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2004 13 October :: 3.02 pm
Im watching you disappear but you were never here. I don't know whats worth fighting for or why I have to scream, I don't know why I instigate and say what I don't mean. After all of the fights and lies, your wanting to hurt me....I hate to show that I lost control cause I keep going right back to the one thing that I need to walk away from. I'll never forgive you for all the bullshit.
thats for you.
I should go though and do my homework before Kourtney and I have to go to school to decorate our hallway, which is in 45 minutes. I'll be home around 8 though, so hopefully I'll be able to come online! anyways~ peace out. Ashley*
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2004 11 October :: 9.34 pm
So Chloe calls me tonight bawling. I picked up the phone and I'm like "hello" and shes like "ashley........" I was like "oh god" what happened. Lots of things happened. I'm not naming them since its no-ones business but right now so much is going on with everyone. It's just so hectic and crazy. I'm alright though, things are getting better, I think im happy. I just feel bad for everyone else and all the things they have to go through. I'm just doing my best to be here for everyone and try to help them out if I can. But I should go...peace out
lie awake |
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2004 11 October :: 2.42 pm
:: Mood: happy
That just made my day *smiles* :)..
lie awake |
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2004 8 October :: 5.10 pm
:: Mood: sad
So I get out of school today and I have a voice mail, I listen to it and it was my dad. He said "Ashley, Call me back as soon as you can" so I did. I could tell something was wrong when he called and I knew EXACTLY what happend. I called him back and he said my aunt died this morning. Not the greatest feeling in the world. Lets see I just find out yesterday that she is dying, then today I find out she died. Sunday I found out my dad wants to move, last night I find out we most likely will. I'm stressed out and really upset....god
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2004 5 October :: 9.27 pm
:: Mood: blah
I just read the saddest thing about abortion. I want to cry. http://www.holylamb.com/info.htm go there its sad. and this has pictures and they are extremely sick but I just wanted other people to see how wrong that is and it is gross im warning you. if you keep going to next...http://www.holylamb.com/abortion2.htm
Anyways enough with the sad stuff. Matt is coming up in like a week. I'm so excited. I haven't ever got to meet him yet.
I really cannot believe I'm online. I have hmwk to do and I still have done it yet. I've been on the phone with numerous people all day and I just like to talk I guess...I really should go. I just felt the need to update this.
toodles
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2004 4 October :: 9.08 pm
I could have just died then.
Never will I ever do that again. I've learned my lesson. That probally has been one of the scariest moments of my life. It's like something you see on movies, and then those people die, yeah well that could have been me. I shouldn't have done that. I learned my lesson.
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2004 3 October :: 6.26 pm
Every one sees who I appear to be but only few know the real me, you only see what i choose to show theres so much behind my smile [you just dont know].
lie awake |
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2004 3 October :: 4.42 pm
32 Days, 03 Hours, 24 Minutes, 10 Seconds until The O.C. comes on. starting now.
lie awake |
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2004 30 September :: 8.33 pm
i cant take this any longer..fuck you
1 shooting star |
lie awake |
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2004 28 September :: 8.47 pm
:: Mood: My stomach hurts!
I think I'm okay. I'm not sure. I'm content with what is going on but I wish things were better. You need to make up your mind.
Anyways Chloe cracks me up..she sent me her school picture in the mail and on the enevolpe she didn't put "Ashley Sonego" she put "Ashie Sonego". I started cracking up when I seen it..It was really funny, thats my nickname and so her family all calls me that and so does she. Its cool. But it was a moment where ya had to be there.
My stomach hurts so I don't think I can type anymore on here, it has an effect on what I do..lol im just kidding, i need to go though.
peace out ya'll , ashley*
2 shooting stars |
lie awake |
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2004 27 September :: 9.12 pm
:: Mood: happy
Heres my poem that I wrote for drama that I had to read to my class. Its about Chloe and I which I'm sure you all can figure it out.
