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2006 27 August :: 11.20 pm
:: Mood: glad
Dedicated to: i wish this keyboard would die
So i am home and it is fantastic. Just how i imagined it would be, actually. Sometimes, i just think and realize, boy am i glad to be home. Sometimes, i also syke myself out and think what if i there is an emergency and america has to ship me back to korea for no reason at all but i have to go back and be sad there again. But then i realize i am just a saiko and that is okay because i already knew that.
Today i was coming home from penn station and we were stopped in seacaucus. i looked at the station and thought about how it was such a waste of money to make that huge station. and how the town really wasted money. and then i thought about how i regretted wasting my money this summer. and how that was a pretty minute moey-wastage compared to the city of seacaucus' huge money-wastage. and then i realized that the city of seacaucus probably has more money in its pocket than i do in mine, but that is ok. because still. the point is. i kind of got over the fact that i wasted money. and that i waste money. and that, it is inevitable.
so anyway. my favorite necklace is in 32 different knots, sitting in front of me on my brother's desk. it is really upsetting because it is my favorite necklace and i don't know how long it will take to unknot this thing, if i ever. and i just keep looking at it out of the corner of my eye. and the more i try to unknot it, the more knots it gets in. this is some metaphor to my life but i don't feel like thinking about it because i have to pee, actually.
so when i got home i saw my sister and realized she was hearing my headband. and then i realized she was wearing my shirt. wearing one of my fav shirts i got in korea that is. that i still haven't had a chance to wear myself. and that's basically my number one rule, you can't borrow anything unless i've worn it first. and she knows that. she also didn't say hi back when i said hi to her. she is just such a bitch. so i thought about bitching her out, but then i didn't. and then i thought about bitching her out again a little later, but then i didn't. and then i decided that i was tired from my trip to ny and wouldn't bitch her out and let it go. then i looked at FC's new pics on facebook. and she had a lot of nice new clothes. and i thought about how FC is so kind with sharing clothes. and always let's a lot of things go. so i thought maybe i should be a little bit more like her and not so uptight and bitchy about things.
but that doesn't mean my sister isn't a bitch and that doesn't mean one day i will truly love her as my blood, because i may not, ever.
anyway. onto someone i actually do love. rachel leaves for school this weekend, and all hell! i didn't know that, until a few hours ago. that is upsetting. partially because that means i go to school exactly a week after. whcih i'm not really in the mood for.
i have to bath. is bathe a word? why am i so illiterate. i really am surprised i still know how to speak english actually. bye!
p.s. to the world who read my catcher in the rye entry:
the reason why i always think of LHB when i think of that book is not because her middle name is the same as the main character's. i didn't know it was the same until i opened the book. there is a different reason why i always think of LHB and i don't know why. i don't think you know either. and, i haven't finishded it yet. i think i am half way. i'm not much of a fan right now. probably why i haven't finished it.
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