:: 2004 8 May :: 9.25 pm

Aww... my lil brother is a sweetie..When he got home he came in my room and goes "Ash, well you know how tomorrow is mothers day and even though you arn't my mom you always take care of me so I bought you this" and he hands me a necklace and bracelet..it was the sweetest thing, esp. coming from him!

My other brother was like "hey maybe we all can sleep out in the living room tonight" I was like "maybe" and he goes "and WATCH TOY STORY" im like "NOOO" he knows everyline to that movie i swear to god, its pathetic... yeah thats all I had to say

lie awake

:: 2004 8 May :: 7.20 pm
:: Mood: blah

Just some things to say to some anonymous people.

-1st person- Why do you have to make a huge deal out of everything when your the one who got yourself into those problems?

-2nd person- Your an awesome friend but I hope after that we still stay friends for a long time.

-3rd person- I miss you alot

-4th person- I can't stand you, your the only person in school that I honestly can say I HATE. Your so annoying and never sit still.

-5th person- I hate how no matter what someone does they piss you off.

-6th person- Your hilarious, and you crack me up.

-7th person- I hate how you get mad about the stupidest things.. How pointless.

-8th person- You really confuse me, alot but I like you anyways.

-9th person- Your fucking dumb. Why the hell everytime I get online you instantly sign off, it happend like 3 times today, your retarded and you know that too.

-10th person- Why everytime I get online the second I get online actually, you say hi n say whats up then you just instantly stop talking. Whats the matter with all of you fucking people..

So anyways I think I might go to my dads house later and hang out with erika, maddie, and nick for a while and Haileigh will probally be there too... What a drag..

Yep this weekend so far has been fun and Amanda your baby is really really cute! I love her! hehe

I think I'm out of things to say. ha!

lie awake

:: 2004 6 May :: 8.54 pm
:: Mood: Sick

So anyways I feel horriable. I am so dizzy I don't even know how Im still sitting here. I have the worst headache ever and I can't even think it hurts so much nobody knows and I'm pretty much alone, Well my sisters are here but they aren't much help. I need my mom. I hope I feel better tomorrow because I had plans for this weekend that were important like Friday katy was going to come over but I don't know now because of the way I feel..ugh... then Saturday I was supposed to go to Amandas baby shower and I really wanted to do all those things and if I'm not betteR I can't... I have a doctors appt. tomorrow at like 9:45 or something so I don't know if I'm even going to school, but I want to though because I didn't come to school on Monday and I missed p.e. and then if I dont go tomorrow thats 2 days of missing p.e. and its not like I care about "missing" it, it's just that I have to come in after school to make up all the time I missed which I think is retarded when people are sick we can't help it...
Well thats enough of me talking about me not feeling good.

Yeah it kinda does suck that the show friends is gonna be over but theres one good thing I guess. My uncle lives in California and he works with famous people and does something with commercials or something like that and he knows alot of people like the osbournes *sp*, the cast of friends, madonna, george clooney *sp* and a whole bunch of famous people so last year well he was working with the cast of friends he got me this picture of them and they all wrote me something and signed it too and thats so cool cuz someday its going to be worth alot and now I haVe It! Thats the only good thing but I think thats really cool and he got my cousin one too but mines better lol.

Well I guess I'm gonna go because I can't say anymore i feel like im going to pass out... i hope not..

ash

lie awake

:: 2004 5 May :: 8.13 pm
:: Mood: Calm

Haha wow..

This is gonna be hilarious, a disaster *sp* I might add......, but hilarious, I can't wait....!

lie awake

:: 2004 4 May :: 10.15 pm
:: Music: The t.v (real world)

lie awake

:: 2004 2 May :: 6.53 pm
:: Mood: Bored

Well I'm pretty sure I'm not coming to school tomorrow since the doctor said I shouldn't and this marking period I haven't missed a day yet so I think im gonna stay home!

Well my neighbors found a girl cat and baby kittens in their barn and the mom cat wasn't theirs and it's not ours and the mom cat took all the babies away with her besides one and our neighbor didn't want to try to keep the left over baby alive so my mom, of course decides to try to save it and its still alive. It's in a little cat cage thing on top of our dryer in the laundry room with a heating pad and blankets and it drinks out of a baby animal bottle. I hope it stays alive. We always end up trying to save little animals like baby kittens, baby rabbits, and baby birds and sometimes they've stayed alive and sometimes they die. I'll be sad if this kitty dies. I call it Lucky and I assume its a girl but I have no idea.

