ok this irritates the hell outa me.. i dont understand her at all, i finnaly start dating this girl and 2 weeks later she like i dont think i love u as much as u love me, then shes like marrage frightens me and there no reason to date someone i cant marry...what the hell does that mean, why even start dating me if she didnt want to to begin with... or did i just scare her off.. i dont get her at all.. if she doesnt love me that much why does she get jealous so easily, its almost as bad as my ex she loves me so much but doesnt want to be with me, but she gets pissed whenever i like another girl or pay more attention to them than her.. this is after she broke up with me of course... i really shouldnt have to deal with all this.
but i will...

ok this irritates the hell outa me.. i dont understand her at all, i finnaly start dating this girl and 2 weeks later she like i dont think i love u as much as u love me, then shes like marrage frightens me and there no reason to date someone i cant marry...what the hell does that mean, why even start dating me if she didnt want to to begin with... or did i just scare her off.. i dont get her at all.. if she doesnt love me that much why does she get jealous so easily, its almost as bad as my ex she loves me so much but doesnt want to be with me, but she gets pissed whenever i like another girl or pay more attention to them than her.. this is after she broke up with me of course... i really shouldnt have to deal with all this.
but i will...

eveytime i write in this thing its always bad, is there ever gunna be something good to write about... i really wish i had something good to right about.. but i dont and i wont for a long time.. cuz nothing good ever happens to me.. but i must find the bright side of things..i cant let these feelings i have destroy me. i cant change that im alone, ill always be alone, why cant i accept that, i was fine with being alone before why cant i be now..... i really am a pathetic creature..

i now know ill be alone forever, no mater what i do im destined to be alone, to die alone, to never be loved again, even if someone thought they loved me, it would never be possible, not the way i am its not, i keep saying im gunna give up on love, but the truth is i dont think i can escape the torcherous feeling called love, i just keep searching for it like a god damn bloodhound...maybe i like all this pain, it hurts so much i wish i could rip my heart outa my chest, if u could live without a heart id consider it. i just wish i could find what im looking for, get what im after, but ill probly just die trying....

well im feeling a bit better but i still have a long way to go, i can only take it one day at a time. thank u to everyone that have been helping me work through the rough days, im very lucky to have such good friends.

my computer is really annoying me, im probly gunna have to reinstall windows cuz these damn viruses that i cant get rid of, its so annoying it pisses me off i wish all these problems would just disapear along with all my other problems....

my computer pisses me off so much, i cant get it to download anything, i dunno why it wont, i cant find the problem, this really sucks.....

ihavent written in a while, iv just been lazy i guess, never know what to write bout, but im sure ill think of something. my day wasnt productive at all, i did absolutely not a damn thing all day... fun huh, i bet u all wish u could do nothing all day lol, i must be lucky.. not really its very boring doin nothing oh well tho. see u all. im out.

woohoo finally some good news im goin to see System of a down on the 28th its gunna rock and ill finnaly get outa this place for awhile... thats always good.

fuck this place
i hate this place, telling me what i cant eat what i cant say what i cant do, it fucking pisses me off to no end but they can all go to hell for all i care. i never wanted to be here, i wont take there shit ill rebel....