Could it be any better than this?
I am thankful to the Lord for the life he has given me. In my 21 years of life, I've been exceedingly blessed! I believe He pours blessings into all of our lives, and it's up to us to discover and praise them, or wish we had more and ignore those already in front of us.

I've had my time of bad choice after bad choice, from my middle school years up until high school graduation. I've had my fair share of causing more trouble for myself than ever needed, tangling my life up in lies and changing my mind, I've had my fair chance to destroy and damage relationships and friendships, my fair share at having pour respect for myself, my time of being the most selfish person who couldn't be happy for anyone else who had something physically or emotionally that I WANTED, I've had my fair share of finding a way at being depressed about every little thing like my life was never good enough, I've had my FAIR share at complaining about everything that ever came into my life, because of course....it SHOULD have been better, and OF COURSE, I deserved more than what I was given, the list goes on.

Then I found God, and really gave my life to living in the fact that I trust him above all other things. Although it isn't close to being easy sometimes...and I fall short every day, I put him before all other things my marriage, my realtionships, my dreams, my future, and I trust that his path for me is the right one, that leads to the most meaningful blessings. As soon as I started living for God, immediatly my entire life changed. My relationship with my family was restored, my friendships became many, blessed, and strong, the respect I had for myself changed drastically, and then along came my husband, and along comes my first child. I owe everything to God! I thank Him, and praise Him!

I don't know what it is about this morning, but I woke up, ready to just ENJOY everything. From the food I put in my mouth, the house stuff I needed to get done for the day, the finicial list of to do's, to the book I'm reading. Today I am happy. "Today is the day that the Lord has made, we shall rejoice and be glad in it."

It isn't always easy to find the good when it feels or seems like so much bad is going on around you, but if you really look at whats REALLY important, and that you are loved, you have food in stomach, a place to call home, family, friends, and above all things a Lord and Creator who LOVEs each and everyone of us, would do anything for us, such as die for us, how could you still salk in misery and sorrow?

My life is by no means perfect to the standard of today's word. We don't have a lot of money, I am searching for a job...already over 4 months pregnant, I have no idea how long we will be in this house...that gets broken into and cars broken into all the time, I've been immensly hurt by those I love in the past, neither of us has a dream career/job, we don't drive nice cars, can't go out and do whatever we want on the weekends as we have abudget we are strickly trying to stick to, the list goes on. And YET I would consider my life in the sense of what's REALLY important pretty near perfect. I have a husband who loves me, adores me, treats me great, and is going to be the world's most AMAZING father. Our marriage isn't perfect, it has many many flaws. We like everyone else, have our up's and down's, but we forgive, we forget, we move on, we respect one another, we treat each other well, we try out very hardest o keep promises, do our best, and when we fall short, we forgive and get over it. I have a beautiful, precious, gorwing baby inside of me getting bigger and bigger every day, I have two really supportive and wonderful family's, plus the worlds greatest church family that means so much to us both, and amazing friendships. We have enough money to pay our bills, to be fed, and to save for our baby. I couldn't really hope for more. Ryan just found out today he only has 7 more classes, that he will be done by summer, and I am SO incrediably proud of him and how hard he has worked despite working 3rd shift and having no time to sleep, to now working 50+ hours a week, baby on the way, a wife to spend time with, church activies, a life! And he has worked so hard, and I honestly have never been so proud of someone in my entire life! He is apporaching the finish line so quickly, and I am his number one biggest fan!! I'm there waiting at that finish line cheering as loud as I can!!

God gives me cards, and I make the best out of what I'm dealt. I know there is a reason behind every thing that He chooses to have happen, and I know there is a season for everything. This just so happens to be an AMAZING season of blessings, love, and we are soooo grateful! I can't wait to hold that bare skinned baby up against my chest while he/she sleeps and makes the most adorable baby sounds, coo's, and yawns. :)

All praise and glory be to God!

lie awake