Then The Lightning Strikes...

:: 2008 5 November :: 11.59pm

i thought the pornstar's husband was going to rat everyone out.

FUCKING CLASSIC!!!

rayray

:: 2008 4 November :: 9.11am

So I've basically spent the last day and a half in bed..
I made an attempt at work yesterday. I felt perfectly fine, then all of a sudden I'm sweating profusely, feeling like I am going to vomit, and then I passed out.
I've been shakey, cold, then extremely hot.
The littlest movement makes my head throb so bad I start balling.
My head hurts even more when the lights are on.

I feel like ass, and look just as worse.

My sister, Derrick, and Seth are coming up in a couple of weeks.
Im really excited about that because I miss them all..

eddy	:: 2008 3 November :: 6.36pm :: Music: Chevelle - Panic Prone The old problems still stick around. But I think things are looking up for me. I'm hopeful, at the very least. 5 left me one! \| Leave me one?

tuwang

:: 2008 2 November :: 11.31am

you never realize how bitter cold you are until you step into that hot shower.

:: 2008 31 October :: 1.17am

FYI: my turds are tapered.

also, i bowled a 163, 149, and 169 tonight.

my average is 147

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:: 2008 30 October :: 4.18pm

You have confirmed your interview schedule on 11/6/2008 at 4:00 PM. Please report to the HR office at Sears Auto Center. For more information, please call 6162857721.

spud

:: 2008 29 October :: 1.26am
:: Mood: contemplative

recollections
::

i feel like i've lost a lot of my pizzazz. (or maybe you spell it pissass. depending on how many laxatives i took that day.) you know? i feel like i used to have more vitality, more everything. not that i was a driven, self-motivated type of person. not that i was spastic or rambunctious. i just feel like i had an undercurrent of motion that just isn't there anymore.

nowadays i let the simplest things prevent me from getting anything done, and i really don't feel the need to try and innovate, or make new things happen. i'm content to attempt, and fail, to merely recreate those which have come before. nothing outstanding. nothing superb. i just settle for okay.

but that really doesn't seem right. i don't want just an okay life. i don't want just okay friends. okay coworkers. okay family. that's not how it works for me. i feel like everything about my life up to this point has been outrageous. and now it's just mellowing out. i guess it's my job to keep it outrageous. but i have a lot of fucking jobs right now, which i guess is what's bogging me down. so, adding the job of unbogging myself to the pile doesn't really work. it'll just exacerbate the problem.

so, i just need to get a few things out of the way, one at a time, so that i have a bit more freedom to have some of that guilt-free, sporadic, funtime. where my energy is put to its most effectively pragmatic use. because clearly i don't get shit done when it comes to actual work. but give me something fun to do, and i'll forget to eat, sleep, and go to the bathroom, i'm so diligent.

and faking myself out to think that the "work" stuff is actually "fun" stuff doesn't cut it. believe me, i've tried. although, i have discovered that some of the "fun" stuff is actually "work". but since it falls under "fun" in my classifications, i can still do that, at least.

i guess we'll make it happen eventually. and until then, i'll just have to tough it out. but i want to be fun and exciting again. none of this boring, grumpy, old man nonsense. that suits me at times. but i don't think this should be one of those times.

i'll get there, and i'll enjoy it. but i'm not there yet. and there's no sense in rushing it.

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:: 2008 27 October :: 11.37am

the sun came out today.

:: 2008 27 October :: 5.46am

All my eggs are now in one basket.

Chapter 2: the beginning.

tuwang

:: 2008 27 October :: 2.33pm

So, as with most updates as of late, I will preface my story with "interesting weekend".

this one I might actually describe though...

So Friday night was the Halloween party, which I feel like I'm continuously misspelling for some reason or another. A lot of fun, I got all good and sauced up for that because I had announcing to do. It helped with making everyone laugh, but did not help with pronouncing japanese names with horrible handwriting. To be crude, it looks like chicken scratch to me as is, but when someone writes like a 2 year old it makes it even more difficult. Either way, there was no harm done, and the party went off. It ended in a good mood and I continued to move on with my day. So at about 9 PM, me and my group of friends, including Nate, who thinks I'm a racist, Kelly, the blonde cutie who also thinks I am a racist, Yui, Nick, Megan, Adam, and Cooper, headed out to Kyoto for a wonderful night of dancing and getting shit faced! yay!