So my weekend. Friday after school I went over to Ashleys and hung out with Dan and Renee n stuff then she came over and we went out to eat. So heres a funny story. We were at the resturant and my dad gives me the keys to the car and said Ashley and I could go wait while they pay the bill so we walk out to the car and there was a car parked right next to us and the resturant we were eating at had carry-out and so there is a guy in the passengers seat and the girl is walking out from the resturant with menus and she is watching me to make sure I dont hit her car while I'm opening the car door. How rude. I didn't even come close. Ashley just staired at them for doing that to me. I get in the drivers seat and start the car, not intending to drive anywhere I was just starting it and sitting there listening to the radio waiting for my dad and step mom to come out. Well these ppl are giving me and ashley dirty looks. So the back out and just sit in the parking lot. My dad and step mom come out and we drive away. As we were leaving ashley and I were watching and after we left our parking spot they drove back in the same spot they were just in. So pretty much that whole thing was they thought I was driving..haha funny I know..and they didn't want me to back out and hit their car, which if I was driving I wouldn't because I do know how to drive anyways..I cant believe them. That kinda affended me, I don't have my license yet but I can some what drive. Those losers.

My uncle played a prank on my step mom and dad so late on friday night it was pouring outside which kinda ruined our plans but we made new ones..well my dad has jokes about my uncle chris so me and ash made tonz of signs that would piss him off. So we drove over to his house really late while everyone was sleeping and his car was unlocked so we taped all the signs inside his car and it was covered you couldn't even see the inside of the car and my dad put bricks under the tires so he couldnt back out and rocks in his hub caps I think that what it was and we put toilet paper all around it...it was fun but it was raining out and cars were driving by and watching us..it was funny.

Then on Saturday Ashley and I went to the movies and we were kinda running late so when we got there our movie was just starting so it was completely dark. Well she wanted to sit at the very top and we were at star so it was a big one and there wasn't many ppl in there probally like 7 and so I couldn't see and I was tripping over the seats. Shes like " go all the way to the top and then in the middle" so I went to the top, tripped over half of the seats and I was walking to the middle I didn't see a person there so I went to sit down and I touched the person and I screamed because I didn't know there was anyone there and I touched them and was basically sitting on them. Not funny. Ashleys like "whats wrong whats wrong" and im like" Aaasshhhleeeyy, iiii juuust touchhhed summm1" it was soooo funny so we just went and sat somwheres else but we left as soon as the movie was over because we didn't wanna see who the person was. I seen he was a big fat old dude. not cool.
No matter where anyone goes with me they always have fun because of the things that happen like what I just said.

Then after that we went out to Olive Garden all by our selves. Im proud. hehe. Then by then it was late and we went home.

Sunday my dad woke us up at like 9:00 and was like 'lets go" so we had to go to the medcenter for my eye or w/e and it was not fun. They hurt me, they like flipped my eyelid to see what was wrong and they had to look at it thru a microscope.. After that we went out to breakfast. Then came home and went to bed and woke up and he took both of us home and that was about all.

And thats about all I can say. I think I might get my hair highlighted this weekend and my dad said I can go to cali this summer for a month if I want , and chloe called me today and she wants me to come out to florida this summer so I think Im gonna do that. So things are looking good for the summer.I'll be busy, I hope I can still see all my friends.

