Lack of Chinese Adventures & too many applications
I need to start being more adventurous in China. I made it all the way here...might as well have some fun!!

First work on Chinese
Second get some time off!!

hmm

Friends
Friends are essential to survival, is it bad to make non-lasting friendships on purpose?

I will be leaving China soon and I am not sure if its good to invest that much into a friendship that might not last. The problem is that the other guy might be upset...i feel that i am using him! :( I dont like doing that to ppl but i need atleast one person to have decent convos with. In an entire city, there are only a handful of ppl i can talk to. it sux.

BTW: the chinese are idiots. they cant fix a hot water heater...really, come on!

I hate the 9th grade...
These kids are brats!!! UGHHHH!!! I am so upset! I absolutely hated this class! They were so disrespectful and obnoxious!

I understand that their oral english class is the blow off class, but I will not let you walk all over me. If it means that these kids will only say sentences all semester so be it. I have no reason to be nice to these brats if they will not be respectful to me.

And now I will have go deal with Rob. He is a nice guy: white about thirty, not particularily attractive or otherwise. But we got into some deep deep discussions and I think he is likes me now. I do not feel like dealing with some middle-aged man thinking that I am interested or that he even has a chance. I enjoy his company but absolutely no other feelings towards him. I was very specific with my opinion several times but still I dont think he understands. When someone thinks they are a hot shot, they think they are a hot shot! Ugh, its terrible. Because all the fogein teachers here are middle-aged men. Not fun! Although, most of them have chinese wives.

I really have been enjoying my time in China. Like a lot!!! Its really an exciting adventure but this class just hit the wrong nerve. I mean honestly, really on the first day of class act this disrespectfully. Really it is their loss, not mine. I can just change the lesson as needed and they will never learn, it will effect their grades/future not mine.

China is great! The people (other than the 9th grade) are great and very kind.

But, really those lil kids are brats!!

China!
So I have arrived in China. Really so far not that exciting ( I mean it is but an airport is an airport). I don't speak chinese and no one speaks english, so that puts me in awkward situation. I think I keep on getting ripped off but what can you do? I dont know how much it should cost to sit at an interent cafe? or how much tea is or a sim card! But being able to e-mail my parents and go online for a little bit will hopefully make this 12 hour layover a lot easier!

The tea here is weird! Like alot of weird! It just leaves with hot water. I will get used to it but really not tea...you gotta let it simmer and mix together. Whatever I will get used to it and hopefully learn chinese.

So facebook, myspace, and blogging is banned in China. Totally suprised that this website is available (but I dont think anyone uses it). Which is good for me cause I wanted a place to write about my experiences.

I met a really nice girl named becca in LA and she helped me navigate the airport and get everything all set. Without her I would have probably failed some sorta Chinese regulation but overall everything was fine. If you have any type of flu they will quarantine you for 7 days until you are better! (the whole H1N1 influenza scare). I am not sick but the one moment I wanted to cough was infront of the passport lady!!

Everyone told me chinese food was terrible but so far it was good. (Airplane food does not count as chinese food and this terrible tea doesn't either). I had some bao? I dont know what its called (yet!) but its like the bao they sell on the first floor of water tower place. It was delicious, although, I couldn't make out the meat (just hope it wasn't pork, the girl asked for me but not sure the guy understood).

The chinese people are idk. They are very focused on themselves and its obvious. They don't really have customer service here but I really haven't met anyone terrible yet. On the plane, the men helped me with my bag but they weren't very nice about it (except the old man sitting next to me, sadly we didn't exchange one word because of the language barrier).

So I still have 8 hours until my plane even boards! I wish I was rich to spend the time in a hotel but an internet cafe is the best that I can do.

I remember telling my mom, I don't need to take that much food with me on the plane ride...totally should have taken much more because now that I realize I don't really know what is going on and that food is a difficult thing to access I am totally thankful for my mom!

This whole experience is helping me access how difficult it was for my parents to move to america! I know this temporary and I already have a job and I don't have kids..so it isn't at all like their experience. At the same time, I dont speak chinese and they spoke some english so I guess that helps bring the two fields closer. Nonetheless, the hardships my parents felt are still greater than what I will be feeling here!

This should be interesting!

Lost
I feel sick to my stomach and I dont know why..it feels like I did something wrong but I can't figure it out. Ugh..please let it not be a big deal. Inshallah everything will pass and I will go back to the way everything was a month ago....i miss Ramadan!! like alot...its weird cause during it i wanted to end, but now i miss it.

I miss a lot of things

this year is very different

alot is missing!

But, i dont want to replace any of it and will sit here missing it.

Ok 1,2,3 CHANGE.

I know thats not how it works but...its an idea!

I don't know...
so, sometimes i wish the world would make sense. I want the guy i like to like me and the guys that shouldn't like me to go away! its easy right!?!?!? I don't know what happened today...i just acted stupid. I mean i wanted to cuddle just not with him...at all! now, i opened pandora's box and have to deal with that stupid drama! Grr. I really should write my paper but i don't know, i just feel stupid and used!

I don't know whats wrong with my dumbass...i need to get out and get away...maybe i will plan a weekend extravaganza to somewhere!! :) i need a trip...ill probably end up going to Wisconsin...not exciting.

How to fix my life:
1. write paper
2. figure out car situation
3. talk to stupid boy
4.write second paper
5.do presentation
6. take out trash
7. make dentist appt.
8. get NEW contacts!!!!
9. tell theresa the website
10.start studying for the 2 tests on thursday!

That stupid boy
I don't know how i got myself into this horrible awkward situation with this stupid boy. But it goes something like this: he dated my good friend, they broke up, they dated again, they broke up & we hung out....we both liked eachother (but didn't do anything b/c of her), this year we kissed, the next day he says your roommate is going to be pissed...they had something going on before hand, earlier that month they started(like they were kissing and perhaps relationship potential). I dont hang out with him & sorta get over him. Things go back to normal ( i dont like him & stay away from him still b/c im nice & think my roommate forgave me for kissing him, even though, i didnt know anything was going on at the time)

My roommate turns into a psycho bitch...really psycho bitch calling him 5 times a day!! She finally snapped @ me (she was intoxicated), she said she couldn't trust me & basically couldn't believe i wasn't a mind reader and should have known that there was something going on. It pisses me off, so i stop playing nice. i go back to the way me and the boys friendship used to be (it was always a lil flirty and so i let it be, no hurtful intentions just i am allowed to be friends with him and act normal). He has a party at our place and spends the entire time hitting on me (she was there!!) he tries to kiss me a couple of times and sends really really cute text messages. I like him again (prior to the party, but i didn't kiss him or really flirt back, he apologized/asked if i was upset later cause he knew he had fucked up with me). She broke up with him the next morning.

I like him...
he likes me...
she hasn't really talked to me or told me anything...
she has been crying & doesnt want me to know...
this is really hard!!

I am not allowed to ever do anything with him ever, right?? But, i really want to kiss him again and go out on dates....

I dont know how to get over him, how do u get over a boy??

I hate this!!

Ok...so i'm supposed to be writing two papers and studying for a test...and what am i doing???

Take a wild guess!!

I am not motivated this semester to do well at ALL!! I DON'T CARE!! i have to take a bunch of bs core classes that i really don't care about...i just want the world to work!! :P

so random question ( i've been wondering the answer lately and i haven't come up with anything):

why do you wake up in the morning?? what gets you out of bed? why?