I'm not gonna let you break me

:: 2004 27 April :: 10.30am
:: Mood: drained

To feel luv you must feel pain..
Yeah this blows.. 2 DaYz today everyone ='( Yeah dont wrry i fuckin hate me too. ='(

Im hopin today will be a better day Since every since last wed has been horrible for me. Im going to Brandy's tonight. So thats good.

But ive gotta go now, luv you all. Byes!!

:: 2004 27 April :: 9.54am
:: Mood: bitchy

im not feeling good bc I like anthony but Erics susposed to ask me back out but i wont kiss him for at least one moth then if he tries to thatll be another month!

FUCK THE ASA! APA all the way

:: 2004 27 April :: 9.54am
:: Mood: bitchy

im not feeling good bc I like anthony but Erics susposed to ask me back out but i wont kiss him for at least one moth then if he tries to thatll be another month!

FUCK THE ASA! APA all the way

:: 2004 27 April :: 9.54am
:: Mood: bitchy

im not feeling good bc I like anthony but Erics susposed to ask me back out but i wont kiss him for at least one moth then if he tries to thatll be another month!

FUCK THE ASA! APA all the way

:: 2004 26 April :: 1.14pm

i love u guyz 4 being there for me... even though this might be the last time i write, and no. im not moving.
P.s. FUCK YOU CASEY KIELMEN... I TOL U U DIDNT NEED THAT CAKE! NOW U LOOK FATT

:: 2004 26 April :: 12.23pm

Hold me tight and never let me go..
Wow, this last weekend was fuckin horrible. I ended up quiting my job on sat.

And then I couldn�t go rockin bowling wif kala n everyone else like I was going to. And then yesterday on Sunday I ended up running away and had James come pick me up and take me bak home this morning for skool at like 6 am. So yeah my weekend wasn�t that good =(

Gosh and then my puter is f�ed up so yeah I really cant like get online for a long while. Im not sure when the next time is that I can get online. Maybe a week or so. SO yeah I cant talk wif alla you for a while which sucks.

And yeah we�ve gotta start over you guys..everyone sigh now..yeah I hate me too. Brittany if you geton call me t nite plz!!

<33 Jilly

4 I'm almost there | HOLD ON

:: 2004 23 April :: 7.10pm

http://www.postpoems.com/members/behindmysmile/

Everyone go there, its some of my poems..not many are on there yet. But plz go check it out..and leave comments!! =)

*Britty ill be bak t nite, i hope to talk wif you i luv you*

*Jay i hope u have a wonderful nite i luv you lots* =)

<333 Jilly!!

:: 2004 23 April :: 9.57am

i love you jill i love you jill i love you jill i love u jill i love you jill i love you jill i love you jill

-Duffey

thoughtskill

:: 2004 23 April :: 8.39am

KraZedBlOndie69: teen drinking is very bad!
COBIA69: NO ITS NOT =-O

KraZedBlOndie69: teen drinking iz very bad!
zac000lz8946: huh?

KraZedBlOndie69: teen drinking is very bad
WoWo CoWo 1490: why?

KraZedBlOndie69: teen drinking is very bad !
bLu eyed fLoosie: y0 i got a fake id thO
DING DING DING !! g0 Lee! <3.

11 I'm almost there | HOLD ON

:: 2004 22 April :: 9.44pm
:: Mood: lonely

The end is near, i can feel it..
Omfg, i am soo sick of that skool. Everyone says they care jus ohh soo much. But okay heres a perfect example of how much none of my friends care..

Today i was walkin outta 2nd hour, and guess whose standin rite there Kyndra I aint seen her since before spring break. So i was soo happy and excited But i knew it was going to be one of the last times.. that i woudl get to talk, or even see her. Cuz i knew, *cuz sherry told me yesterday* that she was going to be done the week after next week. So 2 weeks away But no guess wat? Today was the LAST FUCKIN DAY i did everything i could to hold bak my tears while i was wif her. She even got me this present, it was a jurnal, and told me to write in it, and to never forget her.. But then i walk out, and go to 3rd hour and i start crying. nobody says a word to me, lunch comes around, im sittin here talkin wif my friends and i start crying nobody says a word to me, and thier lookin rite at me, so i walk into the bathroom, bawl my eyes out the rest of lunch and jus sit there durin 4th hour crying. nobody even noticed i was gone.. I leave for the bus early so i wont have to see anyone, nobody notices,

So i come home hoping someone would IM me or call me, or something..but no nobody really wants to talk to me. I dont know wat to do anymore, i have nobody. And im seriously still cryin cuz i didnt knw taht was going to be the last time seeing kyndra!! Wtf!! *I think im gonna get sick* I cant stop crying, I cant talk to anyone, im soo stressed out over this newspaper, and ive been busy every single day this week. And im still busy all weekend. i dont know wat to do Well thats enough complaining for today. Bye..

