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2003 23 October :: 6.58 pm
I wish this part of me
Could go away
Leave it drenched in the past
Pretending that it doesn't matter
Pretending that my blood doesn't spill
When I'm alone
Wishing that it could be known
That It hurts inside
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Wrecklessness Abandonment
All those times I've been left alone
(Laying helpless on the ground)
All those time you didnt know
(Laying there to be found)
Never did you come
I started to shut myself down
You left me there alone
Never took the time to figure it out
Your frustration took away my freedom
When I was living in a world of anarchy
You taught me that I was wrong
When you were living in a world of rights
Everyday I think of the perfect time to die
The perfect chance to make you feel like it was your fault
So you left me here alone
Never figured this out
Too late now
This time I shut you out
Blow me a... |
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2003 21 October :: 7.29 pm
| Yeah. | | What are your thoughts on dachshunds?: | Who knows... | | Would you ever have sex with a mentally retarded person?: | .....no... WAIT....no.... WAIT....no | | What if they were really, really hot?: | No...WAIT...no...WAIT....no..wait.... | | What's your favorite flavor of pixie stick?: | pink | | Which sex do you prefer? Vaginal, anal, aural, nasal or post mortem?: | post mortem omg lol | | Are you too sexy for your shirt?: | depends what shirt... | | What about your pants?: | what about my pants? lol | | Do overweight African American women turn you on?: | no..they have saggy boobs | | If you were to star in your first porno, what would you title it?: | omg Star Wars:"Return of the Dildo" | | Cocaine or heroin? (say neither, and I'll kill you.): | Poop | | April 26, 1992..there was a riot on the street, tell me where were you.: | in the riot lighting flaming bags of poo | | Would you rather be tragically thin or morbidly obese?: | tragically thin then I could be a skeleton for halloween | | What would you like me to make for you out of clay?: | yes | | And one last thing... | | Spit, swallow or bathe?: | ....ha |
Random? brought to you by BZOINK!
Blow me a... |
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2003 20 October :: 4.30 pm
today was ok...
I snorted.. lol zach
Yeah..nothing much happened today it was a pretty gay day other than the camp jim picture was funny.
I dropped my pencil and kicked it around until someone picked it up for me so I wouldnt have to bend over. lol
Today was just silly.
Blow me a... |
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2003 18 October :: 10.04 am
:: Mood: tired
Lastnight some of us went to Jimmy's to watch a movie. It was Carinna,Steph,frank,me,dannie, and Jimmy. We watched Black Sheep lol. That movie isnt as funny as Tommy Boy.
It was fun after the movie we watched makin the band2 and camp jim lol oh dont forget nip and tuck too.
Then carinna spent the night and shes still sleeping right now. silly lol
I might go shopping today. Go blow off some of my bday money.
See ya.
Blow me a... |
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2003 16 October :: 7.34 pm
interestingg
I just remembered some strange childhood memories of mine..so strange I thought I'd write about them...
When I was like 8ish we made our own garage band. We took these huge tubs and turned them upside down for drums and used paint sturrers for drumsticks. We'd like lipsync and play to like early 90s music like Ace of Base and that one groop that sang that song that was like "boom boom boom let me hear you say ayyoo ..ayyooo" lol and like dance/techo music. God those were some good times in my garage lol oh ya and dont forget the group La Bouche. god how cool was I.
I need to talk about our forts we had. I'm not kidding those forts were the best fuckin thing we ever did in our lives. It was in this vacant lot next to my house that had a big hole in the middle because they were going to build a house there but never did. So we'd take branches and like make our dens and forts and stuff every summer and most days after school. We called it the sandlot. Every weekend we'd either call eachother or just go to the sandlot and start building and modifying the fort. Its like it was never finished. We always had something new to add to it. If they didnt build a house there I'd still go to that sandlot. I bet we all would and all go have a group meeting like old times lol
Blow me a... |
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2003 16 October :: 7.15 pm
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: none
Today
It was pretty boring today. Nothing really going on. I can't believe tomorrow is FRIDAY! Thats c-r-a-z-y. I hope to go shopping this weekend cuz I could REALLY use some new clothes..aka new HOODIES lol God I love hooded sweatshirts..they are comfy. I have like 3 tests tomorrow the only one I really need to study for is Spanish. I'll do ok.
