lifted

lifted

:: 2006 11 June :: 11.05 am
:: Mood: hyper

he jests that scars
"He jests that scars that never felt a wound."My favorite Shakespearan line of all time.It's the scene where Romeo's buddies are making fun of him for being in love and he speaks that line.You can laugh at me all you want becuase you've never been in my shoes.Your heart has

You are a shape
you shift and turn
I see you face
it's a blur
Let me in
I want to know
I want that smile
of yours to show

You are the lips
On which I placed
My very last
enduring kiss
I want to know
I want that smile
Of yours to show.

You are my heart
You beat for me
Like the base of a drum
I hear you speak
You lilt and lilt
Your voice so smooth
I must say
it make me swo...No
It makes me blue

So show your face
I want to know
I want that smile
of yours to show

It matters not
The tears I cry
All I want
is to see you smile

Wow that just hit me and I just had to write it down.It interrupted my thought process it was pushing itself out so urgently.Free writing at it's best I supposed.Well anyways lets get on with the point I was making...

Your heart has never been so touched so therefore you cannot judge me.On the flip side of the coin He jest that scars that also felt a wound.Perhaps the jester has been in love before,as well.But has had their heart broken and

Love is beautiful
and should never be marred
I will take every heartbreak
that comes along
With a smile on my face

I will one day find true love

woah these poems just keep coming and I don't know from where!anyways contiunuing...

And as a result have become quiet the bitter batter.But as my poem illustrates,I will take every heart break that comes along,becuase it is a way for me to recognize when true love finallly comes along;it will have a different face,hold a different shape,it will speak to me in words I barely understand,but that my heart will come to know.

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:: 2006 11 June :: 2.21 am

my friend just broke up with her boyfriend becuase he wasn't willing to recognize her feelings.I felt where she was coming from.I can understand having a disagreement but never accepting my feelings and never acknowledging that they exist?That's so disrespectful and selfish and completely uncaring.

I respect her so much for respecting herself enough to understand when it was time to cut someone lose because they didn't appreciate her and I respect her for understanding that sometimes love is just not enough.

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:: 2006 10 June :: 9.32 pm
:: Mood: horny

I'm feeling all types of way sexually right now.sigh.Am I really going to leave to go to South Africa without getting no ass.Damn that would suck,no pun intended

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:: 2006 10 June :: 6.48 pm

It's good to be in love
It really does suit you
Just like everything
I'm happy your in love
'Cause every color goes where you do

I'm adoring you
It's all good
You're so beautiful
I'm black and blue all over
You're breaking my flow
How could you know what i'm saying about it
When all of my clothes feel like somebody's old throwaways
I don't like it

In relationships you fight and fight and fight for something you believe in, i.e love.And then one day you suddenly realize that you are fighting for nothing because the person doesn't care or they don't care enough.So then you stop fighting and there's this desolation becuase it was what you lived for;what you believed in.Becuase you were fighting for the love you knew you deserved but that never came.

I think that's the stage my friend is at right now.She suddenly realized that she was the only one fighting for something she believed in for two years.Was those two years a waste of time and heart and love?Or was it all part of the grand scheme of things?

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:: 2006 10 June :: 5.35 pm
:: Music: Frou Frou:Breathe In

I read you and God I'm good at it I'm so spot on
Chord shapes in air go press that dissonance if you dare
And you breathing in finesse an innocent
From her partying

And I'm high enough from all the waiting
To ride a wave on your inhaling
And I'm high enough from all the waiting
To ride a wave on your inhaling
'Cause I love you no?
Can't help but love, you know...

And I'm high enough from all the waiting
To ride a wave on your inhaling
And I'm high enough from all the waiting
To ride a wave on your inhaling
'Cause I love you no?
Can't help but love you, no...

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:: 2006 10 June :: 4.39 pm

I met the loveliest girl last night.Beautiful in every way imaginable and straight.lol.It's cool though we can be friends.Why do I fall for straight chicks?

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:: 2006 10 June :: 1.19 pm

And the book of life said "you must experience things to live" and so it was

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:: 2006 9 June :: 9.27 pm
:: Music: Book:Perks of Being a Wallflower

Times like these I lose myself in books:they don't hurt you,they don't lie to you(well they do but not in that way),and they don't judge you out of guilt

I'm gonna go read my favorite book of all time

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:: 2006 9 June :: 8.19 pm
:: Mood: contemplative
:: Music: Corrine Bailey Rae-Trouble Sleeping

It's late and I'm feeling so tired
Having trouble sleeping
This constant compromise
Between thinking and breathing

Could it be I'm suffering
Because I'll never give in
Won't say that I'm falling in love
Tell me I don't see myself
Couldn't I blame something else
Don't say I'm falling in love

Some kind of therapy
Is all I need
Please believe me
Some instant remedy
That can cure me completely

Could it be I'm suffering
Because I'll never give in
Won't say that I'm falling in love
Tell me I don't see myself
Couldn't I blame something else
Don't say I'm falling in love

