thoughtskill
|
::
2004 13 March :: 12.56pm
:: Mood: flirty
im sOo luCky
Heyy guys .. well last night was basicallythe same thing as usual.. went to the movies w/ sarah, chris, nick , mark , daniella, n shannon came 2 , n bunches of other ppl.. than nick asked me out =] yay n corse i sed yeshh lol
i love you baby
Than nick left n me marissa daniela kaela n sarah n shannon hung outside n than me n sarah went home n watched t.v. for a while..
thats basically it.. today im going to jamie n hopefully ill see muh baby
5 days till my bday
I LOVE NICK & SARAH
tO be w/ yOu
HOLD ON
|
behindmymask
|
::
2004 12 March :: 10.11am
:: Mood: bitchy
life
SEAN IS AN ASS............
HES PROBLY GUNNA GO OUT WITH EMMA..... A GOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDDDDYYYYY
SOMEONE HE CANT HAVE "FUN" WITH!
GUESS ITS TIME TO PULL OUT THE OL' HALTER TOP AGAIN!
MAYBE CHELSEA WAS RIGHT .... HE PROBLY WAS USING ME!
WHY DID VANESSA SAY I LL HAVE A PARTY IF JENNY DUPMED SEAN?
OH WELLL SHE GETS HER PARTY AND I GET TO TELL TERESEA (SEANS SISTER) EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
1 I'm almost there |
HOLD ON
|
|
thoughtskill
|
::
2004 11 March :: 5.49pm
:: Mood: worried
:: Music: will & grace
How could she take you away..*
Havn't wrote in here in forever
Friday..sarah came home w/ me n we when to mcdonalds than we went to the movies.. chris asked sara out there =] sarah, chris, lindsey, garret, daniel, kimmy, n some other ppl went n say that starsky & hutch mOve [ it waz really funny ] me & lindsey were laughin our asses off =] but iwas all alone cuhz nick's sister's appendix burst or something lyk that.. but he came at lyk 9:3o when the movie was over n i hung out w/ him outside =] & i saw JAY! <3. Than saturday i babysat.. & jay divorced me ='[ monday was fcat n i thought jay was dead so i was cryin all day but he was ok [ he almost died tho < / 3 ] & than we went to target n my baby cuzin faith hit her head n her tooth fell out so they hadda go to the hospital .. tuesday was kev's birthday me & sarah went to his game [ they won ] yay n i got him a cd =] , wednesday i had the worst day . . not gonna go into that.. more cryin . . . then i but i got home n nick called me n we were on the phone till lyk midnight =] today i found out kevin is askin out this sara chick =/ ergh. mm o well we have assigned seats @ lunch n i sit next to my jay !! i love my jay so much <333 even if he did divorce me 2wice it dont matter cuz he hes my EVERYTHING! i miss jill < / 3 ..
tomarrow me & sarah r going to the movies again
n i get to see my nick =]
*..When yOu were mine fOr sO lOng ?
< / 3
1 I'm almost there |
HOLD ON
|
behindmysmile
|
::
2004 11 March :: 4.11pm
:: Mood: lonely
Please dont do this to me..
Oh wowow today was fuckin horrible..1st hour was fun i guess..i actually did my work for math, it was great stuff =p Mrs. Johantgen was soo proud lol..
Then second hour..holy shit..i was sittin there and yeah i was streched out on Cassie Browns cubical thingy so i could talk to her, and yeah she saw uhm *cuts* on my arm, and yeah she freaked out, got a pass went to the bathroom and i jus left the class and ran after her, and yeah we talked..well she screamed..then she told duffey and lisa, and yeah then cassie smith found out and becky.
And then becky was going to tell BRANDY!!! In 3rd hour and beckys like well shes ur friend you sould tell her, im sure she wont tell anyone and then yeah she was hinting at wat it was and brandy guessed it but i jus like joked around about it, and becky laughed so im sure she knows..i told becky if she told her then i wasnt going to talk to her anymore, and then i like left the class bcuz i couldnt take her shit anymore, and i guess brandy and her became good friends while i was gone, and then yeah i didnt talk all lunch and anyway brandy was too busy wif becky anyway, and cassie smith wasnt on my lunch todya, and then cassie brown i was mad at her and lisa was being retarded and so i was totally silent the whole time..big shocker!!
