ceci n'est pas un journal

:: 2007 15 August :: 8.31pm

Must be watched from beginning to end.

SEE MORE: Funny Videos | Funny Cartoons | Comedy Central

:: 2007 16 August :: 12.33am

I think Zelda:Twilight Princess is the most satisfying game, both ending and playwise. There's nothing at the end about resetting time like nothing happened. And you still get to deflect magic balls with your sword! (note to me: try bottle) And Midna's smokin' hot.

I half expected Ganon to be up there conducting an orchestra the way that music was. It was awesome. (he'd turn around and be all Uh... ... what? then a concussion blast turns them to dust. (the orchestra))

Time to collect 30 or so poes and more heart pieces.

I love you all.

P.S. Typed this all on the Wii. It was a major pain.
P.P.S. Want to be WiiFriends? I have Voldemort. And Jesus. And Buddha. And Mr. T. And Christina Ricci. And Hitler.

:: 2007 15 August :: 9.26am

"I�m not sure of the significance of the bride and groom smearing cake all over each other�s face; it�s probably a fertility ritual, but it looks like the results of a really great blow-job to me."

:: 2007 11 August :: 2.16pm

Did I ever tell you about that time we were in Prague?

We were in Staromestske Square during the week of Easter and there was a festival. Along with various food stands, there was a stage where multiple groups of schoolchildren performed acts ranging from line-dancing to recorder-playing.

This group was my favorite. They wore yellow t-shirts and sunglasses while they sang a song in English.

The lyrics:
"...here to stay
Your body is a wonderwall to touch
I want you so bad,
Want you so much
Your body is a wonderwall to touch
I want you so bad,
Want you so much..."

The video:
Read more..

jedibumblebee

:: 2007 7 August :: 6.21pm

happy anniversa-ree, to mee

I cut all my hair off in celebration of my monogamy

Read more..

Please ignore the less-than-thrilled look on my face.

:: 2007 3 August :: 8.58pm

I realize now that we need measuring cups.

I can't convert cups to tablespoons forever.

taoman1121

:: 2007 3 August :: 7.30pm

Butterfly Fuck-Swing Filled With Junk Mail

ELMHURST, IL—"The wife and I sure had some crazy times on that thing before we had the baby," said Nathan Moscone, hanging his suit jacket on the swing.

:: 2007 3 August :: 3.53pm

I can't wait until school starts and I actually have order in my life. Work is so crazy. My hours aren't set in stone and I hate that. I like something to work toward and I can't when working toward noon turns into five.

And I can't wait to take normal English-speaking classes again. I have two night classes for the first time so I hope that turns out okay. I never wanted to take a night class but both these classes are ones that I really want.

In other news, I love Canada. "Look, this isn't the 15th century. You can't go around the world and just plant flags and say 'We're claiming this territory.'" - Canadian Foreign Minister PETER MacKAY dismissing any threat to Canadian sovereignty in the Arctic after Russia planted a flag on the seabed beneath the North Pole.

"By comparison, Canada is a tension-free place." - JACK JEDWAB, director of the Association for Canadian Studies, explaining the increased number of Americans moving to Canada, which hit a 30-year high last year with discontent over the Iraq war and American politics.

:: 2007 2 August :: 6.28pm

This is fucking bullshit. I take my car in for service, again, and it comes back to me with a warning light on. And they haven�t even addressed all of my concerns.

AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

:: 2007 1 August :: 8.09pm

I am riding the bus home from work because we only have one car.

Let me tell you, the GR buses are awesome. The bus drivers are nice and it's clean and easy to use. The bus talks and says what stop is coming up next.

Plus , today was an Ozone Action Day so the buses were free. Tomorrow is one too. Apparently, they are running free on the first 10 Ozone Action Days this year. I think that's awesome and they should advertise it more.

Anyway, I don't know if you ever have had or will ever have the opportunity to ride the buses in GR but I highly recommend it.

I love you all.

:: 2007 31 July :: 7.00am

(3 November 2006, Michigan) Death by train is almost too common to merit a Darwin Award. Few people are unaware of the three most important facts about trains: 1) Trains cannot stop quickly. 2) Trains cannot swerve. 3) In any collision, the train always wins.

Forgetting these rules, a 20-year old man was walking down the railroad tracks in Comstock Township, near Kalamazoo, Michigan. This, in and of itself, is not even close to Darwinian stupidity. Trains are loud, and they announce their approach from quite a distance, allowing ample time to clear their path. However, our Darwin contender made sure the odds were in the train's favor by wearing a pair of headphones with the music turned up loud. Louder than the train's whistle, apparently.

