home | profile | guestbook


Then The Lightning Strikes...

recent entries | past entries


spud

:: 2010 12 March :: 10.41pm

it is a tenuous thread to which we cling.

that thread is the moment. that moment is life. we live in the present tense.

and yet, somehow, none of us is able to quite realize it at the time. you look back and say, "oh yeah, hey - look - we did a thing there just then!" that thing was a moment. a point in time at which you were doing that one thing with those one people. that was a good time. hell, even if it was a bad time, you still remember it. and it is something you share. memories have this unnerving propensity to decay over time. and that decay - that shelf life - is what gives those memories their value. valuable moreso for being unique to the individuals involved, and the lack of likelihood of their passing it on to a second party, and that party's then furthering the cause.

memories die over the ages. it seems sad that we only mourn them post-mortem.

that is why when i die there better be a fuckin' party. because i want the only thing people to be able to remember is that it was a hell of a good time. in homage to a life of good times.

2 left me one! | Leave me one?


spud

:: 2010 10 March :: 2.34pm

why the fuck don't i have a job?

it might have something to do with the current recession.

or it could just be that i live in michigan, and it snows a lot. i didn't realize that our frequent snowstorms were part of the economic turbulence.

then again, if you follow THEIR snowstorms link, it takes you to a page that references monthly surveys of businesses and households. at which point all of the statistics and graphs and bullshit they can muster don't apply to me, simply because i've lived here for two years and not once have gotten asked by any survey whether or not i am gainfully employed.

i always hated stats. calculus just makes so much more sense.

Leave me one?


spud

:: 2010 4 March :: 1.01am

so yeah. think i have a cold of some sort. that's pretty bitchin'. shan tomorrow, dad friday, kevie-poo early next week. weekend's pretty open, but the neighbors might be having a fire. that'd be fun. i like fire. and stars.

actually, i made a very important (personally) discovery tonight about the stars that i often look at. if you know the constellations cassiopeia and orion, then you can find what i'm talking about. because right in between them, there is this weird curvy group of stars. these are all visible to the naked eye on a clear night. when i first saw it, i was most struck by its resemblance to a parabolic curve. and ever since then i've wanted to figure out what constellation it is, and if i could find a mathematical equation for the curve that would best fit that group of stars (have them all be on or very near it). i'm lazy so it'll probably never happen. and i'm discouraged by the likelihood that someone else has already beat me to the punch. anyway, i discovered tonight (through the use of these programs) that the stars i was looking at belong primarily to the constellation perseus. obviously, there are some stars of perseus that i have omitted from "my" grouping, and may have stolen one or two from somewhere else, but it's still a cool pattern.

but now i'm pissed because the entire time i was trying to watch for perseid meteors, i had no idea where in the sky to look. i guess now i know for the next time. but it's frustrating that i would have been able to, had i known the name of the constellation i've been looking at for the past couple of years already. but now i do, so there.

5 left me one! | Leave me one?


rayray

:: 2010 16 February :: 6.57pm
:: Music: Life After You - Daughtry

Life.. it happens whether we want it to or not..
I feel like I have hit a stand still in my life.
I don't feel like I am moving forward or backward.
I am completely happy with everything that has happened.
I love my life, just feel like it's too straight and narrow.
I hate my job; getting up at the same time, leaving at the same time, doing the same thing everyday, and seeing the same people.
I hate the repitition.
I understand that no matter what job I will end up doing, I will be doing the same thing over and over.
But after 2 years, I need a new scene. I need a different atmosphere.
I need to be able to go to work, and know that I'm not going to get into an argument with my boss over something petty.
I need a drastic change on the job front, like yesterday.
Something where I will see different people everyday.
I might be able to handle getting up at the same time, and leaving at the same time, if i had a different atmosphere to go to, and enjoy.

Having my nights to myself is lonely, and although I should be filling it with my homework, I don't.
I don't have the ambition to do my homework, because I am too caught up in being exhausted from work, and thinking about how I am just going to be going home to an empty, well almost empty house.

Ugh!..

1 left me one! | Leave me one?


tuwang

:: 2010 11 February :: 11.54am

It's not that it happened, its that you don't understand why

Leave me one?


spud

:: 2010 29 January :: 10.20am

winter camp

is better than you.

high of like 20 all weekend up there. should be fun.

: P

2 left me one! | Leave me one?


tuwang

:: 2010 28 January :: 11.17am

じゃ。。。 実は俺ホンマに俺の本当の気持ちを書きたいっていう気持ちが出てこちに誰も分からないように日本語で書く。

最近はまーまーやな。 なんてやってもいろいろがまだ悪いことにしてる。でも俺だけじゃなくて毎日授業中とか道路で歩いてる人とか誰でもすごくかわいそうな顔してる。無効に座ってる女が遅くサンド食べてて何か待ってることがありそうな感じだ。

つまりこの所が体にも心にもわるいんだ.