Best Friends
She has a best friend who she cares about almost more than anything
They were always together doing what normal friends would do
but then one day everything had to change all of the sudden and so soon
Her best friend moved far far away
they talk on the phone almost everyday
its not the same as her being here all the time
shes still not used to it, and the feeling lost inside.
They get to see eachother once or twice a year,
try doing that, see how it works, and see how you feel
When they get to see eachother its one of the greatest times
untill the day one of them has to leave and go home, they'll begin to cry
All the memories they have together will always last forever
and being miles apart will never make their friendship break apart
and its not easy going through life missing your best friend
but they'll always be best friends till the end'
*Ashley Megan Sonego*
It was cool to write it. I'm in a really good mood right now, things between me and all these people are really good now.
I talked on the phone with Chloe yesterday for like 2 hours.
She has good news.
I leave that part out because I dont know who is all supposed to know besides me and im just rambling on and nobody who reads this knows her but it doesn't matter its just best to keep things to myself.
We are going to go to the bahamas for spring break next year.
Im going to Florida this spring break to see her. I can't wait.
Shes also coming up for christmas and all this other fun stuff.I'm really excited.
4 shooting stars |
lie awake |
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2004 27 September :: 4.11 pm
If anyone has seen my school picture, it looks exactly alike with the picture on here...
Just thought id say that.
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2004 26 September :: 3.43 pm
:: Mood: bitchy
My mom and I have been fighting all day about stupid things.
First it was about clothes when we were shopping then just like 10 minutes ago it was how I was being rude to shane and how he was only trying to help me because his mom is a professtional photographer and we were going to make a profile thing with all my pics in it and i was just in such abad mood when he asked me that i acted like I didn't want it, but inside I wanted it more than anything. I just don't have patience. When I want something I just cant wait. then it was about some stupid modeling thing and I was yelling at her because she never helps me and she was like "I do too" and im like " NO YOU DON'T" and so here I am now. we never fight. what is wrong with me..why am I in such a bad mood.
idk...
4 shooting stars |
lie awake |
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2004 25 September :: 10.16 pm
:: Mood: okay
Good job Erika. I luv you *hugs.
I need to vent
I just am really annoyed. I hate having to see you like this. Why are you acting like your a little kid? Why dont you just grow up for once and be the better person, realize what your doing to the both of us, one day you'll realize it and im going to laugh at you, then you'll understand how I feel. Im younger than you and Im more mature then you are about everything. its sad, your sad.
Your not going to always be here for me..are we friends....our friendship just started and it seems like im just that person that you just say hi to when you want..thats all...
this is about 2 different people.
im done..
i complain alot but I dont care this is my journal and if your sick of me then dont read my journal and whoever the hell said that about them not loving me, fuck you ok.
I don't need to hear it from whoever the hell you are because you can't leave your damn name. FYI YOUR RUDE and dont read my journal either..
stupid people...
anyways...i should go eat...im hungry...
peace out , ashley*
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2004 24 September :: 2.46 pm
I feel like talking about my day, I'm not sure if there is anything that is important or special about it but I'll think of something.
1st Hour- Very boring, is all we are doing is writing a story and mine is about my trips to California (it's supposed to be life changing, but to me, thats life changing). I was going to write about the numorous times I've almost died and do it as someone else was talking like my parents for instance but I didn't.
2nd Hour- Boring also, we have a new girl and shes really nice and always talks to me.
3rd Hour- Ok, Not great but ok. Can they act anymore like 5 year olds? im sure they can. H even agrees with me...
4th Hour- Ok. I don't really like my teacher shes insane. Amanda asked her this:
"Mrs. Ryan have you heard of pine rest?"
"Yes, Ive heard of it but but I haven't ever been there to visit"
I say: "oh so you don't visit the place you go there"
haha
5th hour was umm ok..ryan is obessed with me..it can't get anymore different than that..he always talks about me, he says he wishes we were going out and all this other stuff..im like"mmhhm"
6th hour was stupid..
thats my day and now im at school waiting till i have d/t but I see someone I want to talk to in the hall so im leaving...
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