:: 2005 31 October :: 9.22 pm
:: Mood: Tired
:: Music: Relient K- Be My Escape

lie awake

:: 2005 30 October :: 4.34 pm

I just love it when people ask me that question....

Not really.

2 shooting stars | lie awake

:: 2005 29 October :: 10.40 am

Okay so lately I've been going picture crazy so now I'm going to post tons more. Some of them are from when I was a baby and some are from two days ago lol

Read more..

2 shooting stars | lie awake

:: 2005 28 October :: 5.23 pm

So today I get one of those calls that I've had before. The ones that you can already tell something is wrong before you even know what's wrong. Yeah, those kind. You proably know what I'm talking about. I had one of those calls when my uncle died during the summer and when my friend Dakota died too and then today I had another one. So I guess my Great Grandma died today which really upsets me because in the past four months she is the third person to die that I've been really close with. Nobody was planning on my uncle dying since he died not even two weeks after I just left him in TN and nobody was expecting this either. I'm really upset about this whole thing and I try not to think about it but people that I love just can't keep dying on me. I can't deal with this for much longer. We aren't sure if we are going to TN for her funeral or not. My dad is taking this really hard and he said he doesn't know if he could handle it, and I don't know if I could either. My dad told me today that he is thinking about going to the funeral but he's not sure so if we end up going we'll most likely fly out on Monday. That's really all I've got.

4 shooting stars | lie awake

:: 2005 27 October :: 10.34 pm

Aww tonight was fun. I got to meet Lisa's boyfriend. He's pretty hilarious and he wanted to go into my barn and let me add that it was dark out and we were all scared, okay so Lisa and I were, he wasn't. So we went out there and then he wanted to go into the basement part of the barn and I started freaking out. I've been down there like twice my whole life and it's been during the day with my family not just two other people. I was scared lol!!

Then last night I had fun even though the play did suck and Brittani Matthews and I shouldn't ever sit by each other at a restuarnt or at a play because we are too damn loud and then the fog stuff about killed us and then we couldn't stop laughing at how they kept breaking character. It was pretty fun though and then on the way there the truck in front of us kept putting his brakes on and we didn't know that his left brake light was out so we thought he was putting on his right blinker every five seconds and Britt and Dani were swearing. It was hilarious and then Brittani was screaming at Justin L. to stop the car because she had to pee and he wouldn't because we were literally like 2 miles away from the community center and so she opened her door and was like "IM GONNA JUMP" and then we got there and H was like "why was the door open the whole way there" lol it was funny and I still can't learn this little Blood thing that Mishy tired teaching me. Oh well but I will post pictures from it sometime this weekend I gotta go.

LOVE ALWAYS, ASHLEY

4 shooting stars | lie awake

:: 2005 25 October :: 12.02 pm

Ohhh..if I only could say what I really wanted to say....

That would be the day.

6 shooting stars | lie awake

:: 2005 24 October :: 6.23 pm

So I just deleted that whole entry about me being upset because I realized it wasn't something I wanted everyone reading.

For about a year now I've kept everything inside of me and I've never told anyone anything too personal just because I've been waiting for the right person to understand how I feel and today I finally found someone who understands me and it's like we can finish each other's sentances. I'm just tired of keeping things bottled up inside of me. I've done that for a year now and today is when it's going to stop. So it looks like my secrets are out.


If I hurt you I'm sorry. Don't think this was easy.
I love you.

I don't anyone to be sad or mad because I've never told them these things it's just I will when I'm ready to tell everyone else

Thank you so much Mishy.

2 shooting stars | lie awake

:: 2005 24 October :: 4.11 pm
:: Mood: Scared
:: Music: Avril Lavigne-Why

3 shooting stars | lie awake

:: 2005 22 October :: 7.21 pm

I JUST THINK YOUR A FUCKING BITCH AND I HATE YOU!!

Nothing personal.

2 shooting stars | lie awake

:: 2005 21 October :: 12.12 pm

We used to be able to talk about everything but now it's hard to start a decent conversation with you. You can't deny things haven't changed, we've grown apart and you have to face the fact that I will no longer be there every single time you need me. The truth is what it is and that is, I do not have anymore respect for you as an individual now, you're just another face in the crowd.