Then i got outta 4th hour too, i couldnt sit in that class really, i was seriously about to pass out, so i went back down to arkison..urgh she gave me the biggest headache..urgh i dont want to go to skool anymore..fuck it!! =(
I want Kyndra to come back tho, i really miss her dang it, i need to talk to her, but i wont be able to see her till wed bcuz group was changed to then, and guess wat my counsler from the aware shelter is coming in to talk in my group lol..fun shit
Well ima go i luv you all ltos byes!!
3 I'm almost there |
HOLD ON
|
|
behindmysmile
|
::
2004 10 March :: 11.50am
:: Mood: thankful
:: Music: Toxic --nasty ass b spears =p
When forever ends, i will still luv you..
Well hey nothing really going on today, its an early release day so we get outta school here soon after this class we get to go to lunch and then go home which is friggin awesome because I hope that my mom is gone so that I can get online, not that there will be anything to do because yeah NOBODY will be online because yeah they’ve got school HAHA but oh wells neways..
I really don’t have anything to say, but Brittany I love you soo much and I hope that we can talk soon. I miss talking to you, and I hope that you do to. I don’t know, I just hope that you still wanna be friends, I luv you soo much!!
Ali jean thanks for making my day this morning, I came into class and I was all pissed off because I was tardy for fuckin helping out one of my teachers wif this german pemission slip thingy, and I got in trouble..i aint helping nobody no more!! =( But neway thanks for being soo sweet and being one of the best friends ive ever had!! I luv you soo much!!Well that’s enough for today, I luv you all lots, ex you chelsie =p Latah babes
1 I'm almost there |
HOLD ON
|
|
behindmysmile
|
::
2004 9 March :: 10.23am
:: Mood: excited
Does it really matter..
Just sitting here in uprights class with another sub, with my bestest buddy Lisa Marie and Cassie!!!!
Well today i skipped 1st hour and then i forgot that it was tuesday so i missed group today..lol Kyndra is giong to kill me, bcuz shes in Mexico right now and last week she told me that she wasnt going to be here for group this week and that she wasnt going to be here this week and so i told her that i didnt wanna go to group if she wasnt going to be there and then yeah she told me that i had to, so i siad that i would and then i ACCIDENTLY =p missed it this morning shes giong to beat me up!! hehe oh wells i luv that lady i cant wait until she comes home!! =)
But neways i wrote you a letter last nite britty, and i like was all ready to send it this morning i had the stamp on the envolope n everything but i decided not to send it, but im sure that im going to send it 2marro. But yeah you have to tell me the day that ou get it. I luv you lots babes and n miss you tons babes!! *and yes it does matter* I LUV YOU!!
Chelsie thanks for everything, your the best babes..well i dont really have anything to say rite now ive gotta give cassie here computer back because shes going to get all mad n everything lol..but neways luv you all lots!!
<33 Jilly!!
Oh yeah by the way..i cant get online during the week anymore, thats me and my moms deal, only on the weekends!! But oh wells luv you all lots!! =)
HOLD ON
|
|
behindmysmile
|
::
2004 7 March :: 8.53pm
:: Mood: thankful
:: Music: Nobody knows--Kevin sharp
Is that all that i am to you..
How's my journal now everyone..better..or worse let me know!! =)
Ya know ive been thinking about alotta things lately, and one topic that i was thinking about was about who my *true* friends are..and if i am a *true* friend. And who i am a *true* friend to..
A while ago like a long while ago britty told me what she thought a true friend was, and ive stuck with this *definition* or *opinion* ever since. A true friend is someone who is there through everything, and accepts you for who you are. *or something like that*
I know that i dont have many true friends, but i started thinking, and after a while, i realized that i have more than i think that i do..Like Britty, Chelsie, Ali Jean, Brittney, Tiffany, Cassie, Lisa, Becky Dawn, James, Mike, Steffanie, and a few others. Like seriously i know that if i ever needed anything, anyone of those ppl would be right there by my side!! Do you know how lucky am i for that!!
Then i was thinking, and i tried to think of some people that ive always been a true friend to..and seriously you might think this is like my *low self asteem* talking but really i cant think of one person..yeah britty, but yeah she knows that i aint ALWAYS been, chelsie neither, Lisa and i didnt like eachother 8th grade..cassie and i neither, James and i stopped talking for a while, same with Mike..i guess i could say Tiffany Becky Dawn and Steffanie i have been a true friend too, but 1. Becky Dawn was easy, all you have to do is listen to her guy problems and give advice really..and Steffanie same, just a few more things, and just keeping touch when she just recently moved, that too..Tiffany iw ould have to say i really am a true friend to her, its been hard, but its been worth it..i luv you babes!! But really who else..i cant really think of many..maybe gloria, ive alwyas been here for her..shes sucha great person tho..i cant help it *now shes my daw daw and im her mother J* YaYaY!! lol but no seriusly the only reason i try and be there for her as much as i can is because yeah she mite be popular goofy and happy but i think there is much more to her, or much more than the rest of her friends at least, maybe thats mean..i dont care =p
But i dont know..you know how i think too much..welll thats it for today, i'll prolly write more 2marro..latah every1.