出たいな!っていつも考えてるのになんでかな? 出身じゃないか? 子供時代からずっと住んでる場所じゃないか?いつも好きじゃないとだめだっていう考え方もってるけど 嫌いな!大嫌いなんだよ!

1 left me one! | Leave me one?


spud

:: 2010 27 January :: 1.01am

cable television
it's sad that this is what my life has become.

i'm watching a movie on flix. i hit info. this is what comes up.

Snake Island (2002) (a rating of one star is always a good sign):
creepy nonsense about killer reptiles terrorizing clueless tourists.

lmfao.

Leave me one?


rayray

:: 2010 25 January :: 5.42pm

All the cool kids are doing it..
Has a hate list of her own today..

I hate that I have to be mean to get anywhere with morons that have better jobs than me.
I hate that I suck as a friend.
I hate that I don't realize that some things have boundaries, until its too late.
I hate that there isn't anything I can do in certain situations.
I hate that my boyfriend is back on second shift.
I hate that I have no ambition to do the ass load of homework that I have piled up on my desk.
I hate that I hate so many things.

Thought I had more to say, but I lost it..

4 left me one! | Leave me one?


spud

:: 2010 24 January :: 4.40pm
:: Music: explosions in the sky - welcome ghosts (embedded)



2 left me one! | Leave me one?


spud

:: 2010 20 January :: 7.55pm

vampirezombieraptor vs. robotcheney

discuss.

6 left me one! | Leave me one?


spud

:: 2010 14 January :: 5.05pm

i just made a post on farmville that contained the phrase "asexually reproduce" and they censored the phrase thusly: "a***ually reproduce"

what the fuck?

edit:

i realized i forgot to mention that over the christmas holiday, i was offered a full time position drumming with the machines (that band i played with in grand haven on the 18th). as of yet, we have no gigs lined up, and are still working on compiling a set list. if you have any suggestions, please shout them out at the top of your lungs. or just post a comment, if that's easier for you. i think we're trying to stick in the oldies/rock/blues-type area, and we need stuff that's kinda danceable. not necessarily slow, but danceable. and easy, did i mention easy? i mean, i don't want this to be like actual work or something. ; ) just whatever you'd want to hear a band play while you're out at the bar. and the bar is full of "old" people.

Leave me one?


spud

:: 2010 13 January :: 10.05pm

i have a subwoofer/amplifier combo that i need to sell, so i can get plates and insurance on my truck.

it's a JL Audio 12W3 woofer in a custom enclosure, matched with a 250/1 class D amplifier. they are awesome together, and i am very sad to see them go, but it's cargo i'm not currently using, and making money is hard without legal transpo. so there you have it.

i paid over $300 for this setup when i bought it, and have taken very good care of it. i mean, it gets pretty loud, but i've never abused it. just don't try and win any SPL competitions with it and you should be fine. it'll warm up the bottom end of your stock sound, and actually take some of the strain away from speakers that struggle to reproduce lower frequencies. and maybe even shake your mirrors a smidgen.

if you're interested, just let me know. offer whatever you feel is fair, and i'll see if i can make it work. amplifier comes with all original hardware and packaging, for your convenience.

here be some pictures of the goods:











3 left me one! | Leave me one?


rayray

:: 2009 31 December :: 11.22am

I was trying to remember what I have done on New Years Eve for the past 10 years.. but there are some blank memories in there..

So, if you were involved, tell me memories you shared with me..

Leave me one?


box

:: 2009 29 December :: 4.29am

This is the kind of thing we need to hear these days.
I believe that banking institutions are more dangerous to our
liberties than standing armies. If the American people ever allow
private banks to control the issue of their currency, first by
inflation, then by deflation, the banks and corporations that will grow
up around [the banks] will deprive the people of all property until
their children wake-up homeless on the continent their fathers
conquered. The issuing power should be taken from the banks and
restored to the people, to whom it properly belongs.

- Thomas Jefferson, Letter to the Secretary of the Treasury Albert Gallatin (1802)

Leave me one?


rayray

:: 2009 25 December :: 4.06pm

Had a rough couple of days.
They were more or less just extremely emotional and frustrating.
Had a hard time dealing with the 5 year anniversary of my grandma's death, and then this being the first christmas without my other grandma.
Argued 2 days in a row, with probably the most ignorant person in Ionia County.

I have felt a lot of unnecessary stress this week.
I think I am finally getting over it.
Thought I would have more Christmas spirit than I ended up with, but I guess shit happens.
Better luck next year.