The news report didn't mention what song he was listening to, but I'm guessing it was "Don't Look Back" by Boston. Not looking back sealed his fate. Despite several loud blasts of the horn by the train engineer, our Darwin contender kept strolling down the rails in musical bliss, until Amtrak removed him from the gene pool. Reference: Kalamazoo Gazette

:: 2007 28 July :: 1.56pm

Oh, Stephen Colbert. I love you.

:: 2007 27 July :: 2.14pm

I called work to see if they need help before school starts and they do! It's only 3 hours a day worth of help but it's still awesome.

Nick and I will just have to figure out transportation as we only have one car now and he works Tuesday - Saturday.

But yay! End to boredom.

:: 2007 25 July :: 4.35pm

Don't sneeze or cough into your hands. The germs will be spread onto the next thing, or person, you touch. Coughing or sneezing into the crook of your elbow is always a safe bet. Unless you touch a lot of people and things with the inside of your elbow.

Flush the toilet with your feet, use your elbows for everything. When exiting the restroom, use a paper towel or your sleeve to open the door.

Yes, I am bored. kthx

taoman1121

:: 2007 25 July :: 10.55am

:: 2007 23 July :: 11.38pm

So, my aunt and uncle got into a car accident on Saturday night. My parents and grandparents drove over to Green Bay to visit them in the hospital and I�ve been staying at my parents� place to take care of the dogs. Got an update on their condition this last night and as of this morning nothing has changed. Apparently my uncle is fine except for a broken rib. My aunt hasn�t faired quite as well. One dislocated leg, the other leg is broken in three places, and she crushed a few vertebrae in her neck. Last I had heard this morning was that my parents were driving back tonight. The only problem is that they said they were going to be back earlier tonight and they�re not answering their phones either. Currently I�m hoping Linda is doing well and they just didn�t hear their phones�

brutisimo

:: 2007 23 July :: 1.01pm

YEsterday I was in cesky Krumlov and I bought HArry Potter 7 and read it cover to cover. It was great. I love that the european version is only 607 pages instead of like 750 like the us...it is also smaller, that makes it easier to carry around and get home.

I leave this glorious place on saturday morning and there is still so much to do. Here is my list:

aspects of alice @ the blacklight theatre
St. Vitus's Cathedral
The dancing house

I also have a paper due tomarrow and 2 poet meetings. Then there are readings tue, thur and a lecture tomarrow morning. Finally, the last thing I will do in prague is go to the big party on friday and get wasted one final time with all my new friends.

I have to go back to WMU in the fall. I am still on eclass short of graduation. I think the only saving grace is that I have met people here. I think if I hadnt come on this trip I would have died. It saved me and I am grateful. WOot prague!...

Taint

:: 2007 21 July :: 12.17am

I am now in the new apartment with Nick where I will be living for at least a year or until something horrible happens.

It is, quite frankly, pretty bitchin'.

brutisimo

:: 2007 20 July :: 1.19pm

TAINT

brutisimo

:: 2007 18 July :: 12.57pm

So I am having a great time in Prague. I really like the program I ma in and feel like I am learning so much. I can't believe I was so apprehensive about doing this.

I miss Ryan though. I miss Camp and my normal summer. I feel like I am outsidfe my own body a lot here. Like I am not really living my life, but I am on some type of parrallel plane of existence. Also It is weird that Peter Derby is here. I still can't get past that feeling. I feel like a kid when I am around him, so I try not to be very much.

This weekend I am going on an overnight "field trip" and we are going to see some really beautiful stuff. I mean I have seen a lot of really great stuff already, but this is going to be cool i think. We are also going to see a symphony i think.

Anyway, I saw two exhibits of particular interest. NEo Rauch: an AMAZING painter, and JAn Saudek and very interesting photographer, goodbye for now.

:: 2007 17 July :: 4.49pm

McHenry went to the vet. Blood tests came back fine. Apparently he's just old. Mom says we just have to make sure we see him everyday.

He's still falling over. It's not sad so much anymore as it is hilarious.

:: 2007 15 July :: 8.26pm

Seth: If the body doesn't lie...

Summer: ...then it's saying ew.

Seth: Ew or touch my pooper?

:: 2007 15 July :: 5.14pm

Nor is a dildo a Polish popover.

Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm-Flailing Tube Man

jedibumblebee

:: 2007 13 July :: 10.10pm

:: 2007 12 July :: 3.57pm

Retro-post
"Did I wake you up?"

"Sorta."

"Sorta?"

"No, someone hit me. I'm flagged for PvP."

"Oh. So are you playing WoW?"

"No. I haven't gotten up yet."

"So did I wake you up?"

"Sorta."

:: 2007 10 July :: 11.23pm

They killed Hermione? Fuckers!

:: 2007 9 July :: 6.22pm

A dildo is not a Polish reindeer.