There were a few things wrong with this for me....

1) I was dehydrated

2) I was way too tired to be pulling an all nighter

3) I didn't eat all day

So, after consuming 3 chu-his, a bottle of vodka, and a half a bottle of wine, my mind was in a state of intoxication that I have never seen before. Granted for the first few hours of dancing my mind worked fine, but after 3 LIT's in the club I started to have crazy ideas. This lead to me leaving my group and wandering around Kyoto at 4:30 in the AM. Not cool at all. Although moderately entertaining.

I'm sorry Chris. I wish you could have been there to see it.

I'm pretty sure I'm an alcoholic...

three cheers?

:: 2008 26 October :: 9.54pm

Its hard to forgive what happened.

Its also hard to lose a friend that close.

what to do?

:: 2008 26 October :: 3.52pm
:: Music: blink 182 - always

for once, i'm enjoying the rain

:: 2008 26 October :: 1.19pm

it really sucks losing sombody i was that close with, Its not worth my pain for that though.

also, with all the depressing entry's lately, i bring you ken, the lawn jockey

:: 2008 25 October :: 4.11am
:: Mood: numb

"regret nothing, Live every day as if it we're your last"
Since red flannel I've learned alot about myself, alot more than I care to know.

I know now that I try and change myself to fit in with someone else.
I know what its like to say "I love you" and truly mean it
I have cried, I don't do that ever.
I have driven to points where I feel nothing at all, then I cut myself just to see if pain even exists, it doesn't.
I have compleatly handed my heart to someone
who had no idea what to do with it, and later crushed it.

I knew what I was getting into, she warned me, told me not to do it.
I've also learned to listen.
I've learned lies hurt more than the truth.

In the past month, I've felt the best I ever have in life, I feel the worst I ever have right now.

This girl has driven me to do things I've never considered ever before, I wish I could put into words the way I'm feeling now.

flexeril can't even take these feelings away.

When the time comes, just remember.
"Regret nothing and live every day as if its your last."

Erin Marie Crisp,

Again, I've never been as sorry as I am now about how much i hurt you.
again I'm sorry.

Justin McW,
You we're right, my knife is definatally not sharp enough.

:: 2008 22 October :: 11.28pm

Sons of Anarchy
so far on SoA i've recognized 2 songs

clutch - can't stop progress
Dropkick murphys - johnny i hardly knew ya

jax is a badass, plain and simple, throwing a guy through a glass door last week, then this week shooting him in the head.

also gemma's friend had a good one liner "six years of taking two in the ass while a teenager cums on
my face!"

rayray

:: 2008 22 October :: 6.16pm

So after a lot of discussing, we have highly considered moving to Wyoming..
The final decision isn't going to be up to me, because I am not the one that has a child.
Also, we are looking at getting an english bulldog puppy.
Im still waiting for my civil service date.
And at this rate, I don't think I am going to get in to take it until december.

:: 2008 19 October :: 11.11pm
:: Music: weigh on my mind - the transplants

I've made the decision to stop drinking so much, also i need to get some shit straightened out in my life.

and i bring some lyrics,

Read more..

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tuwang

:: 2008 19 October :: 7.43pm

so. Interesting weekend.

I went and saw some old temple. I say it like that because after your 5th or 6th temple you stop appreciating the grandeur of them. Not that I have no appreciation at all... but they start to blend together. This one happened to be on top of this hill/mountain and almost naturally blended into the scenery. I mean, you had to look past the hordes of people that were there but otherwise it was quite scenic. It also helped that I had a fantastic tour guide, although I dont' think she thought so so much. Whatev, it was a good time.

Afterwards we went to eat pizza... which you don't see very often. (I've been here for about a month and 3 weeksish now and I've done pretty good, so I deserve a good cheating).

I've been progressivly losing weight... not so healthy I don't think, but I eat alot. Maybe I should just eat more?

this up coming weekend will be very hectic. Shigadai party on friday, and then kyoto on saturday (like every fucking weekend). But it's sort of the halloween weekend for them, so it should be interesting to see how they percieve the condemned holiday.

speaking of which, I still can't decide on a costume... any ideas?

:: 2008 18 October :: 3.28am
:: Mood: high

i see it, i wonder if they do too.

:: 2008 16 October :: 10.29pm

bowled a 102, 180, and 152. i'm feeling good.