:: 2004 6 March :: 10.36 pm

-Die for love-
I sit in the park where I dwell
For this boy I love so well
He took my heart away from me
Now he wants to set me free
I see a girl on his lap
He says things to her he never said to me
I ran home to cry on my bed
Not a word to mother was said
Father came home late that night
He looked at me from left to right
He saw me hanging from a rope
He took his knife to cut me down
And on my dress a note was found:
Dig my grave Dig it deep
Dig my grave From head to feet
And on the top place a dove
And remember this, I died for love…

***Total JERK***
You pissed me off
You made me mad
You made me cry
You made me sad
You lied to me
You made me hurt
You made me see
You are a total JERK!

lie awake

:: 2004 3 March :: 3.14 pm
:: Mood: pissed off

I cant even begin to explain how mad I am. I really am starting to hate alot of my friends. They are use less people who just cause more drama in everyones life. People always say stuff behind your back but they wont ever come up to you and say it. Thats what really bothers me and besides that. Some of my friends think* that they can just come into a fight or problem between me and another person and try to get into it. They have NOTHING what so ever do with any of it so why do they have to do that - So annoying. Thats pretty much all thats really on my mind. Im done-

Ashley

lie awake

:: 2004 1 March :: 4.40 pm
:: Mood: sad

The truth hurts.

lie awake

:: 2004 29 February :: 9.00 pm
:: Mood: Crushed

So my weekend was actually pretty fun. I thought about alot of things like friends and guys. It was interesting.

So friday I went to the game which was fun. I went to the dance too but it was the worst one I've EVER been to yet. I was crying-everybody seen me. I don't care though, I don't care if they see me cry. It was horriable, I can't believe what happend. Bitch.
After that drama, katy came over and we just watched movies and hung out.
Saturday we went to the movies and we went out to eat and we rented some more movies.
Sunday we played hockey and watched another movie and hung out. Pretty much nothing on today. I had fun tho.

Ive said enough about everything- you get it.

lie awake

:: 2004 27 February :: 3.37 pm

Fuck you. Im getting really tired of all this.

2 shooting stars | lie awake

:: 2004 24 February :: 9.07 pm
:: Mood: bored

I feel like I should update this thing. I don't know what to say. I haven't had anything to say in the past 2 weeks.....
-School is fine...boring as hell-dreadfull
I like drama thats about it. Mrs. Babbit scares me.

Im not really fighting with any of my friends which is a good thing. Everything is basically going fine with them.

Everything is just "fine". I guess....
Im kinda sad about some things..but i'll get over them...I'll manage.
I have nothing else to say so I guess i'll be off now.....bye

lie awake

:: 2004 24 February :: 6.41 pm

Im sick of this journal.....Im gonna make a new one, I just dont know what its going to be yet...??

lie awake

:: 2004 18 February :: 8.21 pm
:: Mood: Sick

Im sick.

lie awake

:: 2004 16 February :: 4.52 pm

Yeah my break was long but it was fun.
On Thursday I went over to my dads house and spent the night and pretty much hung out there with my 2 lil brothers...boring, very boring then I slept all day. Then we went out to eat to Olive Garden and after we went to Maddie and Erika's house. Then on friday I sat in the car for 3 hours and drove to Troy. Then by then it was late so me and my cousins just watched Pearl Harbor. Then on saturday we went over to a guy named Ricks house and then we hung out and went out to dinner. Then everyone got drunk...but I wasn't...im a good kid..
Then on sunday we went to the somerset mall which is huge..its got 3 floors and yeah went shopping and out to dinner again. Then today we went shopping again and got our nails done........ and thats it so far and every day since i've been here I have had starbucks! crazy i know but starbucks are awesome. Thats really it. Im getting homesick. I want to go home soon. Yeah thats all........ bye

lie awake

:: 2004 10 February :: 9.15 pm

Why is it every guy I like someone has to like him too. This happens to every person. It's so annoying. In every time its one of my fucking friends. From now on im just not going to tell anyone. Maybe that will fix the problem. Idk....
fuck
you

