a Friday so much...it's not good, if you think about it...showing that I hate work so much...I want a new job, but I'm too lazy to go find one...meh, oh well...I came home, played a lot of Gunbound, and then went to pick Sara up...we went to Uraku at 5:30 and ran into Yi...we made fun of her, with the help of one of the waiters (Chu or Ju)...we also got threatened by her friend, said she'd fuck us up for messing with Yi...Coomes came about 15 minutes later...we ate some sushi, and then we left...I ran into Emma and Emily...after eating, we took Yi home, then dropped Coomes off at Piso's...went to Video Connection and rented "Duplex" which was a horrible movie, by the way...not horrible, but bad nonetheless...but it was fun...then we went driving around...to Texas and Grand Rapids...then we went to DQ and met up with the track team...had a fun time with that, and then I took Sara home...I went home and played some GunBound...Carmen called around 11:30 and we chatted for awhile...finally got to sleep around 3 or 4...

Saturday, I woke up around 7, and then couldn't get back to sleep...went to work at 10, then came home...played GunBound forever...went shopping with my mom, bought some PJ's, two pairs of boxers, and another volume of Escaflowne...was a good trip...I went to get my hair cut, then to Finder's to buy a cd...I then went to church...after awhile, my mom and I went to Meijer and then to the Pharm...we rented "Identity" which was good...I had Luca's for dinner...watched the movie, and then played GunBound...I went to bed, and read some of "The Once and Future King"...Carmen called around 1:15, and we chatted some more...I had been text messaging her most of the day...

Today, I woke up around 10 something, and have been doing nothing all day...my dad recently got home, and he brought me some LP's and a record player...yay for records!

I should be working on my paper...hmm...

Quote of the day:
"Today I know what I want to do but I don't know what for"

Well, as of right now (and not looking as if it's going to change) I'm not going camping as I had wanted to this spring break...I will get to spend time with my aunt though...hopefully (somehow) hook up either with Xiao or Jess...but that seems a bit unlikely to me...but camping sure would have been fun as hell...

Aside from that, my day was suck...so was yesterday...well, most of it...hanging out with friends is fun, and uplifting...last night, I went to keep Carmen company while she worked, and then we (her, Esther, and I) went to Kroger...today, I hung out with Carmen after school and then, after work, I went with Carmen to Esther's, where they discussed their camping trip over our spring break...it was a good time though, we screwed around and stuff...

Work sucks...I found myself wishing for a glass of drano today...or a lot of matches...work sucks, completely...it is good, however, when people come to visit me...doesn't have to be for long...a 10 minute visit is better than nothing...however, it is nowhere written, nor was it ever stated that Carmen is the only person who can visit me (I'm not overlooking the recent visits by Coomes and Amanda. Thanks)...but hey, maybe cheering your friend up isn't worth the gas used to see him...

And you can be certain I won't tell you to go away...

--------------------------------------------------------
Clouds of Worries

In the damp morning, my worries rain down
In the damp morning, my worries rain down
It’s building up, and it seems I may drown

As I make my way through the day, the pounding rain continues
As I make my way through the day, the pounding rain continues
The streets and sidewalks flood, there isn’t much that I can do

School, life, and work are the relentless clouds unleashing their rain
School, life, and work are the relentless clouds unleashing their rain
I finally decide to fight back, and begin looking for the drain

I wade through all these worries and insecurities, continuing to hold my umbrella high
I wade through all these worries and insecurities, continuing to hold my umbrella high
I sure am glad this rain isn’t acidic, otherwise I would surely die

As I stumble and fall into the water, I quickly rise to the top and float
As I stumble and fall into the water, I quickly rise to the top and float
I hear my friends calling, they are coming for me in a boat

Upon getting in the boat, I realized I would have never drowned
Upon getting in the boat, I realized I would have never drowned
When worries set their weight on me, friends will pick me up when I’m down

Well...it's been a few days...not too much has happened...Bassoon lessons are going well...turned in my PSEOP stuff...blah blah blah...been spending time with Carmen, having fun with her...it's nice...and that's it, cause my time is up...expect more next time...

Quote of the day:
"Cats are on the upgrade.
Upgrade?
Hipgrave
Oh, Mac."

Well, today was good...I woke up without much trouble...got to school, and played in band...but then I got to french, and asked Mrs. Kern if I could redo the french paper because I had misunderstood/misheard the requirements...she told me no...*sigh*...not much that I can do there...in Art, we were doing gesture drawings, which were a blast...in math, it pretty much was a study hall for us, because half the class is taking the test today, and the other half tomorrow...the good that comes out of that is being able to dine with Carmen and the others twice this week...

After school, Carmen came home and we hung out for awhile...then I went to work, which was great...I only had to work 2 hours! That is because of the NHS banquet...that was good, had good food (lots of it too) and sat with Ian and Britt and their families...ran into a little bit of trouble (not having the right pin, misspelt name) but it went fine...afterwards, Carmen and I went to Kroger to pick up some stuff...said hi to Sara, and then we came back to my place...we took a nice stroll in the rain and talked about random stuff...that is definitely something I miss...walking and talking with Carmen...