Ali jean, i luv you and ima always be here no matter wat happens

2 I'm almost there | HOLD ON

thoughtskill

:: 2004 22 April :: 8.54pm
:: Mood: happy
:: Music: She wantz t0 m0ve --* lma0 Ashy!!

0ne day y0ull miSs mE lyk i miSseD y0u..*
Hey my shweet sexi beautiful people !
im in a gr8 m0od.. t0dayy was really g0od .. 1zt period we played with ~~clay~~ playy d0 all class - l0l w0rk it !! 2nd period - t0ld gh0st st0riez .. l0l that waz kinda fun =P LunCh me n Ash were singin l0l.. TAKE A L0oK @ Y0UR GURL .. SHE L0VES IT !! lma0* 3rd peri0d- tezt =/ .. 4th period .. hung out w/ Mark & we wr0te 0n each 0ther all peri0d cuhz we hadD n0 w0rk =] than parent pik up -- hung 0ut w/ my cripled sister .. l0l shez hurt herr f0ot & iz 0n crutchez cuhzZ she stePped 0n a t0oth pik lma0 -- dumaSs !! l0l jk i l0ve y0u baBez ! t0marR0w . . im h0pefulLy g0in t0 the dance [ i n0 im lamMe-- itz f0r Xtra creddit ] w/ Nick'z sister Kayla ! n were g0nna sit in the c0rner, make funN 0f everyune, eat , n ask 6th graDerz 2 dancce l0l.. yayy !! than nick'z m0mmy iz pikin us up n were g0n bak 2 their h0use =] . . n i gett t0 C muh babii finallyy..

i remember the day we met started 0ut lyk n e 0ther dayy y0u were jus an0ther kute face in the croud
what i didnt kn0w than - - that dayy w0uld change mii life f0rever i l0ve y0u -- *

p.s. i f0rg0t t0 tell y0u h0w felicia saved my life AGAIN !!! we were at the m0vies n she rannn int0 my armz -- * l0l n than we were talkin n this DRUNK m0ter cycle man was SPEEDING d0wn the street `nd we rann n she pushed me 0utta the way -- * l0l !! x0x0x0x0

3 I'm almost there | HOLD ON

:: 2004 21 April :: 9.56pm
:: Mood: depressed

Just kill me now..
Omg every1 is mad at me today, why does every1 do this to me?! Jays mad bcuz i said you 2..im sorry im in a bad mood, i didnt mean anything by it. Becky is mad at me cuz she thinks im jealous of her and brandy becoming good friends, and brandy is mad at me for nott alkin to her and havin other friends..and thier both mad cuz i dont talk to them when thier together or some shit like that, which aint true they dont talk to me neither, and then britts mad cuz like im talkin to stacey or something and im stupid cuz of that. Mike is mad at me bcuz i wouldnt tell him why i was crying earlier. Stacey is mad at me cuz britt yelled at her..wtf does that have to do wif me?! Ick i wish someone would jus talk to me, and understand wat im feeling sometimes, i always have to help every1, and nobdoy ever helps me!! I hate this!! ='(

Isnt there anyone here who cares about Jill? I mean i have feelings too, i cant help you all, all the time, i need some fuckin help, I need some fuckin medicine thats wat i need, im fuckin depressed, and i have migranes like u wont believe, and i seriously cant sleep ever, but of korse i cant see a doctor cuz my mom is fuckin crazy too. I need to talk to someone that dont only care bout themselves. But nobody wants to talk to me, ex right now. I wish i could jus die. freal. ='( If there really was a god he would fuckin jus like kill me right now, actually he would make me die slowly, the most painful death, i would rather die of cancer than live any longer, and i swear to god i mean that.

I dont need ur fuckin sympothy, i dont need you to talk shit about me, i dont need anything except for your FUCKIN HELP Well sicne nobody cares, and nobody will prolly read this, im gonna go. Bye!!

2 I'm almost there | HOLD ON