:: 2003 29 November :: 2.11 am

&Tourn is ten million times better than effigy ever will be {especially when she changes skin -- running running running} I am such a FUCKING poser. Expletive. The rabbit. The cat. The thing made of rot. I couldn't come up with something original if I had a hundred years to do it in. Ego crash? Why yes I will! Thanks for the offer, you little bastard.

She's running all over Deadog trying to make it good but she doesn't get it, it's like putting a pretty dress on a warthog. You're too late, you're always too late . . . figuratively and literally blind. Like a carbon-copy karate man, "hey at least this one has sideburns."

So, uh. The short, short version: Emo eedjit. I suck at everything. Now I cry in the dark with headphones on.

myxomatosis

:: 2003 29 November :: 12.53 am

ghzzz! Purple thing, purple thing . . .
Being lost in a crowd is calming, but frustrating. Blind, gagged, and tied to the floor. You can't let your insecurities overwhelm you, but on the other hand you can't deny that they are there and they are . . . so very very true. The poor girl . . . she thinks that if she changes things it will change everything, but making pretty marks in the skin does not change the chemistry of the beast . . . it does not change its structure. You're born with it or you aren't. I'm not. I have to get used to that.

. . . and of course the little child-mind screams, it wants to be told this isn't so, that it is unique and powerful and no one can live without, but that is what everyone wants and most people don't get it, so too fucking bad. I spit on you, kid.

Not that it changes her shape, either.

Tap the glass and breathe leather. Listen reeeeeal hard. Hear that? It's nothing.

myxomatosis

:: 2003 28 November :: 12.17 am

y||esss{what?}
You were saying: {|||||||||} Something along those lines, anyway. :[[shaddup:blameflcl]]\
--just for that. And they call her a HARElip. "Cunt face." Oh, I can taste it. Yes, dear.
The point being nothing at all, but sometimes it seems like dreams can be renovated and sometimes it seems like I'll never be able to switch my skeleton out for something better. Something made of chiton and ten times as strong. With, like, spikes. You know the way that these things are.
I could so write crap anime. :THISHARD--/
Water water everywhere {stripes} on the ground and in my hair. :PLAID--/
But most importantly, I'm pissed off at being a small fish in a gigantic motherfucking ocean. Saaaaadface.
Then again, tap on the glass. And remember the Oath.
Ha.

myxomatosis

:: 2003 28 November :: 12.16 am

The Cheshires, man. They're everywhere. It's beautiful. I don't know whether to laugh, scream, or vomit. But it was the {} {rabbit, you know the one} and she shot into fits of nothing in particular. {//waitwaitwait, what?¿was my||:}

No, a CAT. Duh.

Heyyy, wake up kids, there's a needle in your eye.
Heyyy, wake up kids, the mirrors are all broken.
Heyyy, wake up kids, you're hip deep in your own shit {and loving it.}
://lessthanastart||tentimesyourend--/

The voice of unreason.

2 in | myxomatosis

:: 2003 26 November :: 12.40 am

a snake. a SNAKE. his black blood.
snakes are a human metaphor for deception.
what are you trying to tell me, cunt? what's with the ten-ton weights?
there is too much rain, and I can't move and I can't stop moving and it's like my teeth are/my jaw is/i can't wrap my mind around it. caught in between fight and flight. i do not approve.
the POINT is.
fuckmeican'tevensayit.

--/

Filth is in the air. Filth is on the wind. Filth is in your eyes. Filth is in your blood. Filth is in the leaves. Filth is on your breath.

Fool. Arrogant fool. To think that you know ANYTHING. All of you. Trying to hard to push your point down their throats. You can't SEE theirs. You won't try to understand it.

Mind you. I'm no better. But I'll still spit rather than speak at you. You disgust me. This disgusts me.

Sayitwithme, cunts. Humanity is spelled W-A-R.

2 in | myxomatosis