Quote of the day:
"It takes one to be a god
It takes one to feel lonely"

Hmm...Today was kinda bad...I dunno why, but I was extremely grumpy...everything seemed to be getting on my nerves...I couldn't stand my lunch table to day...well, that has been an increasing thing, that they are just annoying and get on my nerves very easily...hmm...but hopefully something changes soon...mabe I'm too stressed...work definitely doesn't help...it just manages to get on my nevers even more...

I really dislike how much of my life is monotony...I work 5 days a week...work is always the same...I'm always shelving books...always alone...

I've not been sleeping well lately...last night was off and on for me, and the night before, I got less than 3...perhaps less than 2 and a half good hours...

Last night, I watched part of War of the Buttons with Carmen, Esther, Ben, and Nick...it would have been nice to watch the whole thing, but sometimes that doesn't work out...and as far as my parents see, since I'm a junior, my curfew needs to stay 9:30...and 12 on weekends...*sigh*

Today, I had cake, because it was Mrs. Dunn's birthday...last years AS class brought in cake...it was nice...I got a 4 out of 9 on my paper for French...I think I'm gonna ask if I can redo it, since I was 100% under the impression that it needed to be only 1 page...hopefully she lets me, but she is a fucking bitch, so probably not...not like she even gave us a rubric...damn...

And now I'm all worked up before work...*sigh*

Quote of the day:
"May I make my fond excuses for the lateness of the hour"

So I haven't updated in awhile...I either didn't have A) the time or B) the motivation...

Friday, we went to districts for band...we got an unexpected rating of 1...now we've got to go to states, play a new song...hopefully we get a 1 at states this year...we have a lot of work to do though...before that, I had chinese for dinner...I had chicken...and I had turkey for lunch...I must be a heathen or something...

Yesterday, I woke up late, went to work late, and left late...after work, I went to Carmen's...we hung out until she left for Liz(z)'s for a movie, and then we went to church...after church, we attended the fondue party, which was mighty good...we were there until 8:30...Dan ditched us though...we came home, and watched the Never Ending Story...it was a good movie...

Quote of the day:
"Many times I've lied - Many times I've listened
Many times I've wondered how much there is to know."

Well...last night was fun...hung out with the girls...first time in a while that I've done that...we saw the Passion of Christ...quite a powerful movie...very moving, very emotional...extremely well done...brought me to tears...brought Stevie and Britt to tears...Sara didn't understand because she doesn't really practice a religion and Daniel's Jewish (I don't mean any offense by that statement) so it doesn't affect him the same...afterwards, we went back to Britt's Aunt's and hung out there...watched American Pie 2...was a fun time...I took Sara home, and then drove around for awhile, waiting for Carmen to get home...at home, got chastised by my dad for "not taking care of myself"...oh well...

I woke up, showered, masturbated, ate eggs, went to the math test...I guessed on practically everything on the test...kinda funny actually...but yeah...I went to work...work was really relaxed...just kinda goofed around with Kristin and Jen...perhaps got a job from Jen, watching her kids sometime...who knows...

Dr. Rowlands and Carmen stopped by work to visit me, and then we ran some errands...he bought us hot chocolate from Grounds...Carmen ran around with me while I got some stuff for my sister's B-Day tomorrow...then I took her home and dropped her off...I was really hoping that we'd be able to hang out after that...we've not spent much time together recently, and I miss it badly...but she seemed like she wanted to hang out with Chris pretty bad so I didn't feel like trashing her hopes instead of mine...plus, we're hanging out later tonight also, after I have my taco dinner with the girls...better not push it I guess, no need to be selfish...

Quote of the day:
"Let me taste
Let me feel
I need to know what you keep inside"

I don't know what has gotten into me recently...I really don't...it just seemed to have happened Tuesday night...I got really depressed...might have been a combination of me being sick...and me being really lonely throughout the days I was home...

Or my dentist's visit on Wednesday...revealed some news...that I've got two cavities that need to be filled, 2 more that need to be watched...first time in 11 years that I've had a cavity...it really upset me...I may have over reacted, I may have not...but I promised myself to never get a cavity again...but it's happened, so there isn't anything I can do about it...except work on the others...and start flossing more dilligently...

It's not good when this happens...

But no longer...I'm done...Carmen doesn't like it when I'm like that...and I've got a feeling no one else does either...but yeah...I'm happy now...so yeah, thanks hun...

Tonight we had band...it was good...I played my solo well, as did everyone else...Ian got the half note...it was good...but we need to work on it, but wel will, and it will be ready by the time we need it to be...yes...it will be ready...it will be good...we will get a superior...

Tomorrow, I'm going to go see the Passion with Britt and whoever else decides to come along...that is, if I can get in...

Saturday, hopefully I'll be eating tacos (after a year in waiting...) at Britt's aunt's house...and then, after that, I will hang out with Carmen...watch Schindler's List if we've got time, or if not, any of the other movies on our list...very long list...

Quote of the day:
"And the unsung Western hero killed an Indian or three
and made his name in Hollywood
to set the white man free.
Oh Jesus save me!"