::
2007 9 October :: 9.43 am
I knew being patient would work out. =]
speak the unspoken |
::
2007 30 September :: 10.47 pm
:: Music: silence
I could spend all day trying to figure out why things are taking the course they are, but why? At the end of the day it isn't up to me. Things are the way they are because that's how they're supposed to be. Life isn't going to be easy every step of the way... I need to realize that.
I am going to face hard times and extremely difficult obstacles. There are going to be times when I feel as if nothing is going right and my heart is going to hurt. I need to embrace life for what it is, and what I have... instead of cursing it because it isn't what I want. I'm 19 years old, how do I even know what I want?
I don't, that's the thing. I don't know where I want my life to be tomorrow, or next week, or next year. I just don't know. What I do know is that I love him and I want him in my life. I need to realize that just because I want it, doesn't mean it's what is best for me and God will let me know if he is or not. Sooner or later God will let me know where I'm going and what I'm doing. I need to have faith in that, I need to let him show me the way instead of thinking I can do it by myself, because I can't.
3 spoke up |
speak the unspoken |
::
2007 12 May :: 12.16 pm
I am seriously done trying to make and keep friends. It really is a lost cause. My expectations are way too high and nobody can meet them. I'm always left disappointed and upset. Sure, it's my own fault for expecting so much from people, but I really can't help it.
Sometimes I wish I were a normal teenager who saw no problem in being drunk every night of the week, and neglecting every aspect in life. But then I really think about it, and I realize how stupid that is. You only get one go around, why screw it up? I see no problem if people want to drink and have a good time on the weekends... but even then, what's the point of being beligerantly drunk every day of every weekend? I just don't get it.
It's pathetic really. The only way anybody can ever have fun with their friends anymore is if they're drunk. That's only to hide the fact that they really can't stand being with them when they're sober and the fact that they really have nothing in common. I can't play that game. I just have to sit here and patiently wait for a good friend. Just one, I'm not even asking for a bunch... just one.
4 spoke up |
speak the unspoken |
::
2007 9 May :: 8.13 pm
seriously, i don't get it...
Why do people feel the need to make stupid decisions and ruin their lives? I'm not saying I've done it all perfectly and made every decision the best I could... but I at least have respect for myself. I've made my fair share of mistakes in my life, believe me... but I don't let those bring me down. Just because you make one, two, or hell... ten poor decisions... that doesn't mean you should just give up.
Life is too precious to waste it. If you make a stupid decision or a stupid mistake... fix it, move on... and get back on track. Don't ruin your life over it for God's sake.
speak the unspoken |
|