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2005 22 October :: 9.05pm
:: Mood: unhappy
Well, the new apartment is nice. Dont really spend much time there but its still nice to have. Work is alright, tiring but meh, its money. The tattoo convention was fun. Dresden Dolls concert was fun. Things are alright lately, could be better. Someday we'll have it back....someday. Oh well, I cant complain.
Brothers in arms(earned in blood) has been taking up most of my time the past couple of days. good game, rent it, kill some nazi scum.
Anyway, i dont know why i bothered updating, pretty pointless, no one cares.
Later.
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2005 21 October :: 12.23pm
:: Music: BOB DYLAN
Good day.
Well, I just got back from the dentist. They had to fill my "mini" cavity. Man, I love laughing gas.
I also love days off, especially like this. I've been just walking around taking pictures with my Minolta. It's such a nice camera, I can't wait to get the pictures developed. They're all just nature shots, but it's fall so the trees are perdy.
Here's a couple of shots I got developed from my Canon. My scanner sucks so they came out really grainy and I had to photoshop some what, but they look all right. Just keep in mind the actual photos are good quality.
I want a new scanner!
Read more..
I don't know why the pictures are so small.. *shrug
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2005 19 October :: 4.48pm
The concert was amazing. By far the best show I have ever been to. The first two bands were just so different and creative and the Dresden Dolls just topped it off. I've never seen a concert be so artisitc and energetic. I'm so glad I went.
My only regret is not bringing my camera. I want to kick my own ass.
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2005 18 October :: 6.52am
I'm going to the Dresden Dolls concert tonight. Can not wait.
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2005 16 October :: 3.47pm
Erika, I love you. Hang in there.
Just remember guys suck and they were born idiots.
Juust kidding..
not. ;)
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2005 16 October :: 1.46pm
I miss you, come home all ready!
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2005 15 October :: 4.39pm
I got a new cell phone and it's a camera phone too!
I'm only excited, because my old one was a piece like you wouldn't believe.
Anyway, yesterday was a lot of fun. Kelly, Liz, Sammie, and Neilee rock hardcore.
I miss Brad.
Weekend homework sucks.
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2005 13 October :: 9.00pm
I want more nights like tonight.
But, of course something has to piss me off before I go to sleep, like a stupid as fuck email..why did I even bother trusting her again? She's doing the same fucking thing that caused all that shit last time. Whatever. Fuck you.
Anyway, today was good. Thank you.
Have a good time.
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2005 12 October :: 10.41pm
I don't want you to go anymore.
And that didn't help.
I'm freaking out.
I don't know what can make me not.
It's as if I feel like it's impossible for nothing bad to happen.
I hate this.
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2005 9 October :: 7.31am
The dance was cool.
I had fun.
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2005 7 October :: 6.35am
:: Music: BOB DYLAN
Well, the 40 days of purpose res life group meetings started last night. As you can tell, I have no idea what to call it. Anyway..it went very well. There are 7 groups of couples, Brad and I are the youngest. Not by much though, all of them are in their early 20's. It was nice because I was expecting it to be really dull and everyone to be uber churchy, but they weren't like that at all. We all just talked and laughed the entire time. I guess it's every Monday for the next six weeks. It was supposed to be Thursday, but people had problems with that I guess. So, sorry Erika and especially Keegan. ;) Laguna night must be rescheduled!
Today is black day and I'm having fun with it. Even though my stinky boyfriend is being a shmuck. =) Hehehe..
I'm an emo kid, non-conforming as can be!
You'd be non-conforming too if you look just like me!
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2005 5 October :: 6.34am
:: Music: BOB DYLAN
Things are good in the hood.
Who's all going to Homecoming? I'm just wondering..
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2005 1 October :: 9.26am
I am in the play. I get to be a Citizen of Oz. I know, I know.. it's a very minor part and I probably have no lines that I say individually, but I'm just excited to be a part of the play. I didn't try hard at auditions and my heart was never really into this play, but I'll put my all into it now.
Red flannel day is today. How exciting. I get to do fucking everything because everyone in yearbook is a lazy ass. No one can just offer to do anything if they don't benefit from it. It drives me crazy how everyone can take that class and yet not want to do anything for it. Whatever.
Hopefully today goes well. I need to shower, later.
Edit>>
I got my Homecoming dress, it's brown. And brown is the best, so I am happy. Erika and Keegan your couple is back!
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2005 30 September :: 6.22am
He made me smile.
I need to just stop caring, worrying, getting so worked up, etc.
Last night was perfect. We argued a little, but it didn't end in us yelling, storming off, or me crying. It ended in him saying, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you." And that was that.
Then we talked about a lot of things for an hour or so.
And I just want this all to last, because if I had this huge part of my life good and fixed again I don't know what could bring me down.
I love you. And always remember every word you said last night.
You can go.
I trust you.
And you know me saying that is a huge step.
Just don't make me regret these words.
Tony's a good friend.
Continue in the good direction you are going in now.
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2005 29 September :: 4.20pm
I am so pissed right now.
Here I am, sitting alone.. once again.
Every day I either sleep or watch tv. What a fucking life.
Auditions went terrible. If I do get a part I don't even deserve it, even though I know for sure it'll be a small role with no lines, if I get one at all. I'm just not a good actress. Bah.
Anyway, you'd think after we don't talk for a day, and fight the ones before he'd want to spend time with me, but nooo. I'm not someone to miss. I'm just a bitch who's always pissed off. Someone he can't have fun with or be himself around. I just have to accept that I can't make him happy and let him be happy somewhere else.
I don't have a car, all my friends have jobs and lifes!
But do I? Of course not.
My whole family is STUPID. Seriously.. what I am dealing with at home right now is bullshit. Complete bullshit.
I know I've said this a million times and over and over, but..
I. Just. Want. To. Be. Happy.
Is that ever going to happen?
I doubt it.
Not here, not now.
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2005 29 September :: 6.21am
:: Music: Death Cab for Cutie
Perfect fit.
Holding on to your grudge.
Oh, it's so hard to have someone to love,
and keeping quiet is hard
'cause you can't keep a secret
if it never was a secret to start.
We're concentrating on falling apart.
We were contenders, now we're throwing the fights.
I just want to believe...I just want to believe..I just want to believe..in us.
You're holding on to your grudge,
Oh, it hurts to always have to be honest with the one that you love.
Brand New - Okay I Believe You, But My Tommy Gun Don't
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2005 28 September :: 6.42am
Give me one good day before I disappear.
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2005 27 September :: 3.55pm
Why do I even fucking bother?
It's always about you.
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2005 27 September :: 6.45am
The past..
I'll be the first to admit..
I am so fucked up and ruined.
And it's not my fault.
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2005 26 September :: 6.18am
:: Music: Death Cab for Cutie
I have the most insane boyfriend in the world..
but, I love him.
I know he's made a lot of mistakes and I hope I can say there will be no more (big ones at least) and actually be right this time.
He has a huge heart and I need it to be mine.
We got our rings. They are nice and simple.
They simply signify we won't do anything to hurt one another in a big way.
Sorry, I'm just rambling about things none of you care to hear.
I hate school.
But, I love hot chocolate. Mmmm.
>>Edit
Oh, and if you're a BOB DYLAN fan like I and have been waiting pathetically the 'No Direction Home' movie is on tonight at 9pm on PBS.
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