I'm not gonna let you break me

:: 2004 29 February :: 2.36pm

READY FOR LOVE: You're sensitive but no pushover,
active but not manic. In short, you're a great
girl/guy who's ready for a relationship. If
you're not already involved with someone, it's
only because you want a guy/girl who's worthy
of your love---you just haven't met him/her
yet. That's cool. You've got plenty of other
interests to keep you busy. When you do meet
''Mr. Great/Miss. Great,'' chances are you
won't abandon all the other impotant stuff in
your life for romance. In fact, your
independance and spirit will be part of what
attracts him/her---and keeps him/her. Would YOU
PLEASE rate my quiz? YOU surely don't have to,
but i'd apreciate it more than YOU could
imagine if YOU would! Thanks! Peace out yo'!

Are YOU ready to have a BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND? For the OLDER GALS/GUYS!
brought to you by Quizilla

oh that is soo me lady and gents!! =p

Even chad agrees!! =)
Alien1088: yeah
Alien1088: it is u

:: 2004 28 February :: 6.05pm
:: Mood: crazy
:: Music: i dont want you back--eamon *or wateva*

When you smile, i melt..
Omfg guess who jus decided to show up at my house unexpectedly!!! STEVE!! Omg im in my pjs and i look like friggin satin!! =p

I HATE how im letting him use me!! Seriously like one minute he'll be kissin up on Tuesday n Brandy and then the next he's at my hosue making out wif me!! And i just let him, i dont yell at him, i dont tell him that i dont like what hes doing to me, i jus go along wif it!! And i fuckin hate it!!

Why the hell am i letting him use me/get to me like this!! I CANT be in love with the kid!! I CANT!! urgh if anyone has any advice..please let me know bcuz im all outta ideas!! ='(

:: 2004 27 February :: 3.49pm
:: Mood: moody
:: Music: yeah--usher--lil jon--n luda

Without you, nothing seems worth it =(
Wow today, yeah it was interesting!! Actually it was good, besides the fact that tiffany and me almost got into a fight!! I swear iw ould have socked the shit outta her if she wasnt cassie's friend!! i hate when i try to be respectful!! =(

But besides that, one good thing was that kyndra came into skool today tot alk to me! She didnt even have any other appointments, she jus wanted to talk to me cuz she said she would talk to me again sometime this week!! Then she was late to her appt lol but i'll see her tues in group at skool!! YaY!! =)

omg i luv this song its country, its i luv you this much by some odd guy i dont know lol but its a good song everyone listen to it =p

neways i dont think me and steve are going to work out this time!! But me and James are getting real close and whats his face asked me back out, so yeah..im okay!! =) cept i miss my baby =( and wif snowfest this next week, dammit i need him here wif me..srry depressing moment, back now!! =)

i have to go to da doctor when my mommy gets home, we think that i pulled a muscle in my shoulder dammit!! =( it hurts like hell ='(

neways thats enough for now, i think that ima get offline, internet bores me anymore..the only reason i get online is for this journal, and to talk to britts, but of krose she dont get hoem till like 4 30 and is never online anymore anyway so no use being online!! Luv you all =)

love..me!!

:: 2004 27 February :: 3.49pm
:: Mood: moody
:: Music: yeah--usher--lil jon--n luda

:: 2004 27 February :: 8.28am
:: Mood: cheerful

I'll be yours

heyy muh b-e-a-utiful peoplez! wow this week went by fast.. nothin really has been goin on .. wendesday it was raining reallly hard all day &the games were canceled.. last night the games were canceled 2 soO me & sarah talked on the fone lyk all day from lyk 5-10 haha n today shes comin over =] & we might go to the movies i dunno whatever we feel lyk
jay still hates me. he never wants to talk to me again i guess? ='[

right more when i got more to say.

if you'll be mine

1 I'm almost there | HOLD ON

:: 2004 25 February :: 11.57am
:: Mood: sore

Okay just sittin here in renteria's class being bored..man this lady gets on my nerves shes a bitch!!

