:: 2003 3 June :: 8.42 pm
:: Mood: tired

LOVE!

I muster up the strength to go outside,
The floor sticks to my bare feet,
Cold ground intruding my warm skin.
In a trance I move through my halls,
The pictured walls seemingly morph as pass,
I see her everywhere. She is a part of me-

My soul

My mind is deficient of reason,
Love has become an indescribable feeling.
I walk down the hall realizing its boundlessness.
Colors flow past me in gentle streams.
She is with me and I feel her pain,
Emotion soaked eyes stare into mine.
I hear her say “I love you” as she wipes away a tear
The words wash over me like rain
In those eyes I see her soul-

My soul

She is perfection incarnate,
I reach to wipe away her tears but fall short.
I want to comfort her but she is too distant.
The only comfort I provide is tender words,
with honest meaning.
I want to stay here forever;
this perfect moment should never end.
She begins to fade away and I reach for her finding air.
She is gone, but I know she will return
I feel a pang of emptiness with in me-

My soul

My lungs burn in need of her return
Her face plays over my eyelids as they close once more
She is my last thought, my final memory
I pass away into my dream…

…The floor sticks to my bare feet.

1 left me one! | Leave me one?

:: 2003 3 June :: 8.33 pm
:: Mood: amused

A lost sole.

Forgotten
always alone

Forsaken
care never shown

No-one will warm
my frostbitten heart

I should have known
'twas like this from the start

Trapped under ice
the world's nothing but cold

There's no reprise,
like my soul has been sold

Eating away,
the thoughts tear at my core

Too bad for them,
darkness never gets sore.

1 left me one! | Leave me one?

:: 2003 3 June :: 8.31 pm
:: Mood: depressed

Lonely suicide

suicide to help the pain
lonely suicide - split the vein
suicide for the lies undone
lonely suicide - cock the gun
suicide for the ruined lives
lonely suicide - sharpen the knives
suicide, no longer alone
lonely suicide - pull that cone
suicide, cannot cope
lonely suicide - knot the rope
suicide, cant deal with it all
lonely suicide - that plummeting fall
suicide for the emotions I cannot kill
lonely suicide - take another pill
suicide for now I can't cry
lonely suicide - its time to DIE

1 left me one! | Leave me one?

:: 2003 3 June :: 8.29 pm
:: Mood: sad

LEAVE ME ALONE!

I've cut your strings,
From my heart you've gone,
Because you've pissed me off
For much too long.
I don't need the anger,
I don't need the pain.
Your sunshine isn't bright enough,
So just bring on the rain.
And no she doesn't love me,
But I'll love her anyway.
I don't get this sh*t from her,
And at least with her, I'm free.
I won't be hurt by any girl but her,
Another isn't worth the time to grieve.
I'd rather be left alone to love the rain,
Yea, please, just let me be.

1 left me one! | Leave me one?

:: 2003 3 June :: 8.28 pm
:: Mood: creative

Dreams and Nightmares

Silent tears
Wept in the dark
Leaving trails
Marks of pain
Torment recorded
Strewn across my face.

Cowering alone
Broken dreams
Scatter in the wind
Nothing remains
Only solitude
Remnants of the past.

Dark ravines
Coat the sun
Glistening black
Obsidian light
Reflects crimson glory
Streaking down the wall.

Stark melodies
Drifting free
Trapping spirits
Guiding them away
Leading them to hell
Burning in cold flames.

Faceless demons
Confronted in sleep
Pointing two ways
Utter blackness
Simplistic peace
A step left.

Pure light
Brilliant white
Leaking scarlet
Driving me away
Turning the scales
Sliding right.

Images froze
Horrifying visions
Flash before me
Vivid in red
Washing away pain
Numbing reality.

Paralyzing blows
Trapped here
Struggling to break free
Hidden away
Locked up tight
My mind reels.

Left alone
Thrown to a path
Screaming
Pleading to be free
Unable to wake
Killed by a vision.

2 left me one! | Leave me one?

:: 2003 3 June :: 7.50 pm
:: Mood: shocked

I don't know what to do. i really like someone that i liked back in the sixth grade. and now she likes someone else and is talking about goin to a different school or homeschooling. i really really like this girl and one of my friends thinks shes cool but she wont give me a shot. at least not yet. HEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPP!

4 left me one! | Leave me one?

:: 2003 30 January :: 8.08 pm
:: Mood: crushed

she wont talk to me.
will someone please just shoot me. because life itself is nothing without someone special to share it with. and right now the only person on this planet for me wont even talk to me. and without her i'm nothing. i have been crying since wed night. and its now thursday night. someone come to me with a gun and shoot me.

Leave me one?

:: 2003 29 January :: 4.55 pm
:: Mood: SAD>>SAD>VERY SAD>

i don't know whats between us now.
man i need some help. i got a note from one of her friends today. and i don't knwo if me and her are together or what. heres our sign equation. how we match as a couple.


When Gemini and Sagittarius come together, it can be a truly spectacular match! These partners are highly compatible and although the pair will encounter trouble spots in the relationship, they are often able to work out differences. Sagittarius is an explorer and a pioneer, and Gemini's intellectual approach adds a different dimension to the pair's experiences. Both partners enjoy new sensations. Gemini is more than a little bit flighty and Sagittarius is always looking at everything but what's right in front of them.
Gemini and Sagittarius make very good friends as well as lovers. They understand each other, and both view life with optimism and enthusiasm. Problems are rare, but sometimes Sagittarius must be careful to think before they speak and say something too blunt or hurtful. But even when they do have problems, these partners can forgive and forget easily. Both can get over arguments quickly, and neither hold grudges.

