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The Heart Beat Of A Lost Fox

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rayray

:: 2013 28 May :: 10.05am

A year ago today, my brother got some pretty life changing news. It's so crazy and amazing that within the last year, he has found out that he had cancer, had chemo and has been in remission for 4 months.

Stop My Beating Heart


spud

:: 2013 23 May :: 8.10pm

fucking tots
1 bag of frozen tater tots
1/2 onion diced
3 cloves minced garlic
1 can large black olives, pitted, strained, and diced
2 tbsp. basil pesto
cayenne pepper to taste
1 fuckload (but not too much) butter

lightly saute everything but the tots. veggies should not be completely cooked, just softened.

toss sauteed mixture with frozen tots in large mixing bowl.

evenly distribute in a casserole dish (metal works better than glass). cover with tin foil.

bake for 30 mins at 425. uncover. bake an additional 15 mins (or until desired crustification is achieved)

don't burn your mouth, and devour indiscriminately.

you're welcome.

3 Beat(s) Stopped | Stop My Beating Heart


jayzulla

:: 2013 21 May :: 11.55pm

Wow. Woohu makes me sicker than FB does. What a shocker. Whaaa Whaa. Keep crying like its sooooooo fucking bad.

4 Beat(s) Stopped | Stop My Beating Heart


liz

:: 2013 18 May :: 12.53am

So done. Or maybe just tired

1 Beat(s) Stopped | Stop My Beating Heart


spud

:: 2013 17 May :: 3.57pm

Stop My Beating Heart


spud

:: 2013 14 May :: 2.37am

so i was asked today why i don't have a michigan accent.

i'm pretty sure it wasn't intended as a compliment, but i took it as one.

2 Beat(s) Stopped | Stop My Beating Heart


spud

:: 2013 12 May :: 3.35am
:: Mood: fuckin' weird

greetings, from lake tahoe!

welp. we're here. i was pretty excited on the drive out. there was some drama the night we were supposed to get here, which delayed our arrival until yesterday, so we spent the night in reno. it also put me in a less pleasant space than what i probably should be in. but, it was worked out (ish), so i just need to get over it.

then this morning, mom called to tell me that uncle pete died. i wasn't nearly as close to him as bruce was, but it's still a shock. yet another reminder that none of us are here forever, and something rather opposite a boon to my emotional state. there's still so much in the air. i can't stop trying, that will be the end of it. so i will keep trying. because i have to. but it just doesn't have that thrill of adventure that i was hoping for. it's just a constant oscillation between being awestruck by the fact that i'm here (and here is absolutely amazing, by the way), and mortified that i've made a terrible, terrible mistake.

so, it's great that i'm alone and i'm here and it's super neat. and it's awful at the same time.

i don't know. just keep trucking. that's the main thing.

2 Beat(s) Stopped | Stop My Beating Heart


moomoo

:: 2013 4 May :: 8.05pm

So things are going very well. We sold our house with it being on the market for 3 days and made a profit. We bought a house in cedar double the size, 4 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, finished basement, two decks, and open floor plan. I'm so excited to start the next chapter of my life. I already got a interview for another job closer to the new house. Jordan is loving his new job and hopefully is getting hired in this summer. I really have to start getting back on wedding planning after we close on the house. I have so much to do and it seems like time is going really fast lately. I'm so excited for our future.

2 Beat(s) Stopped | Stop My Beating Heart


spud

:: 2013 26 April :: 12.21am
:: Mood: the usual
:: Music: David Bowie - The Next Day

Auschwitz, this one's for you
i don't even know if you bother to read this shit.

hell, i don't even know you bother to do this shit. so, i obviously am not reading yours. so, no. odds are good you won't be reading this.

but, nonetheless, this comic made me think of you. and i hope it helps. i'm somewhat afraid to encroach upon some of the touchy, weight-related subjects. but this seemed important.






WE have body issues. societal cultures and norms and gender constructs, in addition to inferiority complexes and mental and physical shortcomings and inabilities. but we are all people. and people need to get better at being a society that thrives on support of one another as opposed to condemnation of those that are, well, not us.

(my post about modern medicine and society's struggle with death is closely related, but for a later time.)

Stop My Beating Heart


spud

:: 2013 23 April :: 1.23am

this

4 Beat(s) Stopped | Stop My Beating Heart


spud

:: 2013 17 April :: 11.10pm

AAAAHHHH!!!
people don't comprehend math. it gives me the crazies.



75 - 5 (for discount) = 70
70 + 2 (for tip) = 72
72 / 3 = $24 per person

the even bigger issue is that you could rack up a $70 tab, after getting a discount, and each person can still only tip 67 cents? c'mon, people. the minimum total tip on that should be at least $10.50, regardless of how awful your experience was. and i suppose that was the joke, them only leaving a $2 tip ... but still, i just get so mad at people who make math harder than it is.

4 Beat(s) Stopped | Stop My Beating Heart


spud

:: 2013 15 April :: 12.02pm

i'm really starting to hope this california thing works out. although, now that i'm finally building some connections in town, it seems kind of stupid. but, it's a once in a lifetime opportunity. i should take it.

and i know what dad thinks, not that he's necessarily right or wrong, but i'm doing it anyway. i just don't have anywhere to put my shit.

that's kind of a problem.

Stop My Beating Heart


spud

:: 2013 8 April :: 6.24pm

in a world... where DINOSAURS rule... one family is about to discover... the TRUE meaning... of coelurosaurian carnivorous bipedal theropod
it's been a super fucked up day.

my life is a pile of shit. but i'm excited nonetheless.

also, this tickled me:

Stop My Beating Heart


spud

:: 2013 7 April :: 4.19am

shit in one hand and want in the other
see which fills up first.

well, my hands are full, and i'm sick of this shit. time to take matters into my own damn toilet.

i'm sick of shitting in other people's toilets only to have them bitch about the water bill.

time to build my own goddamn toilet.

i want my own goddamn toilet.

i guess what i'm trying to say is that i want the shit on my hands to be on my own terms. because, fuck this shit. and - shitting aside - fucking won't happen on its own. i suppose that means i need to take other matters in my own hands as well.

apologies for the phrasing.

Stop My Beating Heart


spud

:: 2013 28 March :: 6.14pm

I'm back in michigan.
The weather's nice now.

but i'm still feeling absolutely miserable about life sucking a big old bag of dicks. countermeasures must needs be forthcoming.

Stop My Beating Heart

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