2 shooting stars | lie awake

:: 2005 19 October :: 10.13 pm

Why, do you always do this to me?
Why, couldn't you just see through me?
How come, you act like this
Like you just don't care at all

Do you expect me to believe I was the only one to fall?
I can feel, I can feel you near me, even though you're far away
I can feel, I can feel you baby, why

It's not supposed to feel this way
I need you, I need you
More and more each day
It's not supposed to hurt this way
I need you, I need you, I need you
Tell me, are you and me still together?
Tell me, do you think we could last forever?
Tell me, why

Hey, listen to what we're not saying
Let's play, a different game than what we're playing
Try, to look at me and really see my heart

Do you expect me to believe I'm gonna let us fall apart?
I can feel, I can feel you near me, even when you're far away
I can feel, I can feel you baby, why

It's not supposed to feel this way
I need you, I need you
More and more each day
It's not supposed to hurt this way
I need you, I need you, I need you
Tell me, are you and me still together?
Tell me, you think we could last forever?
Tell me, why

So go and think about whatever you need to think about
Go on and dream about whatever you need to dream about
And come back to me when you know just how you feel, you feel
I can feel, I can feel you near me, even though you're far away
I can feel, I can feel you baby, why

It's not supposed to hurt this way
I need you, I need you
More and more each day
It's not supposed to hurt this way
I need you, I need you, I need you
Tell me

It's not supposed to hurt this way
I need you, I need you
More and more each day
It's not supposed to hurt this way
I need you, I need you, I need you
Tell me, are you and me still together?
Tell me, do you think we could last forever?
Tell me, why



Thats a gorgeous song. It reminds me of someone :(

6 shooting stars | lie awake

:: 2005 18 October :: 11.22 pm

The famous work of Mishy lol

Original Picture:



Her creation:

8 shooting stars | lie awake

:: 2005 17 October :: 6.03 pm

Mishy made this for me. She mad tons more but I'll post them later, since this is my favorite one with one of my favorite songs on it and she just so happened to be so smart and actually put the best lyrics from the song in there too!!




and just in case you are blind or something it says "I want you but I'm not giving in this time" and at the bottom it says "goodbye to you"

Yeah I know, it's cute.

I'm having OC withdrawls....I've watched the first and second season so many times I can repeat every line if you asked me too. I watch it everday. I'm serious. Two and a half more weeks until it's back on.

10 shooting stars | lie awake

:: 2005 13 October :: 7.03 pm

It's not up to me anymore. If you really want me in your life then you'll find a way to put me there.

Yesterday at lunch everyone said that they can picture me living in Laguna Beach and they can picture me being one of the girls on the show. Then today everyone at lunch said they can imagine me being on sweet sixteen and having my birthday party like that. I sometimes can picture those things too lol. Megan was like "your just an MTV'er" lol.

Anyways I'm in a better mood now. Today I stepped on this boys(im leaving his name out of this little thing) foot while we were walking in the halls and then online he goes:

Ashley-feelings I used to have aren't there and for the first time in so long I really don't care. says:
Umm it was kind of boring. I thought I would get in trouble for my skirt being too short but I didn't lol.

Ashley-feelings I used to have aren't there and for the first time in so long I really don't care. says:
How was yours?

anonymous boy:
well this girl in a skirt stepped on my foot

Ashley-feelings I used to have aren't there and for the first time in so long I really don't care. says:
aww why would she do that ;)

anonymous boy says:
i guess she thinks she isn't a bitch or something

anonymous boy:
lol

anonymous boy:
j/p

Ashley-feelings I used to have aren't there and for the first time in so long I really don't care. says:
lol i'm not a bitch!!

anonymous boy:
j/p your not a bitch your a hottie

Ashley-feelings I used to have aren't there and for the first time in so long I really don't care. says:
lol thanks....


He's so sweet.

<3 ashley

1 shooting star | lie awake

:: 2005 12 October :: 8.59 pm

Okay, so weird things keep happening to me and it's not just a coincidence anymore.