I'm going to start going to bed early..like 10 ish. Extreme Make-over is on tonight so I can't go to bed early. lol
I'm improving on my talking skills...Right Wallace lol
Peace out
Blow me a... |
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2003 15 October :: 4.26 pm
:: Music: Camp Jim
Good Grief Charle Brown
Yeah Monday was my birthday. I shouldnt even call it my birthday. Its not like anyone cared about it. In my house atleast. It is kindof fucked up when you dont recieve any presents...or a birthday cake. No one even said "happy birthday".
Oh I did get bitched at though. Thats always good.
When will anyone get a clue that I'm not Ok? I hate my family.
Carinna might put together something for me this weekend. I hope we all do something but if not I'll still do something with Carinna. I really dont think you can get a better friend than her.
I love u Carinna poos lol
Schools ok. boring.
i'm out.
3 *KiSses |
Blow me a... |
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2003 9 October :: 7.49 pm
Schools a bitch
I'm doing ok in school. Apparently B's arent good enough for my mom. Whats it going to take for her to finally be proud of me? I'm doing my best. She'll never understand. Shes such a bitch. I hate her.
Homecoming is in 2 days. I'm nervous. I kindof wish I would have gone with steph and them but I know i'll have fun with Emily and plus its a good oppertunity to meet some new people and get some new friends I guess. Its all good... I miss Emily I need to hang with her more.
I've come far. I'm friends with people who I thought I could never be friends with. I guess I can achieve what I set my mind to I guess..unless things just blend together on their own..
what a lesson for today.
I almost peed my pants in Civics. This guy was doing this weird dance and making funny high pitched noises..I swear..I peed allittle.
5 *KiSses |
Blow me a... |
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2003 5 October :: 2.23 pm
Weekend Update with Jimmy Fallen and Tina Fey
God I love Jimmy fallen and Tina Fey..
I just love weekend update...and SNL
Have you seen the new cast members on SNL? Some of them are gay. I'll never get use to it. neverrr. SNL will never be the same without my Will Ferril. I love that guy.
Yea...WHATEVA! (lol arie.)
Spirit week this week the only things I plan to participate in is PJ day and hoody day. Thank you. I thought about the whole Pirate thing and it reminded me of Orlando Bloom and Jonny Depp. Now those were some sexy pirates. Right Carinna? Carinna I love you. I didnt get to do anything with you this weekend. Damn babysitting. :-(
I dont want to go to school tomorrow. I still have homework to do tonight. Studying...and some topography map for science. That reminds me ...dannie called me for help on that...I have to call her back even though when I'm done writing this I'll probably forget about it already lol
Yep..just forgot about it.
yea..WHATEVA!
1 *KiSs |
Blow me a... |
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2003 3 October :: 8.56 pm
:: Mood: discouraged
I think people think I'm more happy than I really am.
What do you do when its like that? How do you try to break out of the shell of always trying to be funny and always trying to please everyone? I can't just stop then act like I don't give a shit about it because I actually do care. When someone says something...to you..something about you...something that sticks..sticks inside your head. Fucks with your mind. Starts taking over you. It gets to you. I need to surround myself with people that make these thoughts go away. For good. I'm tired of feeling trapt inside everything. Looking from the inside out. I wish that this could be known and that I could get help.
4 *KiSses |
Blow me a... |
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2003 3 October :: 7.16 pm
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: Incubus-Drive
Fball game...school..etc.
Well I actually did end up going to Carinna's game and it was cool. Rockford won of course. Then we walked over to the freshman football game and watched them play and kindof poked fun at the cheerlearders. It was fun hanging out with Carinna, Steph, Dannie, and Mandy Ferins. Mandy is really nice and cool. I stayed with Steph and Carinna for the JV game. It was so fucking cold out. We hung out, watched Frank open his bday gifts lol Its not everyday someone opens bday gifts at the football game but its all good and the football players all had their spandex on and it was nice. Very..nice... lol
Today half day of course. My dad picked me up and i got home and took a nap as usual..I'm glad the week is over. Tomorrow I'm going shopping as planed. I have yet to get my dress. Its all good I'll find something cool.
