:: 2006 15 February :: 9.36 pm

Aww tonight was fun *smiles*.

lie awake

:: 2006 14 February :: 11.30 pm

I can't sleep.
I don't even know what to say. I really think you lied to me. It doesn't even make a difference though. You'll get what you wanted. I wont. End of story.

Well I've heard it all before and i'm tired of all the lies.


You definitely dissapoint me. So much.

I guess now I know how you feel.

Sorry.

4 shooting stars | lie awake

:: 2006 14 February :: 4.44 pm

The things I thought you'd never know about me were the things I guess you always understood.

lie awake

:: 2006 10 February :: 5.28 pm

So I kind of have a differen't Spring Break plan. Lisa and I were going to go to Atlantis in the Bahamas this year but my dad decided that he want's us to go next year and it will be our graduation present so that's next year and he said he'll probably let us go by ourselves if we wait until next year so that's even better. He promised that we can go next year so i'm really excited for that. This year he wants us to stay in the U.S. haha so we are going to Florida. I'm pretty excited for that too. We can't decide which day we want to leave to go there. We have to leave Florida by April 7th because my grandma is going to go to where my family is from (Italy) so yeah she's pretty lucky she's going there.

So I guess that's really all. Spring Break isn't all that far away. I can't wait!!

5 shooting stars | lie awake

:: 2006 8 February :: 10.19 pm

Call me out
You stayed inside
One you love
Is where you hide
Shot me down as I flew by
Crash and burn
I think sometimes you forget where the heart is

Answer no to these questions
Let her go, learn a lesson
It's not me, you're not listening now
Can't you see something's missing?
You forget where the heart is

Take you away from that empty apartment
You stay and forget where the heart is
Someday if ever you love me you'd say it's okay

Waking up from this nightmare
How's your life, what's it like there?
Is it all what you want it to be?
Does it hurt when you think about me?
And how broken my heart is

Take you away from that empty apartment
You stay and forget where the heart is
Someday if ever you love me you'd say it's okay

It's okay to be angry and never let go
It only gets harder the more that you know
When you get lonely if no one's around
You know that I'll catch you when you're falling down
We came together but you left alone
And I know how it feels to walk out on your own
Maybe someday I will see you again
And you'll look me in my eyes and call me your friend

Take you away from that empty apartment
You stay and forget where the heart is
Someday if ever you love me you'd say its okay
It's okay
It's okay

2 shooting stars | lie awake

:: 2006 8 February :: 5.03 pm

Pictures:

Read more..

7 shooting stars | lie awake

:: 2006 7 February :: 10.44 pm
:: Mood: TIRED

The Play
Mishy's comment:

Re:, 02-07-06 10:21pm
You did too, I'm very proud of you.

You're on your way.
Remember me when you're famous, and remember the knives stabbing your back if your turn it to the audience hahah :)

Mishy would always tell me that to prevent me from turning my back to the audience and it would always work, so thank you.

I'm sad the play is over just because it was fun while it lasted but i'm also glad it's over because I really am exhausted with the practices and everything. I'm tired. We all did it, it's over and done with. It was awesome tonight. The talent in our class is great. I think everyone did a good job.

I was a lot more scared tonight than last night. I knew a lot of people there so it made me nervous. I seen a lot of people who I haven't seen in a long time so that made me really happy.

There's nothing like that.

I just wanted to let you know that i'm really dissapointed in you.

I have to go to bed. I'm falling asleep here.

4 shooting stars | lie awake

:: 2006 6 February :: 9.30 pm

The play was awesome. Good job to everyone. We all did wonderful!

I was so scared before my monologue. I kept going over my lines in my head and I would completely forget them. I thought I was going to throw up and I really didn't enjoy how close the audience was. H wanted it to be "personal" and it definitely was personal enough for me when people were not even a foot away from my face. I'm also proud of myself and I never missed a single line. I know I need to talk slower though but I just get so nervous I talk really fast.

Tomorrow is the last night of the play. Thank god. I'm so tired of practicing and staying up late to memorize my lines. I'm happy that it will be over and it was an expierence i'll never forget.