lie awake

:: 2004 30 April :: 2.14 pm

So that was exciting. I'm at Ashleys house online while shes upstairs online...we are talking to each other...how cool? I know. Yeah her little brother is throwing bouncy balls at my head... it kinda hurts but hes only 2 so what can I do. Yeah so after school me,adam,tanya,ash,dan,and renee well we were just driving around to waste time and renee was driving and dan all of the sudden screams "STOP" so she slammed on the breaks and 4 of us were in the back with no seatbelts and I swear I almost went through the windsheild.. crazy. Then when we got to her house Dan lives right there and everyone else so we went for this bike ride on the trail because we had seen a huge hut thing made out of sticks and we thought there was a dead body in it or something so it turns out it there wasn't any one in there... darn it. Yeah and we just sat under the bridge and talked. It was fun. Dan is so funny. Yeah thats all for now. I'm going out to eat later with ashley and my dad and step mom...thats all. bye
'

lie awake

:: 2004 28 April :: 8.17 pm
:: Mood: crushed
:: Music: The Reason

lie awake

:: 2004 28 April :: 3.23 pm
:: Mood: depressed

I'm really sad today. Today was a sad day. I don't know what to do about whats going on. Is all I've done is complained about everything but I really can't be happy about anything and when somethings going on then I talk about it, and something is always going wrong so im going to bitch about it as much as I want. I really don't care any more, I don't care about this, him, her, nothing. I just don't care. Nobody understands this, not one person. I've had to go through this once and soon to be twice. I hate this so much, I just wanna cry. This has been going on for so long now I can't take it. I try to be happy at school but all I do is fake it. I'm not. I try to not let this get to me but it has, its gotten to me way too much than it should and it ruins my whole life. I'm sick of it. I really dont know what to do anymore... ......

lie awake

:: 2004 24 April :: 4.16 pm
:: Mood: calm

I have to babysit in a little while. I have to babysit a 4 Month old baby and a 3 year old plus my little brother. I'm kinda scared. This is alot of work. Plus all my family and everyone who came up this weekend are going to the reception so they will be gone really late probally. Yah i'll get paid though. So thats good atleast. Yeah my house is going to be packed tonight. We'll have like 11 or 12 people staying here... ugh... o well. Thats about all for today.
See ya

lie awake

:: 2004 23 April :: 4.52 pm

Okay that was a little weird, well actually really weird.

Okay well I sign on to msn messenger and this girl starts talking to me and I didn't know who she was so shes like this is Nicole from England. And I've never been to England so I have no idea why she has my email. So we talk and she has a brother and his name is Jordan Porter... Well a long time ago I added someone from the email jordanporter@hotmail.com thinking it was Jordan porter from our school but it was that girls brother and the Jordan Porter from our school has an email except it has an m in it so its jordanmporter@hotmail.com so I accidently added the wrong email so yeah nicole and her brother have been talking to me and then she changes her display picture to a picture of me and I'm like "okay how does this girl I don't even know have my picture" and yeah she wouldn't take it off because she said I was pretty, im like ya well thats nice but take it off and she wouldn't and so yeah im like this is weird and then I tell my friend megan and shes like "omg she added me too" and im like okay how does she have my email and megans...and she is a freak and yeah she really is from england because her s/n was like Liverpool is the best and they all talk like it too but Im freaked out...this random girl has my picture...im scared. and now her brother comes on and he wont leave me alone either..he keeps talking..Im gonna delete him.

lie awake

:: 2004 22 April :: 8.42 pm

So Chloe and I established that when she gets her license which will be in like 3 months we are going to take a road trip to California together!

So anyways my day was bad but im done complaining.

Today my dad asked me if I wanted to help him outside by pulling weeds and I would get money..so me and money means shopping so I agreed to help. wow what a trip that was. First my dad was making fun of me by calling me a barbie because I was like eww...and then my brother found a frog and he threw it at me it was gross...so im the barbie now...yeah i umm almost killed my dog today...but it was an accident I swear.... Well heres the story..well there was ppl on the golf course so me and my brother decided to stay in our yard and my dog was out and I hit the ball and it flew right at him...and he jumped but it was soo close to hitting his head and if it hit him I would have felt bad because he would have died...good thing I didn't..that was my day.

lie awake

:: 2004 22 April :: 4.15 pm
:: Mood: pissed off

why is this a huge fucking deal to everyone?

lie awake

:: 2004 22 April :: 11.16 am

God......I'm so pissed off right now, I just don't even want to be here today. Today has been a bad day and it's still not over yet. People are really annoying me and someone is being an asshole too. I'm sick of all these people here at school...It's about time for things to be over.

lie awake

:: 2004 21 April :: 6.16 am
:: Mood: tired

I really don't wanna go to school....today.Yeah, I have to go get ready now.

lie awake