But oh wells..neways nothing really been happening lately..cept one BIG THING!!

me and steve finally started talking again!! Omg yesterday we were talking during lunch cuz i went up to him cuz he was sad about something and yeah i was takling to him and we jus keep gettin closer and closer and den like yeah we hugged and then we kissed and when lunch was over we went to his 4th hour so we could tell him teacher and then we walked to my 4th hour and we were kissing and everything then he met me after 4th hour and we walked together to the lobby and then like he grabbed me and pulled me to the side and we were kissing and huggin and talkin and everything till my mom got there to pick me up!! So yeah i dnot know whats gonig on wif that..he keeps sayin you need to get ungrounded soon so that i can see you and we can go back out..yeah what if i dont wanna go out wif him again. But neways..

Yeah i went to meet my counsler last night. She is really really awesome!! I like her. Im going every tues at 3 pm!! YaY!! Ima get *better* hah funny shit!!

Well ima go for now..latah everyone!!

britters i miss you soo fuckin much!!

And ali jean, did you call me yesterday?? omg if you did im seriously going to kill my lil sister!! Dude if you can call me tonight or whenever you can!! i luv you soo fuckin much and miss you tons!! =)

Love..Jilly!! <33

:: 2004 24 February :: 8.40am
:: Mood: uncomfortable

youxwillxnever

HmMm.. sO yeserday was another yankee'z game 15-0 wOo hOo GoO yAnkEez!! they are reallly gOod.. undefeated so far.. wOop wOop .. neway me & sarah went & kev was playin so we couldnt tlk to him so we went n hung out w/ evan & tyler.. n we got our lollipops [ best part of the whole game ] & swung on the swings.. lol .. n than the four of us jus layed on this thing on one of the open fieldz n talked & laughed .. [ dat be my hip ! lol ] .. than we came back n watched Corey, Julian , & Bryan's game.. i love sarah she is sooo awsome we are hangin out alot latelly and we have alot in common n shes jus a sweethear .. <3333

well thats it..
write more later.

knowxhowxmuchxixlovexyou

1 I'm almost there | HOLD ON

:: 2004 22 February :: 3.37pm
:: Mood: thoughtful

well nothing has really been happening
this weekend, just worked last night
That was really fun tho, i aint seen tammy
in like wat seems like forever..but now she
wants me to come over this week and baby-
sit her lil girl, but im major busy, but of korse
i said that i would..wat a nice person eh =p

Last night steve called me after i got outta
work and we were talking for a while, and
he asked me if i would ever go back out with
him, and i said i dont know, and asked why
and he said because he wants to go back
out when im not grounded anymore, bcuz he
misses me..HAH BULLSHIT!! But no i really
dont want to go back out wif him, i need to
get my shit straight before i have a relationship
ya know..i need some time by myself, some
time for jilly for a while..then ill start dating
again, but just not right now. =)

Oh yeah you guys.. *chelsie mostly* im
getting *help* omg miss conrad/mrs beer
was soo happy lol..it was soo cute!! But
freal i am gettin help, im talking to a counsler
at skool and then im seeing one at the aware
shelter, and then im going to group counsling
at the aware shelter, and then im doing this
like second challenge day thingy to help other
students and everytyhing, *to become a
challenge day leader* and yeah then im doing
this like group counsling thingy at skool that
mrs arkison is doing, its on tues the first day,
then at the otehr group counsling is the
same day after skool..its gonna be great
you would be soo proud =p

Well thats enough for today, ima go..luv you
all soo much!! Latah!!

4 I'm almost there | HOLD ON

:: 2004 22 February :: 1.10pm
:: Mood: crappy

safe in your arms

so valentines day sucked..sunday i went to ema's for cake .. monday went shopping and gocarting @ green wells.. tuesday -kevins baseball game went w/ sarah&cassandra .. IT WAS SOOOO COOOOLD !! but kevv gave me his jacket--than me&sarah went to the bathroOm n like 15 ten year olds were tryin to get in tha gurl's bathrOom.. n there lyk OMG ITS THE HOTT GURLS!! U GUYS R SO HOTT U WANNA GO OUT ?! ".. aww it was so kyute!! than we hung out w/ evan fOr a lil bit than went back watched the rest of the game... * they wont corse * wendesday.. nothin really thursday.. nother one of kevin's game.. me&sarah went this time .. we were hangin out w/ TJ&Kevin wen they werent playin' .. TJ is sooo freakin hillarious.. &i met this gurl Heather ..shes really nice &than we hung out w/ Zach & watched the game some more.. they won `gain 7 to 1 i think? n than friday i spent the night @ courts.. saturday didnt feel good stayed in all day .. today i donno what im gonna do .. i have tons of homework to do .. make up work.. i had 2 d's n a F on my interum sO im grOunded from goin anywhere.. if i get un grounded im gOin to the movies w/ *nick on friday .. i really miss kevin...
&Jay !!!