3 shooting stars | lie awake

:: 2006 5 February :: 5.51 pm
:: Mood: Tired/Exhausted
:: Music: Jimmy Eat World-Futures

4 shooting stars | lie awake

:: 2006 31 January :: 5.20 pm

I can't stand Ms. Eilola anymore. Yesterday she wouldn't let me take a test because of an un-excused absense which I previously stated and I sort of understand her reaons but, then again I don't. Anyways, that's not my point. My point is that today I asked her if I could make up a differen't test that I also missed while I was out of school with mono and she told me no because it was too late. She can't just tell me I can't take a test. My grade was an A and now it's a C all because of that test I missed. I'm going to talk to Mr. A about it tomorrow I guess. She's dumb, I'm pissed, that's all there is to it.

I don't really have anything of importance to say. I can't believe H actually asked me if I was pregnant. Too bad i'm NOT.

I'm going to the game tonight with Emily, Logan, and Trisha. I have to drive because we all decided we don't want to die with Logan since he almost killed us the other day. He's a bad driver, not as bad as Dani though. You gotta love her.

lie awake

:: 2006 30 January :: 8.16 pm

The worst part about being lied to is knowing I wasn't worth the truth. Oh well, whatever.

I've ate so much food today. I went out to lunch with Dani and we went to Arbys. Then when I came home I ate tons of chocolate chip bananna bread. After that I ate popcorn chicken. After that I ate shrimp and french fries from Red Lobster (I went there this weekend). Then after that my dad brought me fettichini alfredo *sp*, key lime shrimp, and oreo cheesecake. So I ate all that too. Haha I eat all the time. Stacy does too haha. I don't understand why i'm not fat. Seriously. I'm not complaining though, I just don't understand.

Ms. Eilola is really getting on my nerves. We have a student teacher so Ms. Eilola isn't even in our classroom and today she was standing outside the classroom like a little spy and she was looking into the little window on the door because when I came out she goes "Ashley, do you value your i-Pod?" and i'm like "yeah I guess" and she goes "well are you allowed to listen to it in school?" and i'm like "yeah, I am" and she got all pissed because I was being a bitch right back and she's like "no your not...next time I see you with that out i'm going to take it away" I was just like "okay haha w/e". So after that I walk away and then Josh comes out and I heard her say "Josh, do you value your cell phone?" I was like c'mon seriously shut up. She just finds ways to make everyones lives miserable, like mine isn't miserable enough!?!?! When she asked me if I valued my i-Pod I should have told her no because I can just buy a new one. That would really piss her off. So then I was pissed about that and our student teacher told me to come in during seminar to make up a test we had on Friday. So I come in and when I get there she tells me i'm not allowed to take it because Ms. Eilola said so. She's like "Ms. Eilola said you're not allowed to take it because you have an unexcused absense for Friday" That's so dumb. So because I wasn't in that class on Friday I get a zero for my test. Um ok. I wasn't really aware things work that way.

It really starts to hurt when I pretend that it doesn't. I try hiding it but I can't pretend it doesn't matter anymore. It does. Everyone can see all the things I don't want them to see. It happens. It's obvious. End of story.

6 shooting stars | lie awake

:: 2006 30 January :: 6.04 pm

You make me sick. I can never trust you again. Everything I thought was real, turned out to be all a lie.

It doesn't matter what you do, it's what you did thats hurting you. All I needed was the truth, now i'm gone.

Seriously, for all of us, grow up.

2 shooting stars | lie awake

:: 2006 29 January :: 9.50 pm

I don't know why I always do these when I get bored.

Today did you...

1. Talk to someone you liked: It doesn't matter if I like them anymore.

2. Buy something: Nope.

3. Get sick: I’ve been sick.

4. Sing: Yeah.

5. Make out: Yeah, because I have mono!?!?

8. Talk to an ex: Yeah basically.

9. Miss someone: Yep.
___________________________________________________

Last person who....

10. Slept in your bed: Danielle Hansing always sleeps in my bed but this weekend I made Kelli and Elyse both sleep on the floor.

11. Saw you cry: My mom seen me crying today. Well she didn’t really see me cry but when I got home I could tell she noticed I was crying.

12. Made you cry: I'm pretty sure he knows who he is.

13. Went to the movies with?: I don’t remember.

14. You went to the mall with: Elyse
____________________________________________________

16. Ever been in a fight with your pet: No.

17. Been to California: Yes!

18. Been to Mexico: Cancun!

19. Been to Canada: Yeah.

20. Been to Europe: Nope.
___________________________________________________

Random.....

