:: 2006 30 March :: 2.30 pm
:: Mood: apathetic

Dedicated to: . . .
Do you know what?

School is almost over. In about two months. When I realized this I wanted time to slow down. And I hated how time moves so fast. And before we know it, the sun is gone and it's night. And time to sleep, so that another day can come and time can keep doing its job.

Sitting here in my room, without anyone around, and not much but work to do, I wish time would speed up. I wish it would be Saturday night already, so Elisa will be here, and the next day everyone else will.

But then I thought about how weird and sort of unecessary it is that one moment I want time to slow down, and the next, I want it to move just a bit faster. I wonder when I'll think time is perfect, and at a perfect pace. I wonder what has to happen to me, that will make me believe that. And I wonder, if I ever will think time is perfect and fine where it's at.

So maybe it's because I'm sort of bored with the repetitiveness. Waking up, doing work, seeing the same people, eating the same food, going to bed. Maybe I think that I'm wasting time doing the same ordinary things all the time, that I think I'm running out of time. And that's why I want it to slow down. So I have enough time to do new and different and crazy things.

Or maybe it's because I'm not really enjoying life right now. I think I am, but maybe I'm not. Because, I think that I know it could be better, and I even know how it could be better, and what I could do to make it better. I'm just not doing it... and I haven't yet... and I'm not really sure why...

Normally, I would just accept the fact that time is tricky, and mean, and kind. But I've been doing that for so long, that if I keep doing it then I'm never going to get anywhere, and I'm going to keep doing the same things, and live such an average life. I guess I should take more chances. And not care about what people think so much.

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