2 I'm almost there |
HOLD ON
|
|
behindmysmile
|
::
2004 6 March :: 10.31pm
If only you could see the tears in my heart
Im just putting these qoutes on here so that i dont lose them =p haha
But really..they do mean something to me..=( oh wells life goes on ya know!!
"You can't hurt someone unless you really mean something to them."
"The greatest pain in life is not to die, but to be forgotten and ignored."
"At least be there to wipe away my tears if you're going to make me cry."
HOLD ON
|
|
behindmysmile
|
::
2004 6 March :: 6.43pm
:: Mood: weird
*If only life was this way..
Omg..BEST WEEKEND EVER WAS THIS WEEKEND!! Wowo and Friday too!! OmG you have no idea im soo fuckin happy rite now!! Okay friday oh wow with the snowfest games and every class being shorter, that was soo much fun!! Oh gosh and then after skool.. =)
okay me and becky were going to the bathroom, and like i was walking backwards and becky was walking forward cuz there were snowcones on the ceiling and they had every1 in 9th grades name on it..so we were looking for her name..and like we were at the last one and im like okay i dont know and im like im going to the bathroom and i walked like rite into the guys bathroom and beckys like no no no not that one no..and it wouldnt have been as bad cuz there was nobody around except nathan nimps was walking out rite as i was walking in..omg me and her started fuckin busting up!! She almost pissed her pants!!!!!! =p It was great..=D
And then we like were hanging out and doing stuff at her..and baby sitting the cutest lil girl kassi..Her niece..and like yeah then kevin came got us *her boyfriend* we went to mcdonalds then to the dance after driving around for like forever..it was GREAT!! He is soo fun and kool..im glad she got sucha good one!! Then the dance omg every1 thuoght i was high off my ass..i sweear i wasnt..really..but we were dancing the whole time it was soo fuckin fun!!
Me and chad were dancing together too, which was kinda bad cuz his gf if she found out she would die =( But i luv ashley..and i hope she dont find out..but yeah me and lisa and cassie smith and brown and like arianna and ashley b and brenda and monika and all of us were dancing together it was great!! And yeah it was just great..me and Cassie smith had a fuckin blast!!
And then stayed up at till about 3-4 in the morning talking to becky dawn..about EVERYTHING!! It was fuckin awesome!! But then today nicoles baby shower, yeah that was great i was really surprised that cassie smith actually showed up but that was fuckin awesome and then me and cassie and becky went and baby sat kassi for abit and then my mom came and got me and cassie and too bad she was grounded..but oh wells now im home and im bout to leave in a second to go to chads!!!! =) omfg i luv this kid!!
Me and Cassie i sweear are bcoming like best friends again..you guys have no idea how happy that makes me!!!!!! But tahts enough for t nite.gotta go luv you all lots!! Byes!!
HOLD ON
|
|
thoughtskill
|
::
2004 4 March :: 5.02pm
me & jay are married again =]
3-3-o4 !!!
I LOVE JAY MICHAEL CASCADDEN!!
i missed you so much.
<3.
tomarrow = movies =]
1 I'm almost there |
HOLD ON
|
|
behindmysmile
|
::
2004 4 March :: 11.19am
:: Mood: tired
Everything must change sooner or latah..
Wow, yesterday was interesting..I got to talk to Kyndra yesterday which was AWESOME!! =) I really luv talking to that lady!!
But neways also yesterday ryan came over so taht he and josh could help me fix my lil scooter thingy..which was MAJORLY odd..i dont know why yesterday was interesting..it jus was =p
But today has been pretty good..got in trouble in woodruff's class again. Second hour was really really fun in gym playin v ball n everything!! Wow we kicked some booty!! =p Im hoping to get outta this hour, im hoping kyndra will come this hour cuz she told me that she would come today if i wanted her to, and so yeah i did. So she sould be coming soon!! =) I hope she comes soon at least.. =p
Latah t nite we've gotta go shopping for something to wear for snowfest, and then im gonna try and go to this hall decorating thingy from 4-8 but im not sure yet!!