21. Do you have a crush on someone: No.

22. What book are you reading now: A Gossip Girl Book.

23. Best feeling in the world: Being happy.

25. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal: No.

26. What's under your bed: Purses.

27. Favorite sports to watch: Basketball.

28. Location: Mi casa.

29. Piercing/Tattoos: My ears.

30. What are you most scared of right now: We wont go there.

31. Where do you want to get married?: Not sure.

32. Who do you really hate?: I only hate one person and she isn't even worth mentioning.

33. Do you have a job: Haha yeah right.

34. Do you like being around people?: Yeah most of the time.

35. Have you ever liked someone u didn't have a chance with?: Looks that way doesn't it?

36. Have you ever cried: What kind of question is this? Obviously everyone's cried.

37. Are you lonely right now: Not really.

38. Song that's stuck in your head right now: So sick of love songs, so tired of tears, so sick of wishing you were still here.

40. Gotten beaten up: No.

42. Been on radio/TV: TV a few times but not the radio.

43. Been in a mosh-pit: No.

44. Ever liked someone, but u think they never noticed you? No I’m pretty sure if I like someone then I will make them notice me.

45. Ever liked someone who treated you like shit? Yep.

-------------------------------
Everyone has their firsts....

1. First real best friend: Probably Chloe.

2. First school: I don’t remember what it was called.

3. First screenname: I don’t remember. It was something about being a spoiled brat.

4. First funeral: I’ve been to so many I don’t even remember.

5. First big trip: I don’t know maybe Florida or Cancun or Cali. I can’t remember.

6. First flight: I don’t remember.

7. First celebrity love: I don’t know.

8. First job: I’ve never had a job.


*Everyone also has their lasts...

1. Last person you hugged: My dad!!

2. Last song you heard: Fall To Pieces. It makes me sad.

3. Last car ride: A few hours ago.

4. Last time you cried: Today. Jeez.

5. Last movie you watched: Wedding Crashers

6. Last food you ate: I haven’t ate all day.

7. Last person of the opposite sex that you talked to: Ian.

8. Last item bought: Clothes at the mall yesterday.

9. Last shirt worn: a pink abercrombie tank top

10. Last phone call: Emily Sorensen called like an hour ago.

11. Last text message: like five minutes ago

12. Last thing you touched: Keyboard

13. Last Funeral: My uncles.

14. Last time at the mall?: Saturday.

15. Last time you were excited about something? I’m not excited for anything anymore.

16. Last person you saw: Sister.

17. Last thing you said to someone: I said "So Em wants to hang out on Tuesday okay?"
18. Last person that broke ur heart: Like I would really put his name here.

19. Last time you've been happy: A while ago.

lie awake

:: 2006 29 January :: 12.58 pm

I looked away
Then I look back at you
You try to say
The things that you can't undo
If I had my way
I'd never get over you
Today's the day
I pray that we make it through

Make it through the fall
Make it through it all


And I don't wanna fall to pieces
I just want to sit and stare at you
I don't want to talk about it
And I don't want a conversation
I just want to cry in front of you
I don't want to talk about it
Cuz I'm in Love With you

You're the only one,
I'd be with till the end
When I come undone
You bring me back again
Back under the stars
Back into your arms


Wanna know who you are
Wanna know where to start
I wanna know what this means

Wanna know how you feel
Wanna know what is real
I wanna know everything, everything

And I don't wanna fall to pieces
I just want to sit and stare at you
I don't want to talk about it
And I don't want a conversation
I just want to cry in front of you
I don't want to talk about it
Cuz I'm in Love With you.

:: 2006 27 January :: 4.09 pm

So we pretty much got caught. It was bound to happen anyways. I just feel bad now but somehow I always do.


Last night I was driving and Elyse wanted to steer my car so I was letting her and when she turned she hit a snowbank. It was hilarious.

The cemetary thing didn't go so well today. Never ever go in one of those. It was just a bad idea.


And no I'm not going bowling. Everyone knows I hate bowling so if I wont go for anyone else i'm sure as hell not going for you.

You probably should stop making this into something it's not and just believe me when I tell you that I don't.

Anyways i'll update more later I gotta go to Brittanys.

lie awake