:: 2004 28 March :: 10.32 pm

What is your favorite..
gum:	Juicy Fruit - Strappleberry
restaurant:	Olive Garden
drink:	Water
season:	Summer
type of weather:	Hot
emotion:	Happy
thing to do on a half day:	Hang out with my friends
late-night activity:	Talk on the phone
sport:	Basketball
city:	Los Angeles
store:	I don't know
When was the last time you..
cried:	Today, In the car
played a sport:	Today with my little brothers
laughed:	Today
hugged someone:	Today
kissed someone:	Today
felt depressed:	Today
felt elated:	huh
felt overworked:	today
faked sick:	not for a long time
lied:	I dont know
What was the last..
word you said:	hi
thing you ate:	taco bell
song you listened to:	I can't remember
thing you drank:	Pop
place you went to:	Detroit
movie you saw:	Dirty Dancing or Secret Window
movie you rented:	?
concert you attended:	?
Who was the last person you..
hugged:	Family
cried over:	Not saying
kissed:	Family
danced with:	I dont know
shared a secret with:	Alot of people
had a sleepover with:	sleepover..uhh sure
called:	Chloe
went to a movie with:	Martha
saw:	My dad
were angry with:	friends
couldn't take your eyes off of:	orlando bloom on the tv of course
obsessed over:	orlando bloom
Have you ever..
danced in the rain:	No, cant say I have
kissed someone:	yeah
done drugs:	no
drank alcohol:	ya
slept around:	no
partied 'til the sun came up:	ya
had a movie marathon:	ya
gone too far on a dare:	ya
spun until you were immensely dizzy:	ya who hasnt
taken a survey quite like this before:	yeah I think so

The Favorites, Have-You-Evers.. and Last Times! Oh, the variety! brought to you by BZOINK!

lie awake

:: 2004 28 March :: 9.41 pm
:: Mood: stressed

I feel like my whole life is crashing down on me right now.

So many things are going wrong. It's depressing. Amanda is leaving our school.. I wont see her for a long long time. My friends just keep moving or leaving school. Its horriable. I wish I wasn't in high school. It was a mistake. Ever since I started, my life became depressing. It's all because of the new friends I made. They either lie to me, move, or w/e the reason is but they just cause more problems for me.
I've gone through more shit that most of you cant even relate to.
I miss Chloe more than anything in the world but I will see her in a few days, Im looking forward to that but what I'm not looking forward to is leaving. Shes my best friend, Nobody understands, Nobody takes her place, Nobody compares to her. Shes the greatest friend anyone could ever have. Nobody here at Cedar has ever been as good of a friend, they dont try.

I am getting really sick of going to Detroit. I've gone there in the last 2 months probally 5 or 6 times. I was there this weekend. I have to go down there thursday night to catch our plane to Florida then drive home. Thats 2 more.

I feel so stressed out and depressed. This week is going to be really crazy. I have a huge health project that is due on wednesday that is worth 400 points and my partner and I haven't really even started. I've done some stuff but they dont do anything. Useless people. I still have to go get some little stuff for Florida and pack all my stuff- and to me thats alot.

Im really begining to miss alot of my friends that moved. Chloe, Erin, Sam. My cousins Lindsey and Brina. Lindsey was like a friend to me. I miss people..It hurts.. :( The sad thing is, I know I wont ever see Sam again and Erin either. I'll see Lindsey and Brina this summer when I go to California.

The people I need most to talk to about things, arn't around. They arn't here to talk to. Nobodys online that I actually feel like takin the time to talk to about some stuff.