But thats enough for now..illw rite more another time!
I luv you britty!! *never leave me*
1 I'm almost there |
HOLD ON
|
|
behindmysmile
|
::
2004 2 March :: 6.58pm
:: Mood: frustrated
:: Music: amazed--Lonestar
Its just one more day..
It seems like every time i try to make
Things up to you, it all blows up in my
face..all i want to do is be there for you
and care about you wif all that i have
All i want to do, is be the friend that
you've been to my all of my life, but it
just doesnt work out that way!!
I know that we've been through hell n
back, and i wish that things were diff
i wish that we were still the best of
friends..two friends that everyone knew
would be best friends forever..two friends
that were soo close!! i jus want things
to be the same again, wat happened
between the two of us =(
Your the best friend that ive ever had,
and i hope you believe that to be true.
I'd give anything to be ur best friend
again, but it seems to me tha we've
went our seperate ways, and started
our own lives..please tell me if you still
want to be friends, please tell me if there
is anything i can do to help our friendship!!
Things change..people change, shit happens..but l.i.f.e. g.o.e.s. o.n. Yeah i dont believe that, becuz w/o you..my life is over..i luv you soo fuckin much!! And i miss you!! You sould knw who you are..and if not..wow..some1 is either totally retarted..doesnt care..or hasnt been payin attention =/
i luv you wif alla my heart, never leave me =(
HOLD ON
|
|
behindmysmile
|
::
2004 2 March :: 12.19pm
:: Mood: anxious
One last night with you..
Wow today is like soo bORING!! You guys have no idea..but yeah today was tuesday which means today i got to go into group, but woodruff *my 1st hour teacher* was really pissed off that i was late, and then he like bitched me out when i came back into class to get my stuff, and then yeah i was late to second hour which means i got a detention from mcdowell for being tardy and then he bitched, and urgh they piss me off!!
Now im behind on my layout thingy in his class too but fuck him, screaw this skool i hate this skool!!!!!!!!
neways, yeah kyndra is coming back on thurs so that we can *talk* YaYaY!! Im soo happy i luv talking to her!! And then today i cant go to my other counsler, yeah my mom is sucha bitch i knew she would do this, shes going to act like were going every time but its giong o tbe like yeah we cant go today and then next week oh im sick..I told her that im not going anymore =p
But oh wells, ill write more latah
I luv you soo friggin much britters!! =)
1 I'm almost there |
HOLD ON
|
|
behindmysmile
|
::
2004 29 February :: 9.26pm
:: Mood: lazy
:: Music: suga suga--steve n his bf josh's song =p
i member everythin bout us, every kiss, every hug, even every smile..
Wow, its like only 9 15 and im really tired..so i think that im gonna get offline and prolly go to sleep or at least stare at my wall till the early hours in the morning since i cant ever sleep..
The only reason i get online is to talk to me best friend brittany, but she friggin is either online and not talking, or shes not on at all..so i dont see the point in being online..
Cept for talking to my baby ali jean, cept she seems preoccupied these days..i dont know maybe its just me..
maybe im jus imagining everything, yeah i dont know anymore, it feels like im walking in slow motion, my life is racing rite past me and there is nothing that i can do about it..
oh wells ima go..luv you all..byes!!
1 I'm almost there |
HOLD ON
|
|
thoughtskill
|
::
2004 29 February :: 9.14pm
:: Mood: exhausted
:: Music: none..
i have no idea what to do -*
friday.. movies. there were so many people there =] we had to sit on the flOor cuz there was no seats - kev got mad at me for hangin out w. nick.. mm yea but he asked me out a couple x but i sed i dunno.. i have no idea what im gonna do.. anyway than kev left n i was with nick for about an hour.. than went home n sarah spent the night.. woke up round 10 went to the fields round 1:30 .. watched kevo's game they lost !! =[ ::tear tear:: .. than we were gonna walk home lol but kev's mom took us home =] thank godd cuhz it was 6 miles.. haha but we were gonna do it ! than me n sarah went to kaela's house.. n than we all went back to my house for a while .. kaela left n sarah spent the night gain stayed up till like 5 iish we tried on all these cloths n took sooo many pikz lol n than finally fell asleep.. woke up round 11 sarah left round 2 .. came back n did my homework n was lazy all day =] nick was spossed to come over but my mommy wouldnt let him =[
thats bout it...
i love u jill !
*- just know i cant live without you
1 I'm almost there |
HOLD ON
|
|