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The Heart Beat Of A Lost Fox

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pop-tart

:: 2012 24 February :: 10.13pm

I cannot wait for spring! Why? cause that is when construction on our new apartment begins. I will finally be able to paint, put down carpet, help mom build a bathroom with a rainfall shower and a kitchen area. Not to mention the our own front door complete with lock. I am so excited and so tired of this basement!!!

3 Beat(s) Stopped | Stop My Beating Heart


liz

:: 2012 20 February :: 10.44pm

My car is seriously pissing me off. I leave in a week for training and the minute I replace the starter the frigging alternator goes out wtf Patti I thought we were good.

Stop My Beating Heart


moomoo

:: 2012 19 February :: 11.31pm

}ust when you give up something great comes along :)

4 Beat(s) Stopped | Stop My Beating Heart


rayray

:: 2012 19 February :: 8.28pm

I will no longer have a relationship with my mother.
I have had all I can take.
Apparently I am the only one of her kids who didn't turn out..

Fuck her. She can't even come over to see her granddaughter. She drops Reagan's gifts off at my sisters, and sends me a text telling me i can go pick them up. Really? That's fucking ridiculous.

I have turned out better than I should have considering she was my influence.

I am DONE!

6 Beat(s) Stopped | Stop My Beating Heart


joslyn_julia

:: 2012 13 February :: 3.24pm

yeah, so i love how I am a "bad person" because i don't go to work when i am sick. I mean honestly, if you don't have a job don't criticize me for taking a day off at mine just because you are pissed that I have a job and hate it, while everyone else you know calls to bitch because they can't get a job. I'm not bitching and whose business is it aside from me and my boss if I don't go to work.
Get real.

Stop My Beating Heart


moomoo

:: 2012 12 February :: 7.54pm

Reading my woohu journal shows me how much I have grown as a person. Funny how much my friend group has changed. I guess were all growing up differently some good and some bad. I will always remember the good times though. So excited for what this year will bring.

Stop My Beating Heart


moomoo

:: 2012 10 February :: 9.26pm

Can not believe I'm graduating in may, so excited. Loving my new puppy. Still haven't had a drink since new years, feels great. Things are defintely looking up this year.

2 Beat(s) Stopped | Stop My Beating Heart


pop-tart

:: 2012 2 February :: 9.45pm

My mom took me tanning for 10mins today. She thought it would help with my seasonal depression. Nope. I'm burnt. My back is on fire and I just want to go lay in the snow.

Stop My Beating Heart


pop-tart

:: 2012 29 January :: 10.18pm

My poor lillyAna has an upper respiratory infection. His eyes are all goopy and swollen. It's pure torture to watch knowing the only thing I can do is keep him warm and keep his eyes clean. The general rule is if it doesn't clear up in 5 days then take him to the vet. I don't know if I can wait that long. He really isn't acting sick other then the goopy eyes. He still spent all afternoon playing with toys and eating twice his body weight. It just looks really nasty. I'm just at a loss.

Oh. for anyone confused by this post, LillyAna is my moms gender confused cat.

Stop My Beating Heart


valoth

:: 2012 27 January :: 11.30pm

Well here we are again. 23 Minutes in Brussels.

Difficult as always.

She doesnt make it easy. I know when she seems 'off'. She seems that way tonight. I feel like she hides it by praising me or praising my ability to overlook her strange ways.

Its not really easy to deal with this. I want to not offend her, especially if she has been drinking, that wont end well. She will resent me and not even know why or what was the problem(s).


"Sometimes I think that you don't like me as much as you did before."

How does one properly respond to that? Im nervous to answer it. Its loaded.

I do like you. I liked you more, yes. I want to like you as much, and try hard to do so. Its easy to do so. Whats not easy is how to deal with you acting stranger at times than others. The wait you put me through for a chance to try this thing out has hurt things. I see it and know it. Id like to think I overlook it 95% of the time too.

Stop My Beating Heart


valoth

:: 2012 27 January :: 11.30pm

Well here we are again. 23 Minutes in Brussels.

Difficult as always.

She doesnt make it easy. I know when she seems 'off'. She seems that way tonight. I feel like she hides it by praising me or praising my ability to overlook her strange ways.

Its not really easy to deal with this. I want to not offend her, especially if she has been drinking, that wont end well. She will resent me and not even know why or what was the problem(s).

Stop My Beating Heart


pop-tart

:: 2012 22 January :: 4.05pm

Why do I have to mediate between a grown man and a nine year old over whose turn it in on the computer? Get a job, Buy your own, Problem solved!

Stop My Beating Heart


pop-tart

:: 2012 19 January :: 7.34pm

Thought work would help with my cabin fever. Nope. I need to get out.

1 Beat(s) Stopped | Stop My Beating Heart


pop-tart

:: 2012 17 January :: 11.44pm

starting to get cabin fever. Its making me really short tempered. I have even less tolerance for Chase's poor "cinderfella" attitude and Derek's back-sass. This could be bad.


I am actually excited for work Thursday.

2 Beat(s) Stopped | Stop My Beating Heart


rayray

:: 2012 17 January :: 3.02pm

I have been trying to find a way to vent without feeling guilty and like a total bitch when I am done. I think I have finally realized that it's not possible for me to do that, and I guess I don't really care too much about those feelings anymore. I will have to deal with them.

I have been struggling to have some kind of civil relationship with Mike's daughter for the last 4ish years. One day, she just decided she didn't want to listen to me anymore, and felt that I can't tell her what to do or anything. At first it caused Mike and I to argue, a lot. He thought I was being mean, or that I didn't know what I was talking about. It took awhile for him to finally see that she really doesn't listen to me, and completely ignores my existence. I thought it was getting better, but I was wrong. Now, she absolutely hates me. She won't admit it to me, or Mike, but we all know. I am not trying to be her parent, because I know she doesn't want me to. But I am not going to sit back and watch her let her grades fall, or see her curse like a sailor on Facebook. So I say stuff to her about it. I am not mean about it, but I am direct, and I come off as a concerned elder, not a parent. However, she see's it differently, and completely disrespects me. The other day, I finally had enough, and I ratted her out to her dad. Because of course she deleted the conversation on her status, so that I didn't have any proof. It really got to me, that she was that disrespectful to me. Well Mike was instantly pissed about it, and let her have it. He took my side and told her that she needed to respect me. A lot of things were said in their conversation. But summary version, I am a bitch and I act like a two year old, and don't deserve respect. And Mike told her not to ask for another damn thing until she learns to respect me, and apologizes.. Now, she won't talk to him. He tells her every night before he starts work, "Good night, I love you". (He sends her and I a text every night telling us that). And she won't respond, if she does, all she says is "night".

I feel horrible that their relationship is shitty. I feel like it's my fault, but at the same time I am happy because they need to learn that he needs to have the upper hand and discipline her, and that she can't get away with everything. I also feel bad, because Reagan loves her, and because she is mad at us, she won't come over for at least a month.. So Reagan is suffering because of that. I want to say something to her, but I don't know how to do it without making things worse..

5 Beat(s) Stopped | Stop My Beating Heart

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