Anyways, This weekend ...well I dont know.
Friday I went out to eat and babysat. Saturday..I drove to detriot and went to my soon to be uncle's and aunts house. The whole point of going there was to see my new cousin. Hes adorable. Hes 4 months old today. I get to babysit him on April 24 because everyone is going to some wedding. I dont know...today was a long ride home sitting in the car with my two little brothers...half of the time 1 of them wouldn't shut up. I cant take him (brandon) anymore...hes just to young for me, I don't have the time or patience * however u spell that.. to deal with him.. anyways...I counted but we went out to eat like 5 times this weekend...no joke. wow..thats crazy. Yeah on sunday (today) I sat in church for like 5 hours.....well maybe im exaggerating a little it was more like 2 hours, I guess...

I shall be going now.....amf

lie awake

:: 2004 25 March :: 9.16 pm
:: Mood: sad

Omgosh, Why do things always happen for the worse. Why do my friends have to move away all the time. I swear all the friends I make move. Chloe, Erin, Amanda (soon), Sam- This is crazy....... *cries*

aww.........

Ash

2 shooting stars | lie awake

:: 2004 23 March :: 6.31 pm
:: Mood: sick

-Lying beside you
here in the dark
Feeling your heartbeat with mine.

We sailed on together
We drifted apart
And here all by my side

So now I come to you
with open arms
nothing to hide
belive what I say
So here I am with open arms
hoping you see what your love means to me-

lie awake

:: 2004 22 March :: 9.37 pm
:: Mood: bored

I've been counting down the days until Spring Break. I'm sure alot of people have. Im so excited but then again im so nervous, I always get scared to fly in planes even though I've done it many times. I always have this fear that our plane will crash. It's like my biggest fear. I'm terrified.

Emily Esch is now coming to our school. It will be cool. I've known her for a while from Megan n all them.

Amanda cant leave me......i'll be stuck here with all these other boring and dumb people......why do I always make new friends or just make friends and stay friends with people and then they leave and move away ........... Everything always gets ruined. Why do I have friends? Thats the question....answer it..?

lie awake

:: 2004 19 March :: 10.23 pm
:: Mood: sad

I hate myself. Why can my sister be so pretty and not me.....? It sucks..it really does.

lie awake

:: 2004 19 March :: 5.17 pm

God my stepmom is a fucking bitch. I hate her so much. I cant stand her anymore.

lie awake

:: 2004 19 March :: 8.01 am
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: My Immortal

lie awake

:: 2004 16 March :: 9.25 pm
:: Mood: Annoyed

I can't believe this. It's like I always have to do everything first but If I don't then this "person" can't do it back. I know no-one understands what I'm saying but I do-thats all that matters and the person that is reading this will know too.

It always seems like when things start to get better then they just go right back down. Nothing ever works out as planned and things always get frickin ruined from people that just don't "try" anymore. "Who cares about this " right? Ya the fucking nerves they have.

Anyways...I need to stop thinking about that. It's not any help.

I think I'm going to the game tomorrow but I'm not sure. I have a ride but just not a ticket yet so hopefully I can get a ticket so me and a few ppl can go to the game! As planned........??

Well this is enough to write so I think i'll be on my way... AMF!

Ashley

lie awake

:: 2004 15 March :: 1.01 pm

I'm at home while all you suckers are at school!

lie awake

:: 2004 12 March :: 4.31 pm
:: Mood: hungry
:: Music: The T.V. -spongebob

lie awake

:: 2004 11 March :: 3.12 pm
:: Mood: sleepy

I'm going to the play tonight. Thats all.
I have nothing to say. Bye

Ashley

lie awake

:: 2004 10 March :: 9.31 pm
:: Mood: Missing someone

I miss somebody. ALOT - It's not the same anymore. Life is diffrent without them. But things will be okay. We will be friends some day. --Some Day -- ??

right.....


Ashley

lie awake

:: 2004 9 March :: 11.26 am
:: Mood: bored
:: Music: Kids

lie awake

:: 2004 8 March :: 8.51 pm

Lets all CRY about it.

Friends just make you feel worse. They don't do anything. They just make you feel like your such a horriable person. I hate it. Im sorry for what i've ever fucking done to anyone.

Ashley

lie awake