cutlip
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2003 11 December :: 2.53am
:: Music: Kokain.x.Rammstein
Girniv.
Feeling particularly down. Beingavirginisn'tbad. At my age it's a feat to be proud of. Sowhy.me? Virginvirginneverneverhadsex. People were laughing about it today: "Virgin's suck"
and
e
t
c
.
I named the creature in me. Vile. Vilevilevilelikemybilebilebile, I feel it rising iiiin my throat. Singsing.
Damnit, snake. You win. You have a name. Vile. Loathingyou. Loathingyou.
I feel like I'm the only person to ever be this way. I feel alienated and strange. Ifeeldead.
2 in |
myxomatosis
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cutlip
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2003 5 December :: 4.39pm
:: Mood: devious
:: Music: Island IN The Sun.x.Weezer
.someshit.
I'm slowly finding myself more and more lost. However, if you recognize it on some levels, it only means that I'm giving in to the commonsocietysociopathisideal.
Also, when we think of society, do we really think that these people aren't JUST.LIKE.US. and that they donotfeel, donothurt, donotunderstand? We use the word "society" so freely because all those hardk0re punkerz meen well omgklol. Society is made up of everyone who has ever thought.
This.. "conformity" ..is something we've created for ourselves for an excuse as to why we act the way we do. There is no real pressing conflict that causes us to stand out from the blue-collar workers. Itjustsoundsbetterthatway.
Wishing the snake would go away. Wishingthesnakewouldgoaway. Why are you talking into my brain? You know I don't listen to you whisper. Youslimyslitheringfuck. You make faceless accusations. And you hate the music. Don'tyou.
Partofme,aren'tyou. I just wish you'd wither up and fucking DIE. [esp]
Am I schizophrenic? Surveysays: .x.
2 in |
myxomatosis
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cutlip
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2003 3 December :: 1.54am
Postingtwice!--
The girls at my school seem to take particular delight in the fact that I go to RHPS. Theysqueallikerabbits.
.//I never mentioned. ButIhate. HATE. Hearingrabbitsscream. Nailsonchalkboard. Likeswallowingsalt.
If I were funnier, I'd be able to say, "I just don't under-staaaaaaaaaand the lay-dees." But. Because I'm not funnier. You'll have to imagine it for yourself.
They gave me the nickname "Monsiuer Strappypants" because I wears pants. Withstraps. And got caught on the stairway rail leading down.
I laughed when I fell on my face, but not afterwards.
10 in |
myxomatosis
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cutlip
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2003 3 December :: 1.47am
:: Music: Keepingupwiththekids.x.Mindless Self Indulgence
Um.umumumum.
I don't get this Cheshire Cat thing. What's wrong with the lovableyetannoying stripey thing?
Keepingup-A-withallofthekids.
2 in |
myxomatosis
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cutlip
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2003 1 December :: 6.41pm
:: Music: Audioslaveaudioslaveaudioslave.
Likeafuckingmusical
WherehaveIheard. Thatname. Before.
WherehaveIheard. Thatname. Before.
WherehaveIheard. Thatname. Before.
WherehaveIheard. Thatname. Before.
WherehaveIheard. Thatname. Before.
It's like a melody, if you say it enough. Dun dun dun DUN, dun DUN, dun DUN. Dun dun dun DUN, dun DUN, dun DUN.
I'm sure this makes no sense. But I'll continue anyway. I'm a creature made of sound. You don't: feelmeseemetastemesmellme. You. Fucking. HEARme.
I am ALWAYS singing. I don't care about what my voice sounds like. I sing. I sing. SING. It's my greatest dream to be in a band. Someday. So somebody can hear my song. I'm tired of relaying my lyrics to the stonewallofanaudience that the internet is.
If: Youcan'thearme--youcan'tFEELme. That's the way it is.
Music is everything. I carry my CD-player with me EVERYWHERE. My tapes. Videos. MP3playerANYTHING. Music. Music. It doesn't matter what type. I'll listen to it. Granted, I don't like ALL music, but I will listen. ByfuckingGOD,Iwilllisten.
But maybe it's because I'm hoping someday someone will see me as special.
I don't want to be generic fluffer numero dos. I don't want to be a janitor with a fancy name to make it sound like my job is all the more worthwhile because I'm FUCKIN' PLANT MANAGER. I don't want to be alone. I don't want to stay in a cubicle. Nolight. Nosound. Nomusic.
I don't want to go down. Without. Afight.
I want to go down singing.
6 in |
myxomatosis
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