1 left me one! | Leave me one?


spud

:: 2009 21 December :: 2.18pm
:: Mood: kinda stressed

My birthday weekend.

both gigs went well this weekend. friday was definitely more fun for me. saturday didn't really pan out at all how i hoped, but i still got a couple drinks from people, which was nice. the mix didn't sound very good for the first set or two on saturday because the bartender kept coming up to me and barking orders at me. seriously, the second time he came up to me and asked me to "turn it down... mostly the drums" and i kindly explained to him that i had no control over the loudness of the drums, and that if he wanted things quieter (as i had already acquiesced to his prior request) he would have to go ask the drummer to play more softly. as it turned out, i just told the drummer i was going to mix around him from then on... since the mix sucked because i brought the mains down... and that he would be the benchmark for whatever volume we wind up at. i also mentioned that we had a request to "turn it down," but that i wasn't his boss, so i wouldn't tell him what to do. he did play a little softer, which was actually nice for him, since it wasn't so much of a workout that way.

ultimately, though, people are dumb. especially people in charge of bars. you cram an acoustic drum set into an alcove with a big glass window and a tile floor and expect it to NOT be loud? that's just plain stupid.

friday night was fun, though. a total jam. it was so nice to play in front of a crowd, with other musicians. there's just something magical about that combination that makes it so much fun. the bass player had a nice pocket, so it was really easy for me to settle into a groove pretty much right away on every song. the hardest part was taking cues for changes, stops, endings, etc. especially from the guitar player. what a dick. i agreed to give him my vocal mic, so he could run his amp through the PA, and during sound check it was fine, but he kept turning his amp up throughout the show, so that by the end of the night it was waaaay too loud. and he was terrible at giving cues. it was like he expected me to somehow magically just know what he was thinking, and do exactly what he wanted me to. utterly ridiculous. diego's cues were much easier to follow. and my performance on the respective songs showed it. every song that roger led wound up being kind of a trainwreck. and did i mention that it really shouldn't have been, since every single one was the exact same 12-bar blues. i wanted to shoot myself. he did one that was in 6/8. that was kind of exciting. but then he still fucked up the cues, so i had no idea what was going on. diego's got the right idea, though. you start together, you end together, and you jam out in the middle. that's how it works. and you communicate effectively where the changes are TO THE ENTIRE GROUP so that everyone is together. otherwise, you wind up with what roger gave us, which is diddly, and sounds bad. also, there were several songs (most notably rock and roll by led zeppelin) that i had to drastically slow down, because roger was old and couldn't play that fast. i had not practiced at those speeds, which made it feel strange. then, he left early and didn't help tear down, because he had to work in the morning. but in the end, diego paid me extra, so he must've thought i had done a good job, and he said that anytime he needs a drummer, i'll be his go-to guy. so that's cool.

i was supposed to work today, but the truck is no longer road legal, as i have no registration OR insurance for it. so i emailed the office, and explained the situation and that i would not be able to work today. hopefully they got the message and understand.

i was kinda pissed at them anyway, because usually they ask me if i'm available before they schedule me. this time, they scheduled me without asking, saying that someone would call to confirm with me on saturday. i never received a phone call - still haven't. i was never asked if i was available (which i am obviously not, for one reason or another). i don't think i'm in the wrong here. i do feel bad in that i should have told them sooner, but i was holding out on the hope that i'd get enough birthday money, and have enough leftover from the gigs to take care of all those issues. unfortunately, that did not wind up being the case.

and my fucking loan payment is due in a week again. i haven't heard back at all from that deferment request i submitted.

all in all, life is bullshit, but i'm still trying to make the most of it.

2 left me one! | Leave me one?


box

:: 2009 21 December :: 4.16am

I'm Drunk... at jenny's house.. and you all fail..

Mine!

Leave me one?


skife

:: 2009 17 December :: 11.30pm

Dear santa clause, Go fuck yourself.
I'm depressed because;

My wallet is empty
My paycheck is spent (can't even cash it until tomorrow)
I can't buy anybody christmas presents this year.


I know how "Tennessee" Earnie Ford felt when he is singing "sixteen tons"

4 left me one! | Leave me one?


skife

:: 2009 16 December :: 10.31am

woke up scared to death at 5am or so.

had this weird dream, i was hanging out in this housing development with kelli and jordan, and then i remember jordan's mom called, so i got into an old ford bronco and went to pick her up or something and then this henry guy called and he called all night, telling me things about myself freaking me out, then he said he'd be there in 20 minutes. i really didn't want to stick around to see who this guy was because i thought he was going to kill me, then while i was driving my truck got sucked backwards and kind of spun twards a tree and my door flew open and i flew out and face first right twards a tree. i remember the tree vividly.
the next thing i remember is seeing a bunch of white letters on a black background in a weird font. i was speaking gibberish and then i woke up.



about an hour later jordan woke me up saying i was talking gibberish while sleeping.


i hate dieing in dreams, it freaks me out.

3 left me one! | Leave me one?

Woohu.com | Random Journal