I can't take my mind off of you, until I find somebody new.
[I don't care if any of you are sick of hearing about this. Delete me off of your friends page if I bother you that much. It won't hurt my feelings, trust me.]

I feel like I just can't do this anymore.

I miss you, you can't even begin to imagine how much. I feel like no matter what happens you're gonna be there. You're always going to be in the back of my head, I can't just get over you. I can't replace you. I compare every guy I meet to you. I can't pretend you don't exist, when I know you do and I know I regret the break up.

I regret being so weak and giving up something, that I now realize, I really needed. Something amazing. I don't even know if I regret it all or not. Because I'd kill to have that again, but knowing I had it and it's gone makes it even worse. Knowing a feeling that you just can't reach no matter how hard you try kills.

It's just... I hate knowing you're somewhere else where I can't be. I hate knowing that you're growing up without me. I hate seeing that I'm going through my senior year without my best friend by my side. Without my rock. You were never just a boyfriend to me. Ever. You were my best friend. And I remember saying no matter what you were always going to be in my life. No matter what we were going to stay best friends. So, here I sit with no best friend and no rock.

What makes it the hardest is knowing I'll probably never see you again in my life. You're gone. And I'll be gone as well soon. I don't know where I'm going, I just know it's not going to be here, in this house. I mean, you fucking lived with me. As if everything else in the world doesn't remind you of me, let's add the fact that you've been in every inch of this house. I look at the fucking couch and think of you.

It's all too hard and I wish things could have just been solved, because I've never felt so helpless. Without you, a part of me is gone. Part of who I am today is you.

Why don't you care?
why.don't.you.care.
I was so willing to do whatever you wanted. I told you I'd move to Florida if you really wanted me to. I told you I would go where ever you wanted to go. I was willing to move somewhere I never wanted to be just so I could be with you. And all you said is, "I don't see any way it would work."

Were you were only in it for the easy times? Only when it was conveinent for you? There's a hundred ways this all could have worked. And now it can't, because you have a new, wonderful life and I'm just here. Existing because I have to.

I love you.
I never stopped loving you.
And I don't know if I ever will.

I wish you could say the same.

I am so fucking willing to do anything on this earth to be with you. To fight with you, to grow with you, to be in love with you. The good and the bad. I want all of you and I have none.

Not one damn piece.

I don't miss you.
I miss us.

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