Gemini is ruled by Mercury and Sagittarius is ruled by Jupiter. Mercury's androgyny and Jupiter's masculinity make these signs compatible. Jupiter is about philosophy, instructing, and understanding, so Sagittarius likes to understand new and exciting things. Mercury is all about quick wit and invention. Whenever Gemini comes up with a new idea -- as they so often do -- Sagittarius is eager to explore with their partner and learn about this new concept.

Gemini is an Air Sign and Sagittarius is a Fire Sign. This partnership has lots of action! There is always something going on, and this tends to be a very heated and passionate relationship. When it's good it's good, but when it's bad it's about loud quarrels and wounded feelings due to the polarity of these signs. In this partnership there's sometimes a competitive undertone and a question of who's taking charge. Both signs have excess energy. Although they may disagree often, their differences of opinion don't last long -- Gemini is too busy moving on to the next challenge to hold a grudge, and Sagittarius can forgive anything but a lack of respect from their Gemini partner.

Gemini and Sagittarius are both Mutable Signs, thus extremely compatible. When these partners work together, they will easily come to agreements about who gets to take the credit for a specific achievement. Both will enjoy the recognition, and both are happy to be in the background too. These signs need alit of mental and physical stimulation but if Gemini gets bored with a project, Sagittarius might move on a bit later so they can learn all they want to know from the experience.

The best aspect of a Gemini-Sagittarius relationship is their mutual interest in cultivating knowledge, utilizing intellect and turning it into action. They are well matched in their enthusiasm, energy, and drive. Common interests and similar personalities makes them a compatible couple.

Leave me one?

:: 2003 28 January :: 9.13 pm
:: Mood: blah

shes cryin.
i love her. theres nothing i can do to stop. and now shes cryin because she found out the secrete.

Leave me one?

:: 2003 28 January :: 3.24 pm
:: Mood: crushed

sHe DuMpEd Me
OMG!OMG!OMG!OMG! i can't believe she did this to me. i bought her a $450 ring. and she dumped me.

1 left me one! | Leave me one?

:: 2003 27 January :: 6.37 pm
:: Mood: Another poem about stephanie

LOVE AND DEATH>>I WANT TO BE WITH YOU
some of u might have gotten this in your email. well i wrote it and my cuzzin started emailing it to everyone. here it is.

10th grade.
as i sat there in english clas, i stared at the girl next to me.
she was my so called "best friend"I stared at her long, silky hair.
I wished she was mine, but she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it.
After Class, she walked up to me and asked me for the notes she had missed the day before.
I handed them to her, She said thanks and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I wanted to tell her,
I want her to know that i don't want to be just friends, i love hre but i'm to shy, and i don't know why.


11th grade.
the phone rang, on the other end, it was her. she was in tears,
mumbling on and on about how her love had broke her heart,
she asked me to come over because she didn't want to be alone.,
so i did, as i sat next to her on the sofa, i stared at her soft eyes,
wishing she was mine, after 2 hours, one Drew Barrymore movie,
and three bags of chips, she decided to go to sleep, she looked at me,
said thanks and gave me a kiss on the cheek, i want to tell her,
i want her to know that i don't want to be just friends,
i love her but i'm just to shy, i don't know why.

senior year.
the day before the prom she walked to my locker.
My date is sick she said. hes not going to go. back in the 8th grade,
we promised eachother that if we didn't have dates we would go as best friends,
prom night, after everything was over, we stood there on her front door step,
i stared at her as she smilled. i wanted her to be mine, but she doesn't think of me like that and i know it,
then she said, thanks, and kissed me on the cheek, i want to tell her, i want her to know,
that i don't want to be just friends, but i'm to shy, i don't know why.


Graduation day.
the day of graduation she walks up to me,
good job she said, i'm proud to be known as your friend,there we sit, waiting for our names to be called,i'm sittin there smelling her hair, it smells so good,
her name is called, as shes walking up there i'm cheering,when it was over, we were alone, i wanted to tell her,i wanted her to know, i didn't just want to be friends,
i wanted to be more, she didn't think of me like that, and i knew it, well i'm just to shy, i don't know why.


A few years later.
one strange morning, i wake up early, turn on the new, and see that she had been hit by a car,
while attending the funneral, the minister decided to read a passage from her diary,
it said, here he sits next to me, does anything for me, has feelings for me, and yet he would never say, the words i wanted so badly to tell him myself, I LOVE YOU, i thought to myself for a moment,
then i ran off, found my old junior high hideing spot and cried, now i live without her, regreting never saying anything to her when she was still mine.

1 left me one! | Leave me one?

:: 2003 26 January :: 6.09 pm
:: Mood: lovestruck

love
I'm Sorry...
For all the mean things I might have said.
I'm Sorry...
For all the things I did or didn't do.
I'm Sorry...
If I ever ignored you.
I'm Sorry...
If I ever made you feel bad or put you down.
I'm Sorry...
If I ever thought I was bigger or better than you.
I LuvYou...
Don't ever forget that! Through bad times and good,
I'll always be here for you.
I am Sorry...
For everything wrong I've ever done.
I'm writing this because what if tomorrow never comes?
What if you never get to say good-bye or give a BIG hug to the people you care about?
What if you never get to say I'm sorry or I love you?
I LUV YOU

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