<3.

iS where i belOng *

4 I'm almost there | HOLD ON

:: 2004 20 February :: 12.25pm

Hey britters, i jus wanted to write in ur journal because i havent talked to you in forever and i jus wanted to say that i luv you and that i miss you tons!!

HOpe to talk to you sometime soon..luv you lots babes!!

Luv..Your lil baby..Jillers!! =)

:: 2004 20 February :: 9.43am
:: Mood: restless

Wow were jus sittin here in uprights class and we arent doing anything, so i might as well just write in here..

Urgh me and my mom are like fighting soo horrible..we actually got into a fist fight the other day..all yesterday i had to walk around with this huge red mark rite on my face..it was soo noticable i felt like sucha loser =/

I dont think that im ever going to be ungrounded..which means that i will never be able to do anything..with anyone..so me n steve are going to start not talking, and then cassie and I are going to lose touch again..and urgh all of my friends are gettin mad at me cuz i either cant do anything..or ive gotta work ='(

The only thing good about this week, is that me and Brandy are becoming alot better friends!! She is really awesome!! I luv this gurl hehe!! But she thinks that i like really dont like her that much cuz like she dont have very many friends here at nw yet..and so she asked me if i wanted to go to holt with her and met some of her friends this weekend, but no i cant..gotta friggin work, and im still grounded!! =(

Dammit i miss my baby ali jean!! I seriously wish that i could talk to her soo friggin bad!! I jus wanna cry ='( But i wont cuz like wat my mom said before, your not surposed to cry..it makes you a weak person =/ And i friggin miss brittany marie gamester too!! Babes i luv you and hope that your okay..gosh i miss everyone..oh well life goes on ig uess =(

Well ima go..i think that im going to like go to bed or something..latah everyone =(

<33 Jilly!!

:: 2004 18 February :: 9.55am
:: Mood: indescribable

Rest in peace!!
Omfg everyone!! Joes dad died..hes dead..gone forever..and kevin hes in the hospital with like a swollen brain and then like a broken jaw and all of his teeth knocked out!!

Omg i hurried as fast as i could to this class too, and i found duffey sittin at her computer all alone with nobody around and shes was bawling!! I jus grabbed her and she was shakin and she didnt let go or anything..omg i feel soo horrible!! I seriously luv sidnee duffey soo fuckin much!! shes means everything to me and i hope that she is okay..this really sucks!! i hate this, i luv her soo much shes still crying!! ='(

Brittany marie gamester i miss you call me tonight if you read this and if you want to. But yeah i luv you soo much and miss you tons!!

And ali jean, omg i got ur letter last nite..omg your the best friend ever sweetie pie!! Awwe your soo sweet i started crying!! i luv you soo fuckin much!! awwes!! Ima write you back..and well ya know!! lol i luv you soo much!!

Please pray for kevin that he is okay..and pray for little joe and mallory *shes only six, and little joe is 15 my age, and then kevin is only 12* and thier mother..god help us down here *yesh i said god britt*

<33 Jilly!!

Okay im going to just edit this journal entry and write while WE ARE DOING NOTHING..wait i mean while brandy is doing nothing in tuckers class!! =) heh

Well nothing much has happened since last hour but yeah duffey didnt stop crying the whole class, it was really upsetting, and i started crying.. *yesh i actually started crying brittany*

But yeah we've gotta get going..ill write more latah t nite!!

BRANDY IS AN ASSHOLE!! =) heh jk shes kool..*britt u know all bout dat*

:: 2004 14 February :: 5.19pm

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY EVERYONE!!

I LUV YOU ALL =)

britts chels megs n my baby ali jean!! Have a wonderful v day!! i luv you all soo fuckin much!!

ali jean i luv you..ur my valentine!! and the best one at that!!

Britts ur my second valetine but you mean jus as much i luv you all!! latah babes!!

2 I'm almost there | HOLD ON