lie awake

:: 2004 8 February :: 5.34 pm
:: Mood: Tired

Swirl
Well Swirl was fun. It could have been better but it was over all pretty fun. Before Swirl like 12 people went over to Megans including me and ate and hung out and got ready of course.
At swirl I finally got to dance with 1 of the guys I like. I danced with other guys but I dont like them more than a friend so it was important It was awesome. He was a little tall but I managed. It was weird though..I looked around and everyone else that was slow dancing were like really far apart but me and him were like on top of each other...not that its a bad thing lol....but yeah it was cool I was happy.... but ya know I still wanted to dance with a few other ppl that I liked but dancing with 1 guy that I like is better than none....right?
Well I have to go , Just thought I would tell everyone that...Bye
~ash~

lie awake

:: 2004 6 February :: 9.51 pm
:: Mood: hungry

Well Im really glad we won the basketball game. I was so scared. I thought we weren't gonna win. But we did!

So much for everything he said he made me believe him and then at the game ,it all was lies. Lies, Lies, Lies. Bull shit. Screw it.

Well Im going to the mall tomorrow then to Megans house then to Swirl. Im "kinda" excited. In a way ....

Anways back at the game my friends and I were sitting there and I was looking the other way and then all of the sudden this little boy was reaching down my pockets im like "What are you doing?" Hes like "give me money, Give me some" I was like "hell no, get away from me" then a while later I felt someone playing with my hair and I thought it was one of my friends and it was that little boy again so I screamed. He was so weird. I have no clue who he is... Crazy little child.
And so me and Sam Ballew went into the lunch room during the game to get Travis because we had to leave and Mr. Kloote came in and was like "girls, this isn't a social time, you need to get out, this is ONLY for the B-ball players. And im like "yeah we need to get travis , gotta go.. and hes like I dont care go back into the game... so we just said fuck you and went and told her mom and then sams mom was like " I don't apprieciate you telling them what to do, Sam needed to get her b/f , We have to leave... and shes like dont get lippy with me blah blah blah..it was great.....then heres another thing me, brittany, and megan were walking to the bathroom and brittany was pretending to trip collin and caleb while they were carrying a table and mr. kloote seen her and he gave her some chairs and was like "here, now since you just did that you can carry these over there -->" and shes like" I was just messing around they are my friends" and hes like " Be a good role model" im like yeah Okay?? Then she had to stop to talk to someone and he was like "GET OVER THERE THOSE LADYS NEED TO SIT DOWN" im like holy shit dude chill....

Yeah im kinda pissed off once again... People always piss me off.....

Im really tired and I have to get up really really early which sucks ...thats why Im home because if I didn't have to be then I most likely wouldn't be here......Well thats all

~ash~

lie awake

:: 2004 4 February :: 3.08 pm

I don't know how much longer I can take

Sitting here shaking
I can feel the tears in my eyes
My head is spining I cant even think
I hear nothing
not even the teacher talking
I hate it... just wanna leave
then the tears come out
everyone asks "whats wrong, whats wrong babe?"
Dont know what to say..... cant think...dont know what to tell them.....dont wanna talk about it...... just leave me alone.

4 shooting stars | lie awake

:: 2004 3 February :: 2.59 pm

I hate him.

lie awake

:: 2004 1 February :: 9.02 pm
:: Mood: tired

Anyways...speaking about guys...I really like someone. He already knows....dont know how but someone told him recently so I don't know....I was going to dance with him at the dance on Friday and he already asked me and then there wasn't anymore slow songs so that kinda messed everything up..........something always does.
Well this weekend I went to the Game then on saturday I was at the mall all day and then on sunday I didn't really do anything except sleep and I went out to eat and kinda some more shopping.........that was really it.....I don't wanna go to school tomorrow.......I miss chloe........60 more days till I see her...her moms friend is coming down too and she has 2 kids Katie(14) and Hilary (11) so yeah we'll have fun ........thats really all.........

~ash~

4 shooting stars | lie awake