ceci n'est pas un journal

:: 2006 17 November :: 6.14pm

God doesn�t make mistakes.

Oh, I don�t know. Testicles on the outside isn�t such a good idea.

:: 2006 17 November :: 5.12pm

Just watched �Come September.� Rock Hudson was hot. Too bad he was a man whore and is dead.

TaoMan1121

:: 2006 17 November :: 9.25am
:: Music: Coheed & Cambria

Gawd, is it time to go home yet?? I'm soooo impatient.

1 lie | this sentence is false

:: 2006 17 November :: 2.03am

Things that are awesome:

Doing a last minute presentation preparation on Nintendo and procrastinating by watching videos of people playing the Wii for the first time. Tee hee. The old Japanese couple is so cute! It's really funny to see how they react to the controller. I want to see my dad play the Wii. That would be hilarious.

brutisimo

:: 2006 16 November :: 3.35pm

going to Ryans for a couple nights, then RICCI'S PARTAY!

JAson offered me eragon for the holiday...he must be high.

I miss some people, not gonna lie.

9 lies | this sentence is false

:: 2006 15 November :: 10.58pm

Things that are awesome about Ashland, Oregon:

They have a Tree Commission.

Said commission votes on a Tree of the Year.

They had a Car Free Day that encouraged people to seek other forms of transportation apart from cars.

Southern Oregon University has family housing and they define a couple as "two (2) individuals of the opposite or same gender who live together in an intimate, long-term relationship of indefinite duration with an exclusive mutual commitment in which partners share the necessities of life and agree to be financially responsible for each other's welfare, including living expenses."

I want to live there. It is such a cute town.

TaoMan1121

:: 2006 15 November :: 10.03pm

In today's WTF news:

O.J. Simpson To "Confess"?

In what is shaping up to be another bizarre milestone in the murder case involving O.J. Simpson, Fox announced Tuesday that it plans to air a two-part interview with Simpson on November 27 and 29 (within the November sweeps) in which, according to the Fox news release, he "will tell how he would have committed the murders if he were the one responsible for the crimes." The news release quoted Fox reality chief Mike Darnell as saying, "This is an interview that no one thought would ever happen. It's the definitive last chapter in the Trial of the Century." The person interviewing Simpson has not been identified. The interview is scheduled to air days before Fox's corporate sibling, Harper Collins, publishes Simpson's If I Did It, Here's How It Happened on November 30.

Borat spanked by angry Yank... with a surprise!

4 lies | this sentence is false

1 lie | this sentence is false

:: 2006 15 November :: 8.11pm

Christians Piss Their Pants
No, they aren't into watersports. Christians, particularly the Roman Catholics and the more obnoxious evangelicals, are pissing their pants in fear.

On Tuesday, the nation's Roman Catholic bishops met in Baltimore to re-declare the church's teaching that same-sex attractions are "disordered". Why do they think this? Because same-sex attraction does not lead to pregnancy - the only reason that the Catholic Church believes sex exists. And so they claim that gays cannot experience true happiness because nobody gets pregnant.

Ask 1,000 American Roman Catholics if they think that sex is for getting pregnant only and that God intended that sex only be engaged in by a husband and wife and only when they intend to have a baby and see how many of them agree? If you find 100, especially among Catholics below the age of 30, I would faint from shock.

At the same time, the largest Baptist group in North Carolina adopted a policy that expels any Baptist congregation that is too "gay-friendly". God forbid that any Baptist church should show any compassion or welcome to someone that is on the 'fringe' of society. After all, Jesus NEVER did anything like that!

Uh...oh, that's right. He did.

Well, never mind, the Baptists won't make that mistake! After all, you can't keep people the object of fear and hatred if you actually get to know them, can you? And they need that fear and hatred to keep their congregations in line.

That's what this is all about. Control. The more that Gays come out of the closet and show the world that we are just like everybody else, that we don't have two heads or horns, that we don't rape children, that we don't do 99% of the shit that we're accused of, people start to not listen to the bigots and hypocrites running the churches. And not listening equates to not putting so much in the 'plate' anymore and who the hell is going to pay for their huge churches and their fancy wardrobes and their limousines? After all, didn't Jesus ride around Judea in a litter dressed in the finest robes that money could buy?

Uh...no? Oh, well, he should have because his followers sure do!

The most disgusting thing about all of this, is this restatement of the Roman church's hatred of Gays comes from new guidelines for church ministries to Gays! They want to minister to us at the same time they're calling us "disordered".

No, thank you.

I want nothing to do with your church or with your narrow-minded god. Keep your Jesus and your Baptist crap and your catholic crap and shove them up your ass. You have no business ministering to Gays until you spend at least 100 years apologizing for all the harm you've done to us throughout the centuries. Your bishops and your popes and all your priests and nuns and ministers should burn in your denominational hells for that alone.

_____________________________________

I love it when I find an amusing journal.

jedibumblebee

:: 2006 15 November :: 8.18pm

Memory
Leave some memories that you and I had together. It doesn't matter if you knew me a little or a lot, anything you remember! Don't send a message, leave a comment on here. Next, re-post this in your notes and see how many people leave a memory about you.