I'm out
Blow me a... |
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2003 2 October :: 3.18 pm
:: Mood: content
:: Music: Switchfoot-We were meant to live
school
School was ok today I guess. Fuck that. When I got home I took a nice 2 hr nap. I should go to Carinnas game tonight but I have an ortho. I need to go to one of her games on of these days or I'll feel bad. Sry Carinna lol. This weekend I'm going shopping. I need to get some new clothes and look for a homecoming dress. I dont even know if I want to go anymore..I'll just go and get it over with it will be fun! I'm going to em's for pictures then we are going to Danielle's for food and stuff then to the dance. Possibly bowling lol Dont ask, Emily told me about it and I was like ..ok whatevers fun i guess. But it better be that ghetto ass disco bowling with the fog machines lol. I'll have fun, I know I will. Then we're sleepin over at em's that will be fun because I havent been to her house in ages. hahah oh the memories.
Blow me a... |
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2003 1 October :: 2.32 pm
Tells you how to feel. Tells you what to say. Tells you when you can be mad. Tells you that you're a bitch. Knows how to make you feel worthless. Knows how to twist your words. Tells you that your wrong. Says that they are always right. Looks at you when you walk by. Doesn't say anything back when you say hi. Acts like everythings fine.
Well, It isn't.
2 *KiSses |
Blow me a... |
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2003 27 September :: 9.10 pm
:: Mood: ok.
:: Music: Seether- Gasoline
Today..ahh today..
What the hell I have to go pee again lol
Today I went dress shopping for homecoming. It was good. I couldnt decide on a dress so we're going back tomorrow. I'm having second thoughts about this whole homecoming thing. Ugh. I dont even know if I want to go or not. Oh well..I'll go. I know i'm going. It will be fun. Or wont it be fun?
My sister gets annoying.
No ones online
I'm tired and hungry. But its ok. I'll have a cookie.
It will go straight to my ass lol
1 *KiSs |
Blow me a... |
::
2003 26 September :: 6.32 pm
:: Music: 12 Stones-Crushed
The pee mood..and other random things..
I DID NOT MAKE THAT GAY WOOHU MAKIN SHIT UP ABOUT PEOPLE I WOULDNT DO THAT AND PLUS THE PEOPLE ON THERE ARE PEOPLE I KNOW AND DONT HATE SO DONT FUCKIN JUDGE ME
Ahhh.. I'm bored. Once again..I'm on the computer and I have the sudden urge to pee. What the hell is up with that. Its like when you go to hide somewhere and you get excited to scare someone then you have to go pee and it ruins it for everyone. God. lol
I'm trying to aim for a more positivly based Amy starting..now I guess? I dont know I feel that maybe lately I've been being kindof stand of-ish with some good friends and maybe I pissed them off or something but I'm sorry. I think the older I get, the more I wont be like myself. Its crazy. I use to not care what people thought and I felt like I had confidence to be daring and to always be the "Funny" one but like I can't do that in person anymore. I like don't talk much. God lol I'm workin on it people hang in there with me. God I do have to pee..
I talked to danielle on the phone for a while about how weird some of the guys are at our school like the guys from the 10/12 building that still go to the freshman center for 9th grade classes..like Ian Bartholomule for example... lol Ians lives close to me. No one realizes that. Ian scares me. He lives like a couple streets down from me and in the summer he would like throw metal balls in his yard and play horse shoes. How scary/weird/creepy/random is that. and they tie their dogs leashes to a clothes line in their backyard...my dad said his mom dances when she mows the lawn also.. Weird things just for you to ponder about. Yes. I just said ponder.
I think this is going to be quite a long entry..I've got on to blabbing about things and stuff again. Well, I didnt go to the football game tonight. My parents and my sister did though. SCORE! Amy gets house to self and gets to drink the alcoholic beverages!!!!! KICK ASS! lol what the fuck, who says alcoholic beverages. Anyways...
I better go...pee of course.. lol
I'm out biznotchessssss helll yeaahhh
7 *KiSses |
Blow me a... |
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