I will try to tell all of them if I can remember everything.

Oh and these aren't in any special order either.

I already told this story a while ago during the summer but I'll refresh everyones memory.

1) I was in Detriot and I had a dream that Mischa Barton was on the cover of Cosmo Girl. I woke up and I told my cousins friend about it and she said it would be really scary if she was on the cover of the magazine so that day we went to the store and we checked and she wasn't on the cover of it. I went home like a week later and when I walked in my room there sitting on my bed were all my magazines that I get and on the cover of Cosmo Girl was Mischa Barton and she looked exactly like she did in my dream and the reason why she wasn't on the cover in the stores is because that was that months issue and I get them a month early. So I thought that, that was really freaky considering how I'm obsessed with her. So of all people, it was her. I just don't know.

2) A few weeks ago I was at Sam Ballews and I stayed the night at her house because we had pictures the next day and we wanted to get ready together and then before I left I got into a fight with my mom because my phone charger just went missing out of my room and I wrote about this in woohu too. So before I left Sam and I checked my room everywhere and we took everything out of my bag because we were folding stuff to wear for the next day and putting it in there. I am 100% sure it wasn't in there because everything was taken out of it and Sam can confirm this too. So we get to Sam's and she wanted to use my hair krimper thing so I had to take it out of my bag and my phone charger was not in there..so then in the morning I opened my bag and there on top of all my clothes was my phone charger. I have no idea how that happened and Sam was even freaked out.
3) I had a dream a few weeks ago that my best friends parents were going to get divorced and then she called me a week later crying telling me that they were. (Chloe)
4)I went tanning a while ago with Kourtney and Lisa and Lisas car was broke and my tanning lotion was in her glove box so I asked if I could use my sisters because she has the same exact one and my sister said I could so then in the morning when Lisa picked me up she had her car back so now I had my tanning lotion in her glove box and my sisters in my purse and then after school we went to go tanning and I got mine out because I didn't want to use my sisters since I had my own back and then when we got to the tanning place I couldn't find my sisters and I searched Lisa's car everywhere and Kourtney and Lisa couldn't find it and I swear to god I had them both because I remember trying to figure out which one was mine and then when I got home I went into my room it was sitting on my bed..I was like omg.
5) The other day Lisa and I were at Target and we got into her car to leave and then an alarm went off right next to us and then another one right after, and then another one. I don't know what the point of that was or why it happened but I just thought it was weird.
6) The other day at school Lisa goes "omg I just..." and right before she said anything more I was like "got really dizzy" and she started freaking out because thats what she was going to say. So we both got dizzy at the same time. Odd!
7)Oh and yesterday I was talking to Erika Bauer, DeAnna, and Katie about how I never have subs in school and then today I had three of them. Weird!!
8) I had a dream about police officers and it had something to do with Lisa and then she got a ticket for speeding and then also she said shes been seeing a million more cops that normal and the other day we were on the freeway and she was going 85 and then someone passed us and it was dark by the way and were like "wtf why are they going so fast" and it was a cop and he didn't even give her a ticket for speeding..but that was just weird too.


and I know theres a few more things but I just cant think of them right now so I'll add them when I do.


EDIT

okay so more weird things I thought of.

Before I went to the Red Flannel Pageant with Elyse and Em we were talking about who we thought would win I said Sam, Brittany, and Lauren on my first guess. Elyse was suprised when she found out that my guess was true.

Then a while ago I went and seen Flightplan and before we left the person I went with asked me what I thought happened to the girl and I told them exactly what I thought and it turns out thats exactly what happened but I dont want to say it because it will give it away if you haven't seen the movie. Also I don't really remember how many people on the plane there was but I think it was 400 something and only two people on the whole entrire plane knew what happened to the girl and I guessed the two people.

Weird. Then the other day in the car with Lisa she goes "you know what song I really like" and instantly I said "photograph-nickelback"
and that was the song she was going to say. I don't know how these things happen anymore.............

yay mishy im sooo excited for my pictures and whatever your doing with those songs....

6 shooting stars | lie awake