Cause I've been there before
It's not enough
So nobody say it
Don't even say it
I got my eyes shut
Whoah, no
Whoah, no, no, no

Could it be I'm suffering
Because I'll never give in
Won't say that I'm falling in love
Tell me I don't see myself
Couldn't I blame something else
Don't say I'm falling in love

Don't say that I'm falling in love
Don't say that I'm falling in love
Don't say that I'm falling in love
Don't say that I'm falling in love

Is there a rule book for getting over a person?What if you keep trying and you don't succeed?What do you do then?I feel like I'm playing catch-up right now.She already lost feeling for me a long time ago,while I was unaware of it and thinking that the only reason why she was acting towards me the way she was was becuase she was just stressed about the direction her life was taking.And now,while I'm in the getting over her phase and living my life,I wonder,has she already moved on?Was there somebody else already there and she was just waiting to get rid of me while the person stood in the periphery waiting to be cast in the spotlight?Can a person get over someone they loved that quick?Would it still be love if they did?Is it possible to do this?Is love then not everlasting like it's touted to be?

I have nothing on which to base my assumptions on.I don't have a lesbian rule book of etiquette.I've only been with one person.One person on which all my assumptions and knowledge comes from.

I sometimes wonder if people have different definitions of what being in love is.I always assumed that since loveit so universal,that we all knew what it meant:unconditional,I will do for you as you will do for me,I will jump through fire to save you etc etc that type of stuff.So why does a man hit his woman then tell her he loves her?Why do people cheat on each other while they pledge their love?How is it possible to be in love with two people at the same time?I thought the saying goes that you can only love once.And if this is true,then why would you lie to someone and tell them you love them,when they were constantly in the shadow becuase your mind was on someone else?I mean I know they say there's a thin line between love and hate but can it really be that thin?

I want to know

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:: 2006 9 June :: 1.58 pm
:: Mood: happy

I just booked my ticket for SOuth Africa.I'm sooo excited!!!!There are six out of nine of us who are going to be boarding the same plane there then we are gonna stay the night in J-Burg,three rooms,45bucks per person which is not bad since it's an actual really nice hotel.Now the only thing left to do is to get my passport,Visa,shots,and my luggage to start packing.I'm worried about my passport cause it takes Six Weeks to get it,I sent for it two weeks ago so I should have it by the end of June.That's if everything goes right.Then the Visa take 3-5business days,and the shots I'm getting this wednesday and the luggage I'm probably gonna go get it from Wal-Mart or Burlington this weekend.So everything's working out so far...

I can't believe I'll be in Africa for seven months!!!!!!

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:: 2006 8 June :: 9.56 pm
:: Mood: amused

I cannot wait to go to the Ani Difranco concert next saturday.It's gonne be fun.I've never seen her in concert before.

I now officially have the biggest crush on my professor.She's probably the coolest professor I've had in school.And she's hot in such a way I can't describe.Like she's not pretty in the traditional sense.She's really muscular.But she's still hot nonetheless.I was thinking the nastiest thoughts in class today I felt ashamed.hehWhat I wouldn't give to have for one night....
mmmmmmmmmmmm yum

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:: 2006 8 June :: 9.11 pm
:: Mood: indifferent

Sometimes to get over someone you really love you have to hear them say to you the most painful things,feel it dig into you like shards of glass till you feel you cannot take the pain anymore until you get to the numb state where you lose all feeling

And then you stop caring

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:: 2006 8 June :: 1.54 pm
:: Mood: awake
:: Music: Tracy Bonham:Naked

A little bird
Perches on a branch.
A beautiful, golden-feathered
Little bird.

Her eyelids
Are closed in sleep.
She may have beautiful dreams,
Perhaps.

How wonderful to be
A little bird,
To wake up
And fly away.

This is poem is so deep it moves me every time I read it.It's simplicity;it's hopefullness.I love poetry.I love poetry like some people love music.It heals me in times of depression.Hardly have I ever really written a poem when I wasn't depressed

I want to be loved unconditionally or not at all.Is that too much to ask?

I really miss my grandmother right now.I want to crawl in her lap and fall asleep like I used to do when I was younger.I wish she was still alive

My stubborn skin is wearing thin
I bared my soul you waltzed right in
I gave you everything and you just made me feel so very
Naked, and I can't remember how I let myself become so unraveled
I'm naked pretty as a heart ache waiting for my second skin to settle in

I spilled my guts on your best shoes
You keep it in I let it loose
It's only love that makes me feel like getting so completely

Naked and I can't remember how I let myself become so unraveled
I'm naked pretty as a heart ache waiting for my second skin to settle in

Your hardened heart can't hide you now
It loves as much as you allow
And in the end the eyeball army will just take you down and you'll be

Naked nothing but a heart ache and you know there's
Nothing that can hide you now
You're naked pretty as a heart beat going out exactly how you came in.

It's lyrics like these that make me realize that heartbreak is universal.Everyone at one point or another has had their heart broken in some way or another.It's like the natural order of things it seems

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:: 2006 7 June :: 11.37 pm

I'm certifiably a drama queen.It's official.I know this and I admit it.

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