3 lies | this sentence is false

coot1120

:: 2006 15 November :: 3.04pm

Woot! I'm done with my paper! Now I have to work on a care plan :( I feel like it is never ending. on the other hand, in 4 weeks from right now I will be on christmas break. And only have 1 semester of college (which scares me the most). I don't want to be out of college yet.

4 lies | this sentence is false

:: 2006 14 November :: 10.18pm

If we didn't get along, you would tell me, right?

If I got on your nerves, you would tell me, right?

If we snipped at each other, you would tell me, right?

If I grumbled and was annoying and we argued and were horrible friends, you would tell me, right?

Right?

Because apparently you haven't. And I was. And I'm sorry.

:: 2006 13 November :: 4.29pm

Guess the lick word.

It�s just that your tongue has bad penmanship.

brutisimo

:: 2006 13 November :: 5.16pm

I'm Not Dead
so my computer is dead, but i am making due.

i love the Office.

coot1120

:: 2006 13 November :: 3.22pm

I wish it was Wednesday at 11:30 am. So bad.

:: 2006 10 November :: 11.44pm

I used to be a master of the anti-gay crusade
Until a butch disaster blew my pastor masquerade
But if it's true I'm pounding more than pulpits, don't blame me
It's 'cause I caught my hooker-tweaker-stud's infirmity

It's
Supertelevangelistic sex-and-drugs psychosis
Worse than plague and bird flu crossed with osteoporosis
We were playing doctor and he gave this diagnosis:
Supertelevangelistic sex-and-drugs psychosis

Umm Haggard Bakker Swaggart umm Tammy Faye
Umm Haggard Bakker Swaggart umm Tammy Faye

I found the perfect therapist - the kind that gives massage
I like to drive my Escort and I park in his garage
I swear he only serves me crank when all his coke is gone
And then he helps me straighten out my Peter, James, and John

Blame
Supertelevangelistic sex-and-drugs psychosis
That's my greatest guilty pleasure next to Guns N' Roses
Good thing there's no ban on it in all the books of Moses
Supertelevangelistic sex-and-drugs psychosis

Umm Haggard Bakker Swaggart umm Tammy Faye
Umm Haggard Bakker Swaggart umm Tammy Faye

It seems all pious public figures bugger on the sly
But Jesus loved republicans and sinners; so must I
Say "Holy moley, Mister Foley! That boy's underage!"
But I believe the congressman has turned another page

Oh!
Supertelevangelistic sex-and-drugs psychosis
Next time, better cut me off at handshakes and Mimosas
No more meth or men for me (at least in overdoses)!
Supertelevangelistic sex-and-drugs psychosis!

1 lie | this sentence is false

:: 2006 11 November :: 12.01am

Last night I stayed on campus.

I stayed up all night. Emily, Claire and I watched seasons 1 and 2 of The Office. All night.

We finished just in time for breakfast.

Emily and I took a nap for about an hour and a half.

I am starting to feel tired. I just felt out of it before and I didn't realize how out of touch I was until I drove home. I really shouldn't have been driving.

There's more but I'm tired.

To tomorrow!

5 lies | this sentence is false

:: 2006 8 November :: 10.29pm

Cubs win!
We won! I'm glad my first time voting was this awesome.

And Rumsfeld is gone!

It's like a collective Democratic birthday.

jedibumblebee

:: 2006 8 November :: 5.56pm

MySpace is really scary. I think that I will be staying away from it.

TaoMan1121

:: 2006 8 November :: 3.34pm
:: Music: RHCP - Give It Away

The morning after...
I feel... optimistic.

:-)

:: 2006 7 November :: 11.09pm

That fucking Pentecostal bitch!

taoman1121

:: 2006 7 November :: 5.24pm

Mmm... thought provoking.

Birthday Thursday.
Borat this weekend.
Drinking and presents interspersed.

:: 2006 6 November :: 8.16pm
:: Music: Scissor Sisters

This is going to be an obscenely long post, so deal with it.

Just when you think the post office couldn�t possibly mutilate a package worse than last time, they prove you wrong.

Best birthday card yet! And congratulations remembering who the actor was and actually finding a picture of him with clothes on. Great find on that book too, I need to start a video rental account.

Grandma�s wake was tonight. It�s kind of amazing the number of people I met tonight. Not really surprising that I didn�t know everyone, but what was surprising was the number of people that I didn�t know that are family. The wake was supposed to start at four for family and then at five for the general public. Almost none of the family showed up until well after five. I got to meet my aunt Paulette, ug. Aunt Mary dressed grandma in the dress that she got her to wear to her wedding. Kind of bothered me because it really wasn�t grandma. It�s a satiny silver dress like thing that reminds me of a space suit. The grandma that I remember was always in a denim skirt to her ankles and a plaid shirt. The mortician put funny makeup on her too. I�d never seen her with any so it was odd to begin with, but they gave her a metallic pink gloss lipstick� I never realized that her wedding ring was a plain gold band, no stones/diamonds whatsoever.

My family is fucking nuts. I can�t believe how much cat fighting was going on at a stupid wake. And do you really need to be told to dress nicely? I mean a jumpsuit is not a good thing anytime, but for a wake? How about blue jeans and cowboy boots? T-shirts? I felt completely overdressed in leather shoes with nice blue jeans and a button down shirt. And would it kill people to do your hair?

So much to write and so much I don�t want to think about. Maybe I�ll expand on this tomorrow�

--------------
Ione Elizabeth Burgess, 76, of Fall Creek returned to the Lord on Nov. 1, 2006, at Dove Healthcare Nursing & Rehabilitation with her family by her side.

She was born in Cleghorn, Wis., on Aug. 27, 1930, one of 12 children born to Albert and Louise (Tumm) Henning. Ione married Paul Phillip Burgess, Sr., on Sept. 14, 1946, at the First Baptist Church parsonage in Eau Claire. Ione and Paul started their family in Eau Claire before moving to Cleghorn, the site of their first dairy farm. Ione and Paul later moved to �the farm� in Fall Creek, where they raised 11 children. Ione and Paul were married more than 58 years at the time of his death.

Beloved wife and mother, sister and grandmother, Ione was never too busy to cook a meal, provide care or serve the Lord. Family meals were an occasion for Ione to bake pies, to serve her homemade pickles and to share the lives of her loved ones. All who knew Ione will remember her kindness, strength, generosity and faith.

Ione will be remembered with love by her children, Steven (Brenda) Burgess of Eau Claire, Paula Burgess of Ogden, Utah, Mark (Judi) Burgess of Boerne, Texas, Elizabeth (Dan) Hayden of Rock Falls, Peter (Nancy) Burgess of Elk Mound, Andy (Diane) Burgess of Fall Creek, Nathan (Brenda) Burgess of Brackett, Benjamin Burgess of Fall Creek, Joanna Madison of Eau Claire and Mary Beth (Chris) Huson of Eau Claire; 21 grandchildren; 24 great-grandchildren; her siblings, Doris (George) Frase of Fall Creek, Marlys Zimmerman of Eau Claire, Della (Ron) Kunz of Stromberg, Neb., Donald Henning of Eau Claire, Albert Henning, Jr., of Minneapolis, Minn., James (Ruth) Henning of Ponca City, Okla., Arliss (Ray) Goff of St. Paul, Minn., and Diane (Joe) Hall of Annandale, Minn.; her daughter-in-law, Lori Bates of Fall Creek; and many nieces, nephews and cousins.

She was preceded in death by her husband, Paul; their son, Paul Burgess II; her parents; infant sister, Elizabeth Henning; brother, Alfred (Bud) Henning; brother, Lester Henning; infant great-granddaughter, Michaela Barby; and nephew, Dale Zimmerman.

Funeral services will be at 10:30 a.m. Tuesday, Nov. 7, 2006, at Pentecostal Assembly Church in Eau Claire. Pastor Paul Bennett will officiate. Burial will be in the Rest Haven Cemetery in the town of Washington.

Family and friends may call at the Pentecostal Assembly Church in Eau Claire on Monday, Nov. 6, 2006, from 5 to 8 p.m. and again on Tuesday morning from 9:30 a.m. until the time of services. Ione supported numerous charities throughout her life. In lieu of flowers, memorials may be sent to the family or given in her name to Tupelo Children�s Mansion Ministries, P.O. Box 167, Tupelo, MS 38802.

Friends and family are invited to sign the guest book online at www.fullerspeckien.com.

5 lies | this sentence is false

:: 2006 6 November :: 8.08pm

I don't care who you vote for.

Just vote tomorrow!

:: 2006 5 November :: 10.52pm

You be Christina and I�ll be Izzy.

Uteruses, uteri?

:: 2006 5 November :: 9.18pm

I'm having a scary French day.

I don't want to go.

:: 2006 4 November :: 10.37pm

So, uncle Herb shot a deer up the ass. When asked why he shot there, he said, �It was looking right at me.� Maybe it�s just me, but shouldn�t you check and make sure the deer isn�t looking over its back at you? They couldn�t even find an entry wound; he had to have shot it directly up the ass. Somehow this is extremely amusing to me.

:: 2006 4 November :: 9.58pm
:: Music: Justin Timberlake: Like I Love You

So, I went funeral shopping today. Got some new shoes, shirt, undershirt, tie, belt, and just to throw it all off, a pillow. Somehow that wasted $250. Never again will I visit a mall on a Saturday afternoon, well until I forget again.

The wake is going to be Monday and the funeral Tuesday. I wonder how it will be having the whole family crammed in a room together? Last time this happened there were derogatory conversations about faggots.

5 lies | this sentence is false

jedibumblebee

:: 2006 4 November :: 2.50pm

Our new house.
The house.

The backyard.

My awesome kitchen.

More coming soon.

3 lies | this sentence is false

:: 2006 3 November :: 7.00pm

The male koala's penis is a fork. The female has two vaginas which share a common opening.

:: 2006 3 November :: 4.31pm

He�s got a big fat stick and he works like a jackhammer. Those never last.

A church full of naked men